So there I was, with special invitation, presenting my life's work Curvy Chains In Banach Spaces to our queen (and chief herbalist) Solon Askilrud. Nine hours later, I awake tied up, with a pounding headache, in the back of a wagon headed out of the city. “Too confussling,” she says, “Me no likey big words,” she says, “Why we even pay you what?” So she decides a Professor of Mathematics would make an excellent leader for the most redneck armpit of the MountainHome's dominion. Normally we'd let such people be, but these hicks happen to be sitting on the largest gold deposit in the known world. And there's nothing our dearest queen loves more than her gold. So now I'm off to PointedCraft, population 59, HFS on earth. This, is my journal.
1St Granite, 1053
First thing I notice as I make my entrance is the lack.. of an entrance. Seriously, it's just a hole dug in the dirt, with not even a road leading up to it. If we're going to elevate this place above its current status we're going to need to do a little better than that. The second, the gold, there is a lot of it, 34270 Urists in bars, and countless more in amulets, goblets, statues, and the like. The previous overseer, whose quarters contain a suspicious quantity of the fortress's wealth, left a note that I should check up on the military. I do, and I only wish I could unsee it. The after-action reports describe soldiers kicking, biting, and punching their foes. To think these are the kind of dwarves protecting the world's richest gold mine is simply horrifying. And if these soldiers should fail in our defense, we'll be forced to lock ourselves in and die of dehydration, as there's no internal source or reservoir of water. The division of labor is bizarre as well, with a legendary rockcrafter ordered to do nothing but haul and clean, while fortress has twenty idlers. The brewing is left to novices and dabblers, while brew-masters are disallowed. The security concerns, of course, come first.
2Nd Granite, 1053
I have drafted a number of amateur masons to begin construction on a small castle. Lumberjacks have begun clearing out a road to the south. I'll have it paved shortly.
10Th Granite, 1053
Castle construction is going well, I've ordered the gates to be made of gold, I'm pretty sure we actually have more of it than stone. I've also created a new squadron to defend our gates, the “Golden Stars”. Unlike their predescors “The Golden Women” they are both of ambiguous gender and training in the use of the crossbow. Because civilized dwarves shoot at helpless foes from superior fortifications... It's the honorable thing to do.
10Th Granite, 1053
Castle construction is going well, I've ordered the gates to be made of gold, I'm pretty sure we actually have more of it than stone. I've also created a new squadron to defend our gates, the “Golden Stars”. Unlike their predescors “The Golden Women” they are both of ambiguous gender and training in the use of the crossbow. Because civilized dwarves shoot at helpless foes from superior fortifications... It's the honorable thing to do.
14th Granite, 1053
I've just received notice that one of our new soldier suddenly gave birth while climbing the stairs; I'll have to order an injunction so people can't go about disturbing the goldsmiths like that again. I'll never understand provincials. Also, our miltia captain appears to be missing both his lower arms, I don't know how I didn't notice that before.
16Th Granite
This may be the most astounding feat of absent-mindedness I've ever seen.
25Th Granite
The gold is cursed! Flee for your lives!
Shortly thereafter, the game crashed and all progress was lost. Further experimentation proved that for whatever reason, it's too unstable to handle saves of any real size. ¯\(°_o)/¯ Consider everything you've just read to be an alternate timeline, as I'm passing the save, once again, to the next player. Maybe the gold really is cursed. Also, I'd like to put in a request to be dorfed, as brewmaster if you please.