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[EBannion]

Episodes one and two were over here.

Now, without further ado,

Episode Three

Revenge of the Things

That's right, the settlement has crumbled to its end again, and it's time to let you crazy, masochistic captains of murder do what you do best - KILL THINGS!

And also get killed, because hey, what's a mission without a few deaths, right?

This time I'll have rules, because rules give you strength through joy (thanks James May for that inspirational quote.)

Rule 1: Signups / Turn Precedence: Psh, yeah right, rules. Like I'm that organized.

I know! How about lettered steps instead of numbered rules? They are less intimidating because LETTER MAN, NOT NUMBERS! And it's clearly a superior form of list bullet headings because I just checked my keyboard and there are ONLY TEN NUMBERS! One of which is ZERO! Which isn't real! And there are TWENTY-FIVE (or so; what, do you think I counted them? Sheesh.) LETTERS! More means better! It's a rule! I mean, letter-bullet-headed guideline!

Here's a letter-bulet-headed list of guidelines on how 'getting to do this' is done:

A. Go HERE and download the .rar of the current save (Kilrudzulban Post Fortress 2) from DFFD. Those folks are awesome - they make all of this community-game-sharing shenanigans possible!

B. Go HERE to the post on my Blog, Elleshaped.com, that shows where the mighty fortress of Kilrudzulban, Bronzebanners, is located in the world of Tethaomon, 'The Destined Realms'.

C. Make an adventurer and set out for glory! If you tell us about your progress here, we will all be very entertained, and maybe some things of value will be created!

D. I'm serious - no signups. However, there is structure! If you make an adventurer who dies during their attempt, don't delete the save - just make another one and try again. More dead people means more history! And that means fewer engravings of engravings of engravings of gauntlets with a picture of an engraving of the gauntlet on them.

E. If you successfully complete the primary objective, CONGRATULATIONS! You just won the contest. Your reward? ENDING THE GAME FOR EVERYONE. You jerk. Also FAME AND GLORY in a hallowed spot in a post on my blog! Shh, quiet down all the cheering. I know, I know, I can hardly afford to just give my wit away like this but YOU ARE ALL WORTH IT! Oh, and if you win, don't forget to upload the save to DFFD (please, please, please to DFFD - I don't want to have to make accounts on a jillion download sites for this when we have such an awesome one right there.)

F. Primary objective? What? You didn't tell us there was an obje-

I INTERRUPT THIS ANSWER TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT! THERE IS NOW A PRIMARY OBJECTIVE!

The site of Bronzebanners, once having its inhabitants exterminated by goblins, has fallen again, this time under the combined weight of SEVEN Forgotten Beasts. Well, six, because some of the last immigrants killed one of them right before everything ended, but I'm not picky.

What sort of danger should you expect? Well, that would be telling! BUT! As previously stated, I am VERY GENEROUS with things that don't cost me anything. So, by way of potential warning:







There're three of them! There are four more! Which one is dead? I'm NOT GOING TO TELL YOU! MWAHAHAHAHA!

There are two levels of success to the primary objective - KILLING ONE of the monsters, or KILLING ALL! of the monsters.

If you make it in only to be killed after destroying one or more (but fewer than all of them) of these horrible creatures, you are AWESOME! If you want to keep trying, do it - don't give up! Ever! Even if sanity cries out in horrible agony at the strain you put it under!

If you decide to give up after killing one or more of the creatures, YOU QUITTER! It's ok, I have a plan - post your save, so that those who come after you will have less horribleness to deal with. You will get SOME GLORY but you will HAVE TO SHARE! So kill them all and be greedy!

If one adventurer kills them all without being killed themselves, and they are able to retire without being rotten in every body part they have and a few they don't, YOU ARE AWESOME! But you're just as done. Post the save and I'll do my best to reresettle the location without dying (hint - I probably will lose again, and then the FUN comes back to your side! I suck at forts especially when I'm trying to let them die without giving away the fact that I'm trying to let them die! Which I just gave away here. Damn. New plan.)

If you want to write an awesome incharacter description of your adventures, like the log submitted by Pirate Bob for his adventurer 'Tekkud Sirabkol', the winner of the last project (which you can see HERE) I will probably include your story in my post! I might edit it if you are worse (or better, and I want to hide that fact) at writing than I am but I will DEFINITELY tell SOMEONE that you helped.

It might be my cat. It might be EVERYONE! That's part of the mystery surprise reward!

That's all I have to say! Go forth and murder in the name of ARMOK! Also Bronzebanners!

OH MY GOD! I totally forgot the second part of your reward!

There are at least five full platemail suits of masterwork MAGIC SKYMETAL OF SPOILERNESS armor kickin' around in there. So even if you retire your adventurer to send the save to me, you can go back and keep killing things with your amazing totally indistructable until they aren't and they die suddenly metal-clad adventurer! HUZZAH!

[WillowLuman]

Damn, it finally came up again when I don't have time

[wowie]

I might try this... Just not right now. A quarter of the time I can't even live through the first nightfall, let alone level enough to take on stuff like that.

[Broken]

Downloading now. Lets see how this goes.

Edit: I made an adventurer, assaulted a tower for necromancy, and went to the fortress. But i can't do anything there, the fps is so
low i need a minute for step.

[EBannion]

Damn, that sucks a lot.

I intentionally didn't let the things in the basement out and there're no flows.

I wonder what's messing with the FPS? It worked out last time.

[Tarqiup Inua]

There were amphibian corpses and some mushroom-tree blowdarts on the surface... and I got combat spam about naked mole dog fighting amphibian men... mayhaps that

[EBannion]

The fort is sited above an antpeople hive that I mostly exterminated, a batpeople nest that I was leaving pretty much alone, and several tribes of amphibianpeople.

It's a pretty happening cavern, all told.

[Broken]

I uses df hack slayrace to kill antmen (a hundred of them) an other critters, but it did't work. Still laggy.

[Tarqiup Inua]

Note to self: when trying similar project, implement map-wide magma cleaning mechanism and wall-off the important stuff in room somewhere aside.

[EBannion]

Yeah, stuff really does get scattered, doesn't it? <grin>

[Broken]

You can use the lair command in df hack to prevent scattering.

[EBannion]

You can use the lair command in df hack to prevent scattering.

If I wanted to prevent it!

The scatter gives the reclaiming dwarves something to do, since they don't have to like, carve out and design the fortress.

<grin>

[kesperan]

OK, my first post on the forums but I have been playing DF for a few months now. Initially on fortress mode to learn the mechanics (my for is in year 15 now and is the mountainhome, yay!) but more recently had a go at adventure mode. My legendary 2000+ kill human has depopulated his world of dragons so I was looking for a new challenge, and this caught my eye.

I started a dwarf adventurer (first time, can't find any armour for him, so am playing as an axe-wielding ninja vampire - sneak, choke, feed, chop off bits, decapitate) and he has arrived at the site of Bronzebanners as an elite wrestler with 106 kills, most recently a dismembered yeti called Brandedaged, which I read as Braindamaged and woke the wife up giggling.

The problem is the game has shuddered to a halt. I can move one space per minute, and Windows threatens to crash the client each time.

Checking combat log, I see "Queen Ant Woman Spearman is caught in a burst of cave floater gas" and "Forgotten Beast is caught in a burst of Forgotten Beast Frozen Extract" - which considering I am on top of the mountain and I don't see any hostiles must be happening many levels below me.

I think the number of entities and/or temperature calculations has made the game stop functioning for me which is a shame, I was looking forwad to getting my hands on some dwarf sized armour as my xbrown recluse spider dressx is so last season.

Can anyone offer any tips on how to get things moving again?

I downloaded DFHack and tried /slayrace ANT_MEN but nada...

Yours optimistically,

Kesp

[EBannion]

Yeah, it seems like adventure-mode FPS at the fort site is brutally bad.

There aren't any flows, and I didn't dump any magma anywhere extra so I don't think it's those issues.

Most likely it's the six forgotten beasts and their clouds of various kinds of poison extracts that they blast clouds of that is causing it, though there's also an antpeople nest with a hundred or so antpeople still in it.

Also there's a few families of batpeople and the like down there which can be contributing because of how silly the flying-capable pathfinding is right now.

I'm quite disappointed, especially since in fort mode I get about 20 FPS at the site. I think that adventure mode might have a different process for deciding who to simulate and who to estimate based on location.

If anyone has any suggestions on how to improve this, lemme know, but otherwise I'll probably have to start a new fort. I'll use the same world, though, and maybe some day a return to Bronzebanners will be possible.

[kesperan]

Painfully slowly, Kogan "Ironhammer" Datannil stealthily sneaked towards the imposing edifice of Bronzebanners. He noticed a few mountain goats and a lonely dwarf trader were the only things living on the surface, strewn with hundreds of corpses.

Sneaking into a winding tunnel, Kogan realised too late that this was probably a goblin death chamber - a thought confirmed as a whirring trap knocked the wind from him. Dodging like a ninja, he made it to the end of the tunnel and the entrance proper with only a bruised stomach and lower body. (Not to mention the missing tooth and cracked toenails from a particularly vicious battle with a group of 20 outlaws a few days previously...)

Edging ever closer into the fortress proper, Kogan was saddened by the carnage. Skeletons of his brethren lay scattered wide. Sneaking down into what appeared to be the dormitory level, Kogan's keen hearing heard the scraping of something... alive!

Crawling to the source, Kogan threw open the *diorite door* to reveal a hideous creature... apparently having a nap on a bed.

Zakost Dorkulozu was an enormously fat creature. A twisted bird-thing with three baleful eyes, it looked to be resting an injury. Kogan noticed it's left foot had rotted away. Armok only knows what foul creature had injured a beast such as this.

Without a second's thought, Kogan set about the beast in the darkness, wielding his Ξ<*iron pick*>Ξ and +iron battle axe+ like a dervish. What seemed like days later, the creature was bruised and broken. Gushing foul blood from multiple broken limbs and in thick gouts from it's torn heart. Kogan swung his axe in one last valiant effort, describing a shining arc which separated the malevolent beast's head from it's avian shoulders...

http://i42.tinypic.com/2hfnpd4.jpg

One down, 6 (?) to go...