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[scriver]

It was spectacular, at least.

Huh, you're right. C'mon George, you made the books long as hell anyway, you couldn't spare some time to write a passable vow of all seven gods? Here look, I'll do it now.

In the Name of the Warrior, I charge you to be brave.
In the Name of the Father, I charge you to be just.
In the Name of the Mother, I charge you to protect the young.
In the Name of the Maiden, I charge you to protect the innocent.
In the Name of the Smith, I charge you 9 and 500 for your armour.

There, easy.

Fiksed đat fore ye

[zombat]

Well I think the battle was pretty epic, as much as I could make out the dark smudges between jump cuts...

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The ending was massively anticlimactic though.
Eight seasons of build up and it all ends with Arya jumping out of the shadows like it's Assassins Creed, and then she does the Far Cry 3 switcharoo.
I mean, Jon Snow got brought back from the dead for what purpose... to scream impotently at an undead dragon?

The worst thing is that the media is lapping this lolrandumb ending up, because "they're so brave letting the girl win for a change".
*sigh* Arya was one of my favourite character because she was the underdog. Then they turned her into a ninja that can survive getting stabbed several times in the gut

What I hoped would've happened is that Arya does what she did but instead of outright killing the NK the dagger to the gut only badly wounds him, maybe it disrupts his control of the wrights and they all fall down.
Maybe he snaps Arya's neck like a carrot, then Jon runs in and becomes enraged and charges the NK and his white walkers.
As that fight carries on Jamie and Brienne, Tormund and the Hound, join him.

Maybe Bran does something actually useful as well.


Did you know the NK's actor is a very experience HEMA enthusiast?
I think it's a bit of a waste of talent to not have him as the NK have some sort of epic sword fight with the heros?

I whipped this up in five minutes in paint.net, so forgive the lazy quality

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Oh, and have a chuckle at this edit of the opening charge

[scriver]

Your image doesn't work, unfortunately.

[Sime]

These last two seasons are so  badly conceived that George Martin should write them off in his next book as  Melisandre having a bad dream.

[Jopax]

Best part so far was reading a FB comment thread of a gaggle of nerds nerdraging about the utter dumfuckery involved in the battle and how despite having multiple very expirienced combatants they managed to fuck up every single tactical decision relating to the battle.

[Xantalos]

Best part so far was reading a FB comment thread of a gaggle of nerds nerdraging about the utter dumfuckery involved in the battle and how despite having multiple very expirienced combatants they managed to fuck up every single tactical decision relating to the battle.

Yeah, even a non-tactically inclined scrub like myself can see that there were some serious issues with how they managed this (not even going into the strategic fuckup of how it's Dany's fault that this whole thing where the WW broke past the Wall  even happened in the first place). Dat charge though.

Oh, also:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What the fuck was Bran doing the entire battle? Dude went and warged into a bunch of Ravens at the start and then nothing ever came of that. Was he using his Three-Eyed Raven powers to watch Avengers Endgame or something?

[Kot]

Oh, also:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

What the fuck was Bran doing the entire battle? Dude went and warged into a bunch of Ravens at the start and then nothing ever came of that. Was he using his Three-Eyed Raven powers to watch Avengers Endgame or something?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

He was warging into a rare Winterfellian size changing ant and crawling up Night King's ass. Though I'm sad he didin't actually weaponize it, imagine Yennefer's teleporting magic raven exploding zombie heads except there's dozens of them. Handwave the fact his ravens don't teleport by wight skulls being soft and rotten, so those explosions are still possible.

[ChairmanPoo]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I suspect the NKs fall is a red herring. As in we'll either get a new NK (Mannis?) Or he wont turn out to be as dead as originally thought. Because there are, what, three episodes left? And if they spend all these episodes on a sidequest like Cersei, ehhh......

[Virtz]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

It's kind of amazing how this made Helm's Deep look like a believable siege in comparison. Not to mention better lit, with somehow less obvious plot shielding (in a setting where nobody but Boromir dies), and with a better ending.

Still not beating the Battle of the Bastards for dumbest fight ever, tho.

[MorleyDev]

Spoiler: @ChairmanPoo (click to show/hide)

Can't help but think you're giving the writers too much credit there, but I'll be the first to admit the handling of the Arya gut stabbing made me cynical. I've long since stopped expecting them to be clever about things.

Although GRRM has quoted William Faulkner before in saying the only thing worth writing about is the human heart in conflict with itself. The show has been lacking that and boiled things down to 'da good guyz v dem evil ice zombeez', whilst Cersei and co actually has opportunity for the more grounded conflict. Even if Cersei has just become 'how to be an evil queen 101'.

ASOIAF is supposed to be about the characters after all, the Prophecy and Dragons and Ice Sidhe and Tits were window dressing around that solid core. The show could reclaim that core for the last few episodes if it can put down the magic stuff that they clearly have no idea how to actually make interesting.

Not holding my breath though, but again see aforementioned cynicism.

To be honest I kinda suspect struggling with making that side of it stay interesting as it comes to a head in the books is part of what's delaying the Winds of Winter in the first place, and GRRM is a far better writer than the show writers.

[ChairmanPoo]

I kinda suspect that what's delaying the Winds of Winter is a noncompete clause with the show and that the book has been sitting for years in a safebox

[TD1]

If that's Martin's excuse, then what's Rothfuss'?

[Kot]

Spoiler: Ice zombies ree (click to show/hide)

I actually think removing the "main" fantasy plot (can even retain stuff like minor magic and dragons, I guess, because they let otherwise irrelevant power to actually compete) is great, but the problem is that there is no good plot other than it. All interesting characters got killed off (Stannis, Ramsay, Tyrells, Dorne (though that one was never really interesting in the show), etc.) and what is left is WHITE YASS QUEEN SLAY against BLACK YASS QUEEN SLAY. There is still some presumed in-fighting in the WHITE YASS QUEEN SLAY camp, but considering they essentially got nothing except dragons, which are loyal to the WHITE YASS QUEEN SLAY and her fuck boy, which I guess could go against her, but he's not really that much of an interesting character since long time. The actual "anchor" characters that gave them depth are either dead (Jorah, Edd, Cersei's children) or seemingly irrelevant due to not having any real power (Jaimie, Tyrion, Sam). I don't know, maybe there could be an interesting plot still made out of it, but I doubt it. I just feel like that too many actually interesting characters got lost along the way due to the White Walkers plot, which turned out to be a disappointment, and now that they have to come back to it they don't really have anyone to do so with.
Also I am certainly biased because my favorite "creepy" tragic friendzoner died, my favorite pessimist died, my favorite mastermind super-brain died (to the YASS GIRL SLAY dagger ex-machina extraordinaire no less), my favorite actually competent and interesting king died (and probably tons of other favorite characters died that I don't have time to recall right now), and in general what is left seems either too obvious or too overdone.

[TD1]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I suspect the NKs fall is a red herring. As in we'll either get a new NK (Mannis?) Or he wont turn out to be as dead as originally thought. Because there are, what, three episodes left? And if they spend all these episodes on a sidequest like Cersei, ehhh......

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Yea, I doubt you're right. Look at this trailer for the next episode.

The concluding "we'll rip her out, root and stem" seems to more than imply the direction this is going.

[Loud Whispers]

I've nothing much more to say that you haven't already said Kot, I've just been following GoT through my friends, shitposting and autistic reviews, keeping up with the plot points and betting on whether GRRM will survive to see the finale. I've tried to get back into the new season but to my surprise, I saw nothing of note in the new season. Nothing great, nothing terrible, just a series of D&D trademark "moments" strung together in scenes that are supposed to elicit emotions.
I look at this now and realise I am not watching game of thrones, I am watching a young adult novel TV adaption. I don't even mean that in a negative way, as I think the Y/A novel adaptation genre deserves more respect as a curiously substantial piece of human culture, but by the gods it was not what I eagerly awaited every week so many years ago. It hit me that looking at the characters I've spent so much time on, I felt absolutely nothing.
No fear, joy, catharsis or intrigue, not even disappointment or frustration. Just nothing. I had more emotional investment  for Ian Glen's character in the Resident Evil series than in the GoT finale. One of my closest friends - who I spent years having such joyous and drunken arguments over the quality of GoT, even concurred after all these years that there was nothing to talk about. It's a competent execution of a terminally ill patient, and one day I will marathon it whilst copiously drunk. The show deserves as much honour as that