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[Max™]

Well I unexpectedly bumped into one of the GoT actresses today, it just so happens to have been the greatest

Outwardly I was calm, collected, inwardly I was HYPE incarnate

I don't watch the show, but she's one of my favorites from the ChrysWatchesGoT stuff.

[Kot]

Spoiler: HUGE SPOILER (click to show/hide)

LOOK WHO HAS ROWED BACK TO WESTEROS.

[Loud Whispers]

Gendry must be swole as fuck with all that rowing

[Max™]

Aight folks, stay off the internet because apparently there are legit spoilers out there, just letting you know.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

God I hope it's the Miroslavs.

[Kot]

The filming locations are literally besieged. People go on top of each other to see what is going on.

[Loud Whispers]

After all this time, I finally figured out why the Battle of the Bastards had the giant corpse wall. Just listened to an interview of D&D and they said they were running really over budget trying to do the whole battle like Agincourt, so half way through they decided to conclude the battle in the manner of the battle of Cannae. They could afford the infantry maneuvres, but the fourth component, the cavalry component would have cost too much money - so they just put a wall of corpses as the 4th component, hence why the corpses just *appear* in the battle despite the Snow army having had to have crossed it in order to reach the battle zone.
Budgeting

[Azzuro]

I thought the corpse wall WAS the Snow army, after meeting the Boltons. Though it's silly how so many of them died only on that side so quickly. But the claustrophobic sequence was great filmwork.

[Loud Whispers]

"The literary concept of illicit love, referred to as 'amer oar amours', and the idealised relationship between the lady and her knight are here juxtaposed with harsh reality, which for the woman means deception, dishonour, her ruin and that of her children. It is impossible to keep such liaisons secret, despite the emphasis in courtly literature on bien celer (concealment) and it is politically disastrous if her children are thought to be illegitimate. Interestingly, it is Christine, rather than the male authors under investigation, who mentions the problem of illegitimacy. As we shall see later, this is an anxiety which lurks behind the presentation of adulterous queens in romance, yet it is rarely voiced in their male-athored texts, and is indeed avoided by making these queens apparently barren.
     In particular, Christine stresses the pain and dangers of love, which she considers to be 'par especial du couste des dames' (especially serious for women). Not only is it a sin against the sacrament of marriage, but the notion of the 'chevalier servant', whose prowess increases under the influence of the lady's love, a literary motif sometimes called the chivalry topos, is shown to be advantageous only to the man. For his reputation is enhanced, yet her influence goes unrewarded if it remains secret, and when the love is discovered, she is the one to be dishonoured. Through clever punning on the notion of 'service' Christine demonstrates how the lady who thought she was being served by her knight becomes subservient to her courtiers and confidantes who could reveal her shameful secret at any moment. Even the adultery of a husband is no excuse for such dalliances; weaving, sewing and time spent with the children are recommended as alternatives to taking a lover, which can only lead to the lady's downfall.
  To those believing that courtly literature was written for and commissioned by ladies who enjoyed seeing themselves worshipped by their besotted male lovers, Christine's view of 'courtly love' may come as a surprise. While some female readers no doubt did take pleasure in the apparently flattering portraits of courtly ladies, Christine and some of her contemporaries clearly viewed such literature as potentially dangerous and misleading, for when read by young, impressionable females it gave them a false sense of security and superiority over their suitors. Christine's experience of court life enables her to point out the discrepancy betweem fiction and reality, and to reveal the seductive nature of courtly literature,'
-Queens and Queenship in Medieval Europe, the image of the Queen in Old French Literature, Karen Pratt.

You had one job Cersei
I'll be intrigued to see what is made book canon from the show canon in regards to Cersei's season ending political moves

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Particularly in the symbolism of her having her entire arc being she prizes family and the safety of her kids over all else. However, upon losing Tommen to Margaery, she reassigns the Mountainstein Monster to rape/torture the shame nun jailor instead of babysitting her puppet King, signalling that she had abandoned all previous values in favour of seizing power herself to inflict terrible vengeance upon all of her enemies.

Also I'm reminded of poor naive Sansa when in the capital, who was yet to learn that the Knights in shining armour only shine because they want you to see

[Loud Whispers]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

It's that time of year again, git hype etc etc etc muh dragons let's do this

LW guide to S7 AGOT:

[1] Take a shot every time they whip their tits out if you want to enter an early grave.
[2] Take a shot every time one of the "good guys" is immolating the cgi budget while they play the sacharine theme of stock splendour and wonder.
[3] Take a shot every time Cersei and Littlefinger are being unnecessarily menacing while they play the ominous Lord of Light theme over them smirking.
[4] When characters emphasize that the people around them are mad, incestuous, eunuchs or afflicted with plague, drink water to rejuvenate yourself with 2subtl4u end season exposition
[5] Drinking a hearty mug tea or coffee is permissible if the show spends valuable time on esoteric eunuch sex.
[6] Chant ice ice baby every time the Night King looks cool, in order to keep morale icy fresh. Then have a gin and tonic of course
[7] Have a biscuit every time Sansa gets illegally or unnecessarily fucked over by her siblings for no reason. I like biscuits
[8] Appreciate a jaffa cake every time Tormund and Brienne reenact the bear and the maiden fair for tumblr shipping
[9] Enjoy an apple when a 'what a tweest' moment occurs wherein you think people are gonna get killed but then they all enjoy jolly friendship instead
[10] There are no penalties or rewards for noticing every main character is now wearing black, because they're all probably wearing black and there's no fun in that
[11] Eat a frankfurter every time Theon embarrasses himself and his character goes nowhere
[12] I reckon Arya is going to continue to be the anti-Theon, doing things that make her character stand out as lethal-cool but not really go anywhere. If this is a case, eat some mussels
[13] Enjoy a broccoli or rasher with bread and cheese of choice every time Danaerys with her unsullied lockstep legions, Dothraki screamer hordes, the entire Ironborn Navy (+her own navy), 3 weapons of mass destruction, the golden company's 10,000, additional Essosi mercenaries, the sand snek bad pussy patrol and the fully mobilized (and untapped) manpower of the entire Dornish and Reach forces, a full court of two continents' worths of the most skilled civil advisors, strategists and military officers, the prestige of a dynasty several thousand years old and a spy network set up within her rivals' entire nation - manages to lose to an alcoholic single mother who reigns over a single city she just set on fire, bolstered by a single realm that has lost most of its men in frontline engagements in three major battles (already cutting into its reserves), a realm whose only notable feature was its gold (and they depleted their gold stores). And they're heavily in debt to a hostile Iron Bank. Also tfw we will probably never see Dany's original bloodriders ever again :[
[14] Eat a single mint every time stark-direwolf interactions are cut off by cgi budget
[15] Eat a celery every time characters forget their concern for family, reputation or law they spent the entirety of the 1-3 seasons fighting and bleeding over
[16] One scoop icecream (vanilla obv) every time Jon Snow SAAAAAAAAAAAVES THE WOOOOORLD, one satay or shish-kebab (with red onion & red pepper) every time Danaerys SAAAAAAAAVES THE WOOOORLD. Also if they bone (n u no it), then you must eat kebabcream
[17] If they keep the horse-surfing scene in, commit sudoku to atone for witnessing this dishonourable display. You must complete a game of sudoku
[18] When a character or army teleports, leave the room and return to remind yourself of euclidean geometries. Also to keep blood flowing to your legs, smhtbhfam sitting still for an hour is bad for you
[19] Sing "hello darkness my old friend" every time Jorah gets outshined by a younger, more useful lad. It never gets old, but he does
[20] Meditate on the goodness that is possible in this world for every moment where a main character is "killed" in a cliffhanger but is later revealed to be ok. This is every scene of all seasons so by the end of this you should be an enlightened paragon of virtue who can move bullets with your mind

[TD1]

That, friends, is the LW challenge. It ranks alongside the Blue Whale challenge in terms of danger to health.

[Loud Whispers]

That, friends, is the LW challenge. It ranks alongside the Blue Whale challenge in terms of danger to health.

Tbh I regret not putting a penalty of death if the show included cameos from pop stars. Didn't expect cameos from pop stars.
All in all a non-spoilery summary of the episode:

*Starts off good. Lots of stuff actually happens, plot actually moves forward at a good pace. Most of the characters spend their time talking about strategizing for their respective wars, the war for Summer and the War for the Throne. Bear with the exposition, as painful as it may be, I expect the exposition to drop considerably once the show writers expect new-watchers will have picked up what the hell is going on.
*Middle slows down, not a lot of plot relevant stuff, what you get instead are retreads and reflections upon the past seasons and the consequences of the major characters' actions to the background characters of the show. Despite that, it's the best part of the episode
*Ends really shit unless you have a D&D tier obsession for worst queen

Spoiler: Spoilery summary of episode (click to show/hide)

Arya is doing stuff useful. It's not the Jaqen Hagendars plotline but it's useful, and it's certainly never too late to damage control her plot. To that end, hey she's doing something, and where Arya's plotline fell off the cliff, from the ashes we got Arya revenge spree: II: Lone Wolf

Samwell Tarly learns nothing useful beyond information that was already well-known, that Dragonstone is made out of... Dragon stones. We get a montage of him becoming an initiate maester that revolves around cleaning shit and serving shit. We do get a look into the Oldtown leper colony (?) which the Citadel runs apparently, wherein we get the scaly outline of Jorah the Leper.

Up in the North, the Lords argue whether universal conscription is a bad idea when they're facing the armies of the dead. Arguments in favour of universal conscription: Fuck maintaining our farm estates, no one needs food. Arguments against: Fuck sending granddaughters to war. Arguments made by Sansa: No one cares, because she gets needlessly fucked over by her siblings, after needlessly trying to fuck over her sibling. Ayy lmao, and Littlefinger being creepy again, gotta remind the audience of his importance last season. Just kill Littlefinger, they fucked up his story beyond salvaging.

Cersei subtly hints that she and Jaime should fuck to establish a dynasty for a 1000 years, going full Targaeryan. Cersei ignores that she removed Tommen's bodyguard. Cersei ignores that there still remain Lannisters who count. Euron subtly hints that he and Cersei should fuck to establish a dynasty for a 1000 years, things get awkward, but luckily the Mountainstein monster defuses the situation with diplomatic tact. You'd think he'd dress better for a wedding proposal, but Euron shows up in tattered rags smelling of fish in a Queen's Court looking for the Queen's hand in marriage. Banter ayyyy lmao

Sam's scenes begin with complete shit, and I'm not referencing the show, it's actually just complete shit - loads of shit, serving food, serving shit that looks like food, cleaning bedpans and stacking books, generally very menial labours which Sam struggles with. Sam needs to access an occult library, which the maesters won't let him into since they don't believe in WW, but then Sam discovers a cloak of invisibility and breaks into the secret library to find the books he needs.

We then get Ed Sheeran's cameo. Arya considers murdering Ed Sheeran, but thinks his songs are ok and considers otherwise, realizing that maybe murdering all Lannister soldiers is bad because Lannister soldiers are people too.

Easily the dankest scene in this episode is when the Brotherhood without Banners and the Hound ride through the blizzard, stumbling upon a decrepit farm estate which they reside in for shelter against the cold. The Hound's dialogue reveals that he knows this estate, it is the one whose father and daughter he left for dead after fleeing the battle of blackwater. Sure enough they go inside, and the Hound looks at the two dead bodies clutched in each other's arms, as the BWOB speculate they were starving to death and decided to commit suicide together. The Hound shows emotion :>

And hey, looks like a Stark reunification of the family is within sight

Unnecessary nitpick: In the beginning they go on about how they're not serving Dornish red, they're serving Arbour Gold. Then they pour red lol

Overall, I found this episode is a great deal stronger than all the episodes of last season. The show has definitely benefited from losing most of the previous season's cast, as now there is a much tighter plot focus on what boils down to 2 plotlines: Enemy of the South, and Enemy of the North, and all the "good guys" versus those enemies. It isn't asoif but it is agot, and a game of walking dead is watchable too

[Kot]

Unnecessary nitpick: In the beginning they go on about how they're not serving Dornish red, they're serving Arbour Gold. Then they pour red lol

Arya doesn't know shit about wine, which is evidenced by the Lannister scene. She is just saying first wine that comes to her mind, and Freys are too poor ass to even know how that looks and tastes.

[Loud Whispers]

Unnecessary nitpick: In the beginning they go on about how they're not serving Dornish red, they're serving Arbour Gold. Then they pour red lol

Arya doesn't know shit about wine, which is evidenced by the Lannister scene. She is just saying first wine that comes to her mind, and Freys are too poor ass to even know how that looks and tastes.

All the bloody Freys and none of them can tell the difference between red or white whine? This aint the difference between rare vintages this is just basic colour. And lmao he calls Dornish reds horse piss. DORNISH REDS. Dornish Reds are the yardstick to which all other reds are compared to in show. Dorne and the Arbor are literally the two birthplaces and only places where permanent wineyards are possible, with the oldest and richest winemaking traidtions. "Oh hey guys don't be drinking that French wine horse piss." Also lol the Freys aren't poor they're one of the wealthiest houses in the Riverlands, fielding their own large army and exacting their toll to all travelers wishing to pass through their control over the Trident's passing. Sure maybe after the civil war they had spilled their coffers, but their whole issue is that they're an ignoble house whose river toll money has risen them to see eye to eye with the aristocratic Tullies, and they don't like that very much. MUH LORE

WHAT IS HAPPEN TO MUH LORE

Also I dunno if Arya is feigning ignorance in the Lannister scene. She was a professional wine pourer for Tywin
But in all seriousness she's of courtly background and assassin background. On two accounts, it'd be pretty damn surprising if she didn't know the difference between red and white whine, if she knew the difference between one colourless poison to the next - of course she'd know the difference between the most ubiquitous poison of them all!

0/10 used wrong coloured grape juice, show ruined, never watch again

[Kot]

I mean, as for Freys, consider that none of them noticed Walder was being nice (although, this raises the point that even if they noticed the wine was off, they wouldn't really dare to complain). Also, as far as show is concerned, Freys are powerful together, but each one of them alone is basically a glorified peasant.
As for Arya, professional wine pourer seems to be pouring whatever they got to pour, she may know the names, but in reality, she knows nothing.

[Loud Whispers]

I mean, as for Freys, consider that none of them noticed Walder was being nice (although, this raises the point that even if they noticed the wine was off, they wouldn't really dare to complain). Also, as far as show is concerned, Freys are powerful together, but each one of them alone is basically a glorified peasant.
As for Arya, professional wine pourer seems to be pouring whatever they got to pour, she may know the names, but in reality, she knows nothing.

Yeah I'm not considering that because it's complete shit, considering shit because more shit was unconsidered just compounds the shit
Considering that most of the sons were waiting for Walder to die, and moreover were lining up the daggers behind their brothers' backs in order to be the one who inherits everything - yeah it is suspicious. All of the Freys get a sudden emergency message to gather. ALL OF THEM. IN ONE PLACE. ABANDON THEIR POSTS WHEN THE RIVERLANDS IS IN REBELLION, TO GATHER IN ONE PLACE.
Keeping in mind the Freys are all rather suspicious given that they all try killing each other on a regular basis. As far as the show is concerned, they are all individually rather unique actually, I think we are forgetting Rob's squires already. "Glorified peasant" Hahahaha, oh how the show forgot its own fucking story so quickly. So you get all these paranoid people told to withdraw from their posts when the Riverlands is in rebellion, bandits are rampaging, winter is coming, all to gather in one place. And amidst all that, Walder Frey is happy. The last time he was happy it was the Red Wedding. Then he toasts them fine Arbor Gold, and all the attendants pour RED WINE.
Now, if I was a Frey, I'd assume Walder is trying to murder us all. Least of all when he visibly drinks nothing, when Walder is usually the first to drink and drinks the most. Fuck complaining, wouldn't need to suspect Walder of being someone else to notice that Walder is not acting like Walder and your life is imperiled.

There's no story excuse for why they're pouring red wine when they're talking about white, the directors just forgot the difference