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Author Topic: I have no idea what's going on.....  (Read 2290 times)

sjm9876

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I have no idea what's going on.....
« on: April 18, 2013, 01:14:31 pm »

Well i feel weird posting here, but i'm not entirely sure what else to do, so here goes.

me and my girlfriend broke up on good terms.
then she ignored me completely for 2 months.
now she's asked one of my best mates to her prom, which i only know about because he told me. i said he could go ahead, but as the thread title suggests, i have no idea what the hell's going on.
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My dreams are not unlike yours - they long for the safety, and break like a glass chandelier.
But there's laughter and oh there is love, just past the edge of our fears.
And there's chaos when push comes to shove, but it's music to my ears.

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Ameablable

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Re: I have no idea what's going on.....
« Reply #1 on: April 18, 2013, 01:29:04 pm »

seems to me like it was good terms only from your point of view. (thats at least all i can come up with given the information you gave us)
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sjm9876

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Re: I have no idea what's going on.....
« Reply #2 on: April 18, 2013, 01:30:25 pm »

she broke up with me claiming, i think, that she was stressed etc...... followed by let's still be friends. And then ignoring me.
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My dreams are not unlike yours - they long for the safety, and break like a glass chandelier.
But there's laughter and oh there is love, just past the edge of our fears.
And there's chaos when push comes to shove, but it's music to my ears.

Sigtext

Ameablable

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Re: I have no idea what's going on.....
« Reply #3 on: April 18, 2013, 01:34:14 pm »

ouch.

seems to me like she wanted to break it off but then didnt want to fall back for you(or vice versa) so she ignored you.

because being "stressed" is a really poor excuse to break up with someone.

sorry to hear that man.
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sjm9876

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Re: I have no idea what's going on.....
« Reply #4 on: April 18, 2013, 02:05:35 pm »

yeah, that's kinda what i suspected but cheers anyway.
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My dreams are not unlike yours - they long for the safety, and break like a glass chandelier.
But there's laughter and oh there is love, just past the edge of our fears.
And there's chaos when push comes to shove, but it's music to my ears.

Sigtext

Lectorog

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Re: I have no idea what's going on.....
« Reply #5 on: April 18, 2013, 04:46:06 pm »

In my experience, "be friends" usually means that they don't care about you; they do not, in fact, want to be friends. I could be wrong for this - that's just my experience.

To me, it seems that she simply doesn't care about you anymore.

I claim no authority on these matters.
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Ameablable

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Re: I have no idea what's going on.....
« Reply #6 on: April 18, 2013, 04:54:31 pm »

In my experience, "be friends" usually means that they don't care about you; they do not, in fact, want to be friends. I could be wrong for this - that's just my experience.

To me, it seems that she simply doesn't care about you anymore.

I claim no authority on these matters.
For the most part yes. That seems to ve true for me too. Although i am still best friends with one of my ex's. Its weird
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Leatra

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Re: I have no idea what's going on.....
« Reply #7 on: April 18, 2013, 07:31:39 pm »

"Let's be friends" kinda means "We are breaking up and I'm soooo over you and I'm totally gonna try to make you jealous at one point." most of the time in my experience.
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GlyphGryph

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Re: I have no idea what's going on.....
« Reply #8 on: April 18, 2013, 07:48:25 pm »

The ones who DO stay your friends almost never say "let's be friends" or feel the need to reassure you that you're still going to be friends. They just do it. If they feel the need to tell you, it's because they're trying to deceive either you or themselves and let's be honest it's probably not going to happen.
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Vector

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Re: I have no idea what's going on.....
« Reply #9 on: April 18, 2013, 11:28:05 pm »

To be honest, that sounds like good terms, but not good terms.  I mean, honestly, nothing says that she's necessarily trying to make you jealous.  People can be actually interested in good friends with no foul play in mind.

Especially if she's giving it two months, and if she was the one who broke it off.


I've said "let's be friends" before but I'm considering stopping.  Usually, folks I break up with are folks I don't want to be friends with, either.
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"The question of the usefulness of poetry arises only in periods of its decline, while in periods of its flowering, no one doubts its total uselessness." - Boris Pasternak

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Sir Finkus

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Re: I have no idea what's going on.....
« Reply #10 on: April 19, 2013, 03:20:15 am »

You were dumped, she fed you a line of BS about being "just friends" to make you (but probably mostly herself) feel better about it, then started dating other people.  What's not to get?

sjm9876

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Re: I have no idea what's going on.....
« Reply #11 on: April 19, 2013, 03:22:41 am »

Firstly, she isn't that kind of person, at least that i know of. Secondly, my mate's just informed me that she made it extremely clear that it wasn't a date.
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My dreams are not unlike yours - they long for the safety, and break like a glass chandelier.
But there's laughter and oh there is love, just past the edge of our fears.
And there's chaos when push comes to shove, but it's music to my ears.

Sigtext

Max White

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Re: I have no idea what's going on.....
« Reply #12 on: April 19, 2013, 03:42:14 am »

Oh when is she ever that kind of girl? She is never that kind of girl! That kind of girl doesn't even exist... Except to third party observers without rose tinted lenses super glued to their eyestalks.

Sir Finkus

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Re: I have no idea what's going on.....
« Reply #13 on: April 19, 2013, 04:37:15 am »

Firstly, she isn't that kind of person, at least that i know of. Secondly, my mate's just informed me that she made it extremely clear that it wasn't a date.
What, she isn't the kind of girl that isn't interested in a relationship with you? (double negatives ftw)
"Let's just be friends" is a way of letting you down easy.  There's a reason it's a cliche. Unfortunately, it sometimes comes across as a little ambiguous.

Whether she's dating your friend or not is irrelevant.  It sounds like she's moved on, so you really can't judge her for going out with/dating other guys since she told you that she wasn't interested in you romantically any more.
« Last Edit: April 19, 2013, 04:39:54 am by Sir Finkus »
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Trapezohedron

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Re: I have no idea what's going on.....
« Reply #14 on: April 19, 2013, 05:02:58 am »

In my experience, "Let's (still) be friends!" is a line uttered by many people in order to soften the blow. Consider for a moment, she broke up with you. You had no contact with her for 2 months whatsoever. And then she goes on a not-date with someone else.

But if you're over her, the not-date is irrelevant. It's either she's moved on in all aspects, including your existence, or she's very guilty to have said "I'm breaking up with you". Hence the no-contact, full-on ignoring. The ignoring isn't helping her case, in any way.
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Thank you for all the fish. It was a good run.
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