Turn One Hundred and FourteenThe Temple of Sef...Wind Step, and run up and trip the dude before he gets away.
Quite gratuitously turning invisible, Tackov chases after the fleeing tax collector,
…catches up with him, and
…trips him to the floor. Cursing, the tax collector gets up and flees once more, whereupon Tackov
…trips him up again. Now certain that he hadn’t just tripped on his own feet the first time, the tax collector checks his shoelaces, and flees again.
…Not being much less fit than the tax collector, Tackov again keeps up, and trips the running eejit once more to the ground.
Tackov starts to giggle, and the tax collector starts to worry, and gets up again, running as fast as he can away from the phantom fiend,
…and smack into the dungeon wall. He holds his crumpled nose and scrambles around on his backside, backing away from the invisible tripper, cringing in fear and dismay.
”Help! Help! Who’s there?! Who hinders my tax collection thus?!”Before he answers, Tackov notes that he is on the other side of the large room from where he started, and that he is still bleeding quite heavily from the guts, and that the invisible blood seeping out and dripping on the floor is probably quite disturbing and, if you think about it too much, probably not invisible for long after it’s dripped, or is it, since technically you could argue it is still part of the invisible wizard? Kind of?
Attempt to use corpse glue to assemble a spiderlike construct from phantom tax collector parts. Notably limbs. Grasping, grasping limbs.
With her colleagues either in holes, turning invisible, or keeling over in shame – and her enemies all in pieces or fleeing- ooooh, wait! Pieces! Sylvanna has a rather good idea, and gets a big pot of stinky glue out of a pocket somewhere, drags all the dead tax collectors into a heap, sits down cross-legged, and gets to work tearing and sticking and ripping and smearing and muttering.
…It’s a slightly rushed job, in her excitement to be playing with severed limbs again after so many days away from her hobby, but as she stands up and steps back she really is rather pleased.
“Arise, possibly-phantom tax collector golem!”
She thinks she might possibly have to shorten the name to be able to give it more effective commands, but it does at least get to its feet. All six of its feet.
Sylvanna admires its arms. Its grasping, grasping, grasping arms.
The head looks blankly at her.
Sylvanna looks excitedly back.
Possibly-phantom tax collector golem acquired! Sylvanna the Felonious:
Name to be confirmed – Eric?Name: Sylvanna the Felonious’ Possibly-phantom Tax Collector Golem]
Class: 12 Part Possibly-phantom Tax Collector Golem
Health: [HP: 110/110]Abilities: One Head,
Three Arms,
Six Legs There were 4 available corpses. I didn’t restrict to severed body parts only this time, I might in future.
I counted it as a “trained” roll, so used (2d6)/2 rather than 1d6. This gave 4, so I multiplied 4-1 by the number of corpses available to give the total number of limbs allowed (I am disappointed it wasn’t 6, which I think would have generated a kind of cubic tax collector golem with heads on every side and… stuff).
I then generated the body parts used (the chances would vary if you emphasised different body parts: you wanted limbs) as:
6=head (gives a free command word)
2-5=limb, clockwise from left arm (1 attack per arm) (leg effects depend on how many)
1=torso (+25HP)
Each body part gives +5HP.
For each corpse I rolled three times and came up with: Torso, leg, leg; arm, leg, leg; leg, arm, torso; head, leg, arm.
Maybe... don't try to reattach a foot with an axe? Put it away for a few moments, then, after composing myself and getting into a medical state of mind, reattach all of these leg bits.
So, everyone else is busy at things other than helping Gervedder out of his corpse and blood-filled hole, so he decides to get on with not chopping any more body parts off with a flaming axe and instead actually fixing himself.
…Composing himself doesn’t seem to do much good, so he just gets out a needle and thread and gets to work,
…successfully sewing his one foot on, and
…equally successfully sewing his severed leg and foot onto the… bother. Onto the non-severed leg.
He stands up, quite pleased with himself, and immediately falls over sideways, being quite unbalanced now that one leg is half a leg shorter than it used to be and the other is half a leg longer than it once was. And that his right foot is on the left, and the left foot on the right.
Extra Long Leg Acquired: Gervedder Vietzo:
Extra Long Left Leg!Elsewhere…Buy the armor offered at a discounted price for completing the man's task, and equip it.
"Why yes, I do notice that I have a pitchfork in my head! Now, can I collect the rewards you offered me?"”Yes, my good sir,” replies the shop keeper, evidently impressed at Whiz’s new head-decoration.
Armour Acquired: Whiz the Shiny Mummy:
Steel Helmet,
Steel BreastplateEngage in victory dance, then go find that guy who was being harassed. In my barrel of course.
Flawless Victory! gloats Bukkar, getting into his barrel with his face still on fire. Dragged behind Roñardo – travelling in style, like a flawless victor should – he soon catches up with Whiz in the armour shop.
Harassed man! Nice pitchfork!"Thanks, O Vomiter. Nice… burning face?"((Uh... so Gervedder's no longer in any immediate trouble, right? Lost all the blood he's gonna lose?))
Yes, he’ll be okay blood-wise. Which for some reason reminds me I have another game I should update. Bother.
Mission: Retrieve the Magical Mandolin Part
Map for IronyOwl and Tackov and Gervedder (they are by the red cross):
There is a new map, but I can’t upload it right now, but basically a short corridor about 25 feet long goes off from that door towards the left.
Current Players:Name: Tackov Cedtry
Class: Level 4 Gusty Wind Mage
Status: +1 missile defence. +1 to future gut damage. -1 to melee. +1 left leg defence. -1 to feet. INVISIBLE till start of next turn.
Health: [HP: 25/65] |
Severed Guts! |
Magical Saucepan Leg |
Severed Foot! |
Pierced Guts!Abilities: Airfist I,
Magical Typhoon I,
Wind Blast I,
Wind Blast II,
Wind Step I,
Squishy,
Sissy Slap FightInventory: Minor Mana Potion x1,
Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x1,
Mouldy Wizard Hat, You Bastard the Mangy Donkey,
Cloak of Camouflage, 524 Green Farthings, 206 Yuros,
Solid Gold Lingerie x 2, a squashed and severed foot (own), a massive angry boulder stalker,
Burny-Vomity-Nakedy Wand;
Robe of Improved Magic,
Holy Incendiary Grenade of Sef.
Name: Whiz
Class: Level 4 Whiznificent Whiz Wiz(ard)
Status: +1 to lower leg, groin, head and breast defence. -1 to social interaction except with rats. +1 to balancing. +1 to strength. Last in initiative rolls.
Health: [HP: 70/90] |
Giant Rat’s Tail! Mummy!Abilities: Competent Crossbow User,
Red Carpet,
Shield I,
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast II,
Obviously a Powerful Wizard,
It’ll Make You Blind!Inventory: Crossbow x2, Unlimited Quiver,
Raider’s Dress of Shin Protection, 11 Yuros,
Middling Mana Potion x1, Cutlass, Three daggers,
Minor Health Potion x1, +1 Bolt of Accuracy x4, +1 Bolt of Burning x3, +1 Bolt of Paralysis x1,
Carrying Serf x0 (not currently mounted), 0 Green Farthings,
Steel Groinplate,
Steel Helmet,
Steel Breastplate.
Name: Gervedder Vietzo
Class: Level 4 Damaged Opportunistic Messenger
Status: +1 to gut and chest defence. +1 defence if moves. +1 to hit with axe (flaming). In a hole!
Health: [HP: 22/90] Extra Long Left Leg!Abilities: Gauntlet,
Sprint of Fury,
Just a Brainflesh Wound,
Nimble Feet,
This Messenger Delivers,
Important,
Stop For DirectionsInventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver, 0 bandages, 0 Yuros,
Iron Cuirass, Crossbow, Gerald the Mule, Two weeks rations and a bedroll,
Apprentice Herbalist's Manual,
Herbalist's Containers x5, Large Cork x1,
Masterwork Flaming Axe of Death.
Name: Lady Foxglove Vainglorious the III
Class: Level 4 Glamorous Ravenhaired Crusader
Status: +1 to head, chest and groinbone defence. Dodges fist missile hit. -1 to initiative and balancing.
Health: [HP: 80/90] |
Broken HeadAbilities: Nonchalant Dodge,
Ravena’s Ear,
Silent as a Raven’s Wing,
Opportunistic,
Honeyed Tongue,
Vain,
Self-RelianceInventory: The Raven's Wingblade,
Minor Health Potion x1, Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Masterwork Helm,
Flying Warsquid, Sword,
Mercenary Squidrider Uniform,
Masterwork Poledancing Pole,
chainmail lingerie, 34 Yuros, 10 bandages, Decent provisions (day) x4, Live eel x649, Red dragon-scale vest,
Curse Grenade of the Slimy Eel.
Name: Bukkar Crangrom
Class: Level 4 Sprayin' Ragin' Mage
Status: Naked! Burning face!Health: [HP: 60/90] |
The Vomiting! |
Broken Guts |
Blessed By the Godses |
Stony Facelegthing |
The Burning!Abilities: Whirlwind Rage I,
Rage Flight,
Rage Lazors I,
Ass of the Flaming Foot I,
Lightning Fist I,
Always Looking For a Fight,
Always HungoverInventory: Crossbow, 0 Green Farthings,
Large Sealed Bling Barrel, Large Cork x1, pick.
Name: Sylvanna the Felonious
Class: Level 4 Alchemical Flesh Mechanic
Status:Health: [HP: 90/90]Abilities: Construct Control I,
Craft Corpse Glue I,
Craft Alchemical Corpse Glue I,
Corpse Assimilation ,
Crawly HandsInventory: A dead kobold, clothes,
Buckler of Sharp Death, 0x Glue,
Hat of Command.
Name: Rattlefang’s DroneBongo of Vengeances
Class: Level 2 Shamanic Death Tambourine
Health: [HP: 35/35]Abilities: Two Legged Death Tambourine,
Incredibly Sharp Teeth