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Author Topic: Roll to Dungeon Quest - It's not you, it's me.  (Read 195337 times)

Toaster

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.108... updated...
« Reply #1395 on: May 23, 2014, 12:54:35 pm »

"Blimey!  Why are you hugging that slugobeast, Gerdevver?"

Wind Blast the bricks at the slug!
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Xantalos

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.108... updated...
« Reply #1396 on: May 23, 2014, 12:57:38 pm »

Yeah sure, what could go wrong.

Experimental medical procedure go!
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Sig! Onol
Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

IronyOwl

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.108... updated...
« Reply #1397 on: May 23, 2014, 02:12:06 pm »

"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... that doesn't have as many parts as I'd like. Hrm..."

Bladed Buckler Assault Mode, execute sausage-thing-cutting procedure!
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Quote from: Radio Controlled (Discord)
A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

lawastooshort

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.109
« Reply #1398 on: May 24, 2014, 07:20:07 am »

Turn One Hundred and Nine!

The Temple of Sef...

Bladed Buckler Assault Mode, execute sausage-thing-cutting procedure!

Perhaps winning initiative will help Sylvanna get over the disappointment of today's first living foe only having a single body part: ...No, it won't.

Wind Blast the bricks at the slug!

Perhaps Wind Blasting bricks at a monstrous slug will help Tackov get over the disappointment of losing initiative!

...Nope. In fact a brick bounces off the slug's rancid backside and hits the poor mage in the face, seeming to chuckle inwardly as it does so, ...stopping and becoming all serious when Tackov doesn't even notice.

Quote from: slugobeast
Face+Tendrils=Go!

Unaware that his foe is merely two turns away from being squeezed to death, the slug, raised on its rear legs when we saw it last, tendrils at the ready, leans in towards Gervedder's face, waves its slimy tendrils about, ...and sticks them in his own ear!

The repulsive bag of eeek shrieks wildly, flailing its what passes for limbs savagely about in the air as it jumps backwards, freeing Gervedder from its grasp and staggering into the wall behind!

The monstrous slug appears dazed and confused!

Elsewhere…

Experimental medical procedure go!

Yeah sure, what could go wrong.

”Nothing, Senor! Here, you take this potion, and then either the Vomiting, it goes, or... it stays! And possibly nothing else will happen! But fear you not, my honorable patient – this is based on sound carpentry-medicine... Passed down in my family for generations...”

Dr Juan hands Bukkar a small vial of potion, and reaches for his notepad and pen as he observes the strapping young stinky man take the medicine.

To Dr Juan's joy, the results are instant!

Bukkar keels over, being profusely sick on his feet...

...”Oh, Senor! I think... I think you still have the Vomiting!...”

...until his vomiting spree is interrupted by a severe case of face on fire!

”And you seem to have caught the Burning... Hmm, Mi amigo, I think I may have to revise my methods... And fix your barrel.”

Illness Acquired: Bukkar Crangrom: The Burning!

Barrel Fixed: Bukkar Crangrom: Your barrel is repaired!

Spoiler: GM notes (click to show/hide)

Current Players:
Spoiler: Tackov Cedtry, Toaster (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Whiz, Chink (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Monstrous slug (click to show/hide)
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.108... updated...
« Reply #1399 on: May 24, 2014, 08:21:34 am »

"I dare say that is one of the more unpleasant things that has happened to me lately," Gervedder says, lifting his axe.

Begin circling the slug, exploiting its inability to turn properly! Chop at its slimy brain with the axe (if diplomacy fails, that is)!
« Last Edit: May 24, 2014, 02:15:59 pm by Harry Baldman »
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IronyOwl

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.108... updated...
« Reply #1400 on: May 24, 2014, 02:02:48 pm »

"Aw, poor slug! Maybe it just wants to talk!"

Negotiate with dazed slug.
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Quote from: Radio Controlled (Discord)
A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.108... updated...
« Reply #1401 on: May 24, 2014, 02:15:27 pm »

"Aw, poor slug! Maybe it just wants to talk!"

Negotiate with dazed slug.

Hold off on chopping for a bit while diplomacy happens.
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Xantalos

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.109
« Reply #1402 on: May 24, 2014, 04:29:33 pm »

Well, if it works it works! Time to practice my headbutts.

Get in barrel and go find someone to fix Roñardo's severed leg problem.

((Bukkar appears to be a Khorne/Nurgle cultist.))
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Sig! Onol
Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

lawastooshort

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Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.110
« Reply #1403 on: May 26, 2014, 07:37:49 am »

Turn One Hundred and Ten

The Temple of Sef...

Begin circling the slug, exploiting its inability to turn properly! Chop at its slimy brain with the axe (if diplomacy fails, that is)!

Negotiate with dazed slug.

"I dare say that is one of the more unpleasant things that has happened to me lately," Gervedder says, lifting his axe.

"Aw, poor slug! Maybe it just wants to talk! Say, poor little sluggy, would you just like to talk?"

The slug makes a noise like an old man clearing his nose on a rain-swept football pitch.

“No? Or is that sluggish for yes Sylvanna, I'd love to talk, my dear, how about a cup of tea?”

The slug makes a noise like a blocked drain, lurches slightly forwards, and collapses face first onto Sylvanna's feet, where it immediately hacks up several barrels of phlegm and starts being ferociously sick.

Sensing an opening, Gervedder wheels round to come up just behind the vomiting slug, ...smacking it hard in the brain with his axe, setting it on fire.

Elsewhere…

Get in barrel and go find someone to fix Roñardo's severed leg problem.

Well, if it works it works! Time to practice my headbutts.

”No, señor! Not here!”

No, I meant... Never mind. Do you know someone who can fix Roñardo's severed leg problem?

”Si, señor! Did I not say, my very self, that I, Dr Juan, am a renowneded Carpenter-doctor? Si! I fix darling Roñardo's severed leg problem in oak, pine, or veneer. For free, since he has no pesos and no vomiting.”

Spoiler: GM notes (click to show/hide)

Current Players:
Spoiler: Tackov Cedtry, Toaster (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Whiz, Chink (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Monstrous slug (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: May 26, 2014, 07:39:29 am by lawastooshort »
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IronyOwl

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.110
« Reply #1404 on: May 26, 2014, 11:14:19 am »

"I can't tell if it's working!" Sylvanna declared cheerfully, standing ankle-deep in... stuff.

Negotiate further!
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Quote from: Radio Controlled (Discord)
A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.110
« Reply #1405 on: May 26, 2014, 11:44:17 am »

"He's obviously considering some sort of action, so our negotiation must be doing something."

Keep circling Eric and, should he not see reason before my turn comes along, slice him in the brain once again.
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Xantalos

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.110
« Reply #1406 on: May 26, 2014, 01:54:47 pm »

Let's try veneer. Gotta be classy.

Get Roñardo fixed in veneer!
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Sig! Onol
Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

Chink

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.110
« Reply #1407 on: May 26, 2014, 06:38:51 pm »

Deny responsibility for the crime to the vigilantes and run back to the shop of the guy who wanted the mother-in-law dead to collect the reward.
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Toaster

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.110
« Reply #1408 on: May 27, 2014, 01:06:04 pm »

"Avast!"


Wind Blast II the damn thing into the wall if it isn't talked down!
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

lawastooshort

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Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.111
« Reply #1409 on: May 28, 2014, 09:55:32 am »

Turn One Hundred and Eleven

The Temple of Sef...

Negotiate further!

Keep circling Eric and, should he not see reason before my turn comes along, slice him in the brain once again.

Wind Blast II the damn thing into the wall if it isn't talked down!

"I can't tell if it's working!" Sylvanna declares cheerfully, standing ankle-deep in... regurgitated slug mucous.

"He's obviously considering some sort of action, so our negotiation must be doing something."

”Fnng fnnng fnnnnnng gnhhhhhah!”

“Friends?”

”Gna-ffffffffffffffffffffffffffff!”

“Oh. That’s disappointing.”

The monstrous slug rises on its hind legs and darts forward at Sylvanna’s face! Just then Gervedder’s Axe of Flame slices down into the hideous beast’s brain, causing a slight brainscratch and considerable brainfire!

With two separate brainfires, the slug’s time looks up, but being incredibly stupid he doesn’t realise it! Eric the monstrous slug is just about to do terrible slime- or violence-related things to Sylvanna’s face when Tackov ambles to the rescue!

"Avast!" he cries, "Avast!"

He aims his wizardy hands at the slug, and with a flash, the slug gently rolls over!

Sylvanna is saved!

Elsewhere…

Get Roñardo fixed in veneer!

Let's try veneer. Gotta be classy.

”Oh, senor! You know, nothing says classy like a good leg of solid oak! But. We will respect your wishes.”

Hours pass, during which Bukkar falls asleep in the doctor’s waiting room a bit. He is suddenly awoken by the roaring noise of very definite tears of joy!

”Oh, senor!” cries, quite literally, Roñardo, ”Senor! My leg! It lives!”

Roñardo shuffles on his knees to embrace his master, but Dr Juan warns him off.

”Mi amigo Roñardo. This is veneer. Very classy, but almost as flammable. You must take heed, and pay attention. Do not embrace your master! For flames are drawn to him likes moths to… for… a pauper’s… carriage… herring… the…”

Deny responsibility for the crime to the vigilantes and run back to the shop of the guy who wanted the mother-in-law dead to collect the reward.

”Yes it was, yer great murdering bastid! We’ll fecking ave you, yer gert git! Everyone has a little granny inside of them, you know! When you murder a granny, you murder a part of us! Come on lads, let’s get im!”

Whiz begins to run.

The Granny Vigilantes being to run.

A run-off commences!

And shortly finishes, as the vigilantes catch up with Whiz before he can even shuffle fully one score feet away!

Whiz notices, all of a sudden, with the safety of the armour shop more than a hundred feet hence, or thence, that the vigilantes all have pointy farm implements about their person.

Spoiler: GM notes (click to show/hide)

Current Players:
Spoiler: Tackov Cedtry, Toaster (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Whiz, Chink (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Monstrous slug (click to show/hide)
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