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Author Topic: Roll to Dungeon Quest - It's not you, it's me.  (Read 193179 times)

IronyOwl

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.107
« Reply #1380 on: May 20, 2014, 07:34:36 pm »

*pokes head in for the first time since page 1*

Any of you bastards die yet?
Yes! No. Kind of. Harvested for your face and left for dead is not necessarily the same as actually being dead, so it's complicated.
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Quote from: Radio Controlled (Discord)
A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

Dermonster

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.107
« Reply #1381 on: May 20, 2014, 07:35:22 pm »

Well go team kill or something, I'm bored.
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I can do anything I want, as long as I accept the consequences.
"Y'know, my favorite thing about being a hero is that it gives you all kinds of narrative justification to just slay any ol' jerk who gets in the way - Black Mage.
"The bulk of [Derm]'s atrocities seem to stem from him doing things that [Magic] doesn't actually do." - TvTropes
"Dammit Derm!" - You, if I'm doing it right.
Moved to SufficientVelocity / Spacebattles.

Xantalos

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.107
« Reply #1382 on: May 20, 2014, 07:37:06 pm »

I've been trying, but I'm having about as much success as Black Mage from 8-Bit Theatre.

I did lightning vortex punch a dragon's head off at one point.
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Sig! Onol
Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

IronyOwl

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.107
« Reply #1383 on: May 20, 2014, 07:39:18 pm »

I almost killed like three people as a kobold, but felt it would be mean to excessively pursue completing the job.
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Quote from: Radio Controlled (Discord)
A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

Dermonster

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.107
« Reply #1384 on: May 20, 2014, 08:37:43 pm »

Well, send me a PM when someone kicks the bucket then.
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I can do anything I want, as long as I accept the consequences.
"Y'know, my favorite thing about being a hero is that it gives you all kinds of narrative justification to just slay any ol' jerk who gets in the way - Black Mage.
"The bulk of [Derm]'s atrocities seem to stem from him doing things that [Magic] doesn't actually do." - TvTropes
"Dammit Derm!" - You, if I'm doing it right.
Moved to SufficientVelocity / Spacebattles.

lawastooshort

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Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.108
« Reply #1385 on: May 23, 2014, 07:34:15 am »

Turn One Hundred and Eight?

The Temple of Sef...

Examine the room! You never know where there might be hidden treasures.

Assist examination of room! Offer commentary on architecture and possible hiding spots for cool treasure. Express polite approval for frescoes if there are any. And ascertain if there really is or isn't any treasure around here, of course.

Sylvanna shoutily and, controversially, plainly examines the room they are in, a fairly large underground room, and, disappointingly for her, finds nothing of any interest at all, despite Gervedder’s keen assistance, which seems to mostly consist of declaring his approval for a lovely pair of frescoes and the intricate archways above the door frame.

"I believe there really isn’t any treasure around here," he declares, filled with the joy of architectural appreciation. "Except, of course, architectural treasure…"

Also search for loots!

"You mean, except for this!" answers Tackov, "Aha! Hahahah!"

He holds it up to the dim light for closer inspection, and declares his find:

"My word! If I am not wrong, and as a trained mage it is unlikely, I believe I have uncovered one of the legendary Holy Incendiary Grenades of Sef!"

The trained mage places said grenade in his pockets, for later use.

Item Acquired: Tackov Cedtry: Holy Incendiary Grenade of Sef

Open the door leading deeper in afterwards.

Just then, a hat – possibly a Hat, and possibly even a Hat of Command – appears on the head of Sylvanna, as if by a fiendish ghostly and regrettable magical occurrence, and, filled with a sudden authority, she successfully opens a door!

The GM assumes that this door is in fact the door leading deeper into this level of the dungeon, and not the stairs leading further down to the next and, who knows, last level, or penultimate level of the dungeon, and also assumes that her comrades follow her in the following random order: Sylvanna, Lady Foxglove, Gervedder, Tackov.

As they burst through the door, bricks fall, and everybody is covered in dust! And bricks, unfortunately. But not rocks, so.

Sylvanna jumps forward and to safety, but her new best friend is not so lucky! Lady Foxglove dives into the door frame, and smashes her head a bit, and is buried under a pile of bricks. What’s worse – they’re dirty bricks!

Also there’s nothing else of immediate or obvious interest in the room.

Wound Acquired: Lady Foxglove: Broken Head

Wound Acquired: Gervedder Vietzo: Bumped Arm!

Hat Acquired: Sylvanna the Felonious: Hat of Command

Elsewhere…

I don't know if he has been, but I need this barrel patched. I need it to go kill a mountain bandit so I can turn the barrel to adamantine.

Request!

”I see… you are a very sick man, senor. You have no pesos! You cannot pay for this service of patching! But… the friend of my Roñardo is the friend of my friend, as they say back home, and I put forth this offer to you!

Let me cure you… let me attempt my experimental cure for your Vomiting sickness… and in return, I cure your barrel! Si…”


Drink a Minor Health Potion, then run out of the house, back down the street, and buy a helmet/chestplate at the offered rate.

Chugging a Minor Health Potion as he goes, Whiz the Granny Murderer dashes out of the crime scene and runs back down the street, where he suddenly bumps into a strange group of 6 men! They are all hooded in grey cloaks, and carry pitchforks, and Whiz suddenly recognises with horror the logo emblazoned across their chests: he’s run into the local squad of the Granny Murderer Vigilante Association!

”Eh, monsieur…” speaks the leader, ”I hear there’s a been a granny murder around here… you know anything about that, eh? Monsieur? Let me examine that spatter of blood on your bandages… it looks suspiciously like granny blood, from here?”

Suddenly there is a terrifying crescendo of savage hissing, and the murdered granny’s three cats appear behind Whiz.

Spoiler: GM notes (click to show/hide)
Current Players:
Spoiler: Tackov Cedtry, Toaster (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Whiz, Chink (click to show/hide)
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.108... updated...
« Reply #1386 on: May 23, 2014, 08:23:05 am »

"Oh dear. It appears that the architecture is a tad shy around here."

Dig out Foxglove from underneath the pile of bricks. Take a look at the new room!
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Toaster

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.108... updated...
« Reply #1387 on: May 23, 2014, 08:34:34 am »

((Yay!))

Tackov sighed.  Those goofballs, always getting into trouble...

"No, no- get the ones off the top first!  You're doing it wrong!

If the crew can't get Foxglove out, Wind Blast I the bricks away!
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

lawastooshort

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.108... updated...
« Reply #1388 on: May 23, 2014, 09:04:05 am »

Dig out Foxglove from underneath the pile of bricks. Take a look at the new room!

After many minutes of valiant scrabbling, Gervedder rescues Lady Foxglove from having a pile of bricks windblasted at her face! She gets up, the tendons in her skull looking decidedly damaged, and dusts herself off as Gervedder looks round the new room.

He looks at the door to the south, and determines it to be a good quality locked wooden door – good quality as in quite tough looking – and is just walking under the archway to the north of the room to examine the eastern door when suddenly a monstrous slug leaps out at him!

In the dim light, the hideous slime-sausage has the decided advantage, and manages to leap directly at Gervedder’s face before the poor messenger can fight back, or even leap out of the way!

The pulsating length of living pus wraps itself around Gervedder, and begins to squeeze!

It’s too dark to tell, but Gervedder is sure a slimy tendril is poking him in the ear.

Wound Acquired: Gervedde Vietzo: Squeezed!

Edit: forgot to put its stats up:
Spoiler: Monstrous slug (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: May 23, 2014, 09:22:00 am by lawastooshort »
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.108... updated...
« Reply #1389 on: May 23, 2014, 09:21:22 am »

"My."

Fetch my axe and peel the creature off my face.
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lawastooshort

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.108... updated...
« Reply #1390 on: May 23, 2014, 09:22:22 am »

"My."

Fetch my axe and peel the creature off my face.

((did you leave your axe anywhere in particular?))
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.108... updated...
« Reply #1391 on: May 23, 2014, 09:32:12 am »

((did you leave your axe anywhere in particular?))

((Within my culottes in all likelihood, since I probably did not use it while digging out Foxglove. In which case it should be within arm's reach.))
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lawastooshort

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.108... updated...
« Reply #1392 on: May 23, 2014, 09:37:28 am »

((I probably did not use it while digging out Foxglove.))

((Imagine if you'd rolled a 6! Anyway, very good, though you'll have to wrestle the slimefiend off you first to get a chance to swing an axe at the fecker))
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.108... updated...
« Reply #1393 on: May 23, 2014, 09:41:28 am »

((Imagine if you'd rolled a 6! Anyway, very good, though you'll have to wrestle the slimefiend off you first to get a chance to swing an axe at the fecker))

((Oh no, not swing at him. I thought the slimefiend was wrapped around my face? Is it not possible to peel it off or at least terribly irritate it with my axe? My arms should be free, yes?))
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lawastooshort

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.108... updated...
« Reply #1394 on: May 23, 2014, 09:43:42 am »

Fetch my axe and peel the creature off my face.

Lesser men might have squealed, or screamed, or simply exclaimed “Eww”, but Gervedder is fully 4 levels above lesser!

"My," he flumbles, through an increasingly thick layer of slugjuice.

He attempts to wrestle himself free, or at least his arm, but only succeeds in further squeezing himself in the grip of the terrible slug!

Rather than squeeze any harder, the slug instead rears itself up on its hind legs, grasping his prey like a mantis, and prepares his tendrils for a horrifying faceslap!

But just then the GM remembers the other players, and time stops still for an instant to see if they intervene and save Gervedder from a fortnight of face scrubbing and a lifetime of bad dreams.

Wound Acquired: Gervedde Vietzo: Squeezed!

((Oh no, not swing at him. I thought the slimefiend was wrapped around my face? Is it not possible to peel it off or at least terribly irritate it with my axe? My arms should be free, yes?))

((alas, with such a terrible roll, the above is entirely hypothetical! But yes, it may be possible to peel it off or irritate it, and I would have given you a free axe-swing if you had managed))
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