Turn One Hundred and Five and a Half"Oi, one second Gerdevver, I should have some left over for you. Couple questions- that hat that boosts magic occasionally, how many spells is that good for? Just one or a couple of the ol' time units worth? Does it come in robe form? Finally, that house special burny-vomity-nakedy wand: that sounds delightful. How much for a 25-shot wand of that one?
And what's the green farthing to yuro exchange rate in these parts?"
”Well, yon Burny-Vomity-Nakedy Wand is a thousand yuros, good sir wizard. You might think that is steep, but your enemies will, briefly, hate you.
A Robe of Improved Magic, for another thousand yuros is a good match for this particular wand, improving the magic of every subspell you cast, you see – and you can doubly taunt your naked enemy by yourself being rather well covered – as one of my magical robes it offers a +1 protection against inadvertent and unwanted nudity. It lasts for enough time to get off two spells, but can take a while to recharge... The protection against nudity, of course, doesn't need to recharge – this is just something I like to stitch into all my robes, having had a bit of a nudity problem when I was younger... Whole reason I had to leave the Order, you know...
A green farthing, here as elsewhere, is 100 green farthings to the yuro, as far as I remember...”So it is redeath you wish, then?! Very well. MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT!
ENTER: MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT MODE!Bukkar is totally psyched, man – he's never fought fist to fist with an elderly woman
zombie before. Elderly, woman, zombie – yes. All three at once? No way man! Awesome! YEAH! DUN! DUN DUN DUN! DUN DUN DUN! DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!
Bukkar gets to go first, because his opponent is both elderly, and a zombie. He punches her in the face!
...But the elderly ladyzombie is quicker than she looks, and she raises an elderly zombie fist to block the blow!
In turn, she catches Bukkar's hand in a semi-death grip, and lowers her face towards it, to gnaw away the flesh and infect elderlyzombieism!
...Bukkar pulls himself away just as the teeth make contact, and backflips back, trying to flying backflipdropkick her in the face!
...He falls on his own though, leaving him open to a deadly counterattack as the hideous fiend comes at him, arms stretched,
...and trips, shattering her femur.
But Bukkar has no pity for elderly zombie fools! As she lies there, moaning and groaning on the curb, he lines up his fist, expresses his inner lightning storm, and bam!
...Fecks her head right into tiny little pieces!
He is nevertheless careful to wipe the bits of spatter from his face before they dribble into his mouth and turn him into a zombie, or a lady, or even an elderly.
Enter the stepmother's house.
Ignoring the yellow door of the shopkeeper's mother-in-law, Whiz – all terrifying bandages and shining groin – shuffles past to the next house, a pleasant baby blue coloured door.
...He busts it down with his bare fists, strolls in, and inflicts an immediate death of shock (or heart attack, it's hard to tell: she basically screams and flops down dead as a doorbell or is it doormouse) on the dainty old stepmother sitting in a rocking chair by the fire. The stepmother's sister rushes in from the kitchen carrying a rolling pin and wearing a floury apron, screams, and turns to flee back from whence she came, and then out the back door and down the garden path, where she starts trying to climb over the garden wall, without tremendous success, seeing as she is ninety seven.
Uhhhh... follow Lady Foxglove!
Across town, Sylvanna follows Lady Foxglove, and joins her in the lovely joining part between an up stairs and a down stairs; a portal and a wooden door - a wooden door that Foxglove is contemplating quite vigorously.
The wooden door has a slight sound of scratching going on behind it.
Both of them seem to be able to visualise their surroundings a little better than they could a turn ago.
Mission: Retrieve the Magical Mandolin Part
Map for Dwarmin and IronyOwl:
Also, the "x10" in my inventory for the gold underthings is still there, when it should be just the one.
Shhhhh just give them all to your good friend and her creations.
You can have one complete set back for free if you want to have a giant naked fleshgolem wearing gold spangly panties and a presumably madonna style pointy gold bra follow you about everywhere – it's not really going to be any more disturbing for the locals, is it.
Name: Tackov Cedtry
Class: Level 4 Gusty Wind Mage
Status: +0 missile defence. +1 to future gut damage. -1 to melee. Naked! +1 left leg defence. -1 to feet.
Health: [HP: 65/65] |
Severed Guts! |
Magical Saucepan Leg |
Severed Foot!Abilities: Airfist I,
Magical Typhoon I,
Wind Blast I,
Wind Blast II,
Wind Step I,
Squishy,
Sissy Slap FightInventory: Minor Mana Potion x1,
Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x1,
Mouldy Wizard Hat, You Bastard the Mangy Donkey,
Cloak of Camouflage, 524 Green Farthings, 3204 Yuros,
Solid Gold Lingerie x 1, a squashed and severed foot (own), a massive angry boulder stalker.
Name: Whiz
Class: Level 4 Whiznificent Whiz Wiz(ard)
Status: +1 to lower leg defence. +1 to groin defence. -1 to social interaction except with rats. +1 to balancing. +1 to strength. Last in initiative rolls.
Health: [HP: 90/90] |
Giant Rat’s Tail! Mummy!Abilities: Competent Crossbow User,
Red Carpet,
Shield I,
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast II,
Obviously a Powerful Wizard,
It’ll Make You Blind!Inventory: Crossbow x2, Unlimited Quiver,
Raider’s Dress of Shin Protection, 211 Yuros,
Middling Mana Potion x1, Cutlass, Three daggers,
Minor Health Potion x2, +1 Bolt of Accuracy x4, +1 Bolt of Burning x3, +1 Bolt of Paralysis x1,
Carrying Serf x0 (not currently mounted), 0 Green Farthings,
Steel Groinplate.
Name: Gervedder Vietzo
Class: Level 4 Damaged Opportunistic Messenger
Status: +1 to gut and chest defence. +1 defence if moves.
Health: [HP: 90/90]Abilities: Gauntlet,
Sprint of Fury,
Just a Brainflesh Wound,
Nimble Feet,
This Messenger Delivers,
Important,
Stop For DirectionsInventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver, 0 bandages, 2 Yuros,
Iron Cuirass, Crossbow, Gerald the Mule, Two weeks rations and a bedroll,
Apprentice Herbalist's Manual,
Herbalist's Containers x5, Large Cork x1.
Name: Lady Foxglove Vainglorious the III
Class: Level 4 Glamorous Ravenhaired Crusader
Status: +1 to head, chest and groinbone defence.
Health: [HP: 90/90]Abilities: Nonchalant Dodge,
Ravena’s Ear,
Silent as a Raven’s Wing,
Opportunistic,
Honeyed Tongue,
Vain,
Self-RelianceInventory: The Raven's Wingblade,
Minor Health Potion x1, Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Masterwork Helm,
Flying Warsquid, Sword,
Mercenary Squidrider Uniform,
Masterwork Poledancing Pole,
chainmail lingerie, 34 Yuros, 10 bandages, Decent provisions (day) x4, Live eel x649, Red dragon-scale vest,
Curse Grenade of the Slimy Eel.
Name: Bukkar Crangrom
Class: Level 4 Sprayin' Ragin' Mage
Status: Naked! -1 to dodge 9 turns. Not +1 to missile defence until the barrel is fixed.
Health: [HP: 90/90] |
The Vomiting! |
Broken Guts |
Blessed By the Godses |
Stony FacelegthingAbilities: Whirlwind Rage I,
Rage Flight,
Rage Lazors I,
Ass of the Flaming Foot I,
Lightning Fist I,
Always Looking For a Fight,
Always HungoverInventory: Crossbow, 0 Green Farthings,
Large Sealed Bling Barrel, Large Cork x1, pick.
Name: Sylvanna the Felonious
Class: Alchemical Flesh Mechanic
Status: Bedraggled!
Health: [HP: 90/90]Abilities: Construct Control I,
Craft Corpse Glue I,
Craft Alchemical Corpse Glue I,
Corpse Assimilation ,
Crawly HandsInventory: A dead kobold, clothes,
Buckler of Sharp Death.
Name: Rattlefang’s DroneBongo of Vengeances
Class: Level 2 Shamanic Death Tambourine
Health: [HP: 35/35]Abilities: Two Legged Death Tambourine,
Incredibly Sharp Teeth
Author
Topic: Roll to Dungeon Quest - It's not you, it's me. (Read 194094 times)