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Author Topic: Roll to Dungeon Quest - It's not you, it's me.  (Read 193180 times)

Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.104
« Reply #1320 on: April 03, 2014, 11:30:04 pm »

"Hm. What is your cheapest available axe?"
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Dwarmin

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.104
« Reply #1321 on: April 04, 2014, 12:53:28 pm »

Lady Foxglove decided time needed to be wasted before she infiltrated Lord Losers palace-after all, she needed money too. Her dragon-vest could really use some accoutrement. And there were only 34 yuros in her little purse!

And, she knew just the place for endless adventure...

Action: BACK TO THE TEMPLE OF SEF

Sylvanna snapped out of her daze to slip into a wonder. So many things! What weapon or weaponlike to choose... she knew her choice of weapon would be very important. Did she want to shank things with the razor edges of a broken ceramic vase? Bludgeon them with a pike that had seen better days? Beat them with a chandelier?

Better go with something reasonable.

Loot a buckler and several bottles. Break and attach bottle to buckler edges, forming buckler of sharp death.

"Well, that's certainly creative. It's like a dozen drunks got together with twenty drunken farmhands...well, never mind the analogy got away from me.

When you're done, why don't you come with me? I've got a place where you can put that to use! A Real Adventurer quality dungeon, if a bit monotonous..."
« Last Edit: April 04, 2014, 12:58:29 pm by Dwarmin »
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lawastooshort

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Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.104.5
« Reply #1322 on: April 05, 2014, 05:39:07 am »

Not quite turn 104.5

Wait for his answer, and head down for his mother-in-law's house if he says yes. Otherwise, make another offer for a combined price of 150 on the two items, then 200 if 150 isn't good enough.

"Can you throw in a helmet with that breastplate for an extra 50?"

”Er… 200 for the lot, my good friend. But first, you can take the groinplate and deal with the mother-in-law...”

Strapping on his shiny new groinplate, Whiz shuffles on down the road to the yellow doored houes. Covered in bandages and with an incredibly shiny groin, he is very slightly conspicuous, and fairly terrifying to behold.

Groin Protection Acquired: Whiz: Steel Groinplate

Loot a buckler and several bottles. Break and attach bottle to buckler edges, forming buckler of sharp death.

Sylvanna feloniously loots about in the scrapheap of weaponry, and chances across a buckler, as well as several bottles! She gets down to smashing them into jagged pointy bits and vaguely attaching them to the edges of the buckler.

...She is immensely pleased at the end result.

Item Acquired: Sylvanna the Felonious: Buckler of Sharp Death

Ditch the heavy rocks.  Go pawn all but one set of lingerie.  Take money to the Ye Olde Magicck Robe and Wand Shoppe.

Tackov realises he has been carrying a pile of heavy rocks in his inventory for ages. He almost wondered what the hell they were doing in his pockets, but suddenly realised he was naked, and that he'd just been carrying them in his arms all the way round the mountains and back again. He feels a bit of an eejit, but not for long – chucking them on the floor, he strides into the nearest pawn shop, and gets out his lingerie.

The pawnshopkeeper is completely naked, his eyes glazed over and his mouth drooling, as they typically are, but he snaps out of it in a flash when he sees Tackov's lingerie. A few moments of semi-hard bargaining later, and Tackov walks out of the shop with only one set of solid gold lingerie and one bag full of ...3150 solid gold real yuros.

He heads over to Ye Olde Magicck Robe and Wand Shoppe – he's in luck, in that the chain has just recently opened a Nirila branch and is pretty well stocked, it appears.

The shopkeeper wonders what he might like.

”What might you like, goode sir?”

"Hm. What is your cheapest available axe?"

In the axe shop, Gervedder has just seriously disappointed the saleswoman.

”Hmm, I see. Not a connoisseur of... fine axes then,” she says, seriously disappointed. ”Well, I have a standard shiny axe for 5 yuros, but it doesn't do anything special. Just kind of chops.”

She looks wistfully at the messenger.

”You know, I've just had a fresh stock of Flaming Axes of Death? Normally a grand, but I'd do you one for 900 yuros, cash? Or a masterwork one for a grand? They're easier to hit with.”

Whirlwind Rage I!

Not far from the pawnshop there is suddenly an outbreak of enraged screaming!

Then Bukkar joins in, and screams back at the raging ladypensioners!

Bukkar irritated! Whirlwind rage!

...Getting to his feet and properly confronting the hags, he spins in a whirlwind of blurry motion, and suddenly one old biddy's face is flying through the air, and another's chest is severed!

The remaining old women flee!

Unfortunately, two of the nearby townwatchmen approach, one speaking up.

”Oi there, did you just fatally slice off that old lady's face, mister?”

Action: BACK TO THE TEMPLE OF SEF

Not having enough yuros to have a satisfactory post-adventure shopping trippe, Lady Foxglove Vainglorious the Third heads through town back to Crikeyface Jack’s place to find the portal back to the second level of the Temple of Sef, as this would certainly be much quicker than traipsing though the first level again, which although cleared, was cleared, what, a week ago at least, so would probably realistically be full of zombies again.

With any of her comrades who care to follow her, Lady Foxglove strides confidently into Crikeyface Jack's men's room.

Ignoring the urinators, she beholds the sparkling portal.

Enter Y/N?
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Xantalos

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.104.5
« Reply #1323 on: April 05, 2014, 05:43:09 am »

Of course not! She's not dead!

Convince them that I didn't brutally murder an old woman for no reason. Use her corpse as a puppet if necessary.
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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.104.5
« Reply #1324 on: April 05, 2014, 07:42:28 am »

A few moments of semi-hard bargaining later

((I think at this point, this is just a single entendre.))



"Hello!  I am a wind mage of growing presence, and I am looking for something to enhance my magical prowess!  Perhaps you could be of service?  What wares do you have that could provide me a boost?"
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.104.5
« Reply #1325 on: April 05, 2014, 07:52:29 am »

"I am afraid I cannot afford any of your doubtlessly superior quality axes. I seem to have left all my money in the hands of my associates. Regrettable, I know. In fact, I cannot afford the cheapest axe, either. Hold that thought, however. I may return momentarily."

Locate one of my more affluent-seeming associates.
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Dwarmin

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.104.5
« Reply #1326 on: April 05, 2014, 09:14:55 am »

"One level down, probably like ninety-nine levels to go...come on, whomsoever is following me!

I bet there's an Orb of Zot down there!"


She took one big step forward.
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lawastooshort

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Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.105
« Reply #1327 on: April 05, 2014, 03:40:00 pm »

Turn One Hundred and Five

Convince them that I didn't brutally murder an old woman for no reason. Use her corpse as a puppet if necessary.

Of course not! She's not dead!

”What is it then, she's just resting?”

Resting! Yes officer sir, exactly, she's just resting!

”So I'll uh, just wake 'er up then, eh?”

The officer of the townwatch starts shouting with great vigour at the faceless dead old woman that Bukkar is, by this point, holding upright against him and, just as the officer reaches a crescendo of shouting, Bukkar smacks her as hard as she can.

She jerks forward, unsurprisingly.

There, she moved!

”No she didn't! That was you smacking her upside the head!”

Nonsense officer, I-

Just then, before Bukkar can get as far as mentioning her plumage or her pining, the old lady corpse does move, entirely of her own accord, and the terrified townwatch officer backs away.

”'Ere, Harold – he didn't kill 'er! He fecking killed 'er and then rosed her as a feckin' zombie! Flee, mate! Run away! Shite!”

...The oldlady zombie does indeed rise, and shuffles towards Bukkar, in a certain menacing way that suggests she, or probably more fairly it, would like to initiate a special combat round with the vicious naked eejit.

"Hello!  I am a wind mage of growing presence, and I am looking for something to enhance my magical prowess!  Perhaps you could be of service?  What wares do you have that could provide me a boost?"

”Why! You certainly do appear to have quite an impressive presence... I have... pills that might enhance your magical prowess – they speed up your recovery, so you can go for longer, or rather more often, but I also have more specialist equipment – robes, of course, that can protect, or can rejuvenate your magical strength, things like that. And of course wands – most wands are just stored spells, so I have a quite impressive wand collection. Favourites include Wands of Flamey Death, Wands of Lightningy Death, Wands of Windy Death – that kind of thing. Also wands to rejuvenate the body – stop blood leaking out, for instance. With the kind of wealth your bulging inventory suggests, the sky really is nearly the limit – which reminds me, Wands of Flying, which I also like to call Wands of Hopefully Not Fally Death, hoho. Which all goes to say, what would you like to do with your robe or wand, how hard would you like to do it, and how many times?”

"I am afraid I cannot afford any of your doubtlessly superior quality axes. I seem to have left all my money in the hands of my associates. Regrettable, I know. In fact, I cannot afford the cheapest axe, either. Hold that thought, however. I may return momentarily."

Locate one of my more affluent-seeming associates.

Gervedder rushes out of the fine axe shop, and searches about for a comrade. Whoever he finds will probably very easily be retrospectively worked into whatever it has to be worked into.

She took one big step forward.

Lady Foxglove has no way of knowing it right now, but there is an Orb of Zot down there – and she has no way of knowing how vital a role in the advancement of the plot it might yet play.

She steps into the cubicle and through the portal, and into the musty spell of the second level of the Temple of Sef, last seen a really quite long time ago.

She finds herself roughly halfway between two flights of stairs – one up, one down – with a simple looking wooden door just in front of her – that she seems to recall having gone through and then come back through once before – and the remains of a stone fountain around her feet.
Spoiler: GM notes (click to show/hide)
Current Players:
Spoiler: Tackov Cedtry, Toaster (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Whiz, Chink (click to show/hide)
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Xantalos

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.105
« Reply #1328 on: April 05, 2014, 03:52:16 pm »

So it is redeath you wish, then?! Very well. MORTAL KOMBAAAAAAAAAT!

Engage in Kombat!
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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.105
« Reply #1329 on: April 05, 2014, 05:37:42 pm »

Enter the stepmother's house.
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IronyOwl

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.105
« Reply #1330 on: April 05, 2014, 06:10:14 pm »

The pawnshopkeeper is completely naked, his eyes glazed over and his mouth drooling, as they typically are
((I know there was a lot to laugh at this past one turn split into two halves, but this in particular really got me.))


Uhhhh... follow Lady Foxglove!
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The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.105
« Reply #1331 on: April 05, 2014, 07:12:58 pm »

"Hmm... let's start in the robe department, shall we?  While it pays to advertise, ho ho, I could do with a bit of covering!  But yes, I'm looking for something in the general enhancement of magical potential line, with any particular focus on magicks of the air.  Also, these wands of yours, are they "store a few spells then all done" or the kind that recharge?  Because I could use something of the latter that could perhaps do something I otherwise couldn't.  Maybe poisonous clouds or the like?"


((I think at this point, this is just a single entendre.))

You have a filthy mind, sir! A filthy mind!

Guilty as charged.


Also, the "x10" in my inventory for the gold underthings is still there, when it should be just the one.
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

IronyOwl

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.105
« Reply #1332 on: April 05, 2014, 07:18:19 pm »

Also, the "x10" in my inventory for the gold underthings is still there, when it should be just the one.
Shhhhh just give them all to your good friend and her creations.

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Quote from: Radio Controlled (Discord)
A hand, a hand, my kingdom for a hot hand!
The kitchenette mold free, you move on to the pantry. it's nasty in there. The bacon is grazing on the lettuce. The ham is having an illicit affair with the prime rib, The potatoes see all, know all. A rat in boxer shorts smoking a foul smelling cigar is banging on a cabinet shouting about rent money.

lawastooshort

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.105
« Reply #1333 on: April 06, 2014, 05:03:59 am »

((Will do everyone else later today.))

"Hmm... let's start in the robe department, shall we?  While it pays to advertise, ho ho, I could do with a bit of covering!  But yes, I'm looking for something in the general enhancement of magical potential line, with any particular focus on magicks of the air.  Also, these wands of yours, are they "store a few spells then all done" or the kind that recharge?  Because I could use something of the latter that could perhaps do something I otherwise couldn't.  Maybe poisonous clouds or the like?"

((You actually have a +1 defence robe in your inventory, but removed it for bandaging, if I recall, so I won't go over robes this turn, but will later if you want. Also, prices are not fixed, I only had time to balance some of them against previous purchases, but this is a rough guide))

”Well, wands, sir – we have two types. Some store a few spells and are then all done, indeed, and the number of spells held depends on, or rather decides, the price. Then there are the pricier kind that recharge – some, say, will do a spell, then need, say, several units of time to recharge, and some will do several spells, and then need, let's call it, “sleep”. The advantage of the cheaper kind that can run out, of course, is that if you got a wand with fifty charges, you could do them repeatedly until it ran out, but a wand that could do fifty spells and then recharge would cost you quite literally an arm and a leg, if said limbs were solid gold AND fully functional...”

“Anyway – we do indeed have poison cloud wands – with poisonous effects ranging from temporary blindness, vomiting, uncontrollable urges, choking, illness, and occasional death – I can cast a particular focus on the illness to suit your wishes. We also have fire wands – either fireballs or controlled single-victim burning. Lightning wands vary according to how powerful the blast is and how likely it is to arc.”

“So let's say there are two basic models. A less powerful spell in a wand with 25 charges will cost you 300 yuros. A more powerful spell in a wand with 25 charges will cost you 600 yuros.

A less powerful spell in a recharging wand that works every, say 10 units of time will cost you 500 yuros, and a more powerful spell in such a wand will cost you 1000 yuros.

Name yer spell and name yer number of charges or time you want to wait to recharge, and I'll see what I can enchant you up. Like to consider meself quite an artisan, I do, sir. Can even do mixed effects, if you like – burning vomiting is a nice one. Once conjured up a wand that inflicted burning vomiting and the uncontrollable urge to get entirely naked and run around flailing your arms. Quite proud of that, I was, and still am.”

“Oh, and I almost forgot – we have a few enhancing magical wizard hats, too. The Hat of Improved Magical Accuracy helps you aim you spells, Hat of Improved Magic helps you to cast spells generally. That can either be a permanent effect, for 2500 yuros and 5000 yuros respectively, or something that takes, let's say, about 10 units of time to recharge for 500 or 1000 yuros respectively. The Hat of Rapid Magic speeds up your magical recovery time, a bit like a magical sports drink, and can cost 1000 or 2000 yuros, depending on your budget.”


The shopkeeper looks a bit tired after all this, and worries that Tackov might too.

”Apologies for being both vague and comprehensive, but you look like a man of means and taste, you see...”

Suddenly Gervedder bursts in, looking suspiciously like he might like to borrow a large sum of money.
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.105
« Reply #1334 on: April 06, 2014, 05:31:08 am »

"Say, have you any money, Tackov? I may need to make a purchase. Specifically, either 3, 898 or 998 Yuros?"
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