Turn Ninety OneAction: Time to scout forward in the cave while my allies are getting 'healed'-be as silent as a ravens wing! Try not to get into any fights, tho
While her allies bleed on the floor and themselves, Lady Foxglove sees fit to use her particular set of skills to leave them behind, thereby minimising the chance of getting further blood on her clothes. She tosses a mental coin, and heads what turns out to be north.
…She meanders silently through the tunnels of warm damp stone, coming across neither sight nor sound of foe, although the slightly putrid evidence of kobold habitation lingers everywhere in the air. After perhaps a hundred metres or more, she comes to a junction. She turns right, and comes to a flight of stairs heading upwards. She turns back, crosses the junction, and comes to a flight of stairs heading downwards. She returns once more to the junction, and ponders.
Rest.
Meanwhile Whiz has only just stopped getting blood on his- oh, no: Whiz is naked, which at least means he hasn’t, in fact, soiled his clothes. He, though, himself, is quite covered in blood. The overall effect is rather disconcerting, and contemplating it tires him out. Or it could be the whole getting covered in blood thing that tired him out. He decides to rest and think about, and sits down,
…quite successfully.
What a lovely rest, he thinks to himself.
Acquire some more clothing to cover horrible deformities. And look mysterious and stuff.
Also meanwhile, Medha, bleeding heavily, decides to search for some clothing to use to cover up the bloodholes so she doesn’t have to think about it which, in the absence of a trained healer, is, I suppose, a reasonable course of action.
…Pacing up and down the stony corridor, she comes across what looks like a rather large kobold sock. Unsure which deformity would best be addressed by a large used sock, she decides to hang it off one of the sticky out bits of her dragonribs, which looks quite nice and decorative, if you squint.
Bandage and medically manipulate the others into a state of at least mediocre health and minimal blood loss. Reattach whatever parts are missing and still available to them.
Assist with corpse teammate recovery and repair.
"We need to get into fighting shape," declares Gervedder, surveying his not incredibly competent companions,
”Quickly," whereupon one of them, Tackov, replies with a large quantity of nonsensical outpouring.
"He's probably right. Leg up, chin out, arm yourselves, and get your head in the game!" he dribbles, gazing on jealously as Dr Vietzo gets to work.
With a flash of bandage and… well, that’s about it actually,
…Gervedder tries to make Whiz feel better by sticking some bandages to his naked chest with a bit of spit and brute force, but he feels a bit uncomfortable given the wizard’s nudity, and gives up.
… He tries to violently thrust a bit of manky bandage-end into one of Medha’s chest holes, but misses, and makes a new chest hole.
…He then tries to tie Bukkar’s guts in with a bit of string he’s just found in his pocket, but he gets his hands all bloody, and drops the string, which wriggles away and disappears somewhere inside the rage mage.
Perhaps it was a passing worm, Gervedder reflects.
Still, no harm do-"Oi!" Doctor Tackov McJealous can take no more!
…Humming an imbecilic tune like an escaped bagpipe Tackov elbows Gervedder out the way, and decides to have a go himself!
There’s no way this can go wrong!
…First he grabs Whiz the Fatigued: Tackov tears a dozen bandages out of Medha’s inventory, holds them out, and spins the bewildered magical eejit round and round! Despite missing all of his necromancer lessons as a young apprentice mage, Tackov has created a mummy!
He takes all off Whiz’s cash in exchange for his medical services.
…Next Tackov grabs Medha the Multifully Bleeding! He takes the spare ribs he’s been carrying, and thrusts them into each and every one of Medha’s chest holes! Medha passes out from the pain! As Tackov rolls her over to take his fee, he notices that she now seems to be bleeding profusely from the back instead of the front.
But then every procedure has side effects, right?
…Finally Tackov grabs hold of Bukkar the Gut-Lacking. Tackov has just the solution! He grabs his own guts from their carefully stored place in his inventory, and shoves them into Bukkar’s gut-hole! To make sure the careless eejit doesn’t let them fall out again, Tackov smashes Bukkar in the guts repeatedly with his saucepan! It seems to work!
Then he smashes Bukkar about the head for pain relief, and takes his fee.
"That’s how you does it!"He walks away, thinks for a second, turns round, rips the stunned Bukkar’s clothes off, throws them against the wall, and walks away again.
Mummification Acquired: Whiz el Whiz:
Mummy!Wound Acquired: Medha Correo:
Pain!Wound Acquired: Medha Correo:
Very Heavy Back Bleeding!Wound Acquired: Bukkar Crangrom:
Pain Relief!Use Medea's face to cauterize the wound before stitching my guts back together with nearby bits of string.
Hmm.Bukkar is unsure what to do, in the face of this masterly doctoring. He has never been so proficiently doctored, and only twice so violently.
He likes it.
It inspires him.
It occurs to him that his guts, although now replaced, and so in theory not entirely severed, are still heavily bleeding. And the best way to stop bleeding – the
manliest, the
angriest way, apart from punching the blood back in, is cauterisation.
Burning the blood back in.
The answer is obvious.
…Grabbing a nearby bottle of strong liquor, he throws it over Medha’s head, lights her head on fire, and pelvic thrusts his gut-wound into her face repeatedly until the wound is healed.
It works!
He stops bleeding!
Fire Acquired: Medha Correo:
Facial Burning!Mission: Retrieve the Magical Mandolin Part from the Fortress of Koboldy Doom
Map: You are all kind of just outside the room and Lady F is scouting about.
Current Players:Name: Tackov Cedtry
Class: Level 3 Gusty Wind Mage
Status: +1 missile defence. +1 to future gut damage. -1 to melee. Naked!
Health: [HP: 55/60] |
Severed Guts!Abilities: Magical Typhoon I,
Wind Blast I,
Wind Blast II,
Wind Step I,
Squishy,
Sissy Slap FightInventory: Minor Mana Potion x1,
Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x1, one memorised use of:
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Mouldy Wizard Hat, You Bastard the Mangy Donkey,
Cloak of Camouflage, 524 Green Farthings, 154 Yuros, Several heavy rocks, saucepan.
Name: Whiz
Class: Level 3 Whiznificent Whiz Wiz(ard)
Status: +1 to lower leg defence. -1 to social interaction except with rats. +1 to balancing. +1 to strength. Last in initiative rolls.
Health: [HP: 50/85] |
Giant Rat’s Tail! Mummy!Abilities: Red Carpet,
Shield I,
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast II,
Obviously a Powerful Wizard,
It’ll Make You Blind!Inventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Raider’s Dress of Shin Protection, 0 Yuros,
Middling Mana Potion x1, Cutlass, Three daggers,
Minor Health Potion x2, +1 Bolt of Accuracy x4, +1 Bolt of Burning x3, +1 Bolt of Paralysis x2,
Carrying Serf x0 (not currently mounted), 0 Green Farthings.
Name: Medha Correo
Class: Level 3 Alchemist Curse Crafter
Status: +1 to gut defence. +1 to chest defence. -1 to non-stone-based social interaction. -1 pain penalty for 2 turns.
Health: [HP: 16/85] |
Draconic Ribcage! Shiny Rock Face! Very Heavy Back Bleeding! Facial Burning!Skull Spider Health: [HP: 25/25]Abilities: Craft Curse Grenade,
Opportunistic Attack I,
Curse Crafter,
Curse of the Fool,
Wandering Asshole,
Curse of the Curse CrafterInventory: Dagger, Half a dress, 59 bandages,
Neckless of the Ribless, Dagger, Lock picking kit,
Iron Cuirass, 111 Yuros, Crossbow,
Brittle Jagged Groinbone Dagger of Good, 4 vials of human blood, 6 vials of kobold blood,
Grenade of the Fool x0, Serpent's Benediction plant x1, Faery-weed x1, A Shiny Stone, Bottle of Dragon Blood, a six foot plank of wood, a rune dagger,
Curse of Being Stepped Upon! Name: Gervedder Vietzo
Class: Level 3 Damaged Opportunistic Messenger
Status: +1 to gut and chest defence. +1 defence if moves.
Health: [HP: 85/85]Abilities: Just a Brainflesh Wound,
Nimble Feet,
This Messenger Delivers,
Make Way for the Messenger! Important,
Stop For DirectionsInventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver, 0 bandages, 2 Yuros,
Iron Cuirass, Crossbow, Gerald the Mule, Two weeks rations and a bedroll,
Apprentice Herbalist's Manual,
Herbalist's Containers x5, Large Cork x1.
Name: Lady Foxglove Vainglorious the III
Class: Level 3 Glamorous Ravenhaired Crusader
Status: +1 to head, chest and groinbone defence.
Health: [HP: 85/85]Abilities: Ravena’s Ear,
Silent as a Raven’s Wing,
Opportunistic,
Honeyed Tongue,
Vain,
Self-RelianceInventory: Minor Health Potion x2, Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Masterwork Helm,
Flying Warsquid,
Lance, Sword,
Mercenary Squidrider Uniform,
Masterwork Poledancing Pole,
chainmail lingerie, 34 Yuros, 10 bandages, Decent provisions (day) x4, Live eel x649, Red dragon-scale vest,
Curse Grenade of the Slimy Eel.
Name: Bukkar Crangrom
Class: Level 3 Sprayin' Ragin' Mage
Status: Naked!
Health: [HP: 30/85] |
The Vomiting!Abilities: Rage Flight,
Rage Lazors I,
Ass of the Flaming Foot I,
Lightning Fist I,
Always Looking For a Fight,
Always HungoverInventory: Sword of Severing! Crossbow, 0 Green Farthings,
Large Sealed Bling Barrel, Large Cork x1, Dragon Body Parts Covered in Bodily Fluids (quantity-small), pick.