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Author Topic: Roll to Dungeon Quest - It's not you, it's me.  (Read 193198 times)

Toaster

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.90
« Reply #1155 on: December 18, 2013, 09:54:26 am »

Use Medea's face to cauterize the wound before stitching my guys back together with nearby bits of string.

stitching my guys back together with nearby bits of string.

stitching my guys back together

my guys

guys
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Xantalos

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.90
« Reply #1156 on: December 18, 2013, 10:02:23 am »

Moo
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lawastooshort

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Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.91
« Reply #1157 on: December 19, 2013, 12:01:42 pm »

Turn Ninety One

Action: Time to scout forward in the cave while my allies are getting 'healed'-be as silent as a ravens wing! Try not to get into any fights, tho

While her allies bleed on the floor and themselves, Lady Foxglove sees fit to use her particular set of skills to leave them behind, thereby minimising the chance of getting further blood on her clothes. She tosses a mental coin, and heads what turns out to be north.

She meanders silently through the tunnels of warm damp stone, coming across neither sight nor sound of foe, although the slightly putrid evidence of kobold habitation lingers everywhere in the air. After perhaps a hundred metres or more, she comes to a junction. She turns right, and comes to a flight of stairs heading upwards. She turns back, crosses the junction, and comes to a flight of stairs heading downwards. She returns once more to the junction, and ponders.

Rest.

Meanwhile Whiz has only just stopped getting blood on his- oh, no: Whiz is naked, which at least means he hasn’t, in fact, soiled his clothes. He, though, himself, is quite covered in blood. The overall effect is rather disconcerting, and contemplating it tires him out. Or it could be the whole getting covered in blood thing that tired him out. He decides to rest and think about, and sits down, quite successfully.

What a lovely rest, he thinks to himself.

Acquire some more clothing to cover horrible deformities. And look mysterious and stuff.

Also meanwhile, Medha, bleeding heavily, decides to search for some clothing to use to cover up the bloodholes so she doesn’t have to think about it which, in the absence of a trained healer, is, I suppose, a reasonable course of action.

Pacing up and down the stony corridor, she comes across what looks like a rather large kobold sock. Unsure which deformity would best be addressed by a large used sock, she decides to hang it off one of the sticky out bits of her dragonribs, which looks quite nice and decorative, if you squint.

Bandage and medically manipulate the others into a state of at least mediocre health and minimal blood loss. Reattach whatever parts are missing and still available to them.

Assist with corpse teammate recovery and repair.

"We need to get into fighting shape," declares Gervedder, surveying his not incredibly competent companions, ”Quickly," whereupon one of them, Tackov, replies with a large quantity of nonsensical outpouring.

"He's probably right.  Leg up, chin out, arm yourselves, and get your head in the game!" he dribbles, gazing on jealously as Dr Vietzo gets to work.

With a flash of bandage and… well, that’s about it actually, Gervedder tries to make Whiz feel better by sticking some bandages to his naked chest with a bit of spit and brute force, but he feels a bit uncomfortable given the wizard’s nudity, and gives up. He tries to violently thrust a bit of manky bandage-end into one of Medha’s chest holes, but misses, and makes a new chest hole. He then tries to tie Bukkar’s guts in with a bit of string he’s just found in his pocket, but he gets his hands all bloody, and drops the string, which wriggles away and disappears somewhere inside the rage mage. Perhaps it was a passing worm, Gervedder reflects. Still, no harm do-

"Oi!"

Doctor Tackov McJealous can take no more!

Humming an imbecilic tune like an escaped bagpipe Tackov elbows Gervedder out the way, and decides to have a go himself!

There’s no way this can go wrong!

First he grabs Whiz the Fatigued: Tackov tears a dozen bandages out of Medha’s inventory, holds them out, and spins the bewildered magical eejit round and round! Despite missing all of his necromancer lessons as a young apprentice mage, Tackov has created a mummy!

He takes all off Whiz’s cash in exchange for his medical services.

Next Tackov grabs Medha the Multifully Bleeding! He takes the spare ribs he’s been carrying, and thrusts them into each and every one of Medha’s chest holes! Medha passes out from the pain! As Tackov rolls her over to take his fee, he notices that she now seems to be bleeding profusely from the back instead of the front.

But then every procedure has side effects, right?

Finally Tackov grabs hold of Bukkar the Gut-Lacking. Tackov has just the solution! He grabs his own guts from their carefully stored place in his inventory, and shoves them into Bukkar’s gut-hole! To make sure the careless eejit doesn’t let them fall out again, Tackov smashes Bukkar in the guts repeatedly with his saucepan! It seems to work!

Then he smashes Bukkar about the head for pain relief, and takes his fee.

"That’s how you does it!"

He walks away, thinks for a second, turns round, rips the stunned Bukkar’s clothes off, throws them against the wall, and walks away again.

Mummification Acquired: Whiz el Whiz: Mummy!

Wound Acquired: Medha Correo: Pain!

Wound Acquired: Medha Correo: Very Heavy Back Bleeding!

Wound Acquired: Bukkar Crangrom: Pain Relief!

Use Medea's face to cauterize the wound before stitching my guts back together with nearby bits of string.

Hmm.

Bukkar is unsure what to do, in the face of this masterly doctoring. He has never been so proficiently doctored, and only twice so violently.

He likes it.

It inspires him.

It occurs to him that his guts, although now replaced, and so in theory not entirely severed, are still heavily bleeding. And the best way to stop bleeding – the manliest, the angriest way, apart from punching the blood back in, is cauterisation. Burning the blood back in.

The answer is obvious.

Grabbing a nearby bottle of strong liquor, he throws it over Medha’s head, lights her head on fire, and pelvic thrusts his gut-wound into her face repeatedly until the wound is healed.

It works!

He stops bleeding!

Fire Acquired: Medha Correo: Facial Burning!

Spoiler: GM’s notes (click to show/hide)
Current Players:
Spoiler: Tackov Cedtry, Toaster (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Whiz, Chink (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Medha Correo, Errol (click to show/hide)
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.91
« Reply #1158 on: December 19, 2013, 12:07:22 pm »

"Perhaps we should try it again with less curse crafter mutilation."

Now that Medha has been successfully put under, address the facial burning and bleeding wounds before she bleeds out or burns to death. As in, cure them.
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Toaster

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.91
« Reply #1159 on: December 19, 2013, 12:17:57 pm »

IM HELPING
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

lawastooshort

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.91
« Reply #1160 on: December 28, 2013, 03:18:44 pm »

Okay, it's been 9 days since the last update and I've had 1 player post. Is this a sign from above that I should end it all? (it being the game. It's lost its way a little due to the updating schedule so I won't be offended if you all vote yes.)

Or is it a rather clever critique of my update schedule?

((Or a massive vote of confidence for the Pigeons?))
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Xantalos

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.91
« Reply #1161 on: December 28, 2013, 04:49:24 pm »

Holiday comatoseness on my part.

Excellent, roars Bukkar. 
Wait a second face fire. 
Oh. Should probably fix that.

Get water/alcohol. Toss on Medea face.
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Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

Toaster

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.91
« Reply #1162 on: December 28, 2013, 10:39:22 pm »

((Err... I was expecting to think of an action after the thread popped back up on updated topic list.  Ooopsie!))


Tackov shrugs.  "Did my part!"

Peek ahead into the unknown area of the map.  Mentally dibs any loot.
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Chink

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.91
« Reply #1163 on: December 28, 2013, 10:44:07 pm »

((Been too busy with the holidays to post.))

"Mmph."

Retrieve my missing Yuros.
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Dwarmin

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.91
« Reply #1164 on: December 29, 2013, 12:55:36 pm »

((you lazy guys. At least I was physically unable to post until this very moment, gone two weeks sans net whilst moving into my new apartment...))

Feeling as if she had scarcely been present at all, Lady Foxglove took the right handed path without further ado.

"The air smells less foul down this way." She said wisely.

Action: Search the right fork!
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Dwarmin's fell gaze has fallen upon you. Sadly, Your life and your quest end here, at this sig.

"The hats never coming off."

lawastooshort

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.91
« Reply #1165 on: December 29, 2013, 05:30:27 pm »

((Dwarmin: the right fork with stairs heading up?

Also, will see if I can update tomorrow))
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Dwarmin

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.91
« Reply #1166 on: December 29, 2013, 06:37:01 pm »

((Dwarmin: the right fork with stairs heading up?

Also, will see if I can update tomorrow))

((Yeah, upwards))
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Dwarmin's fell gaze has fallen upon you. Sadly, Your life and your quest end here, at this sig.

"The hats never coming off."

lawastooshort

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Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.92
« Reply #1167 on: January 02, 2014, 04:08:36 pm »

Turn Ninety Two

Now that Medha has been successfully put under, address the facial burning and bleeding wounds before she bleeds out or burns to death. As in, cure them.

"Perhaps we should try it again with less curse crafter mutilation."

Excellent, roars Bukkar.

...Gervedder dashes into the nearby kobold dormitory, spots the nearest fire blanket on a wall, rips it down and out and runs back to Medha's burning face. He smothers her vigorously, but the fire just seems to move!

Now her hair is on fire.

There is only one thing for it.

...He bandages her hair.

It stops neither the burning hair, nor the bleeding back.

It is, in fact, a miracle of a benevolent god that it doesn't, somehow, finish the poor girl off. Almost as if fate is saying, one more chance, yer big eejit, one more chance...

Get water/alcohol. Toss on Medea face.

Bukkar, standing just there, and for some unknown reason fond of his fellow incompetent, is here to administer that one more chance.

Medha sighs in resignation as she realises.

...Bukkar grabs a nearby bucket of water, and violently throws it in Medha's face. Suddenly he realises it was in fact beer, not water, and instincts take over: he flies through the air, double backflips, and lands with his mouth in front of Medha's face.

Saved!

The beer goes in Bukkar's mouth!

In any case it was her hair burning now anyway, he realises, not her face. It would have been a double and unforgivable waste of really quite acceptably pleasant ale. He potters off to see if there is any more where that came from.

Quote from: Autoed Errol
Cure self

...Seeing there is no hope, Medha just gets up and cures herself. She douses her burning head in one of her buckets of sand, and expertly bandages her back-wound. It feels quite strange to not be suffering from some hideously awful wound or other. She's immediately suspicious.

Peek ahead into the unknown area of the map.  Mentally dibs any loot.

...Tackov heads into... THE UNKNOWN.

He comes across a toppled statue. He mentally dibs it. He continues on... INTO MORE UNKNOWN. He comes to a dead end. He turns back. He comes to a turning. He turns. And then... Then, there is a junction. On the right – more corridor, the same as the rest of the featureless desert of corridor, except this one smells. It smells... of ozone. Or dung. On the left, there is a small length of corridor and then, ten feet later, there is a wooden portcullis. Beyond is a smallish room – about as big as the room Tackov recently fell into and got attacked by a horde of legs in. It appears empty.

Retrieve my missing Yuros.

...Just then Whiz sneaks up behind Tackov, makes a flying leap to rugby-tackle the cash-stealing medical fiend to the floor prior to robbing all his Yuros back, and flies face first into the nearby wall as Tackov completely unknowingly sidesteps out of the way.

”Oh, hello! You need to be a bit quieter if you want to scout ahead you know, Whiz old chap!”

Tackov taps the side of his nose.

”I'm a bit of an expert in this kind of thing, you know.”

"Mmph."

(([…] gone two weeks sans net whilst moving into my new apartment...))

Action: Search the right fork!

...Lady Foxglove, realising the way to safety is the way away from her comrades, continues to sneak away from her comrades.

"The air smells less foul down this way," she smells, correctly. Perhaps it is the absence of her fellow adventurers that sweetens the air so. Who knows? She sneaks on, down the right hand fork, and up the previously observed stairs. As she sneaks she has a curious feeling - a feeling that she is becoming one with the shadow, and playing the perfect harmony to the silence's melody. She is, in short, practically invisible. Literally noiseless. Totall-

Foxglove stops. She kneels, and signals with her right hand, before realising no fellow soldier is with her this time. She is both point-Lady and rearguard. She sneaks on, gliding silently through the undergrowth, gently moving apart the fern fronds and the daintily stepping over the roots of ancient and gnarled jungle trees.

Enemy up ahead...

She stops. Close enough. She crawls on her belly through the soft soil and raises her m16's sight to her eye. Seven, eight, nine. Nine kobolds guarding the exit.

She recognises it.

She recognises them.

She's back at the entrance to the kobold fortress, but this time she's on the inside.

Spoiler: GM’s notes (click to show/hide)
Current Players:
Spoiler: Tackov Cedtry, Toaster (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Whiz, Chink (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Medha Correo, Errol (click to show/hide)
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Xantalos

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.92
« Reply #1168 on: January 02, 2014, 04:13:47 pm »

Eat dragon bits to regain health and maybe transform into some sort of badass dragon hybrid.

After all, thinks Bukkar, that's how dragon stuff works. You eat them and you turn into one.
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Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))

Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.92
« Reply #1169 on: January 03, 2014, 05:10:43 am »

"Well, it seems to me we're currently doing... okay. Now, don't move anywhere, Medha. And sorry about the low-quality treatment."

Find Tackov. Aid him in his explorations.
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