Turn Eighty EightINT: A DANK CAVE; DEEP IN THE DURIAL MOUNTAINS. 7.40AM. TUESDAY.
A lady – it is clearly a Lady, and not just a Woman – flees a small horde of miniature ratty lizard type creatures.
She is mounted on a squid.
"Oh, you just what you dongleflanges!" fumes the Lady, incoherently.
She is angry.
At Fate.
Several of the miniature ratty lizard type creatures throw spears at her as she flees.
"I'll be back when numerical superiority is on my side!" she shouts, over her shoulder.
INT: A DANKER CAVE; SLIGHTLY DEEPER IN THE DURIAL MOUNTAINS. 7.41AM: SECONDS BEFORE A SIX. STILL TUESDAY.
A wizard – it is clearly a wizard, and not, say, a mage, a sorcerer, or a nudist, although he could quite easily in fact be confused with any of these three – waves his hands energetically. A red carpet appears in the middle of the danker cave. Literally the middle: it is floating in the air. Something that looks and smells a little like cheap red wine spews forth from the edges of the carpet, or rug, like a floating Niagara Falls of magical wine, but more carpety.
It is a magical potion.
Within seconds the torrent of magical potion increases in strength: two-fold; three-fold; multi-fold. Suddenly it is as if there is a circular tsunami burst forth out of the carpet.
...One of the wizard's companions, a scrawny and deformed young woman, is swept violently away by the river of extra-strength healing potion.
INT: A DANKER CORRIDOR. 7.41AM.
Medha Correo, for it is of course she, the deformed companion, is smashed against a nearby wall, whereupon several broken ribs sprout out of her horrific chest, leap through repulsive bloody wounds, and start beating her about the face.
Her severed ribs have regenerated, and they are back for vengeance.
INT: A DANKER CAVE. 7.41AM.
...Back in the danker cave, the wizard – who is named Whiz, we will soon find out – is alarmed. He has stopped heavily bleeding, which is good. His leg has grown back, which is good.
But so have several other legs.
Not so much back.
Just grown.
They sever themselves and leap off Whiz's terrified body, and start kicking him in the face and head even as more legs sprout from his sides. He huddles on the floor, holding his head in his hands.
The cave begins to fill with violent legs.
They start attacking the cave's occupants in fits of rage.
Just then a very long gut slithers out of Whiz, and snakes towards the door.
A very long sentient gut.
Oh dear.
INT: A DANKER CORRIDOR. 7.42AM.
Bukkar Crangrom is not your typical friendly type drunk. Oh no. He is an angry drunk.
This is irrelevant for now.
He is a hungry drunk.
That is not.
Oh dear.
Suddenly he is confused. He smells... wine? Great quantities of wine? He...
Food?
Sausage!
Kebab!
Joy!
Argh!
Bukkar Crangrom wrestles on the floor with an enormous length of sentient gut.
...He loses.
...The guts start trying to strangle him. He struggles and flails about on the floor in a river of cheap wine.
A typical Tuesday morning for Bukkar Crangrom.
INT: A DANKER CAVE. 7.42AM.
"WHEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOh man stop the room spinning"Oddly enough, Tackov Cedtry is not sick. He is, however, knocked lightly against the wall by a passing flood of cheap magical wine. He struggles to his feet, pulls a set of fancy clothes out of his inventory, and
...watches in disgust as a nearby leg grabs them and runs off whilst his comrade-in-legship starts kicking Tackov in the groin.
...Tackov collapses to the ground, naked and in pain.
The sentient leg continue to kick him in the crotch.
EXT: A MOUNTAINSIDE: LESS DEEP IN THE DURIAL MOUNTAINS. 7.43AM. TUESDAY.
...In the semi-darkness, a messenger runs through the dawn.
The audience knows he is a messenger, for there is messengery music playing.
He runs.
He occasionally looks over his shoulder.
He occasionally nearly stumbles.
But Gervedder Vietzo is a pro. He keep running through the dawn until suddenly he falls down a hole.
He lands with a bump, in a slick of cheap magical wine, and is immediately set upon by several sentient legs, trying to kick his shins and bite his cheeks.
...He holds them off with his fists as best as he can, even elbowing one in the face as he surveys the dim dank situation.
On one side of the room lays Whiz, his whizzardly companion. He is naked, in a huddle, with nigh on a dozen legs kicking him viciously.
On the other side of the room lays Tackov, his magely companion. He is naked, in a huddle, with several legs kicking him happily in the groin.
Just outside of the room, smashed against the wall outside the doorway, is Medha, his... witchly companion. Bleeding heavily, she is being beaten about the face by her own bones.
And next to her is Bukkar, his drunkardly... acquaintance. He is wrestling a long segment of gut. And losing.
...Just then Lady Foxglove Vainglorious III falls on Gervedder's head.
"Hm... okay."Wound Acquired: Medha Correo:
Very Heavy Chest Bleeding!Wound Acquired: Medha Correo:
Face Damage!Wound Acquired: Whiz el Whiznificentissimo:
Face Damage!Wound Acquired: Whiz el Whiznificentissimo:
Head Damage!Wound Acquired: Bukkar Crangrom
Throat Damage!Wound Acquired: Tackov Cedtry
Crotch Damage!Enemies:
4 Sentient Ribs
1 Sentient Gut
1 Flock of Sentient Legs (15/15)
Mission: Retrieve the Magical Mandolin Part from the Fortress of Koboldy Doom
Name: Tackov Cedtry
Class: Level 3 Gusty Wind Mage
Status: +1 missile defence. -1 to melee. Naked!
Health: [HP: 35/60] |
Severed Guts!Abilities: Magical Typhoon I,
Wind Blast I,
Wind Blast II,
Wind Step I,
Squishy,
Sissy Slap FightInventory: Minor Mana Potion x1,
Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x1, one memorised use of:
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Mouldy Wizard Hat, bits of guts (own), You Bastard the Mangy Donkey,
Cloak of Camouflage, 112 Green Farthings, 17 Yuros, Several heavy rocks, Some ribs, saucepan.
Name: Whiz
Class: Level 3 Whiznificent Whiz Wiz(ard)
Status: +1 to lower leg defence. -1 to social interaction. +1 to balancing. Naked!
Health: [HP: 25/85] |
Giant Rat’s Tail!Abilities: Red Carpet,
Shield I,
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast II,
Obviously a Powerful Wizard,
It’ll Make You Blind!Inventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Raider’s Dress of Shin Protection, 37 Yuros,
Middling Mana Potion x1, Cutlass, Three daggers,
Minor Health Potion x2, +1 Bolt of Accuracy x4, +1 Bolt of Burning x3, +1 Bolt of Paralysis x2,
Carrying Serf x0 (not currently mounted), 12 Green Farthings.
Name: Medha Correo
Class: Level 3 Alchemist Curse Crafter
Status: +1 to gut defence. +1 to chest defence.
Health: [HP: 56/85] |
Draconic Ribcage!,
Very Heavy Chest Bleeding!Skull Spider Health: [HP: 25/25]Abilities: Craft Curse Grenade,
Opportunistic Attack I,
Curse Crafter,
Curse of the Fool,
Wandering Asshole,
Curse of the Curse CrafterInventory: Dagger, Half a dress, 71 bandages,
Neckless of the Ribless, Dagger, Lock picking kit,
Iron Cuirass, 211 Yuros, Crossbow,
Brittle Jagged Groinbone Dagger of Good, 4 vials of human blood, 6 vials of kobold blood,
Grenade of the Fool x0, Serpent's Benediction plant x1, Faery-weed x1, A Shiny Stone, Bottle of Dragon Blood, a six foot plank of wood, a rune dagger,
Curse of Being Stepped Upon! Name: Gervedder Vietzo
Class: Level 3 Damaged Opportunistic Messenger
Status: +1 to gut and chest defence. +1 defence if moves.
Health: [HP: 80/85]Abilities: Just a Brainflesh Wound,
Nimble Feet,
This Messenger Delivers,
Make Way for the Messenger! Important,
Stop For DirectionsInventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver, 2 bandages, 2 Yuros,
Iron Cuirass, Crossbow, Gerald the Mule, Two weeks rations and a bedroll,
Apprentice Herbalist's Manual,
Herbalist's Containers x5, Large Cork x1.
Name: Lady Foxglove Vainglorious the III
Class: Level 3 Glamorous Ravenhaired Crusader
Status: +1 to head, chest and groinbone defence.
Health: [HP: 85/85]Abilities: Ravena’s Ear,
Silent as a Raven’s Wing,
Opportunistic,
Honeyed Tongue,
Vain,
Self-RelianceInventory: Minor Health Potion x2, Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Masterwork Helm,
Flying Warsquid,
Lance, Sword,
Mercenary Squidrider Uniform,
Masterwork Poledancing Pole,
chainmail lingerie, 34 Yuros, 10 bandages, Decent provisions (day) x4, Live eel x649, Red dragon-scale vest,
Curse Grenade of the Slimy Eel.
Name: Bukkar Crangrom
Class: Level 3 Sprayin' Ragin' Mage
Status:Health: [HP: 55/85] |
The Vomiting!Abilities: Rage Flight,
Rage Lazors I,
Ass of the Flaming Foot I,
Lightning Fist I,
Always Looking For a Fight,
Always HungoverInventory: Sword of Severing! Crossbow, 400 Green Farthings,
Large Sealed Bling Barrel, Large Cork x1, Dragon Body Parts Covered in Bodily Fluids (quantity-small), pick.
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Topic: Roll to Dungeon Quest - It's not you, it's me. (Read 190875 times)