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[lawastooshort]

"But... but I like kicking kittens! It's one of the high points of my day. And if we were good, and invited you in, you'd probably come in and steal stuff! Just look at the size of your bulging inventories, you can't tell me you got all that by being good! Yer great feckers! Ehehehehe!"

GLOMP MODE ENGAGED.

Meanwhile...

…”Eeekkkkkkkkkkks! Eeeek! Ehehehehehehehe! Eeeeeeeeeeeek!”

There’s a scurrying sound, a creak, and, in the darkness, a brief flash of less-darkness and then the loud slamming of a rock door.

Medha is somewhat more alone than she was, but at least she has something which, in the darkness, kind of feels like a squashed and cold naked frog.

[Harry Baldman]

"But... but I like kicking kittens! It's one of the high points of my day. And if we were good, and invited you in, you'd probably come in and steal stuff! Just look at the size of your bulging inventories, you can't tell me you got all that by being good! Yer great feckers! Ehehehehe!"

"I'm not saying you can't kick kittens, obviously. That's your prerogative. But we really have no need to start trouble here, which is likely to happen if you try to haul us in by force or shoot us to death. I'm also not saying you should be good, which is just as silly an idea as being evil. Instead, let's all be reasonable here. I'm sure there is some way we can smooth over the misunderstanding that's developed here - we have no reason to fight you kobolds at all. What's already happened is more the result of hostile wildlife continually assaulting us for no reason. So why can't we be civilized to one another and talk this over, and you can go back home to kick a kitten if you feel like it before the day is done? Hauling the lot of us in is likely to result in no less than three hours of yelling, walking and being generally irritable for all parties, no? And who wants that, really?"

[Xantalos]

Shuffle slowly toward the kobold.

[Toaster]

Hold fire, but if stuff goes south, Gee Whiz and double-barrel Wind Blast kobolds into kobolds.

[lawastooshort]

"And who wants that, really?"

Shuffle slowly toward the kobold.

"Right," says the kobold leader, pointing his crossbow at Gervedder particularly hard, "So you all gonna bugger off back down and off our mountain then? And never come back? Eh? EH?"

His tone of voice and the violence with which he points his crossbow makes it rather clear that he has had enough negotiations for one day, and that the negotiations thus far have rather had an injurious effect on his calm. His calm is not improved upon seeing a moving barrel advance on him menacingly.

"Keep back, foul-smelling barrel-demon! Keep back or I'll shoot yon master!"


((edit: right - I might do a proper turn since I have time before the weekend.))

[Harry Baldman]

"Sure. After all, we only blundered in here by pure accident. We have no reason to bother you lot. So can we just leave, then? 'Bugger off back down', as you put it?"

[lawastooshort]

"Sure. After all, we only blundered in here by pure accident. We have no reason to bother you lot. So can we just leave, then? 'Bugger off back down', as you put it?"

"Er. Yeah. Okay. I... suppose."

The kobold has a slight look of disappointment.

"But we'll be watching you, eh! Don't try anything funny! If you don't go all the way down we'll shoot yer full of... full of crossbow bolts! Ones what we spat on! Eheheeheheh!"

The idea seems to have cheered him up perceptibly.

"Okay lads," he says, turning to his troop, "We're gonna let them go!"

There's a chorus of groaning.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, BUT! If they try any funny stuff, we're gonna shoot 'em! With crossbow bolts what we spat on first! Ehhehehehehe!"

There's a chorus of cheering. A few kobolds get bolts out of quivers, and spit on them. The others keep very beady eyes on the five adventurers.

"Well? What you waiting for, Thursday? Come on! Feck off!"

[Toaster]

Tackov shrugs.


Feck off.  At least a bit.  Stay with the group, at any rate.

[Chink]

Happily feck off down the mountain with the rest of the group.

[Xantalos]

Slop unidentifiable substance onto kobold leader and roll off.

[Harry Baldman]

Stoically feck off right down the mountain.

[Dwarmin]

Lady Foxglove is still checking the script, and hovers off in the direction of the party.

"...what's this about a giant bird? A metaphorical giant bird? Who wrote this tripe?..."

Action: Frack off down the mountain. Read 4th wall script for juicy plot details.

((what a horrible plan. We could have bargained our way INTO the mountain!))

[Harry Baldman]

((what a horrible plan. We could have bargained our way INTO the mountain!))

((But then we would have been at a great disadvantage on the presumably highly numerous enemy's home turf, while a whole bunch of us are quite wounded and lacking in HP. This way, we get to come back later under more favorable circumstances.))

[Xantalos]

((I need to get a healing vomiting ability or something.))

[Dwarmin]

((what a horrible plan. We could have bargained our way INTO the mountain!))

((But then we would have been at a great disadvantage on the presumably highly numerous enemy's home turf, while a whole bunch of us are quite wounded and lacking in HP. This way, we get to come back later under more favorable circumstances.))

((Depends how many more encounters we roll on the way...

Ugggggggh

Edit: On the upside, at least we're leaving Medha behind. I'm sure she'll fit in just fine.))