Turn Eighty TwoRetreat back into my barrel of doom.
...It seems, thinks Bukkar, that he has been hanging around outside this bloody hole in the mountain for ages. Like, nearly a week or something. It's pretty tedious, so he pats Roñardo the Faithful on the shoulder, and strides purposefully past. He gets to his barrel, sloshes it around a bit to release the aromas, and climbs inside, closing the lid after him.
There's a slight delay, and then an eyehole opens up, and a beady little eye presses up against it.
Okay then. Rest a few moments, keep crossbow trained on the hole. If kobolds emerge, shoot. If naked wizards emerge, don't shoot. If a mixture of both emerges, run in circles indecisively.
...Gervedder also feels like he's been here for quite a long time, but he's resting, so it's alright, right? Wait, alright isn't a word? What? He's extremely puzzled for a second, and then gets back to the vital task of training his loaded crossbow on the top of a twenty something foot deep hole that two mages just had to use magic to escape from. Flying magic.
Just then he turns round to see his naked mage colleague standing behind him.
"So uh. Now what?"”That is most unnerving, the way that you... were just standing there, naked. Watching.”Tackov quickly whips out a saucepan, and covers his dignity.
”You're not in the hole? No, clearly not. Hmm.”"Anyway, now what is we wait to see what happens down in the hole?"Uh. Okay? Works for me."Action: Start rapid firing crossbow bolts down the hole! I'm sure to hit something!
Just then there's a slight commotion, which is a relief to all concerned, as nothing has really happened for some time. Except a nail trimming competition and some burning and some noises. Lady Foxglove
swears she saw something move down there!
...She holds down the trigger of her crossbow and a series of bolts blast down into the darkness:
...she's rewarded by three dull thuds and one wailing murderous cursing deathscream!
”Yeah! Oh, I say – is that a passing cloud? A talking passing cloud?”The perceptive lady spins round and
...blasts a couple of bolts off into the suspicious talking cloud, which seems to float away a little, and then gets back to staring into the hole. She tries to feel glamorous, but it's difficult whilst you're peering into a dark hole next to a naked-except-for-a-saucepan mage.
Peer down into the hole, with a crossbow and a bolt ready for shooting.
Acquire clothing!
...Encouraged by Lady Foxglove's pretty competent success, Whiz also looses a bolt into the unknown. Well, what would be unknown if he hadn't just come from there, come to think of it.
His bolt's greeted by a yippery high pitched squeal, and he's just about to celebrate when he suddenly notices that there's a naked mage (except for a strategic saucepan, I know) rummaging about in his inventory. It takes
ages rummaging through Whiz's inventory, but finally Tackov is done.
...He stands there holding his new Fancy Clothes.
Whiz stands there, looking at Tackov holding his old Fancy Clothes
Item Acquired: Tackov Cedtry: Fancy Clothes!
Camp hole. If naked wizards emerge, acquire a blood tithe. If other things emerge, also get a blood tithe. Curse crafting!
...For the second time in a few seconds there's a commotion, albeit a slightly less slight commotion. In fact there's what could probably be called quite a severe commotion, one accompanied by quite a severe scream.
Everybody stops staring at Whiz staring at Tackov and immediately looks round to see the source of the severe screaming.
Everybody except Medha that is.
She seems to have fallen down a hole.
”Help!””Oh, hello! Is that you, Medha?””Yes! Help!””Where have you gone?””Down the hole! I'm down the hole!””Why?””I fell, you idiot!””Look dear. First, you want our help, I presume? Second, you fell down the hole. Choose your words carefully. Why did you fall down the hole?””Look, I didn't do it on purpose! Get me out of here! There's three kobolds down here with me, and I think the live one... I think the live one kind of likes me...””Well, we'll er... we'll look for a rope of some sort?””Please, that would be nice. Oi! Eh! No no no no no. No! Get- Don't- Keep a- No I don't want any- Oh bloody hell. Oh dear. Yes, he seems quite besotted. Can I, er, can I briefly revisit my first point, please?””Which was?””Help!”Lady Foxglove is just about to torture Medha with a witty and withering remark of some sort when there's a bit of a commotion
behind her, this time, and not in the kind of commotion behind you that you might expect if you were Tackov, noted Wind Mage.
The five adventurers who aren't fending off the affections (and, indeed, kind gifts) of a quite distraught kobold in a dingy hole turn as one.
It seems they'd totally forgotten about the quite obvious hole in the side of the mountainside mentioned a few turns ago (the horizontal one, not the vertical one that is Bukkar's fault), which is a shame, because if they hadn't, the dozen kobolds led by a slightly scarier than normal (it's relative though, isn't it, with kobolds) kobold wouldn't have been able to sneak up on them and point crossbows at them in a threatening manner.
The leader speaks.
”Throw down your arms! Come quietly and there'll be no trouble! You are charged with... general trespassing and being a nuisance to our ceiling! The penalties... will be severe! Hahahahah!”Please ask question if necessary.
Name: Tackov Cedtry
Class: Level 3 Gusty Wind Mage
Status: +1 missile defence. -1 to melee. Naked!
Health: [HP: 50/60] |
Severed Guts!Abilities: Magical Typhoon I,
Wind Blast I,
Wind Blast II,
Wind Step I,
Squishy,
Sissy Slap FightInventory: Minor Mana Potion x1,
Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x1, one memorised use of:
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Mouldy Wizard Hat, bits of guts (own), You Bastard the Mangy Donkey,
Cloak of Camouflage, 112 Green Farthings, 17 Yuros, Several heavy rocks, Some ribs, saucepan, Fancy Clothes.
Name: Whiz
Class: Level 3 Whiznificent Whiz Wiz(ard)
Status: +1 to lower leg defence. -1 to social interaction. +1 to balancing.
Health: [HP: 70/85] |
Giant Rat’s Tail!Abilities: Red Carpet,
Shield I,
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast II,
Obviously a Powerful Wizard,
It’ll Make You Blind!Inventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Raider’s Dress of Shin Protection, 37 Yuros,
Middling Mana Potion x1, Cutlass, Three daggers,
Minor Health Potion x2, +1 Bolt of Accuracy x4, +1 Bolt of Burning x3, +1 Bolt of Paralysis x2,
Carrying Serf x0 (not currently mounted).
Name: Medha Correo
Class: Level 3 Alchemist Curse Crafter
Status: +1 to gut defence. +1 to chest defence.
Health: [HP: 46/85] |
Draconic Ribcage!Skull Spider Health: [HP: 25/25]Abilities: Craft Curse Grenade,
Opportunistic Attack I,
Curse Crafter,
Curse of the Fool,
Wandering Asshole,
Curse of the Curse CrafterInventory: Dagger, Half a dress, 71 bandages,
Neckless of the Ribless, Dagger, Lock picking kit,
Iron Cuirass, 211 Yuros, Crossbow,
Brittle Jagged Groinbone Dagger of Good, 4 vials of human blood, 6 vials of kobold blood,
Grenade of the Fool x0, Serpent's Benediction plant x1, Faery-weed x1, A Shiny Stone, Bottle of Dragon Blood, a six foot plank of wood, a rune dagger,
Curse of Being Stepped Upon!.
Name: Gervedder Vietzo
Class: Level 3 Damaged Opportunistic Messenger
Status: +1 to gut and chest defence. +1 defence if moves.
Health: [HP: 40/85]Abilities: Just a Brainflesh Wound,
Nimble Feet,
This Messenger Delivers,
Make Way for the Messenger! Important,
Stop For DirectionsInventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver, 2 bandages, 2 Yuros,
Iron Cuirass, Crossbow, Gerald the Mule, Two weeks rations and a bedroll,
Apprentice Herbalist's Manual,
Herbalist's Containers x5, Large Cork x1.
Name: Lady Foxglove Vainglorious the III
Class: Level 3 Glamorous Ravenhaired Crusader
Status: Extra-presentable! +1 to head, chest and groinbone defence.
Health: [HP: 85/85]Abilities: Ravena’s Ear,
Silent as a Raven’s Wing,
Opportunistic,
Honeyed Tongue,
Vain,
Self-RelianceInventory: Minor Health Potion x2, Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Masterwork Helm,
Flying Warsquid,
Lance, Sword,
Mercenary Squidrider Uniform,
Masterwork Poledancing Pole,
chainmail lingerie, 34 Yuros, 10 bandages, Decent provisions (day) x5, Live eel x699, Red dragon-scale vest,
Curse Grenade of the Slimy Eel.
Name: Bukkar Crangrom
Class: Level 3 Sprayin' Ragin' Mage
Status:Health: [HP: 30/85] |
The Vomiting!Abilities: Rage Flight,
Rage Lazors I,
Ass of the Flaming Foot I,
Lightning Fist I,
Always Looking For a Fight,
Always HungoverInventory: Sword of Severing! Crossbow, 400 Green Farthings,
Large Sealed Bling Barrel, Large Cork x1, Dragon Body Parts Covered in Bodily Fluids (quantity-small), pick.
Author
Topic: Roll to Dungeon Quest - It's not you, it's me. (Read 194303 times)