Turn Seventy SevenPressgang the kobolds into becoming my mining force.
Adopt Foreman title.
If they attack me, Rage Flight out of the hole, get a grenade, and drop it down the hole.
Oi, there you bastards are! …charms Foreman Xantalos,
I've been waiting ages for you. Let's go, let's go, get a move on! We've got a lot of mountain to mine and not much time to do it in!”Okay boss!” shout a dozen tiny little voices. They grab tiny little picks and start making tiny little holes in the floor of their tiny little dormitory.
Well, that was suspiciously easy.Action: Dive bomb the Green Horde with my curse grenade!
"Time to do some LAWN MAINTENANCE!" cries Lady Foxglove, wincing at the terribleness of her quip as she zoops right up into the air, swooshing from a great height and diving down before dropping her curse grenade with tremendous force.
…The force is so tremendous that the grenade explodes into extra tiny pieces, showering dripping curse droplets over every one of the carnivorous plants and also over the entire mountainside and everything on it. And, indeed, everything slightly above it on a flying warsquid.
As she wipes drops of curse off her face, Lady Foxglove remembers to stop whistling, and almost falls off her squid.
Curse Acquired: Lady Foxglove Vainglorious III: Curse of the Fool! -2 to moving!
Curse Acquired: Medha Correo: Curse of the Fool! -2 to moving!
Curse Acquired: Tackov Cedtry: Curse of the Fool! -2 to moving!
Curse Acquired: Gervedder Vietzo: Curse of the Fool! -2 to moving!
Curse Acquired: Whiz el Magnificento Whizzissimo: Curse of the Fool! -2 to moving!
Hand Tackov some one dose of Cureall so he can finally stop vomiting like crazy. Then carefully run about, taking aim at approaching vegetation with crossbow in preparation to fire.
…Rejoicing at seeing many of the carnivorous plants charging towards him suddenly trip and fall flat on their faces, Gervedder pulls out his crossbow, sprints forwards, and sticks the aforementioned crossbow right in one of the aforementioned faces. He cocks the hammer in preparation to fire and tries to think of something menacing to shout at a flower that he's about to execute.
Nothing comes immediately to mind.
Throw the flammable healing potions carpet at the carnivorous plants while quickly backing away, and shoot a +1 blot of Burning at the plants to light them, and the healing potion, on fire.
"Oh, hey,” thinks Whiz,
"I didn't notice that I still had my flammable healing potion carpet with me earlier. Odd. I bet this can’t go wrong in any feasible way whatsoever!"Whiz dashes forwards, waving his sopping wet magically infused alcohol dispensing rug over his head round and round before getting close enough to consider letting go.
…He stands there for a good moment, considering letting go but enjoying spraying highly flammable healing potion over the entire mountainside a bit too much, and then lets go and wangs a great big spume of what smells like expensive fine liqueur towards the horde of killer plants and then backs off.
He reaches back over his shoulder, pulls down his crossbow, and blasts a bolt of fire towards the lake of medicinal whiskey all around him and his foes and his companions, and looks all kind of surprised when the inevitable happens.
Do so!
…Medha’s okay – she jumps on a nearby rock and makes some excuses about feeling a bit too poorly to burn to death today – but her exposed comrades are not so lucky.
The first thing that's noticeable is a huge blast of heat, and a kind of sucking out of air as the mountainside goes up in flame in a five hundred foot radius centered on where Whiz was whirling his wet rug; the next thing is a hideous squealing as a small platoon of vicious murderflowers first dries, then ignites, and then burns to papery dust.
...Almost immediately, Gervedder, who had been standing inches away from one of the poor carnivorous plants, catches on fire: his first reaction is to drop and roll, but he very quickly realises that he is rolling about in a bunch of fire, so gets up and stops.
Fire Acquired: Gervedder Vietzo:
Head Fire!...Lady Foxglove, shimmering above the inferno on her warquid, looks down on her companions with an expression that is both aghast and unsurprised at the same time: she's about to revert to her practised appearance of sang froid and disdain when the warsquid realises it's floating just above an enormous fire, and the sudden blast of hot air sends its shooting uncontrollably six hundred feet into the air. Foxglove squeals a bit, and is very much relieved when no one seems to notice.
...Whiz is next, or is at least the next burning adventurer Medha notices, his alcohol-drenched hands bursting alight like particularly well made torches. He panics, and starts running blindly down the mountain trail, but he only gets as far as Tackov when the wind mage holds up his hand, realising he can save the day.
Fire Acquired: Whiz el Magnificento Whizzissimo:
Burning Hands!Try to Wind Blast II as many plants as I can off the cliff path.
"Crikey! But don't worry chaps! With the wind at my command, I can blast this fire back unto whence it came, or something! I'm fairly sure this can't go wrong in any possible way!"Whiz stops and stands and stares: fire rages all about, and is tearing its way towards Tackov like a tide.
…Suddenly Tackov shoots forward, as if propelled by a massive gust of wind: he shoots forward about half a mile, through a great quantity of flame, before shooting back in a wildly zigzagging series of S shapes, catching fire here, fanning flames there, and then flying like some kind of burning homing wizard directly at Whiz, who stands, and stares, and ducks, and follows round with his head as Tackov flies past where Whiz is standing, and shoots directly and, his clothes having burnt off mid-flight, nakedly down Bukkar's hole and into the kobold dormitory.
...He drops the twenty or so feet through the mountain, escaping from the inferno above into first blackness and then the dim mouldy kobold light below, and lands on a nearby cooking utensil.
It pierces his external dragon guts, and they explode with a huge boom, filling the small room with a large fire ball and blasting Tackov off the floor and against the nearest wall where he crushes a kobold into a squishy mess behind him. He sees, as he slides slowly down the wall, the eleven surviving kobolds run around wildly, shriek loudly, burn intensely, and then collapse to the ground.
Thankfully much of the furniture and bedding in the room is damp, as kobolds prefer it, and the fire quickly peters out, except for those bits of it on Tackov and Bukkar's faces.
Bukkar looks really pissed, thinks Tackov. And on fire. It's hard to tell, it has to be said, but Tackov definitely thinks Bukkar looks pissed. And on fire.
Tackov retches a little, tries to hold it in, fails, and vomits apologetically over his feet.
Fire Acquired: Tackov Cedtry:
Facial Fire!Fire Acquired: Bukkar Crangrom:
Facial Fire!Whiz and Medha and Gervedder are on the narrow burning mountain path; Lady Foxglove is a few hundred feet above them, fending off a sudden attack of vertigo.
To the left of the non-flying threesome is a ravine. To the right is a cliff side, with a door sized hole in it. Behind is a 20 foot deep hole.
Bukkar and Tackov are in the non-burning mouldy kobold-hole, with a dozen kobold corpses and a bunch of face fire.
Please ask question if necessary.
Name: Tackov Cedtry
Class: Level 3 Gusty Wind Mage
Status: +1 missile defence. -1 to melee. Naked! -2 to moving 2 more turns.
Health: [HP: 50/60] |
The Vomiting! |
Severed Guts! |
Facial Fire!Abilities: Magical Typhoon I,
Wind Blast I,
Wind Blast II,
Wind Step I,
Squishy,
Sissy Slap FightInventory: Minor Mana Potion x1,
Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x1, one memorised use of:
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Mouldy Wizard Hat, bits of guts (own), You Bastard the Mangy Donkey,
Cloak of Camouflage, 1 Green Farthing, Several heavy rocks, Some ribs, Scroll of
Airfist I,
Cureall.
Name: Whiz
Class: Level 3 Whiznificent Whiz Wiz(ard)
Status: +1 to lower leg defence. -1 to social interaction. +1 to balancing. -2 to moving 2 more turns.
Health: [HP: 65/85] |
Giant Rat’s Tail! |
Burning Hands!Abilities: Red Carpet,
Shield I,
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast II,
Obviously a Powerful Wizard,
It’ll Make You Blind!Inventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Raider’s Dress of Shin Protection, 37 Yuros, Fancy Clothes,
Middling Mana Potion x1, Cutlass, Three daggers,
Minor Health Potion x2, +1 Bolt of Accuracy x4, +1 Bolt of Burning x3, +1 Bolt of Paralysis x2,
Middling Health Potion x1,
Carrying Serf x0 (not currently mounted).
Name: Medha Correo
Class: Level 3 Alchemist Curse Crafter
Status: +1 to gut defence. +1 to chest defence. -2 to moving 2 more turns.
Health: [HP: 25/85] |
Draconic Ribcage!Skull Spider Health: [HP: 25/25]Abilities: Craft Curse Grenade,
Opportunistic Attack I,
Curse Crafter,
Curse of the Fool,
Wandering Asshole,
Curse of the Curse CrafterInventory: Dagger, Half a dress, 73 bandages,
Neckless of the Ribless, Dagger, Lock picking kit,
Iron Cuirass, 211 Yuros, Crossbow,
Brittle Jagged Groinbone Dagger of Good, 4 vials of human blood, 6 vials of kobold blood,
Grenade of the Fool x0, Serpent's Benediction plant x1, Faery-weed x1, A Shiny Stone, Bottle of Dragon Blood, a six foot plank of wood, a rune dagger.
Name: Gervedder Vietzo
Class: Level 3 Damaged Opportunistic Messenger
Status: +1 to gut and chest defence. +1 defence if moves. -2 to moving 2 more turns.
Health: [HP: 75/85] |
Head Fire!Abilities: Just a Brainflesh Wound,
Nimble Feet,
This Messenger Delivers,
Make Way for the Messenger! Important,
Stop For DirectionsInventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver, 2 bandages, 2 Yuros,
Iron Cuirass, Crossbow, Gerald the Mule, Two weeks rations and a bedroll,
Apprentice Herbalist's Manual,
Herbalist's Containers x5, Large Cork x1.
Name: Lady Foxglove Vainglorious the III
Class: Level 3 Glamorous Ravenhaired Crusader
Status: Extra-presentable! +1 to head, chest and groinbone defence. -2 to moving 2 more turns.
Health: [HP: 85/85]Abilities: Ravena’s Ear,
Silent as a Raven’s Wing,
Opportunistic,
Honeyed Tongue,
Vain,
Self-RelianceInventory: Minor Health Potion x2, Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Masterwork Helm,
Flying Warsquid,
Lance, Sword,
Mercenary Squidrider Uniform,
Masterwork Poledancing Pole,
chainmail lingerie, 34 Yuros, 10 bandages, Decent provisions (day) x5, Live eel x700,
Grenade of the Fool x1, Red dragon-scale vest.
Name: Bukkar Crangrom
Class: Level 3 Sprayin' Ragin' Mage
Status:Health: [HP: 75/85] |
The Vomiting! |
Facial Fire!Abilities: Rage Flight,
Rage Lazors I,
Ass of the Flaming Foot I,
Lightning Fist I,
Always Looking For a Fight,
Always HungoverInventory: Sword of Severing! Crossbow, 400 Green Farthings,
Large Sealed Bling Barrel, Large Cork x1, Dragon Body Parts Covered in Bodily Fluids (quantity-small), pick.
Author
Topic: Roll to Dungeon Quest - It's not you, it's me. (Read 194339 times)