Turn Seventy FourLoot the place. Focus on minerals, raw materials and shiny things.
"Huzzah!" cries Medha, all but fainting with joy at her new chestbone,
"Off to loot!"...She potters about the charcoaled remains of the mining camp, and is almost pleased when she finds some coal, a six foot plank of wood, and a wheel barrow-load of iron ore.
Almost pleased.
Examine the scroll.
Accidentally bash into Tackov's legs at high speed. Accidentally laugh snidely as I accidentally steal the pick he picked up.
"Hmm," thinks Tackov, successfully examining the scroll,
"Definitely a scroll. That's good."He scratches behind his right ear with his forefinger for a second, gazing thoughtfully at a distant mountain and the wafting shadow of a passing cloud playing upon it.
"Gosh, wait, crikey!" ...he exclaims, turning the scroll over as a barrel rolls past him,
...steals a pickaxe from his pocket, and vomits profusely but thankfully not contagiously on his foot,
"It's a scroll with writing on! If I remember correctly, that's the wording for the spell of Airfist I, one of my favourite spells!"Action: Order the Dragon Skinner to collect my victory scales! He'll get to keep the bounty if he makes me a red dragonscale vest
The nearby Lady Foxglove is feeling less thoughtful, and more actionful. Or orderful. Or something.
"Dragon Skinner!" she shouts, in her most orderful voice,
"Get to work! I want that beast's hide draping from my bosom by sundown!
Doctor, I order you to tell me why you are fire!
Water bucket man-you have a bucket of water, idiot! Use it on yourself!"”I... the... er...” replies the doctor, unable to diagnose himself, but Lady Foxglove doesn't care. The dragon-skinner is working at a tremendous speed, and she is enthralled, enchanted,
besotted by the red dragonscale vest she can see taking form before her very eyes.
"Crikey," she half-whispers, after making sure no one is within ear-range,
"Gosh."...Not long later, Lady Foxglove's lovely bosom is draped from top to... toe in luxurious red dragon-scale. She looks
amazing.
She feels slightly more pleased with herself than usual, if such a thing is possible.
There's still dragon bits around, right? Get some dragon guts. Do a transplant on Tackov. We're ready to move onto the big leagues. Should Bukkar attempt funny business, offer his peasant an opportunity to become an esteemed nurse rather than stay in a dead-end position like pulling a belligerent, mostly drunk adventurer around.
"Roñardo," shouts Gervedder, not far off,
"Roñardo!"”Si, señor?”"Roñardo, you like pulling the stinking gringo?" ”Si, señor.”"Oh. Ok. Let's get these guts sorted out then, eh Tackov? Nothing to it, piece of cake compared to a full ribcage transplant. Sure I flicked past a page on the subject in me herbalist's 101."He rummages around,
...successfully, for a convenient set of dragon's guts.
"Piece of cake? Flicked past? Herbalist's 101? 101?""Do not worry about this, my friend. Would I do something in which I had not complete faith? No, oh faithful wizard, I would not. Now, just lean back, like so, open up your lovely robe, and..."A few minutes pass. Tackov wonders, to himself, what the sudden and hideous pain is. Probably just a routine part of the procedure, he decides.
"Almost done," says Gervedder.
"Guts are all in place, just got to sew you back up.""Ooh, tremendous, Doctor Gervedder! I feel... guttier already! Do they look good?""Well, Tackov, I think the scar will look nice and clean – good, if you will. But it's hard to tell if the guts will look good – they're an internal org-" Gervedder shuts his eyes and sighs.
..."Crap."External Guts Acquired: Tackov Cedtry:
External Dragon Guts!Roll around in the healing potion and try to absorb its while splashing it on everybody and everything.
"I love healing potions," says Whiz, also nearby, and also to himself, as he rolls about on his sopping wet rug. He picks it up, still dripping – literally pouring, in fact – and starts galloping around the site of the smouldering mining camp. He's so excited by the massive excess of healing potion that he strips entirely naked as he runs, soaking red rug in one hand, gleefully flung clothes briefly in the other, sprinting as hard as he can around the perimeter of the camp, whirling his healing potion-soaked carpet about his head,
...spraying highly flammable healing potion around the embers of the tents and huts, and into the dry pines separating the camp from the encroaching forest fire caused only last turn by Lady Foxglove's idiot bucket-carrier.
In seconds there is a wall of fire sixty foot tall surrounding the camp on three sides, with only the path back to the main trail seeming to offer any free passage and escape from the flames.
The smoke, although the adventurers wouldn't know, as they aren't dozens of miles away, can be seen from dozens of miles away.
Current Players:Name: Tackov Cedtry
Class: Level 3 Gusty Wind Mage
Status: +1 missile defence. -1 to melee. Dressed! Explosive guts!
Health: [HP: 60/60] |
The Vomiting! |
Severed Guts! |
External Dragon Guts!Abilities: Magical Typhoon I,
Wind Blast I,
Wind Blast II,
Wind Step I,
Squishy,
Sissy Slap FightInventory: Minor Mana Potion x1,
Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x1, one memorised use of:
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Mouldy Wizard Hat, bits of guts (own), You Bastard the Mangy Donkey,
Cloak of Camouflage, 1 Green Farthing, Several heavy rocks, Strange Scroll, Some ribs, Scroll of
Airfist I.
Name: Whiz
Class: Level 3 Whiznificent Whiz Wiz(ard)
Status: +1 to lower leg defence. -1 to social interaction. +1 to balancing. -1 to dodge. -1 to head defence. Summoned Carpet (leaks healing potion) for three more turns.
Health: [HP: 85/85] |
Giant Rat’s Tail! |
Broken Chest! |
Broken Head!Abilities: Red Carpet,
Shield I,
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast II,
Obviously a Powerful Wizard,
It’ll Make You Blind!Inventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Raider’s Dress of Shin Protection, 37 Yuros, Fancy Clothes,
Middling Mana Potion x1, Cutlass, Three daggers,
Minor Health Potion x2, +1 Bolt of Accuracy x4, +1 Bolt of Burning x4, +1 Bolt of Paralysis x2,
Middling Health Potion x1,
Carrying Serf x0 (not currently mounted).
Name: Medha Correo
Class: Level 3 Alchemist Curse Crafter
Status: +1 to gut defence. +1 to chest defence.
Health: [HP: 13/85] |
Draconic Ribcage!Skull Spider Health: [HP: 25/25]Abilities: Craft Curse Grenade,
Opportunistic Attack I,
Curse Crafter,
Curse of the Fool,
Wandering Asshole,
Curse of the Curse CrafterInventory: Dagger, Half a dress, 73 bandages,
Neckless of the Ribless, Dagger, Lock picking kit,
Iron Cuirass, 211 Yuros, Crossbow,
Brittle Jagged Groinbone Dagger of Good, 4 vials of human blood, 6 vials of kobold blood,
Grenade of the Fool x0, Serpent's Benediction plant x1, Faery-weed x1, A Shiny Stone, Bottle of Dragon Blood, some coal, a six foot plank of wood, and a wheel barrow-load of iron ore.
Name: Gervedder Vietzo
Class: Level 3 Damaged Opportunistic Messenger
Status: +1 to gut and chest defence. +1 defence if moves.
Health: [HP: 85/85]Abilities: Just a Brainflesh Wound,
Nimble Feet,
This Messenger Delivers,
Make Way for the Messenger! Important,
Stop For DirectionsInventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver, 2 bandages, 2 Yuros,
Iron Cuirass, Crossbow, Gerald the Mule, Two weeks rations and a bedroll,
Cureall,
Apprentice Herbalist's Manual,
Herbalist's Containers x5, Large Cork x1.
Name: Lady Foxglove Vainglorious the III
Class: Level 3 Glamorous Ravenhaired Crusader
Status: Extra-presentable! +1 to head, chest and groinbone defence.
Health: [HP: 85/85]Abilities: Ravena’s Ear,
Silent as a Raven’s Wing,
Opportunistic,
Honeyed Tongue,
Vain,
Self-RelianceInventory: Minor Health Potion x2, Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Masterwork Helm,
Flying Warsquid,
Lance, Sword,
Mercenary Squidrider Uniform,
Masterwork Poledancing Pole,
chainmail lingerie, 34 Yuros, 10 bandages, Decent provisions (day) x5, Live eel x700,
Grenade of the Fool x1, Red dragon-scale vest.
Name: Bukkar Crangrom
Class: Level 3 Sprayin' Ragin' Mage
Status:Health: [HP: 85/85] |
The Vomiting!Abilities: Rage Flight,
Rage Lazors I,
Ass of the Flaming Foot I,
Lightning Fist I,
Always Looking For a Fight,
Always HungoverInventory: Sword of Severing! Crossbow, 400 Green Farthings,
Large Sealed Bling Barrel, Large Cork x1, Dragon Body Parts Covered in Bodily Fluids (quantity-small), pick.