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Author Topic: Roll to Dungeon Quest - It's not you, it's me.  (Read 193230 times)

Errol

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.71
« Reply #915 on: September 29, 2013, 04:06:44 am »

yes i like you too

but should i not save you when your ass is on the line

because you still have the option of unsubscribing from that service yknow
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lawastooshort

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Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.72
« Reply #916 on: October 02, 2013, 11:18:01 am »

Turn Seventy Two

Concentrate on unbreaking Whiz's important bits if this is possible. Then wonder if a ribcage counts as a severed limb in this crazy world we currently inhabit. If so, reattach Medha's ribcage with available supplies.

With the debris of massive damage scattered all about, the party takes a second’s pause.

"That certainly went quite swimmingly aside from all the horrid and possibly lethal injuries,” points out Gervedder, "I should probably make myself useful somehow."

"Pff, those were weak little Dragons! Totally anti-climactic!"

"Yes..." muses the Messenger. "Whiz is still under one though. He doesn’t look that comfortable."

Gervedder pushes idly at the dragon corpse with his foot. It doesn’t budge.

Lady Foxglove lands, after mocking the rather hideously deformed Medha, and gives the dead dragon a bit of a shove. It doesn’t move.

But then, in a heart-warming collage type scene of coming together and cooperation in the face of adversity, Tackov comes to help; the grotesquely mangled Medha stumbles across; and finally Bukkar rolls back over in his stenchbarrel.

Pooling their strength together in some kind of metaphor for something, the five brave adventurers heave and pull, push and tug, until, finally, a miracle is bestowed upon them! The dead dragon rolls over, revealing a rather flat and broken wizard underneath.

"Whiz! You did the very thing I ordered you not to do!" greets Foxglove fondly, "You know, it seems to have done your figure a world of good. You look almost tolerable."

”Mnnggg.”

Use a Gee Whiz, use Red Carpet to create a carpet that spews out healing potions, and drink one of my Minor Health Potions.

With the great help of various medical experts, Gervedder looks Whiz up and down. He diagnoses the poor man with a broken head, possible broken brain, broken chest, and acute flatness – only two of which can be addressed with a great quantity of bandages, although, of course, acute flatness can be cosmetically fixed with bandages in the right place, he reflects. As Tackov holds down his colleague’s legs and Foxglove offers helpful  advice regarding the best colour of bandage to complement Whiz’s severe bleeding, Gervedder wraps bandage after bandage around the groaning mage.

They immediately flood with dark crimson and become warm and soggy to the touch.

"Hmm. I’m afraid that broken bones aren’t entirely my area of specialism, my dear Whiz. How does it sound if I sever your head and chest and then reattach them?"

At this kind offer, Whiz seems to perk up.

”Mnnnnggggg!”

Crawling to his knees he casts some kind of spell which seems to enable him to groan twice as fast. He downs a healing potion and, although no one can see it for the blood-sodden bandages wrapped around it, his head immediately ceases to bleed.

He looks down forlornly at his smashed chest, and with a painful wave of his hand summons… a rug?

It appears at his feet, and appears to be leaking: Whiz lets himself fall over and starts licking the rug, slurping up the lovely sweet goodness before it soaks into the ground beneath.

Gervedder and his assistant surgeons are too moderately repulsed – although not terribly surprised – by this behaviour to notice the blood in Whiz’s bandages appear to seep back into the poor crushed casualty.

They certainly notice him get back to his feet though.

Healing potion dribbles all over his chin as he speaks.

”Mnnnnnnnngggggggg, gnnngg!”

"Don’t er… don’t mention it?"

The barrel clanks about, and a voice is heard within shouting in joy. Then a hand pops out of the barrel and begins gathering up dragon bits.

Gather up dragon bits, regret nonexistence of slo-mo replay.

Meanwhile a rather distracted Bukkar is rolling about the field of battle in his barrel, here and there stopping to stuff a bit of dragon into his black hole.

He hates everyone, because they got to see him being amazing, and he didn’t.

He thinks back, in his mind’s eye seeing his magnificent barrel fly through the air, flung by his magnificent Mexican peasant Roñardo’s magnificent muscular arms, flying with his fist outstretched protruding from the barrel, the barrel of joy, death, and bodily fluids, flying right through the fiendish dragon of death and annihilating it in one magnificent blow!

Tremendous.

Go ahead and try to help ribcage fixing up attempts because there's fashionable and then there's overdoing it.

Bukkar’s reminiscing is suddenly interrupted when he hears a tiny tiny voice from somewhere and uses a temporary joy bonus to locate its source – the unfortunate Medha. Out of friendship, pity, and joy he fishes a nice glass bottle out of who knows where and fills it with some nearby dragon blood. He manages to carry it to Medha without instinctively drinking it, and offers it.

”Thank you, Bukkar. I haven’t told many men this before, but you were awesome. Thank you.”

Deep within his stench, Bukkar blushes.

Just as Medha is about to faint, Tackov suddenly appears and stops her from falling.

”Medic!! We need a doctor over here! Quick!”

Gervedder appears, stares with horror at where Medha has been transformed into a ruined barbecue, and strokes where a beard might be if he were ever scruffy enough to grow one.

"Hmm. Now, tell me," he says, addressing the woozy patient, "Is this a burning type of wound, or a severing type of wound? You know," he says, unfortunately thinking too much, "It’s a burning kind of wound, isn’t it." He shakes his head. "Terribly sorry old chap. Nothing I can do for you. Perhaps we should just get to yon kobold cave before you do anything else silly?"

Spoiler: GM’s notes (click to show/hide)
Current Players:
Spoiler: Tackov Cedtry, Toaster (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Whiz, Chink (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Medha Correo, Errol (click to show/hide)
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.72
« Reply #917 on: October 02, 2013, 11:32:50 am »

"Hm... wait, this does not entirely look like a burn. Perhaps the ribcage cannot be saved, but... maybe a new one will work?"

Obtain dragon parts and try to replace Medha's severed bits with them.

It should be noted that the exact nature of the parts is a secondary concern - as long as they seem like they roughly fit, roll with it.
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Toaster

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.72
« Reply #918 on: October 02, 2013, 12:29:49 pm »

Tackov, realizing his expertise is not needed here, does what comes naturally to an adventurer- loot.


Loot the area.
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
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Xantalos

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.72
« Reply #919 on: October 02, 2013, 12:35:36 pm »

Join Tackov in looting, tossing any ribs I find over to Medea.

Bukkar glares at the fourth wall imagined people teasing him.
Shut up voices I'm not thinking that way. Yargh punch booze loot stuff.
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Dwarmin

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.72
« Reply #920 on: October 02, 2013, 01:11:12 pm »

"No one ruin the hide of the Dragon that I killed by myself, till I've brought a skinner!" Lady Foxglove said, flooping toward town on her squid. Her arrow shot had been by the book, preserving as much as the skin as possible-she might be able get a red dragon leather jacket after all-and maybe new headwear...her poor hat was sort of droopy after taking so much damage, she thought sadly, flying away past Medha's mangled form.

Action: Floop my way to town and report I've managed to kill the Dragons-summon the water bucket brigade to help put out the fire, healers to heal the wounded, and some dragon-skinners...
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Errol

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.72
« Reply #921 on: October 02, 2013, 01:48:40 pm »

Assist in constructing some sort of ribcage. Hmmm... if one were to take some metal from over there, a bit of scale... is that dragon soul still around?
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Chink

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.72
« Reply #922 on: October 03, 2013, 11:34:07 am »

Bottle as much of the healing potion as I can, and keep slurping it up to restore health.
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lawastooshort

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Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.73
« Reply #923 on: October 04, 2013, 03:23:43 pm »

Turn Seventy Three

Obtain dragon parts and try to replace Medha's severed bits with them.

It should be noted that the exact nature of the parts is a secondary concern - as long as they seem like they roughly fit, roll with it.


At the smouldering mining camp, Dr Vietzo is having second thoughts.

"Hm... wait, this does not entirely look like a burn."

He leans over his patient a bit further. Nurse Tackov, his curious assistant, helps him lean forward a little, and then leans forward himself.

"You know, if I remember my anatomy classes correctly, human ribcages and dragon ribcages are very much alike. I believe their DNA is as much as 97% shared!"

He turns to Nurse Tackov.

"Nurse, fetch me a dragon ribcage!"

Nurse Tackov decides that this is a load of old nonsense, and doesn't come back.

He's too busy looting.

Loot the area.

...Tackov is, more specifically, too busy looting a pick, several heavy rocks, an armful of ribs, and a strange looking scroll of paper, with strange looking writing written on it.

He stuffs the lot in his inventory.

Join Tackov in looting, tossing any ribs I find over to Medea.

...Not a great distance behind Tackov comes Bukkar. Lest we forget, he now lives in barrel, with his own personal collection of bodily fluids. He is looking for ribs, amongst other things, but everywhere he follows Tackov appears to be entirely bereft of ribs. Or heavy rocks. Or even the pick he might expect to find in a mining camp.

Hmm.

Bottle as much of the healing potion as I can, and keep slurping it up to restore health.

Back at the horrifying burns patient department, Whiz has had an amazing idea: he could bottle his seemingly endless magic potion! What's even better is he's only just emptied a bottle! A bottle meant especially for magic potion!

He jumps in the air with joy, lands, and hears a crack.

”Bugger.”

Disappointed, he gets down on his hands and knees and slurps all over his magic carpet until he feels entirely satiated.

...He rolls over onto his back, looks at the sky, and burps.

Assist in constructing some sort of ribcage. Hmmm... if one were to take some metal from over there, a bit of scale... is that dragon soul still around?

A few feet away, Nurse Medha is helping Doctor Vietzo – she can call him Doctor Gervedder – insert some kind of slightly oversized ribcage into her own – and this is the convenient bit – ribcage-shaped hole!

...She has to look away a little when he does the thing with the bits of string and her liver, and grimaces a little when he bashes it into place with the heel of his shoe, and doesn't really understand what the spit and blades of grass are for but, amazingly, the operation is a success.

Medha's not quite sure exactly why Gervedder assures her that she has to not look at her new transplanted ribcage for, ooh, say, several months, to aid the healing process, but then she's not a doctor, so she takes his word for it.

Action: Floop my way to town and report I've managed to kill the Dragons-summon the water bucket brigade to help put out the fire, healers to heal the wounded, and some dragon-skinners...

Just then Lady Foxglove Vainglorious III arrives back at the camp, somehow having managed to fly to town and back in the time it took Tackov to pick up some rocks.

...Running after her are a dragon-skinner, a water bucket carrier, and a doctor. For some reason these last two seem to be on fire, and the burning water bucket carrier suddenly leaps in a blind panic into nearby pine tree. It's tinder-dry, and flames almost immediately leap up about sixty feet in the air, soon spreading in every direction behind the oblivious but rather fantastic looking Foxglove. If anything the raging fire background rather complements her hair.

”I say!” she says, arriving before her grateful colleagues, ”I've brought a dragon-skinner with me! And a water bucket man for the smouldering ruins here, and a doctor for silly old Medha. Oh, you seem to have recovered. That's rather selfish of you.”

Spoiler: GM’s notes (click to show/hide)
Current Players:
Spoiler: Tackov Cedtry, Toaster (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Whiz, Chink (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Medha Correo, Errol (click to show/hide)
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Xantalos

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.73
« Reply #924 on: October 04, 2013, 03:29:06 pm »

Accidentally bash into Tackov's legs at high speed. Accidentally laugh snidely as I accidentally steal the pick he picked up.
« Last Edit: October 04, 2013, 03:35:52 pm by Xantalos »
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.73
« Reply #925 on: October 04, 2013, 05:10:57 pm »

"So, yes. Keep it covered, don't look at it and don't pick at it, for the love of the few things that remain reasonably pure and undefiled in this world. As long as you don't do any of that, you should be rather fine."

There's still dragon bits around, right? Get some dragon guts. Do a transplant on Tackov. We're ready to move onto the big leagues. Should Bukkar attempt funny business, offer his peasant an opportunity to become an esteemed nurse rather than stay in a dead-end position like pulling a belligerent, mostly drunk adventurer around.
« Last Edit: October 05, 2013, 04:10:15 am by Harry Baldman »
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Chink

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.73
« Reply #926 on: October 05, 2013, 12:55:18 am »

"I love healing potions."

Roll around in the healing potion and try to absorb its while splashing it on everybody and everything.
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Dwarmin

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.73
« Reply #927 on: October 05, 2013, 04:08:16 am »

"Dragon Skinner! Get to work! I want that beasts hide draping from my bosom by sundown!

Doctor, I order you to tell me why you are fire!

Water bucket man-you have a bucket of water, idiot! Use it on yourself!"


Action: Order the Dragon Skinner to collect my victory scales! He'll get to keep the bounty if he makes me a red dragonscale vest
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Toaster

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.73
« Reply #928 on: October 05, 2013, 09:26:11 pm »

((You know, Tackov would give you the pick if you asked.))

Tackov looks at his PHAT LEWT.  Well, the scroll was interesting.

Examine the scroll.
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
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Xantalos

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.73
« Reply #929 on: October 05, 2013, 09:27:49 pm »

((You know, Tackov would give you the pick if you asked.))
((More character development required for Bukkar to do that, though.))
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XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
Quote from: Toaster
((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))
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