Turn Fifty FourRun! Mount the skull spider! Chase after the not-burning kobold, give him a good ol' tripping curse, and fall back, poised to strike on the burning portion of the kobold ambush!
The burning hedgerow crackles its way towards Medha and Foxglove, prompting the young curse crafter to stop waving her crossbow towards the burning kobolds whispering something that sounds very much like “pew pew” to herself and engage fully in the conversation Lady Foxglove seems very keen to strike up. She becomes a little more aware of the scorching rapidly moving heat.
"MOVE!""YOU DON'T NEED TO TELL ME TWIIIIICE! IN FACT YOU DIDN'T EVEN NEED TO TELL ME ONCE!"...She pushes her way through the straggly hedge back towards her faithful mount, climbs without a great deal of dignity aboard, and stops to stare at Gervedder charge through the group of burning kobolds, through the burning bush, and
...streak, although not in that sense, in a blur of flame and movement, across the field after his gibbering midget victim.
Charge after non-burning kobold, fire a crossbow bolt into its hindquarters - highly painful, but ultimately the least dangerous of wounds.
...Gervedder is on fire, but somewhat lost in the chase, and doesn't even notice when the flames rippling across his iron cuirass slowly toast him a little, flicker, and vanish. He catches up to within spitting distance of the fleeing kobold, drops to one knee, aims,
...and severs the kobold's hindquarters.
The kobold tumbles forward, sticky dark blood spurting into the air, and crawls.
He doesn't get very far before an enormous spider – grown or constructed, it's hard to tell – lollops over, stabs him through the back, lifts him into the air, and eats him. Or her. Or it.
”Medha...”"SORRY!"The vigorous rubs being applied to the bonespider's head betray Medha's slight lack of sincerity; the curse crafter and the messenger head slowly but alertly back towards the burning hedgerow.
"It's not like he wasn't totally bleeding to death from a severed arse anyway..."Stop drop roll
If Gerdevver misses, Wind Blast the runner straight up. If not, wind blast the healthiest looking kobold into the second healthiest looking one.
Ooh! Jump into the kobold horde, drag one away, piledriver him then punch him into the skies with the lightning fist. Then see how long he can juggle him.
...Back on the road, half of the remaining kobolds frantically jerk about on the dirty surface, roll to their feet, and look about them.
There's a hedgerow inferno behind them, and all they can see, apart from the charred corpses of their friends, is the giant who seems to have caused it.
They shoot, and then dash into the non-burning cover in front of them.
...Not for the first time tonight, their shooting is woeful. They push through the hedgerow, find something invisible blocking their way, and run back into and down the road towards Bletchley in an even more terrified blind panic when the lead kobold seems to suddenly be hurled backwards through the bush, accompanied by bits of the poor bugger who'd been just behind him.
A brown clothed mage suddenly appears in the darkness.
He watches them run, and watches his companion, the Mage of Rage Bukkar Crangrom, jump to his feet and sprint down the road in a lung-exploding run after the defeated creatures.
...After a slight wait there's a crackle of damp lightning and, almost immediately after, a shattering roar of disappointment.
”They got away then...”Command my hoard of followers onward, towards our destination! Make sure to avoid the pretty lights and the inferno. Might as well take a pot shot with a normal bolt at the sole non-burning koblod, as well.
"Yep! Looks like that's been dealt with. Moving onward!”Whiz, the inferno-causing giant, strolls forward on the shoulders of his serf. He surveys his domain.
In front of him, to the east, or southeastish, the road to Bletchley stretches into the night. To his left, the cinders of what was once a hedgerow crackle and smoke gently about fifty feet in either direction. And all around him, on the floor, there lie half a dozen blackened bodies – small bodies – and at least four or five times as many naked, pierced and... kind of smelly, like bad personal hygiene exacerbated by frantic drumming and dancing covered by cheap cheap incense and demented fanaticism and- wait...
"You two are my followers? Bugger. Well, onwards anyway chaps! We'll er... we'll find some more truthseekers in the next town!”There's a gallant but weak cheer, and Whiz's carrier moves forward.
...He advances at least three feet before stepping on a poisoned caltop, collapsing to the ground, and dying.
Whiz's remaining follower kicks his erstwhile co-follower's corpse determinedly for a few minutes to atone for the eejit's desecration of the Great One's person, if desecration is a suitable euphemism for dropping from a height of six feet, and proudly lifts the wizard onto his own shoulders.
He gets over a metre without dying, and smiles to himself.
Action: Escape the fire and get back to my horse!
...Fifty feet further back down the road, Lady Foxglove Vainglorious III is working out the best way to both retain one's dignity and traverse, with reasonable speed, a prickly hedgerow. She is just about to decide that retaining one's dignity really does not matter quite as much as retaining one's status of not being burnt to death – a lesson her great uncle once taught her in a horrifyingly practical way – when there's a disgusting, sickening whistling sound, the kind of sound one might expect to hear as the death rattle of a w-
”Oh goddess. Squids. What a fool.”The pretty lights are close now: there's twelve of them, flying towards Lady Foxglove at head height in arrow formation.
The riders on the flying squids lower their lances and charge.
So, the apex of the slow bend in the road is, on the north/left side, a smoking bush barbecue. Tackov and Whiz are here. Whiz is on his mount; You Bastard the Mangy Donkey is somewhere about too, being grumpy at Gerald the Mule.
About fifty foot back/west, on the inferno side of the road, is Lady Foxglove the Glorious Rearguard, and less than half that distance away are six flying squid riders, one of whom is evidently in charge. Lady Foxglove's horse is close on the other side of the bush.
Around fifty feet to the north of Tackov and Whiz are Gervedder, Medha, and the bonespider.
Some way along the road towards Bletchley is a disappointed Bukkar.
Current Players:Name: Tackov Cedtry
Class: Level 2 Wind Mage
Status: –1 to social interaction. -1 to melee. Invisible until next turn.
Health: [HP: 55/55] |
The Vomiting! |
Leprified Face! |
Severed Right Arm!Abilities: Magical Typhoon I,
Wind Blast I,
Wind Step I,
Squishy,
Sissy Slap FightInventory: Minor Mana Potion x1,
Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x1, one memorised use of:
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Mouldy Wizard Hat, severed arm, severed face, You Bastard the Mangy Donkey.
Name: Whiz
Class: Level 2 Whiz Wiz(ard)
Status: -1 to lower leg damage. -1 to social interaction. +1 to balancing.
Health: [HP: 80/80] |
Giant Rat’s Tail!Abilities: Shield I,
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast II,
Obviously a Powerful Wizard,
It’ll Make You Blind!Inventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Raider’s Dress of Shin Protection, 37 Yuros, Fancy Clothes,
Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x1,
Middling Mana Potion x1, Cutlass, Three daggers,
Minor Health Potion x3, +1 Bolt of Accuracy x4, +1 Bolt of Burning x4, +1 Bolt of Paralysis x2,
Middling Health Potion x1, Carrying Serf.
Name: Medha Correo
Class: Level 2 Curse Crafter
Status: -1 to gut damage. +1 to chest damage.
Health: [HP: 80/80] |
Severed Rib! |
Severed Rib!Skull Spider Health: [HP: 25/25]Abilities: Opportunistic Attack,
Bad Luck Curse,
Curse of the Fool,
Wandering Asshole,
Curse of the Curse CrafterInventory: Dagger, Half a dress, 75 bandages,
Neckless of the Ribless, Small bottle of Mage blood, Dagger, Lock picking kit,
Iron Cuirass, unlit torch, 96 Yuros (real gold), Crossbow,
Brittle Jagged Groinbone Dagger of Good. Name: Gervedder Vietzo
Class: Level 2 Opportunistic Messenger
Status: -1 to gut/chest damage.
Health: [HP: 75/80]Abilities: Nimble Feet,
This Messenger Delivers,
Make Way for the Messenger! Important,
Stop For DirectionsInventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver, 8 bandages, 2 Yuros,
Iron Cuirass, Crossbow, Gerald the Mule, Two weeks rations and a bedroll.
Name: Lady Foxglove Vainglorious the III
Class: Level 2 Ravenhaired Crusader
Status: Super-presentable! -1 to head damage.
Health: [HP: 80/80]Abilities: Silent as a Raven’s Wing,
Opportunistic,
Honeyed Tongue,
Vain,
Self-RelianceInventory: Minor Health Potion x1, Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Masterwork Helm,
Fine horse, Travel supplies for several days.
Name: Bukkar Crangrom
Class: Level 2 Ragin' Mage
Status:Health: [HP: 80/80] |
The Vomiting!Abilities: Rage Lazors I,
Ass of the Flaming Foot I,
Lightning Fist I,
Always Looking For a Fight,
Always HungoverInventory: Sword of Severing! Crossbow, 400 Green Farthings, large barrel and rope.