Turn Forty FiveStaunch bleeding thigh with bandages. If time allows, try to finally extinguish self.
”Aha!” cries Gervedder, realising that the thing that was wrong about last turn was not the fact that he blinded his ally with ferocious bandage application or that it was written in a stupor but that there was incredibly little dialogue and the accompanying flashes of colour,
”Aha!”He tries to simultaneously stop drop and roll over his burning chest hair and bandage his bleeding thigh,
…but kind of lands flat on his back with his leg in the air.
…Which turns out to be a fairly good position for thigh bandaging.
”Aha!”Melee… dice roll… Medha
Suddenly there’s another cry of
”Aha!” as the Troglodyte Zombie spies Medha trying to sneak off behind the undead wizard.
”Ahhhhhh!” replies Medha, as
…blood suddenly shoots from the hole in her face.
She stubbornly sneaks on.
Wound Acquired: Medha Correo:
Heavy Face Bleeding!Activate Shield I, beat the last wizard skeleton to death.
Behind her there’s a whir and a buzz as Whiz’s shield finally pops up into action and the wizard strides forward purposefully, stylishly dual wielding his cutlass in one hand and the end of his crossbow in the other.
…Pausing to vomit enthusiastically over his feet, he raises his crossbow above his head and
…collapses, a crouching crunched ball of retching muscle.
Melee… dice roll… Medha
There’s a terrifying roarbaa underground as the sabre toothed sheep mummy lollops round the room, the darkness lit only by burning body hair and the corners of burning adventurers. With surprising deftness the sheep propels itself forward through the air, teeth bared as the great fecker leaps at Medha’s throat.
…Screaming with considerable sincerity, the teenage curse crafter raises her arms to cover her face and throat… until the sheep rips one arm off and flees!
Wound Acquired: Medha Correo:
Severed Right Arm!Attack… dice roll… Lady Foxglove
Blood and fire is everywhere as the rampant sheep leaves right arms dotted all over the dungeon floor, and the Wizard Skeleton has to tread carefully as he shuffles round in a circle to strike the fondler Foxglove.
…But the Wizard is an idiot, and tries to strike the spine molester before he’s fully turned round.
Melee… dice roll… Medha
Seeing as Medha is bleeding over everyone and a bit moany, the skeletal knight sees the ideal opportunity to take her out and charges at her.
…But he slips in her excess blood, leaving him open to a deadly bleeding melee counter!
…It misses.
Action: Alright, now his guard is down by my intentional fondling tactic, RIP OUT HIS SPINE MORTAL KOMBAT STYLE!
The undead Wizard turns to berate his hopeless skeleton, but instead finds himself laughing at Medha’s terrible plight and her terrible attempts to bleed at the knight and, taking advantage of Medha’s expert distraction technique, Lady Foxglove the Fondler sneaks so hard she
…sneaks right through the wizard!
…She turns round, suddenly realising she’s left the bloody spine behind.
Sneak up behind the Skeleton Wizard (failing that, any other distracted enemy) and go for an Opportunistic Attack posthaste, using the Dagger of Good!
Extinguish arm fire posthaste! Then commence lightning fistery of Skeleton Mage 3!
Medha is bleeding to death, but there is loot.
She crawls across the floor, spreading blood.
…She crawls quietly.
She raises herself upon her burning elbow.
She takes her dagger out of her pocket and collapses to the floor, smashing her face off the cold rock.
…She collapses quietly.
She gets to her feet and
…punches through the Wizard’s ribcage with her bone dagger, showering the floor with bits of rib and pinning the skeleton in place as a burning Bukkar
…extinguishes his arm in its face and
…punches himself in the eyes with the force of lightning!
FeckfeckfecktjosactuallyhurtsfeckHe begins to be horribly sick.
Wind Step! Use my invisibleness to loot another bandage from Medha and recover my arm.
Unnoticed, Tackov – battered Tackov – slips into invisibility and stalks after his arm, rejected halfway across the room by the bloodthirsty sheep.
He picks it up and wafts over to Medha, bleeding heavily over everything and holding her arm through the wizard skeleton’s chest.
Tackov pickpockets a bandage and, as he turns away in triumph, brushes against Medha’s back.
She turns, startled, drawing her knife out through the back of the Human Wizard Skeleton, who crashes to the ground in a pile of bone.
Medha staggers blindly towards her companions and falls into their arms, vaguely aware that their enemies have all disintegrated or fled.
((@Lawas: Ugh, a story? I did assume you tossing this horrible endless battle was a way to tell us leave this horrible endless dungeon. Frankly I'm getting a bit lost and it's dragging.))
Indeed.
Name: Tackov Cedtry
Class: Level 2 Wind Mage
Status: –1 to social interaction. +1 to head defence. -1 to melee. Invisible.
Health: [HP: 10/55] |
The Vomiting! |
Leprified Face! |
Severed Right Arm!Abilities: Magical Typhoon I,
Wind Blast I,
Wind Step I,
Squishy,
Sissy Slap FightInventory: Minor Mana Potion x1,
Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x1,
Masterwork Helm!, one memorised use of:
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! a bandage.
Name: Whiz
Class: Level 2 Whiz Wiz(ard)
Status: -1 to lower leg damage. -1 to social interaction. +1 to balancing. Shield - +2 to defence, 2 turns.
Health: [HP: 40/80] |
Giant Rat’s Tail! |
The Vomiting!Abilities: Shield I,
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast II,
Obviously a Powerful Wizard,
It’ll Make You Blind!Inventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Raider’s Dress of Shin Protection, 37 Yuros, Fancy Clothes,
Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x1,
Middling Mana Potion x1, Cutlass, Three daggers,
Minor Health Potion x3, +1 Bolt of Accuracy x4, +1 Bolt of Burning x5, +1 Bolt of Paralysis x2,
Middling Health Potion x1.
Name: Medha Correo
Class: Level 2 Curse Crafter
Status: -1 to gut damage. +1 to chest damage. -1 to melee.
Health: [HP: 5/80] |
Severed Rib! |
Severed Rib! |
Heavy Elbow Fire! |
Heavy Face Bleeding! |
Severed Right Arm!Pet Skull Health: [HP: 10/10]Abilities: Opportunistic Attack,
Bad Luck Curse,
Curse of the Fool,
Wandering Asshole,
Curse of the Curse CrafterInventory: Dagger, Half a dress, 76 bandages,
Neckless of the Ribless, Coffee (half a jug), Small bottle of Mage blood, Dagger, Lock picking kit,
Iron Cuirass, unlit torch, 96 Yuros (real gold), Bones, Crossbow,
Brittle Jagged Groinbone Dagger of Good! Name: Gervedder Vietzo
Class: Level 2 Opportunistic Messenger
Status: -1 to gut/chest damage.
Health: [HP: 35/80] |
Burning Chest Hair!Abilities: Nimble Feet,
This Messenger Delivers,
Make Way for the Messenger! Important,
Stop For DirectionsInventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver, 8 bandages, 7 Yuros,
Iron Cuirass, Crossbow,
Bandage of Healing! Name: Lady Foxglove Vainglorious the III
Class: Level 2 Ravenhaired Crusader
Status: Super-presentable!
Health: [HP: 80/80]Abilities: Silent as a Raven’s Wing,
Opportunistic,
Honeyed Tongue,
Vain,
Self-RelianceInventory: Minor Health Potion x1, Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Necklace of Permanent Death! Name: Bukkar Crangrom
Class: Level 2 Ragin' Mage
Status: -1 to social interaction. -1 Pain penalty.
Health: [HP: 15/80] |
The Vomiting! |
Fractured Groin!Abilities: Rage Lazors I,
Ass of the Flaming Foot I,
Lightning Fist I,
Always Looking For a Fight,
Always Hungover Inventory: Sword of Severing! Crossbow, 1
Stinking Eejit cheese, 2 Yuros, 400 Green Farthings.
Author
Topic: Roll to Dungeon Quest - It's not you, it's me. (Read 193254 times)