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Author Topic: Roll to Dungeon Quest - It's not you, it's me.  (Read 191274 times)

Errol

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.30
« Reply #450 on: June 14, 2013, 09:39:40 am »

Medha sniggers audibly just inside the border of Foxglove's personal space, ruining the confidential atmosphere with the expertise and grace of an elephant on rollerskates in a china shop. "Well aren't you just the cutest widdle adventuring couple. Uh, well, even if you say you ain't. Cause, the one day you deny everything and then bam! Next day you argue who pays child support. I can see it coming already. It's gonna be glorious, telling ya now. Hey, anyone got popcorn? Ooh, is that a ghost? C'mere, ghostie! I got some questions to ask!"

Chase after the ghost, aiming to capture it. Mind the traps. Actually... not getting shot in the arse is preferable to catching ghosties.

Also, shoot Tackov a knowing look.
« Last Edit: June 14, 2013, 09:51:00 am by Errol »
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Toaster

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.30
« Reply #451 on: June 14, 2013, 09:44:18 am »

Tackov, for his part, is enjoying certain... sights that crawling behind the Lady Foxglove affords him.
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.30
« Reply #452 on: June 14, 2013, 10:15:22 am »

Lady Foxgloves stared at the ring as if firebeams would leap from her eyes, and burn it off his finger.

Then she snorted and chuckled in an unladylike fashion.

"Oh, well that explains everything. You must be quite faithful to your wife, to turn down someone like me. Most married men I've met have been terribly unhappy about the whole situation-a situation they seem to think I'd remedy for them. Ah, but I'm not jaded enough to think that's always the case. I don't do any..hrmm, poaching? Of couples, I mean. Marriage should be respected...even for someone like myself. And, it's not very sporting.

Tell me about your beloved spouse, messenger. How did you meet? Is she a fellow messenger? Perhaps you were messenging along one day and bumped into one another?

I love couple stories. I have so many of my own, it's nice to hear how other-more mundane-people meet."


"My wife Jona is a priestess of Neh, pseudo-god of subterranean forces, the ones that cause earthquakes and continents to drift and so on - head priestess, actually. I haven't seen her for quite a while - at least three months by my last reckoning, but I once had not seen her for six, so I suppose it is not all that long yet. Anyway, she is a robust woman exactly seventeen years and fifty-six days my senior. We got married ten years and one hundred and seventy two days ago at her temple way off in the southern lands, the same day she proposed to me, in fact. I remember her exact words, she said 'messenger, we are to marry immediately by the order of Neh, or my entire life shall be swallowed up by the earth'. I asked her if this was actually true, and she said no, she really only needed me to marry her to gain a sizable tax cut from the king, who was a bit of a misogynist, not to mention big on family values in cults. So a cult full of unmarried women, particularly one with no particular tenet requiring celibacy, looked rather suspicious, particularly since it was a cult of Neh."

"So, in a fit of high fraudulence, they started marrying any messengers in the area, and I just so happened to be the first requiring to deliver a message there from the local count, who wished to ask for his taxes nicely before he sent down a whole lot of soldiers to collect them by force. So Jona married me, at first against my will, but then I realized that this was probably a better idea than I first would have guessed - not only would I gain tax exemption, counting as an internal member of the cult, but that those people were also rather rich. Mind you, Jona wasn't open to sharing any of the wealth, but I could still live there on occasion when not busy messenging all about. The cult of Neh, when one is on their good side, provides excellent food, appreciable wine and a rather decent selection of books when one is on their good side. All in all, a rather wonderful marriage. I even have three children. I'm not sure if any of them are mine, however. Probably not, considering I and Jona... consummated our marriage only once in what was a wholly frightening and strange experience, but with the cult of Neh, you never know."

Spoiler: Lore: Cult of Neh (click to show/hide)

« Last Edit: June 14, 2013, 10:25:36 am by Harry Baldman »
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Dwarmin

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.30
« Reply #453 on: June 14, 2013, 10:26:08 am »

"Seems everyone has religion these days...

Anyways, let me get this one thing straight. You are devoted to your wife-correct me if I'm wrong there-but you've only 'consummated' once in ten years of marriage? What else have you been doing for these last ten years? Busy Messengering all the time?

My Gods man, if that's true, you have the willpower of a saint. Otherwise, you're perfectly human and I totally don't hold it against you."
She said, more or less meaning it.
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.30
« Reply #454 on: June 14, 2013, 10:54:29 am »

"Seems everyone has religion these days...

Anyways, let me get this one thing straight. You are devoted to your wife-correct me if I'm wrong there-but you've only 'consummated' once in ten years of marriage? What else have you been doing for these last ten years? Busy Messengering all the time?

My Gods man, if that's true, you have the willpower of a saint. Otherwise, you're perfectly human and I totally don't hold it against you."
She said, more or less meaning it.

"Well, messenging is certainly a rather demanding profession. You hardly have time to stop anywhere. And I've never really had much of a drive for the carnal parts of life. Not sure why, just never developed a taste for it. It's hardly a feat of willpower to avoid doing things you don't enjoy."
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Dwarmin

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.30
« Reply #455 on: June 14, 2013, 11:03:32 am »

"Oh, well...that's quite depressing, actually..." Lady Foxglove says, giving Gervedder up as completely hopeless.
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"The hats never coming off."

Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.30
« Reply #456 on: June 14, 2013, 11:06:59 am »

"Oh, well...that's quite depressing, actually..." Lady Foxglove says, giving Gervedder up as completely hopeless.

"It does certainly free up a lot of time, though. Almost as much as immortality."
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Dwarmin

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.30
« Reply #457 on: June 14, 2013, 11:10:44 am »

"An immortality of messengering, maybe." Lady Fox shrugs.

"Which in retrospect would probably suit you just fine."
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"The hats never coming off."

Xantalos

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.30
« Reply #458 on: June 14, 2013, 11:46:24 am »

Follow along with the party.
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Chink

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.30
« Reply #459 on: June 14, 2013, 02:06:02 pm »

"Would it be possible to get one of my crossbows enchanted to shoot better, sir? I would, of course, be willling to pay a good sum for this."
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lawastooshort

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Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.31
« Reply #460 on: June 17, 2013, 06:24:53 am »

Turn Thirty One

"Would it be possible to get one of my crossbows enchanted to shoot better, sir? I would, of course, be willling to pay a good sum for this."

”Eeerm, well, no. Least, not by me at any rate. I’m a shopkeeper, not an enchanter. You’d have to go see one of the three official mages of the town for that, I don’t think anyone else’d be powerful enough, and for that you’d have to have the good word of the town – or themselves, I guess, but anyway, an introduction of some kind, and then it’d probably cost you a fair pile of Yuros you know. Let me tell you this – I once had a +1 Crossbow of Accuracy, as they likes to call it, and I sold it in this very shop for five hundred gold Yuros! Yes sir – real gold, too. You’d be better off just taking me fancy bolts, if you ask me.”
…   …   …   …   …   …

Start crawling back a ways, see if ghost follows.

Action: Shuffle alongside messenger some more.

Follow along.  Try not to step in the diplomacy.

Chase after the ghost, aiming to capture it. Mind the traps. Actually... not getting shot in the arse is preferable to catching ghosties.

In the dark temple tunnel across town, Gervedder Vietzo successfully crawls backwards a bit next to his colleague and, he’s happy to say, good friend Lady Foxglove Vainglorious III, who also successfully crawls backwards a bit, so hard she bumps right into Tackov Cedtry’s face, which is slightly awkward.

Medha points and giggles, folding up and laughing so hard she turns red, nearly chokes, starts hiccupping, and completely forgets what the point of this crawling nonsense was, and daintily steps over the crawling bumping threesome and prances off, still hiccupping and red, down the tunnel.

As she gets to the door the evidently bored ghost vanishes back through it, opens it up, and ushers through two human sized skeletons!

Behind there comes a strange skeletal yapping, and a nastier, deeper growl.

There’s just enough room for the two skeletons to attack two abreast, and they do!

The three combatants fall over in a tangled heap, one bony arm flying out of the scrum with a crunching snap, one pair of broken guts horribly sprained with a piercing wail, and the wolf skeleton leaps over, dashing forward and into the attack!

It gnashes its teeth harmlessly at Gervedder!

Behind Medha and her two skeleton friends, the looming form of a large rotting humanoid figure shuffles through the doorway.

Follow along with the party.

Seemingly oblivious to the outburst of commotion, Bukkar strolls along behind his crawling companions, comparing ales he has loved and lost in a world of his own.

Spoiler: GM Notes (click to show/hide)
Current Players:
Spoiler: Tackov Cedtry, Toaster (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Whiz, Chink (click to show/hide)
Spoiler: Medha Correo, Errol (click to show/hide)
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Dwarmin

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.31
« Reply #461 on: June 17, 2013, 06:54:04 am »

Lady Foxglove was about to shriek imperiously about tacky having the temerity to put his ugly face near her cute posterior, when the skeletons incompetently charged them!

She swung up her crossbow, intent on shooting the wolf that was trying to gnaw on her very good friend Gervedder Vietzo.

Action: Stand up, and shoot da skeleton wolf after Gervedders diplomacy fails

« Last Edit: June 17, 2013, 08:26:11 am by Dwarmin »
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Harry Baldman

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.31
« Reply #462 on: June 17, 2013, 07:29:30 am »

Lady Foxglove was about to shriek imperiously about whiz having the temerity to put his ugly face near her cute posterior, when the skeletons incompetently charged them!

She swung up her crossbow, intent on shooting the wolf that was trying to gnaw on her very good friend Gervedder Vietzo.

Action: Stand up, and shoot da skeleton wolf

"Well now, aren't you a nice dog. Don't shoot it, milady. It probably wouldn't do much good. Too much air to hit and no vitals to pierce, after all."

"Now, my canine friend, this may end in one of two ways. We can battle or we can be friends. Which do you prefer?"


Look as harmless and benevolent to the wolf as possible. Try to instill a certain trust in me in it. If that doesn't look like it'll work, run away for now.
« Last Edit: June 17, 2013, 08:24:09 am by Harry Baldman »
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Toaster

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.31
« Reply #463 on: June 17, 2013, 08:17:40 am »

((It was Tackov that got a facefull, not Whiz))


Tackov, a slight grin on his face, prepared his favorite attack spell as the Messenger tried diplomacy...

If (when) diplomacy fails, Wind Blast the wolf into the dual-armed skeleton.
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HMR stands for Hazardous Materials Requisition, not Horrible Massive Ruination, though I can understand how one could get confused.
God help us if we have to agree on pizza toppings at some point. There will be no survivors.

Errol

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Re: Roll to Dungeon Quest - Chapter 1.31
« Reply #464 on: June 17, 2013, 09:44:50 am »

Get out of the brawl and count on one of the timeless laws of comedy - if one combatant leaves a heated melee a trois, the remaining two will be too caught up in the action to actually notice their target has vanished. Picture one of these dust clouds from which only combat sounds and an occasional punching implement or beaten head surfaces, only to resubmerge in a moment.

Yeah, anyway, do that and Opportunistic Attack one of the skeletons. They should be preoccupied, so it's OK.
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