Turn Seventy SixAs Lady Foxglove starts helpfully swooping about, patronising every one of her companions except for Tackov, who soon consequently starts feeling bad about himself and wondering why no one is looking out for him, even if it is kind of in the way that a primary school teacher might look out for a small boy who’s just banged himself on the head with a doorframe again and has a history of eating spiders after mistaking them for sweeties, Medha gets on with the important business of persuading Bukkar to hit her wheelbarrow full of iron ore very hard until it turns into a dagger.
...There’s a bit more heat and smoke involved than the above suggests, but that’s more or less what happens, and it more or less works.
”Ooh! Dagger!” shouts Medha, tremendously pleased.
”Dagger dagger dagger! Shiny!”She thinks about shouting dagger another six or seven times, but decides not to.
Pleased at a good hour’s work, Bukkar decides to do more. He hands Medha her finished dagger, turns around, and starts hitting the ground very hard with his pick. Before he knows entirely what’s happening, there isn’t any more ground, just darkness, and then before he knows entirely what’s happening next, there isn’t any darkness, just a dim light.
The dim kind of light that you might get in an underground room lit by cheap shoddy candles.
...Even the dim kind of light that you might get in an underground room lit by cheap shoddy candles and inhabited by a rather large number of kobolds.
Er. Hello? You speak English? I SAID, YOU SPEAKA DE ENGLISH? EEENGLISH! Rońardo! RONARDO! I’M GONNA NEED MY BARREL, RONARDO!During this time (the time of forging a dagger and excavating 20 foot of mountain), and despite the ringing clanging bouncing off the mountainside and echoing back and forth down the valley and up again, Whiz, helpfully woken up from time to time by Lady Foxglove, rests. He rests so hard that he feels extremely rested, and also slightly dozy and extremely surprised when Gervedder and Tackov come screaming back down the trail shouting something about
”Holy crap! Rare plants! Rare plants coming this way! Help!”"Help??! They’re plants, you eejits, what’s the problem, you found too many for your puny manmuscles?"”Oh wait, did I say rare plants? I meant carnivorous rare plants! Help! Help! Run away! Run away!!”Medha and Whiz, the only people left to run away who aren’t already running away, or floating on a squid, or down a very big hole, look behind them for somewhere to run away too.
It seems there’s just a very big hole behind them.
Medha and Whiz turn back towards Gervedder and Tackov, fleeing towards them down the mountain trail, with a large host of greenery pursuing them, and decide to summarise the choices open to them.
”So we could stand and wait for Gervedder and Tackov, and fight the rare carnivorous plants?””Or we could jump down the hole behind us down which Bukkar the Raging Blacksmith just disappeared and from which he is shouting for Rońardo and his barrel?””Yep, or we could flee down the hole to our right into which I fell over last turn?!””Or we could throw ourselves off the side of the mountain, and see what happens?””Or – OR – we could stay just here and wait for Lady Foxglove to rescue us on her squid!”"Ehehehehehe! Rescue you? AGAIN?"Lady Foxglove swoops about for a brief moment, giggling to herself.
"Wait what, all five of you? You expect Eric the Squid to carry ALL FIVE OF YOU? Pfffffff!"Lady Foxglove reflects for a second.
"Hang on, you said ravenous carnivorous plants are coming? I’d better equip my vest!"The five are on or floating above a narrow mountain path. In front carnivorous plants are approaching, at speed. To the left is a ravine. To the right is a cliff side, with a door sized hole in it. Behind is a 20 foot deep hole. Bukkar is in the hole. At the bottom of the hole is a room. There are a dozen low level looking kobolds in the room.
Also, you could be more specific about “Rune Dagger”, because you got a five, and I wasn’t feeling inventive, but you can retrospecify something if you want, subject to discussion.
Lady Foxglove’s successful lookouting grants her +3 to initiative to next turn should there be combat. Please ask question if necessary.
Current Players:Name: Tackov Cedtry
Class: Level 3 Gusty Wind Mage
Status: +1 missile defence. -1 to melee. Dressed! Explosive guts!
Health: [HP: 60/60] |
The Vomiting! |
Severed Guts! |
External Dragon Guts!Abilities: Magical Typhoon I,
Wind Blast I,
Wind Blast II,
Wind Step I,
Squishy,
Sissy Slap FightInventory: Minor Mana Potion x1,
Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x1, one memorised use of:
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Mouldy Wizard Hat, bits of guts (own), You Bastard the Mangy Donkey,
Cloak of Camouflage, 1 Green Farthing, Several heavy rocks, Some ribs, Scroll of
Airfist I.
Name: Whiz
Class: Level 3 Whiznificent Whiz Wiz(ard)
Status: +1 to lower leg defence. -1 to social interaction. +1 to balancing. -1 to dodge. -1 to head defence. Summoned Carpet (leaks flammable healing potion) for one more turn.
Health: [HP: 85/85] |
Giant Rat’s Tail! |
Broken Chest! |
Broken Head!Abilities: Red Carpet,
Shield I,
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast II,
Obviously a Powerful Wizard,
It’ll Make You Blind!Inventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Raider’s Dress of Shin Protection, 37 Yuros, Fancy Clothes,
Middling Mana Potion x1, Cutlass, Three daggers,
Minor Health Potion x2, +1 Bolt of Accuracy x4, +1 Bolt of Burning x4, +1 Bolt of Paralysis x2,
Middling Health Potion x1,
Carrying Serf x0 (not currently mounted).
Name: Medha Correo
Class: Level 3 Alchemist Curse Crafter
Status: +1 to gut defence. +1 to chest defence.
Health: [HP: 21/85] |
Draconic Ribcage!Skull Spider Health: [HP: 25/25]Abilities: Craft Curse Grenade,
Opportunistic Attack I,
Curse Crafter,
Curse of the Fool,
Wandering Asshole,
Curse of the Curse CrafterInventory: Dagger, Half a dress, 73 bandages,
Neckless of the Ribless, Dagger, Lock picking kit,
Iron Cuirass, 211 Yuros, Crossbow,
Brittle Jagged Groinbone Dagger of Good, 4 vials of human blood, 6 vials of kobold blood,
Grenade of the Fool x0, Serpent's Benediction plant x1, Faery-weed x1, A Shiny Stone, Bottle of Dragon Blood, a six foot plank of wood, a rune dagger.
Name: Gervedder Vietzo
Class: Level 3 Damaged Opportunistic Messenger
Status: +1 to gut and chest defence. +1 defence if moves.
Health: [HP: 85/85]Abilities: Just a Brainflesh Wound,
Nimble Feet,
This Messenger Delivers,
Make Way for the Messenger! Important,
Stop For DirectionsInventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver, 2 bandages, 2 Yuros,
Iron Cuirass, Crossbow, Gerald the Mule, Two weeks rations and a bedroll,
Cureall,
Apprentice Herbalist's Manual,
Herbalist's Containers x5, Large Cork x1.
Name: Lady Foxglove Vainglorious the III
Class: Level 3 Glamorous Ravenhaired Crusader
Status: Extra-presentable! +1 to head, chest and groinbone defence.
Health: [HP: 85/85]Abilities: Ravena’s Ear,
Silent as a Raven’s Wing,
Opportunistic,
Honeyed Tongue,
Vain,
Self-RelianceInventory: Minor Health Potion x2, Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Masterwork Helm,
Flying Warsquid,
Lance, Sword,
Mercenary Squidrider Uniform,
Masterwork Poledancing Pole,
chainmail lingerie, 34 Yuros, 10 bandages, Decent provisions (day) x5, Live eel x700,
Grenade of the Fool x1, Red dragon-scale vest.
Name: Bukkar Crangrom
Class: Level 3 Sprayin' Ragin' Mage
Status:Health: [HP: 85/85] |
The Vomiting!Abilities: Rage Flight,
Rage Lazors I,
Ass of the Flaming Foot I,
Lightning Fist I,
Always Looking For a Fight,
Always HungoverInventory: Sword of Severing! Crossbow, 400 Green Farthings,
Large Sealed Bling Barrel, Large Cork x1, Dragon Body Parts Covered in Bodily Fluids (quantity-small), pick.