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[Dwarmin]

Tackov nodded.  "I agree- let's get out of here.  Just let me get my face."

Retrieve face, arm, and any remaining loot, then get out of here.

"Say, milady, would you care to trade headgear?

Lady Foxglove was still concentrating on putting out the fire in her pants and couldn't respond, thought she thought it was a good trade.

[Chink]

Back to the inn as fast as possible.

[lawastooshort]

Turn Forty Seven

"What's that smell? It reminds one of... of a burning box of chocolates...oh, my leg, ow!"

The horrendously battered Bukkar runs past.

”Zombie!”

”Burning chest hair!!”

"Burning leggings!!!"

”Oh gods he’s coming after meeee!”

”Stampede!”

”Crikey!”

"I say!!"

"Let me get my face!"

”Run away!”

"My face!"

”Take this!”

”Ohgodswhat’sthatsmellohIthinkI’mgonnavo-!”

Whiz doesn’t think he’s going to vomit; Bukkar’s flying cheese wafts its foul odour through the air and he just does: it comes out with relentless force as he runs past the broken portal and up the stairs and through the rest of the temple to the outside and daylight and safety. The front of his raider’s dress is a disgrace.

”Nice… shorts, ma’am…”

"They are rather fetching, eh? I’ve just invented them. Oh GODS, wizard, you’ve just gone and bled on me!"

"Terribly sorry. Say, milady, would you care to trade headgear?

"There’s a time and a place for everything, Tackov, and this isn’t the time for trading headgear. It’s the time for fleeing the perilous undead with one’s band of eej- adventurers. Now run! Oh bloody hell, Tackov. Go ROUND the wettest patches! You’ve splashed Whiz’s gutfroth on my bloody legs."

”Haha!”

…   …   …   …   …   …

The adventurers are tired; most are hurt. Their clothes, where remaining, are encrusted with blood and other bodily discharges. They lean against the wall outside the temple.

”Hmm. Dinner anyone?”

Spoiler: GM Notes (click to show/hide)

I’ll do mini turns as appropriate.

Current Players:

Spoiler: Tackov Cedtry, Toaster (click to show/hide)

Name: Tackov Cedtry
Class: Level 2 Wind Mage
Status: –1 to social interaction. +1 to head defence. -1 to melee.
Health: [HP: 20/55] | The Vomiting! | Leprified Face! | Severed Right Arm!
Abilities: Magical Typhoon I, Wind Blast I, Wind Step I, Squishy, Sissy Slap Fight
Inventory: Minor Mana Potion x1, Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x1, Masterwork Helm!, one memorised use of: Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast!

Spoiler: Whiz, Chink (click to show/hide)

Name: Whiz
Class: Level 2 Whiz Wiz(ard)
Status: -1 to lower leg damage.  -1 to social interaction. +1 to balancing.
Health: [HP: 50/80] | Giant Rat’s Tail! | The Vomiting!
Abilities: Shield I, Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast II, Obviously a Powerful Wizard, It’ll Make You Blind!
Inventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver, Raider’s Dress of Shin Protection, 37 Yuros, Fancy Clothes, Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x1, Middling Mana Potion x1, Cutlass,  Three daggers, Minor Health Potion x3, +1 Bolt of Accuracy x4, +1 Bolt of Burning x5, +1 Bolt of Paralysis x2, Middling Health Potion x1.

Spoiler: Medha Correo, Errol (click to show/hide)

Name: Medha Correo
Class: Level 2 Curse Crafter
Status: -1 to gut damage. +1 to chest damage.
Health: [HP: 15/80] | Severed Rib! | Severed Rib!
Pet Skull Health: [HP: 10/10]
Abilities: Opportunistic Attack,  Bad Luck Curse, Curse of the Fool, Wandering Asshole, Curse of the Curse Crafter
Inventory: Dagger, Half a dress, 76 bandages, Neckless of the Ribless, Coffee (half a jug), Small bottle of Mage blood, Dagger, Lock picking kit, Iron Cuirass, unlit torch, 96 Yuros (real gold), Bones, Crossbow, Brittle Jagged Groinbone Dagger of Good!

Spoiler: Gervedder Vietzo, Harry Baldman (click to show/hide)

Name: Gervedder Vietzo
Class: Level 2 Opportunistic Messenger
Status: -1 to gut/chest damage.
Health: [HP: 35/80]
Abilities: Nimble Feet, This Messenger Delivers, Make Way for the Messenger! Important, Stop For Directions
Inventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver, 8 bandages, 7 Yuros, Iron Cuirass, Crossbow.

Spoiler: Lady Foxglove Vainglorious the III, Dwarmin (click to show/hide)

Name: Lady Foxglove Vainglorious the III
Class: Level 2 Ravenhaired Crusader
Status: Super-presentable! Cursed! (3/3)
Health: [HP: 75/80]
Abilities: Silent as a Raven’s Wing,  Opportunistic, Honeyed Tongue, Vain, Self-Reliance
Inventory: Minor Health Potion x1, Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver, Necklace of Permanent Death! Mouldy Wizard Hat!

Spoiler: Bukkar Crangrom, Xantalos (click to show/hide)

Name: Bukkar Crangrom
Class: Level 2 Ragin' Mage
Status:
Health: [HP: 15/80] | The Vomiting!
Abilities: Rage Lazors I, Ass of the Flaming Foot I, Lightning Fist I, Always Looking For a Fight, Always Hungover
Inventory: Sword of Severing! Crossbow, 2 Yuros, 400 Green Farthings.

[Harry Baldman]

"We should probably be calling it a day now. This side venture has proven altogether more painful than it should have."

That inn we stayed at, we should probably go ahead and rest there again.

Also, some of these diseases should be treated.

[Toaster]

Did I collect any missing appendages?

[Dwarmin]

"Someone wanted this mouldy hat, right?" She asked, breathing hard.

"Anyway, see you all in the morning. I'm off to advance the plot."

After the trade, Lady Foxglove sprinted away from her teammates at high speed before they discharged anything else onto her...

Action: Trade the Mouldy Hat for the Awesome Helmet.

Then, back to the castle! I need a warm bath, a massage, and a glass of wine with a mysterious gentleman to take my mind off the horror.

[Toaster]

Accept trade.  Attempt to reattach appendages.  Bum bandages from teammates, and enlist their aid.

"Could I get a hand with this?" Tackov pokes people with his severed arm for emphasis on the terrible pun.

[Chink]

"Just keep sticking it on in, it'll eventually work."

Look for someone to cure my Vomiting.

[Errol]

"...g-go ahead, take the bandages you need... I... I think I owe you one."

Follow Gervedder in his quest for a decent inn and a warm dinner once we're through with this bandaging thing.

[lawastooshort]

Turn Forty Eight

"We should probably be calling it a day now. This side venture has proven altogether more painful than it should have."

”Yes… almost… almost as if we weren’t meant to go in that temple…”

"I’m sure we were almost at the end… I sensed great power… or something. Great… ending."

”Great retching, you mean. Idiot."

"Someone wanted this mouldy hat, right?"

"Yes. Me. I too can sense great power, being a powerful mage. Wind mage. And a powerful wind poet, too. I have a great spiritual presence, you know."

"What?"

"Yes," repeats Tackov, putting on his new mouldy hat. It’s very comfortable. He pulls a severed human arm from somewhere amongst his clothing and pokes Medha in the ribhole. "So, um… Could I get a hand with this?"

"Eeeeeeeek! ...G-go ahead, take the bandages you need... I... I think I owe you one."

"Dude, just keep sticking it on in, it'll work eventually."

"Dude, it’s my arm, it’s not going to just- Oh. Oh!"

…Tackov’s arm falls off.

"Oh. See."

"Yeah I think you’re doing it wrong. Look, like this."

"Anyway, see you all in the morning. I'm off to advance the plot."

Lady Foxglove runs off before suffering any further attack by bodily discharge. It’s noticeable that there are a few passers-by in the street, and seeing a Lord’s Messenger milling about, obviously lost, one of them crosses to help.

…Tackov’s arm falls off.

Whiz starts to be sick.

The passer-by suddenly realises she had something very important to do.

"So… Dinner at Crazyface Jack’s?"

"Wait, let me just try Whiz’s technique on my face."

There’s a pause.

There’s a grunting.

…There’s a quiet thud.

"Oh.”

The party split up; Bukkar wandering off to find a gutter for later that night, Whiz speed-walking away to see if he can’t find a cure for his retching disease, …but everywhere doctorish seems to be shut. He manages to find most of his comrades down at Crazyface Jack’s.

…   …   …   …   …   …

Elsewhere, the plot advances like white wine pouring out of a bottle into a mysterious female adventurer’s wine glass in the candle-lit private dining room of a regionally powerful noble.
 
"Thank you."

Lady Foxglove Vainglorious III is bathed, massaged, clothed, perfumed; she looks Lord Nirila in the eye whilst the servant pours. The various dishes brought in so far, Foxglove notes, are rather refined. Delicate.

”You said you’re an adventurer, milady? You must have seen things a lord busily overseeing his domain doesn’t always get to see…”

Spoiler: GM Notes (click to show/hide)

I’ll do mini turns as appropriate. I’ll advance to morning time when appropriate. All health and cooldowns will be reset too, provided people sleep.

Current Players:

Spoiler: Tackov Cedtry, Toaster (click to show/hide)

Name: Tackov Cedtry
Class: Level 2 Wind Mage
Status: –1 to social interaction. -1 to melee.
Health: [HP: 25/55] | The Vomiting! | Leprified Face! | Severed Right Arm!
Abilities: Magical Typhoon I, Wind Blast I, Wind Step I, Squishy, Sissy Slap Fight
Inventory: Minor Mana Potion x1, Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x1, , one memorised use of: Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Mouldy Wizard Hat!

Spoiler: Whiz, Chink (click to show/hide)

Name: Whiz
Class: Level 2 Whiz Wiz(ard)
Status: -1 to lower leg damage.  -1 to social interaction. +1 to balancing.
Health: [HP: 55/80] | Giant Rat’s Tail! | The Vomiting!
Abilities: Shield I, Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast II, Obviously a Powerful Wizard, It’ll Make You Blind!
Inventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver, Raider’s Dress of Shin Protection, 37 Yuros, Fancy Clothes, Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x1, Middling Mana Potion x1, Cutlass,  Three daggers, Minor Health Potion x3, +1 Bolt of Accuracy x4, +1 Bolt of Burning x5, +1 Bolt of Paralysis x2, Middling Health Potion x1.

Spoiler: Medha Correo, Errol (click to show/hide)

Name: Medha Correo
Class: Level 2 Curse Crafter
Status: -1 to gut damage. +1 to chest damage.
Health: [HP: 20/80] | Severed Rib! | Severed Rib!
Pet Skull Health: [HP: 10/10]
Abilities: Opportunistic Attack,  Bad Luck Curse, Curse of the Fool, Wandering Asshole, Curse of the Curse Crafter
Inventory: Dagger, Half a dress, 76 bandages, Neckless of the Ribless, Coffee (half a jug), Small bottle of Mage blood, Dagger, Lock picking kit, Iron Cuirass, unlit torch, 96 Yuros (real gold), Bones, Crossbow, Brittle Jagged Groinbone Dagger of Good!

Spoiler: Gervedder Vietzo, Harry Baldman (click to show/hide)

Name: Gervedder Vietzo
Class: Level 2 Opportunistic Messenger
Status: -1 to gut/chest damage.
Health: [HP: 40/80]
Abilities: Nimble Feet, This Messenger Delivers, Make Way for the Messenger! Important, Stop For Directions
Inventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver, 8 bandages, 7 Yuros, Iron Cuirass, Crossbow.

Spoiler: Lady Foxglove Vainglorious the III, Dwarmin (click to show/hide)

Name: Lady Foxglove Vainglorious the III
Class: Level 2 Ravenhaired Crusader
Status: Super-presentable! +1 to head defence. Cursed! (3/3)
Health: [HP: 80/80]
Abilities: Silent as a Raven’s Wing,  Opportunistic, Honeyed Tongue, Vain, Self-Reliance
Inventory: Minor Health Potion x1, Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver, Necklace of Permanent Death! Masterwork Helm!

Spoiler: Bukkar Crangrom, Xantalos (click to show/hide)

Name: Bukkar Crangrom
Class: Level 2 Ragin' Mage
Status:
Health: [HP: 20/80] | The Vomiting!
Abilities: Rage Lazors I, Ass of the Flaming Foot I, Lightning Fist I, Always Looking For a Fight, Always Hungover
Inventory: Sword of Severing! Crossbow, 2 Yuros, 400 Green Farthings.

[Dwarmin]

"Seen...heard, smelled, tasted. A wealth of experiences lie just outside your door, Milord." She says coyly, sipping her wine slowly. She shifted her body's weight nearly imperceptibly as she lowered her glass, catching his eye-watching to see if his attention was more on her body, or on her face.

[Harry Baldman]

The messenger felt quite tired. The temple of Sef was certainly quite an awful place, and though undead were not entirely unexpected, they were certainly undesired. Still, though, they'd gotten some things out of it, and it was a pretty functional bonding experience, what with the constant state of near death. So he guesses he'll write it off as a near-success. Experience was gained, and the wounds obtained would hopefully be possible to mitigate.

Eat and rest for the night.

[lawastooshort]

"Seen...heard, smelled, tasted. A wealth of experiences lie just outside your door, Milord." She says coyly, sipping her wine slowly. She shifted her body's weight nearly imperceptibly as she lowered her glass, catching his eye-watching to see if his attention was more on her body, or on her face.

Her face. Lord Nirila is looking at her face.

”Hahaha, many fine experiences have lain just inside my door, too…”

Oh no. Her body.

”You must have come across people of great power… Discovered items of great power…”

And back to her face. Square in the eyes.

[Dwarmin]

"I've found that the power of the things one finds, and the people you meet, is entirely merited on how one puts them to use." She comments, smiling at him.

"But, one must obtain them first, yes? That's the hard part. The most precious of treasures...tend to be the most elusive, beyond any price in weight of gold or silver. In the end, if you want the real power, well...you have to go right ahead and grab it for yourself-and accept the risks and consequences that come with it. And of course, that requires courage. Do you consider yourself a courageous man, Lord Nirila?" She asked, her tone one of slight challenge. Time to move things along.

Her necklace was glowing quite beautifully at that moment, illuminating all the right places on her body. She knew that Lord Nirila had not seen it on her that morning. She thought the sight of it was making the Lord wonder what sort of treasures might be hidden right under his nose...

In any case, she was enjoying the dance.

[lawastooshort]

…

”Courageous?” His eyes move upwards for a second and then fall back down, distracted. ”Yes.”

”Yes – I’ve led men in battle, I’ve shed blood – any man in Nirila would say I’m a brave man. Even out of my hearing it would still be said.”

His eyes start to wander, perhaps to gain a little in… colour? Intensity? Perhaps betraying his thoughts about going right ahead and-

”And you, Lady – you are a courageous woman: in distant lands, dangerous places… searching for artefacts, delving into what might, for some, still be considered sacred parts…Hmm?”