Turn One Hundred and Twenty EightHellInconspicuously abduct one (preferably male, though I will probably need a skirt since no trousers are likely to fit) person from the crowd, or rather their clothes, and thus clothe myself once more.
…As the swarm of dressed people flee past him, Gervedder moderately inconspicuously tackles one to the ground. The poor victim starts screaming in fear for his life, completely ignored by all, until he sees Gervedder’s nudity, at which point he faints.
The Naked Messenger tries to remove the man’s clothing, but it remains steadfastly stuck on the man’s body. It seems, in fact, completely unremovable, as if magicked into place.
Lightning Fist the crowd of people!
Realising instantly why he’s in Hell, Bukkar moves away from the frogs and towards the crowd of greyly-dressed humans, where he punches a fleeing eejit.
…The fleeing eejit is instantaneously struck down by both fist and lightning and falls, smouldering, to the ground.
Bukkar Crangrom: +2 Mana!As the man falls, lightning arcs away from him, and Bukkar’s head starts beginning to glow a brighter shade of red.
…Whiz is hit in the face with some lightning, but survives unscathed!
Another blast of lightning sparks from the dead man into the crowd fleeing past,
…smacking one man to the ground, dazed and burning – lightning begins shooting off him into the crowd around, somewhat miraculously only hitting one of his acquaintances,
…who unfortunately explodes, and sends lightning bursting around further into the fleeing humans.
Bukkar Crangrom: +2 Mana!Bukkar Crangrom: +2 Mana!Bukkar Crangrom: M-anger regeneration activated! 11 Mana!…Overcome with anger, Bukkar spins around in a circle,
…slapping Whiz, Gervedder, a grey man and a frog in the face! Nothing happens though, except for the grey man kicking Gervedder in the shin, but then two more of the crowd are hit by the chains of lightning: one shakes it off like it was just a passing bolt of lightning and continues to flee; the other shakes it off like it was just a passing bolt of lightning that’s set him on fire, and also continues to flee.
Bukkar Crangrom: +2 Mana!Only one bolt of lightning spurts off this burning man, knocking another human to the ground with a look of surprise and a smell of singed hair. He gets up and flees harder, but runs straight into another bolt of lightning leaping off the original scorched corpse,
…but he survives his second indoor lightning bolt of the day!
Next to him a possibly former acquaintance of his is struck in the groin by some passing lightning, but it’s just a glancing blow which doesn’t even set his groin on fire!
…Unlike the blow of lightning that blasts the elbow off the man next to him, setting the arm stump on fire! The stumpy armed man screams, and pushes harder into the crowd trying to get down the stairs, knocking some of them over and down, starting quite the stampede.
Bukkar Crangrom: +2 Mana!A huge burst of lightning explodes off the man’s severed elbow as it falls to the floor, shooting up into half a dozen knees, setting two on mild fire, and making a third explode in a hail of knee! Several more people collapse to the floor as they try to make their hurried way downstairs, and the smell of burning flesh begins to fill the stairwell.
Just as it seems that the unending generation of lightning has actually ended, Gervedder turns in horror to see Bukkar’s enormous purple head expanded to the size of a large cow!
Bukkar Crangrom: +2 Mana!
Bukkar Crangrom: +2 Mana!
Bukkar Crangrom: +2 Mana!
Bukkar Crangrom: +2 Mana!
Bukkar Crangrom: M-anger regeneration activated! 18 Mana!…Bukkar spins round, striking every frog he can reach in the face with lightning. A dozen frogs explode!
Bukkar Crangrom: M-anger regeneration activated! 32 Mana!Whiz suddenly appears on the floor next to Bukkar, so Bukkar vomits on him!
…Bukkar is happier and angrier than he can ever remember being and punches every frog he can see to death and kicks a man-sized hole through the brick wall to the south. Beyond is a twenty foot drop down to a dark grey surface with white lines painted on it, parallel and about two metres apart. Dotted about the surface are metal and glass constructions about three or four metres long and of varied colours.
Exhausted, Bukkar collapses onto his back in a pool of flame, spontaneous combustions on his thigh and face adding to his already burning elbow.
Further frogs come down the stairs, hopping past Foxglove, Tackov, and Sylvanna and stampeding over Bukkar and Whiz, pushing Gervedder into the corner of the stairwell. Bukkar vomits, again, covering the thousands of frogs rushing over him in his filthy spittle and spreading the hideous contagion amongst them all. Within seconds the last two floors of the stairwell are filled with the frogs’ rising gutspume.
Apart from Bukkar’s retching, and gently whooshing sprinklers above, all is suddenly quite silent.
Give Foxy the Hell Leer
Just then Tackov leers pervertedly at Lady Foxglove.
…She doesn’t seem to notice, possibly because of all the vomit, and Tackov only feels a little bit dirty.
Gah.
Examine those humans! Frogpocalypse is probably nothing too serious.
…Sylvanna doesn’t quite get the chance to examine any of the humans before they flee, or are submerged in frog or the rising sea of frog vomit. The cursory examination she did manage to give some of them revealed that they were all quite grey and looked miserable.
Flee the froggy flood, and take shelter behind God.
…Whiz doesn’t so much flee the froggy flood, as watch the frogs boing past before being crushed in an avalanche of frog, collapsing on the floor next to Bukkar, who vomits on him. Whiz tries to scramble back up the stairs amongst the dozens of frog corpses, signalling frantically for God to help him up.
”Fun, isn’t, Hell?”God carefully picks his way down the stairs and looks out the hole Bukkar’s just kicked in the wall. He points out towards a yellow metal and glass machine.
”Ooh, that’s what we’re after! The other one’s bloody Ferrari! It’s a limited edition. Don’t ever ask him if it shouldn’t really be red, he’ll bore your arse off. Anyone know how to hotwire a car?”He looks down at Bukkar on the floor.
”You realise you’re about to burn to death? Oh well, eh?”You are in a stairwell on roughly the second story. Bukkar, Gervedder, Whiz and God are on the lower level – indoors, everywhere below them is covered in frog retch. At about waist height there is a hole in the southern wall showing outside. Tackov, Sylvanna and Lady Foxglove are on the level just above. You can go up, out, or through the frog detritus.
Tackov Cedtry
Stats: D2 / S0 / M6
Status: [HP: 30/30] | [MP: 30/30]
States +1 Missile defence | -1 Melee | Bald | -1 to Nudity
Whiz
Stats: D2 / S2+2 / M4
Status: [HP: 50/50] | [MP: 20/20]
States +1 Lower leg, groin, head and breast defence | Last in initiative rolls | +1 to melee attacks | +1 to crossbows | -1 to long range shooting
Gervedder Vietzo
Stats: D2 / S4 / M2
Status: [HP: 70/70] | [MP: 10/10]
States +1 Gut and chest defence | +1 Defence if moves | +1 Flaming Axe. | +1 to melee attack | Very tall | Naked
Lady Foxglove Vainglorious III
Stats: D4 / S2 / M2
Status: [HP: 40/50] | [MP: 10/10]
States +1 to Head, chest and groinbone defence | Dodges fist missile hit | +3 to initiative | +1 to missile attacks | +1 to dodge
Bukkar Crangrom
Stats: D0 / S6 / M2
Status: [HP: 15/90] | [MP:8/10]
States +1 Free piercing groinalheadbutt attack | Vomits | Ignites | Naked | -1 to dodge | -1 to dodge | +1 to melee attack | Triple Burning | Double Vomiting
Sylvanna the Felonious
Stats: D4 / S4 / M0
Status: [HP: 70/70] | [MP: 0/0]
States: +1 to dodge | +1 to melee attack
Dronebongo: [HP: 20/20] | +1 Melee bite | 2 kick attacks
Jack the Hippo: [HP: 30/30] | Cannot bleed
Lord Squid: [HP: 20/20] | Flying
Tax Collector Golem
Name: Sylvanna the Felonious’ Possibly-phantom Tax Collector Golem]
Class: 12 Part Possibly-phantom Tax Collector Golem
Health: [HP: 50/50]
Abilities: One Head, Three Arms, Six Legs
Sheepass Golem
Name: Sylvanna the Felonious’ Sheepass Golem
Class: 9 Part Sheepass Golem
Health: [HP: 40/40HP]
Abilities: One Backside, Eight Legs. No head, so max 2 command words per turn.