Turn One Hundred and FIFTEEN!!The Temple of Sef...Mumbling in some kind of demented trance, Lady Foxglove suddenly casts Revive GM! Filled with shame and self-loathing, the narrator realises, in a flash, that the only way he can possibly cast off the burden of GM self-loathing and despondency is by setting aside work, leaving alone the domination of the world and in particular the twin evils of Castile and Austria, oh, and bloody Portugal, ignoring blood bowl, no longer failing to complete his megaproject AND TO FINALLY UPDATE.
Rising from his chair, pure and naked and unburdened as the day he was born, he towers above the keyboard, and types with the frenzy typically associated with long haired keyboard players!
The plot comes flooding back to him!
He locates the map!
He remembers the joy he felt upon deciding that the next room holds a zombie hippopotamus!
Awesome!
It seems, to him, almost certain: there will only be a short set of violence between the brave adventurers and the actual point of the adventure (thus far). There was much rejoicing!
Then he thought, just what the hell would a zombie hippopotamus be doing there?!?
And then he remembered!
Sweet!
It is roughly then that Sylvanna stops riding in circles on Eric the Coinspider – for just long enough to shout
Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! and propose that:
Onwards! Whichever way onwards is without backtracking!
Whilst Sylvanna Wheeeeeeeeees around the room, her… colleagues, Whiz and Bukkar catch up with the group. She climbs down from her spider, walks over to the door in the north east, and pushes it open.
The adventurers peer in, and see a room open up before them, which is lit by a large chandelier hanging in the middle of the ceiling, casting shadows in the corners of the room but illuminating it well enough to show the only apparent features: a door to the far left, a painting on the right wall, and a softly glowing circle on the floor just offset from the centre.
The room is extremely silent.
Mission: Retrieve the Magical Mandolin Part
You are by the door of the room with colours in it.
Current Players:Name: Tackov Cedtry
Class: Level 4 Gusty Wind Mage
Status: +1 missile defence. +1 to future gut damage. -1 to melee. +1 left leg defence. -1 to feet.
Health: [HP: 65/65] |
Severed Guts! |
Magical Saucepan Leg |
Severed Foot!Abilities: Airfist I,
Magical Typhoon I,
Wind Blast I,
Wind Blast II,
Wind Step I,
Squishy,
Sissy Slap FightInventory: Minor Mana Potion x1,
Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x1,
Mouldy Wizard Hat, You Bastard the Mangy Donkey,
Cloak of Camouflage, 524 Green Farthings, 206 Yuros,
Solid Gold Lingerie x 2, a squashed and severed foot (own), a massive angry boulder stalker,
Burny-Vomity-Nakedy Wand;
Robe of Improved Magic,
Holy Incendiary Grenade of Sef.
Name: Whiz
Class: Level 4 Whiznificent Whiz Wiz(ard)
Status: +1 to lower leg, groin, head and breast defence. -1 to social interaction except with rats. +1 to balancing. +1 to strength. Last in initiative rolls.
Health: [HP: 90/90] |
Giant Rat’s Tail! Mummy!Abilities: Competent Crossbow User,
Red Carpet,
Shield I,
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast II,
Obviously a Powerful Wizard,
It’ll Make You Blind!Inventory: Crossbow x2, Unlimited Quiver,
Raider’s Dress of Shin Protection, 11 Yuros,
Middling Mana Potion x1, Cutlass, Three daggers,
Minor Health Potion x1, +1 Bolt of Accuracy x4, +1 Bolt of Burning x3, +1 Bolt of Paralysis x1,
Carrying Serf x0 (not currently mounted), 0 Green Farthings,
Steel Groinplate,
Steel Helmet,
Steel Breastplate.
Name: Gervedder Vietzo
Class: Level 4 Damaged Opportunistic Messenger
Status: +1 to gut and chest defence. +1 defence if moves. +1 to hit with axe (flaming). In a hole!
Health: [HP: 90/90] Extra Long Legs!Abilities: Gauntlet,
Sprint of Fury,
Just a Brainflesh Wound,
Nimble Feet,
This Messenger Delivers,
Important,
Stop For DirectionsInventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver, 0 bandages, 0 Yuros,
Iron Cuirass, Crossbow, Gerald the Mule, Two weeks rations and a bedroll,
Apprentice Herbalist's Manual,
Herbalist's Containers x5, Large Cork x1,
Masterwork Flaming Axe of Death.
Name: Lady Foxglove Vainglorious the III
Class: Level 4 Glamorous Ravenhaired Crusader
Status: +1 to head, chest and groinbone defence. Dodges fist missile hit. -1 to initiative and balancing.
Health: [HP: 90/90] |
Broken HeadAbilities: Nonchalant Dodge,
Ravena’s Ear,
Silent as a Raven’s Wing,
Opportunistic,
Honeyed Tongue,
Vain,
Self-RelianceInventory: The Raven's Wingblade,
Minor Health Potion x1, Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Masterwork Helm,
Flying Warsquid, Sword,
Mercenary Squidrider Uniform,
Masterwork Poledancing Pole,
chainmail lingerie, 34 Yuros, 10 bandages, Decent provisions (day) x4, Live eel x649, Red dragon-scale vest,
Curse Grenade of the Slimy Eel.
Name: Bukkar Crangrom
Class: Level 4 Sprayin' Ragin' Mage
Status: Naked! Burning face!Health: [HP: 90/90] |
The Vomiting! |
Broken Guts |
Blessed By the Godses |
Stony Facelegthing |
The Burning!Abilities: Whirlwind Rage I,
Rage Flight,
Rage Lazors I,
Ass of the Flaming Foot I,
Lightning Fist I,
Always Looking For a Fight,
Always HungoverInventory: Crossbow, 0 Green Farthings,
Large Sealed Bling Barrel, Large Cork x1, pick.
Name: Sylvanna the Felonious
Class: Level 4 Alchemical Flesh Mechanic
Status:Health: [HP: 90/90]Abilities: Construct Control I,
Craft Corpse Glue I,
Craft Alchemical Corpse Glue I,
Corpse Assimilation ,
Crawly HandsInventory: A dead kobold, clothes,
Buckler of Sharp Death, 0x Glue,
Hat of Command.
Name: Rattlefang’s DroneBongo of Vengeances
Class: Level 2 Shamanic Death Tambourine
Health: [HP: 35/35]Abilities: Two Legged Death Tambourine,
Incredibly Sharp Teeth