Turn Ninety EightWind Blast II the Dronebongo and the Corporal's sword into Rattlefang! If not possible, replace items with kobolds in reverse order!
The mighty wizard Tackov is not horrified by Bukkar's flappy head for long – no! He lets out the deep blast of wind within him and beavers it right out behind the Sacred Dronebongo and the evil sharp kobold sword in the kobold corporal's evil sharp hand.
First is the Dronebongo – one moment eyeing up the room to spy another tasty victim to mutilate; the next moment flying uncontrollably through the air towards its master, missing him by inches, bouncing off the ceiling, and coming to a spinning halt at the feet of the wind mage.
”Hello,” it seems to say.
”Good morning.”It bares its teeth.
And then the kobold corporal! One minute advancing ferociously though ineffectively on Mummywhiz, and the next staring in amazement as his sword flies out of his hand as if by magic, and hurls itself straight out of the Throne Room!
Just at that moment, Medha Correo runs up to Gervedder Vietzo, peering into the combat from above.
”Did I miss anyth-arggggggggh!”...Medha Correo appears to have grown a sword in the chest!
Wound Acquired: Medha Correo:
Pierced Chest!Attack back!
The Sacred Dronebongo, angered at being flung across the room like a mere tambourine, doesn't stare at Tackov for very long. It knows that Tackov is probably
at least as tasty as the slightly acrid tasting human he just bit.
...In a sickening flash, the Dronebongo leaps at Tackov's groin, misses by centimetres, and bites off the wizard's leg!
”Arg!”Wound Acquired: Tackov Cedtry:
Severed Left Leg!Continue attacking!
Inspired by the fearless and dreadful assault of their holy relic, the kobolds continue to attack, with added competence.
The two crossbowkobolds keep shooting suppressing fire at the hole in the roof, keeping Gervedder dancing round from foot to foot.
...They hit, and suddenly, like his friend Medha next to him, Gervedder has an object protruding from his chest! As he looks down to see what it is though, the crossbow bolt falls out of his chest, leaving him completely unharmed.
Rather clever of me, he thinks,
To have bought that...Nearby the battle rages on as the swordless corporal tries to punch the mummywhiz a bit,
...but fails, and the swordful sergeant tries to stab Tackov in the head, and doesn't.
...Fail, that is.
Wound Acquired: Tackov Cedtry:
Head Blood!Shoot Rattlefang in the groin once more! Hopefully such mutilation will strike fear into the hearts of the kobolds present. Perform the shot while doing the ranged combatant evasion dance.
Staring intently at Rattlefang the Perfidious' groin, Gervedder Vietzo suddenly feels rather uncomfortable.
Snapping out of it rather quickly, he quickly shoots off a bolt towards the shamanic crotch,
...and pierces it maliciously!
He breathes a deep sigh of satisfaction.
Wound Acquired: Rattlefang:
Bleeding Groin!
MORALE CHECK REQUIRED: KOBOLD UNDERLINGSUnderling 1: 6!
Underling 2: 5!
EVERYTHING IS OK DESPITE SEEING THEIR LEADER BLEED FROM THE GROIN!
Somehow drink health potions of everything. Also drink my own face blood to prevent fluid loss.
Bravely retreat very fast while doing so.
As he flees from the maelstrom, one hand holding his head on and the other also holding his head on, Bukkar has just one thing to say:
BLUBULG.
He tries to lick his face to stop the blood flowing everywhere and to keep his precious fluids in, but it seems to have little positive effect.
...Perhaps he feels a tiny bit better, but he's too busy holding his head on to really notice.
Action: Aerial bombardment of curse grenade will commence! Ground zero is rattlefang!
Also order Medha to do something if she's just standing there.
"We're about to lose our shiftless drunken teammate!" cries Lady Foxglove, swooping in to the kobold chieftain on her warsquid, wielding some kind of manky look bag,
"Attack harder!" she usefully adds,
...before fumbling said bag and spilling the contents all over her and then inexplicably falling with a crash to the stony floor of the Throne Room, where she proceeds to writhe about covered in what seem to be living jellied eels.
Her hair is
absolutely ruined.She also smells of eel.
Wound Acquired: Lady Foxglove:
Damaged Pride!Charge and club that pesky wind-mage!
"HAHA! See what happens to nasty fatlings?! Sacred dronebongo unleash terrible wrath! And terrible eels!
And YOU. Tricksy wizard not hides from ME!"...Charging forward not very far, Rattlefang first menaces Tackov the Naked Terror, and then smacks him rather gently on the right leg with his club, as if to make a point and say that, well, you've only got one now, you'd better watch what you're up to if you don't want to lose that one too, dongferret.
Such as heal Bukkar.
Medha, recently appearing on the scene, realises a medical emergency when she sees one. No – not the sword poking through her chest, but Bukkar: he's holding his head on with his bare hands!
...She leaps through the hole in the roof, landing face first and smashing several teeth out.
Wound Acquired: Medha Correo:
Damageder Face!Use both Gee Whiz abilities, then shoot the kobold shaman as many times as possible with normal bolts.
...Getting a bit overexcited by all the blood and severing, Whiz – the Speedificent – makes a funny kind of motion, and starts blurring visibly, and then makes another funny kind of motion, and starts blurring almost invisibly, whereupon he rushes up to Rattlefang the Shamanic Menace, and shoots him repeatedly point blank in the body with his crossbow.
It's not actually that terribly effective, but when Whiz finally slows down enough to take stock, he can at least reflect that there is a nice crossbow bolt sticking out of the kobold who bravely stuck himself in front of his chieftain's chest.
The heavily bleeding minion crawls away.
Actions in initiative order.
Mission: Retrieve the Magical Mandolin Part from the Fortress of Koboldy Doom.
Map:
Everyone is in the Throne Room, except for Gervedder, who is above it.
Name: Tackov Cedtry
Class: Level 3 Gusty Wind Mage
Status: +1 missile defence. +1 to future gut damage. -1 to melee. Naked! -1 to legs, movement and dodge.
Health: [HP: 05/60] |
Severed Guts! |
Very Heavy Head Bleeding |
Severed Left Leg! |
Head Blood!Abilities: Magical Typhoon I,
Wind Blast I,
Wind Blast II,
Wind Step I,
Squishy,
Sissy Slap FightInventory: Minor Mana Potion x1,
Scroll of Beginner’s Fireball x1,
Mouldy Wizard Hat, You Bastard the Mangy Donkey,
Cloak of Camouflage, 524 Green Farthings, 54 Yuros, Several heavy rocks, saucepan.
Name: Whiz
Class: Level 3 Whiznificent Whiz Wiz(ard)
Status: +1 to lower leg defence. -1 to social interaction except with rats. +1 to balancing. +1 to strength. Last in initiative rolls.
Health: [HP: 55/85] |
Giant Rat’s Tail! Mummy! |
Heavily Bleeding Chest!Abilities: Red Carpet,
Shield I,
Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast! Gee, Mr. Whiz, You Sure Are Fast II,
Obviously a Powerful Wizard,
It’ll Make You Blind!Inventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Raider’s Dress of Shin Protection, 100 Yuros,
Middling Mana Potion x1, Cutlass, Three daggers,
Minor Health Potion x2, +1 Bolt of Accuracy x4, +1 Bolt of Burning x3, +1 Bolt of Paralysis x1,
Carrying Serf x0 (not currently mounted), 0 Green Farthings.
Name: Medha Correo
Class: Level 3 Alchemist Curse Crafter
Status: +1 to gut defence. +1 to chest defence. -1 to non-stone-based social interaction.
Health: [HP: 16/85] |
Draconic Ribcage! Shiny Rock Face! |
Pierced Chest!Skull Spider Health: [HP: 25/25]Abilities: Craft Curse Grenade,
Opportunistic Attack I,
Curse Crafter,
Curse of the Fool,
Wandering Asshole,
Curse of the Curse CrafterInventory: Dagger, Half a dress, 59 bandages,
Neckless of the Ribless, Dagger, Lock picking kit,
Iron Cuirass, 111 Yuros, Crossbow,
Brittle Jagged Groinbone Dagger of Good, 4 vials of human blood, 6 vials of kobold blood,
Grenade of the Fool x0, Serpent's Benediction plant x1, Faery-weed x1, A Shiny Stone, Bottle of Dragon Blood, a six foot plank of wood, a rune dagger,
Curse of Being Stepped Upon! Name: Gervedder Vietzo
Class: Level 3 Damaged Opportunistic Messenger
Status: +1 to gut and chest defence. +1 defence if moves.
Health: [HP: 85/85]Abilities: Just a Brainflesh Wound,
Nimble Feet,
This Messenger Delivers,
Make Way for the Messenger! Important,
Stop For DirectionsInventory: Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver, 0 bandages, 2 Yuros,
Iron Cuirass, Crossbow, Gerald the Mule, Two weeks rations and a bedroll,
Apprentice Herbalist's Manual,
Herbalist's Containers x5, Large Cork x1.
Name: Lady Foxglove Vainglorious the III
Class: Level 3 Glamorous Ravenhaired Crusader
Status: +1 to head, chest and groinbone defence.
Health: [HP: 60/85]Abilities: Ravena’s Ear,
Silent as a Raven’s Wing,
Opportunistic,
Honeyed Tongue,
Vain,
Self-RelianceInventory: Minor Health Potion x1, Crossbow, Unlimited Quiver,
Masterwork Helm,
Flying Warsquid, Sword,
Mercenary Squidrider Uniform,
Masterwork Poledancing Pole,
chainmail lingerie, 34 Yuros, 10 bandages, Decent provisions (day) x4, Live eel x649, Red dragon-scale vest,
Curse Grenade of the Slimy Eel.
Name: Bukkar Crangrom
Class: Level 3 Sprayin' Ragin' Mage
Status: Naked! -1 to Arse.
Health: [HP: 11/85] |
The Vomiting! |
Paralysed Arse! |
Severed Head!Abilities: Rage Flight,
Rage Lazors I,
Ass of the Flaming Foot I,
Lightning Fist I,
Always Looking For a Fight,
Always HungoverInventory: Sword of Severing! Crossbow, 0 Green Farthings,
Large Sealed Bling Barrel, Large Cork x1, pick.
Name: Rattlefang the Perfidious
Class: Level 4 Kobold Shamano-Chieftain
Status: +1 to ranged defence. +1 to attacks next turn. +1 to defence against spells. +1 to head and chest defence.
Health: [HP: 55/75] |
Bleeding Groin!Abilities: Monologue Boss,
Lost in the Scuffle,
Shinkicker I,
Slippery,
Mighty Warrior....
Inventory: Turtleskull Staff! Fur Cloak! Dragon Skull Helm! Dragon Groinbone Breastplate! Shamanic Dronebongo! Middling Mana Potion,
Minor Health Potion x0 (all with melee weapons and crossbows)
Name: Kobold Sergeant
Health: [HP: 60/60]Abilities: Sneaky ChargeInventory: Fancy SwordName: Kobold Corporal
Health: [HP: 40/40]Abilities: Sneaky ChargeName: Kobold Bodyguard x1
Health: [HP: 20/20]Abilities: Look Out Srrrraaargh!Name: Rattlefang’s dronebongo
Health: [HP: 15/30] |
Heavy Bongo Part Bleeding!
Author
Topic: Roll to Dungeon Quest - It's not you, it's me. (Read 194160 times)