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Author Topic: Urist McNorris  (Read 970 times)

Cykophrog

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Urist McNorris
« on: April 13, 2013, 03:23:02 pm »

I was just thinking about a great moment I had in DF when I first started playing.  I never thought much of it at the time, but since I've never seen it done again I now realize it was a Chuck Norris level of badassery.
Mason (untrained in any fighting skills) spots a kobold thief weilding a large knife.  He grabs the kobold by the knife, then bites out his throat.  As the kobold is bleeding to death from the torn throat, he proceeds to continuously stab the kobold with his own knife until he bleeds out.

Just curious about what other Urist McNorris stories folks might have.
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Skorp

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Re: Urist McNorris
« Reply #1 on: April 13, 2013, 04:55:54 pm »

Mine is a dog McNorris, I found a cyclops lair so I send a dog as a bait to my trap corridor but somehow(I think it has something to do with the fact that the dog was standing outside and the cyclops bellow) the dog bite his head, shake and he lose consciousness. The dog continue to attack the same way and ended killing the beast.
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"I'M NOT DONE WITH THE GORY PULP THAT IS YOUR EYES! I WILL ERASE THE VAGUE IMPRESSION THAT YOU WERE EVER ABLE TO SEE AT ALL! FORGET THE VITAL ORGANS, BLINDING THE BLINDED AS I BLIND BLIND PEOPLE IS ALL THAT MATTERS!"

-Urist McMason, enraged at having found a Gecko Man in his fortress.
Urist McMason likes Gecko Man Eyes.

Urist Mc Dwarf

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Re: Urist McNorris
« Reply #2 on: April 13, 2013, 06:26:34 pm »

I had a legendary crutch-walker carpenter whose only fighting skill was rusty novice dodger and rusty dabbling kicker. Carpenter beat three goblins too death with artifact bone crutch.

MattStriker

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Re: Urist McNorris
« Reply #3 on: April 13, 2013, 08:50:18 pm »

One of my axedwarves got his foot cut off early in a goblin battle. Instead of falling over and bleeding out like I expected him to do, he entered a martial trance and completely trashed two goblin squads. He died grappling the goblin leader, who fell over dead moments later when the rest of my troops finally arrived on the scene.

That guy had been my newest, greenest recruit, equipped with a shitty bronze axe while all the rest of my troops were using steel. He was wearing a mix of iron, copper and bronze. He still got 7 kills.
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CaptainLambcake

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Re: Urist McNorris
« Reply #4 on: April 13, 2013, 09:02:36 pm »

not all that special, but one of my military dwarves literally ran up and kicked the goblin leader, a wererhino, in the head.  one hit, one kill. bam.
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You wake up in (suddenly) your room not somewhere Armok knows where. Travels in deserts and goblin forests turned up to be a dreams borned by procreation of your autistic imagination.

MrSparky

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Re: Urist McNorris
« Reply #5 on: April 13, 2013, 09:19:35 pm »

Not really mcnorris but one of my favorite combats:
An injured hauler spots a goblin thief crawling away from our trap lined entrance. The traps have pretty much beaten it into a pulp judging by it's description. The hauler whacks it thrice on the head with a wooden crutch *WHACK WHACK WHACK* and the goblin is dead.
It wasn't spectacular in any way, but my mental image of limping dwarf beating an already battered goblin with a crutch is awesome.
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thegoatgod_pan

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Re: Urist McNorris
« Reply #6 on: April 13, 2013, 09:23:21 pm »

Kitten mcnorris. Killed a giant by attacking near the edge of an arena. The giant dodged into the depths of the third cavern and went *splat*. Later that kitten got chained up near by the tigerman mayor.
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More ridiculous than reindeer?  Where you think you supercool and is you things the girls where I honestly like I is then why are humans on their as my people or what would you?

MattStriker

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Re: Urist McNorris
« Reply #7 on: April 14, 2013, 06:22:36 am »

not all that special, but one of my military dwarves literally ran up and kicked the goblin leader, a wererhino, in the head.  one hit, one kill. bam.

If it was a roundhouse kick, it counts.
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Wolock

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Re: Urist McNorris
« Reply #8 on: April 14, 2013, 07:13:38 am »

Not really a McNorris but more like a Urist McKenobi: I was ambushed by goblin with one squad of archer or crossbow and one of melle. I've send my squad of 6 fully equiped in steel but poorly train. They standed against the melee squad but got beaten badly so I called my miners to the fight. Two of them finished the melee squad then one charge the other squad while the other lagged behind. He deflected a lot of bolts with his pickaxe. He received only one bolt in the the mouth point-blank range at the time he got in contact and somehow fall to the ground. Then he killed most the squad while the other miner took finished the job.

But yeah it's normal for miners... But I'm impressed each time I have them fight.
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