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[DrPoo]

So uhh my computer is being a dick. It decides to get out of hibernate randomly. So this time i wanted to close it down fast again. It said it needed to update and shut down. So i did the natural response and used alt f4 to tell it to shut down without installing

It wouldnt listen.

Just sits there for whole hours on full jet fan mode as it always does when i DONT want to.
I once got really fucking frustrated and held the power button to forcibly shut it down. But that resulted in having to recover it. Wich took way too long time, i had to go to an examn.

It also once did that shitty clown trick when i was about to go to school. I got 30 minutes late and i had to run several km with 10 kg in my bag. Wich is very much for my weak and slender little back.

Dear microsoft: go break a bottle and shove it up your ugly ass. Leave my sleep alone and dong overrule my decisions.

Theese capitalist pigs also woke me up this night with their bullshit. I was dreaming a dream you morons. About a new girl even, and we were about to kiss jesus dicks. ASSHOLES

Shithead.

[Tellemurius]

stop drinking

[Loud Whispers]

Generally when your computer is trying to shut down to install something, that's around the time it says please do not turn off your computer and it might be for a good reason.
Consider letting it do what it wants to do?

[Alastar]

To be honest, that behaviour is unacceptable and Microsoft deserves a slap for it.
Perhaps disable automatic updates, but keep your system reasonably up-to-date manually (security patches scheduled for 2nd Tuesday each month). I suppose switching to a more civilised operating system isn't an option?

About a new girl even, and we were about to kiss jesus dicks.

Perhaps I'm too literal-minded, but... interesting mental image.

[Tellemurius]

To be honest, that behaviour is unacceptable and Microsoft deserves a slap for it.
Perhaps disable automatic updates, but keep your system reasonably up-to-date manually (security patches scheduled for 2nd Tuesday each month). I suppose switching to a more civilised operating system isn't an option?

About a new girl even, and we were about to kiss jesus dicks.

Perhaps I'm too literal-minded, but... interesting mental image.

don't think Linux does it too, im not here to make it perfect for you.

[kahn1234]

stop treating your poor computer so badly.

user error seems to be causing your problems. consider better time management?

also which operating system are you using? Win 7? Win 8? XP?

[foil]

lol, what update is not installing?  You can check in Windows Update "update History" on right side.  Its probably Internet Exploder update failing and then breaking every update that follows it in the current update run.

Even on a fresh install of Windows, if you select IE in Windows update while 1st updating Windows, IE will fail then stop 10-20 updates in the queue from ever installing leaving your pc vulnerable and unable to install the updates in future.

Best to leave the IE update until last and let everything else finish properly.

About pc randomly waking through the night, you need to go into device manager and for the mouse and keyboard, goto their properties/power management and untick "device can wake the computer"

I usually just adjust the mouse to stop the random starts but some keyboards can cause it too, try just the mouse 1st as adjusting the keyboard settings stops the pc from waking when pressing keys, which is handy if pc is out the way...

[DrPoo]

It decided to get out of hibernate randomly in the night, full jet fan mode, waking me up. So i went to shut it down, saw that little windows update icon on the shtu down button.
So i went alf+f4 instead and pressed Shut down without installing updates.

Not user error, seriously, i read the option 3 four times a row and it didnt say anything about installing that update, and i went to check, there was also a Install updates and shut down option.
I picked the Shut down minus the update option. BUT NOEP.

[PanH]

1) Shut down your computer at night. Little penguins and baby seals thank you.
2) Restart your computer, if you interrupted an update, Microsoft will install it for you with the BIOS (yea, guess how I discovered that).
3) If the bear is about to hibernate, don't poke it with a stick yelling "GO TO SLEEP, YOU MORON !"
4) Restart your computer, but don't look at it. There's 76% more chance of a bug happening if you look at the update screen.

[Ameablable]

hit it with s heavy stick

[Starver]

PanH got there before me, but I would very strongly recommend against using Hibernate at all, except for very specific occasions (perhaps a netbook/laptop where you need it near instantly available at irregular intervals but can't keep it always on for reasons of power).  However, I realise some people like to use it, so feel free to ignore my discouragement.

A full shut down doesn't leave zombie remnants of past programs in memory (or at least probably restored back there from the hibernation file's copy of the memory state).  Starting from a scratch screen of bare desktop with only whatever StartUp/registry-run TSRs you allow gives you a nice clean sheet, and you'll not be suffering from memory-leaks carried over from the last session.  (You can set most browsers to restart the tabs that were last closed, if you have a complex set of websites you monitor.  I know this from experience, having 27 tabs active in this browser, four 'active' in another (that I don't currently running, but which will start up on request), and 38 tabs in a third browser... although it looks like at least half of those are ones I shall prune before shutting it down next time, being not so important.)

It also lets you (when you choose to shut it down/restart, and let it do so) get the restart-necessary updates installed in a timely fashion rather than waiting until the rare times you restart fully (intentionally, or on an error, etc), and makes each process individually shorter and less harrying to your patience than the one big occasion when you find yourself "Updating 15 out of 25 updates", or somesuch, and wondering how many more are going to be several minutes'-worth more wait.

Or (mainly in XP era) find yourself with a "computer will restart in 15 minutes, unless you click here to delay this message for another 15 minutes" thing.  Which invariable pops up while your computer is doing something complex (rendering or simulating) in the middle of the night and you're asleep at the time so wake to find the system restarted.  (And the only official way to disable this behaviour is to disable to auto-updating system, of course.  So you have to deliberately and manually initiate these and hope you don't get a "+1 day", as well as a zero-day, onto your system somehow.)


As for coming out of hibernate, randomly...  Have you checked you haven't got Wake-on-LAN or Wake-on-Keyboard/Mouse active, such that something (maybe even a stray bit of electrical noise) persuades the notionally asleep machine to wind itself back up?  (This might also apply to a powered-down computer, if still powered.  But unplugging/turning off the wall switch would cure that as well.  As it would for a hibernated machine, however so the switch-on might be being triggered.)

[DrPoo]

Thanks man. I should proably consider backing up my stuff and do a clean install.
I run Win7 by the way.

Also since this is a laptop and i have fairly large hands, i have a tendency to hitting the mousepad causing it to click and do anything from placing my cursor some stupid place while writing or something completely unrelevant. Theres no mousepad icon and its really annoying. I tried disabling the mousepad driver but it dragged my usb mouse with it itno its death.

[Alastar]

Unfortunately (?), I don't have access to a Windows box.

Thanks man. I should proably consider backing up my stuff and do a clean install.
I run Win7 by the way.

Sometimes a virgin install runs without immediately obvious problems... until you do something risque like opening a file, deleting a file, installing an update or changing the wallpaper. I'd reserve a reinstall for serious problems resistant to troubleshooting.

Let's try again if we can keep your computer (and yourself) from waking up spontaneously. In a Windows Command Prompt:
"powercfg -lastwake" should tell you who interrupted your dreams of kissing jesus dicks.
"powercfg -devicequery wake_armed" should tell you who else might.
"powercfg –devicedisablewake <miscreant>" should stop them from doing so.

Also since this is a laptop and i have fairly large hands, i have a tendency to hitting the mousepad causing it to click and do anything from placing my cursor some stupid place while writing or something completely unrelevant. Theres no mousepad icon and its really annoying. I tried disabling the mousepad driver but it dragged my usb mouse with it itno its death.

You stated your problem, not your preferred solution. Does either of these help?
http://www.t-x-2.com/articles/archive/how-to-disable-touchpad-in-windows-7-turn-off-your-laptops-internal-mouse/
http://code.google.com/p/touchfreeze/

[Zrk2]

stop drinking

This. That post was mostly incoherent swearing.

[i2amroy]

1) Shut down your computer at night. Little penguins and baby seals thank you.

This right here is really what should be done. Unlike Macs (which are designed to do their updates/background work while still on/asleep), Windows OS is designed to do most of it's work during the shutdown/startup processes. As such Windows computers really benefit from being shutdown fairly often.