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[Jimmy]

Well, I don't know you or her, but if she's leaving you little flirty messages in a minecraft game and she's seeing someone else, it sounds like she's jerking your chain. Some girls get off on attention from guys.

Go out and make some new friends. Take up a hobby, join a social group, team sport or something. If you feel lonely and isolated, get out of the house and start to meet people instead. Plenty of fish in the sea, don't sweat the ones that get away.

[Darkmere]

So, taking this whole thing in at once paints an interesting picture. Stop for a second and re-read what you started off with. See how miserable you sounded? That's what you're crawling back to - someone who cares for you so much that she strings you along as far as you'll go and you keep coming back for more because it's comfortable to do so. You were so close to having a life not mired in this bullshit, why turn around and dive back into the pile now?

Learn to stand on your own (because you can!) first. Life ain't over just because you're single, and you can make new friends. Some of them might even be pretty cool people who don't afraid of anything... but deciding you're defeated before you try just fulfills itself, and sends you back to the bad place you came here asking how to leave.

[Vector]

Zehive, every time you start talking about your potential life together you sound like you're in the middle of having a panic attack.  That's not a good sign, okay?  That's a really, extremely bad sign (you know, speaking from experience).  It sounds like she's being emotionally abusive.  You need to get out of there.

[GiglameshDespair]

She is using you.

Cut it off with her completely. Block her on skype. Defriend her on facebook. Find a new minecraft server. Don't answer her calls. She is using you. You are not a puppet, to dance on her strings. You want to go back to her because you were comfortable in your misery. Without having to improve anything, you never had to try and confront the source of pain. She is using you. Do not let her. It hurts more to pull the splinter out, but it needs to be removed before it can heal. You let her come back in and this whole miserable cycle will begin again. She has shown no regard for you. She is bad for you.

if your country has national health, see if you can start meeting with a psychatrist. You are not a tool for her to use and discard, you are your own person. Be your own person, because while you can be hers, she will not be yours.

[zehive]

AHAHAHAHAHA

[Vector]

Okay.  I've been there before.

It doesn't matter if she's doing it on purpose or not-on-purpose.  You need to get away from her as fast as you can.  Cut off all contact and ride it out, because you'll probably feel a lot better when you get away.

Your suffering, the amount you need her and she doesn't need you, empowers her.  I suspect that she's power-tripping, and though she wouldn't identify what she's doing as abuse, she probably enjoys it.  So, since you've obviously done everything you can to be a good communicator, you need to stop expecting anything from her and just get out of there ASAP.

You are going to feel a lot better.  It may take a while, but you have to get away.  And that's a step only you can take.  It's a brave, hard, strong step to take.  But you can do it.

[zehive]

Dom yole

[Vector]

Have you checked Meetup.com?  Or similar?  Don't think "optimum," think "meeting baseline."

Having left a difficult situation myself and pretty much gone without friends for nine months afterwards, I can tell you that the isolation ended up being worth it.  It sucked.  But it was better than what I'd been experiencing.  I survived by taking a class at the local community college, but I think that nowadays I'd probably do more stuff like trying to join local chess clubs or whatever.

[zehive]

A gaite

[Vector]

Just Google around for [interest] + [your area] + group.  I think that meetups.com is the most common one, but you can often find stuff like all sorts of game clubs, arts and crafts, all sorts of great stuff.

Plus, if you know any game stores or art stores or whatever, there will often be fliers for cheap events or just roleplaying groups looking for players, that sort of thing.  Little cafes will let performance groups put up notices, too.  So you can find all kinds of crazy things that way, stuff you might not think you'd enjoy but hey, it's cheap entertainment, so why not.

I've also gotten luck with community college theater productions.  They're usually pretty good and the tickets can often be less than a movie!

[zehive]

Edect

[GiglameshDespair]

You sound like you feel like it's you fault. You did not let her down. She let you down. She is the one at fault here. Not you.

Leave her a message that you should have no contact and you want to see how it goes, then de-friend her on facebook. Block her on skype. Put her email in your blacklist. basically, once you don't talk to her, leave her no ways in which to contact you. If you do it, do it in a quick clean cut, like tearing off a plaster.

I can't really help all that much in the whole bringing yourself to do it. Don't think about it. Don't think about how it'll affect you or her. Just do it. Hell, do it now.
Don't delay if you can help it. Every moment you delay lets doubt wriggle a bit further into you. You may really miss her once you start but don't give in. to do so defeats the point, and makes you look needy.

once you've done it, distract yourself. If you have work, see if you can do overtime. Go on long walks. Join the gym and pump some iron. Just get yourself active and tired by night so you go to sleep quickly. Really, exercise. It's surprisingly fun, and is good for you.

[Vector]

Act like she's dead.

This is what I do, anyway.  Listen to sad songs, wear black for a month, whatever you need to convince yourself that she's gone and she ain't coming back.  It doesn't matter how much she loved you.  It doesn't matter how much you loved her.  You just can't be with her right now.

Also, try not to have arguments with her in your head.  This is my particular sin and it has never made anything better.

[zehive]

Tip

[Vector]

Like I said--do a fake funeral if you have to.  Cut off all contact and then maybe do some sort of ritual, see if that would help you.  Do something meaningful for you.

You do sound better now, though, by the way.  That makes me think this is the right idea.