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Author Topic: Me and my partner  (Read 29311 times)

zehive

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Me and my partner
« on: April 09, 2013, 01:40:53 am »

Bruhnwrite a book
« Last Edit: September 05, 2019, 02:28:35 pm by zehive »
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zehive

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Re: delet
« Reply #1 on: April 09, 2013, 11:38:05 am »

Ollk
« Last Edit: September 05, 2019, 02:28:48 pm by zehive »
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ScriptWolf

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Re: delet
« Reply #2 on: April 13, 2013, 03:20:58 pm »

Honestly I would say that she is sort of using you for what she wants and then when it suits her dumps you to be with someone else.

You have to know where you stand with her, it's not helping you with her just dumping you when it's convenient for her.

Don't let her use you.
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Sigulbard

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Re: delet
« Reply #3 on: April 13, 2013, 03:35:10 pm »

I'm going to give you the short of it so I'm not writing three pages...
Oh, ok, yeah. You only wrote two and a half pages. :P
Anti-depressants are very bad, though. It's more like a last resort option in my opinion. There are much better and healthier altenatives out there.
Doctors tend to be too generous with dem anti-depressants these days. It's time to stop taking them.
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MetalSlimeHunt

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Re: delet
« Reply #4 on: April 13, 2013, 03:41:57 pm »

It's clearly over between you two. I think you are focusing far, far too much on any contribution the antidepressants had to this.
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Quote from: Thomas Paine
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead, or endeavoring to convert an atheist by scripture.
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Jo

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« Reply #5 on: April 14, 2013, 05:00:18 am »

I'm really sorry brother. I've been there.

It's hard to set hard and fast rules, but there are a couple of things that let you know you aren't the only man around any more. When she's talking about another dude, that's the sure sign.

So you have to ask yourself. Do you hate yourself so much you'll stick with a lady who has another man?

It's complete crap for me to say this now, as you won't really believe it, but you landed one lady already. You'll land another just as good. And with the experience you have now the next will be even better.

The best part is, and you'll not believe it now, when you get the next one this one will seem barely important or notable.

Geez I feel old. You are really taking me back. I had to learn the hard way about how doctors can be pushers and even pharmacy drugs are terrible. If it helps, think of it this way, if your lady got onto crack or meth and changed her behavior how long would you stick around? The correct answer is Zero Seconds.
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Jimmy

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Re: delet
« Reply #6 on: April 14, 2013, 06:30:11 am »

Are you sure you're not shifting the blame for the relationship problems you're having onto the medication she's taking?

Antidepressants won't fundamentally alter who a person is. Antipsychotics maybe, but not antidepressants.

With the little perspective you've supplied, it sounds like a lot of the root causes of your issues stem from her relationship with this third person. You feel this man has a serious possibility of replacing your spot as her boyfriend.

From the other statements you've made, it appears you have a fundamental objection to the concept of using medication to improve mental health problems. I'm assuming you were offered and refused antidepressants for your PTSD by a doctor? Have you been seeking alternative treatment for this instead, such as seeing a counselor or psychologist?

The only advice I'll offer is to recommend you focus your efforts on yourself instead of others for the time being. Become happy within yourself, work through your own issues and become the person you'd want to be in a relationship with. If you like yourself enough others will tend to reflect this, and it will fix the reason your girlfriend broke off your relationship. Expecting her to change for you is doomed to fail. Make some new friends, try some new things, and don't let one failed relationship define who you are.
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Jo

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« Reply #7 on: April 14, 2013, 08:37:47 am »

Gawd I feel bad for this dude. He's obviously hurtin'.

Good luck brother. This your first big time girl? That's rough dude.
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Catsup

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« Reply #8 on: April 14, 2013, 08:54:54 am »

when in doubt, cut her off and find a new one, or be alone. Remember you are whole on your own, you dont really need anyone else, though its good to be in a relationship.

without trust, and with insecurity about, no relationship can work; maybe ask her and try talking to her before you break it off? tell her to keep a clear head and that its a serious talk before telling her your feelings. If she says its not a good time then do it at another time, but you have to talk to her.


on another note, doctors tend to be very empathetic towards their patients, their profession requires it. She might not be having the feelings you think she is, and even if she is its very likely not mutual. I dont think shes cheating.

zehive

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Re: delet
« Reply #9 on: April 19, 2013, 07:02:45 am »

Got sucks
« Last Edit: September 05, 2019, 02:29:09 pm by zehive »
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weenog

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« Reply #10 on: April 19, 2013, 11:04:52 am »

It's never a good time to talk about something a selfish person doesn't want to hear.  Talk anyway.

A wise man once told me, "Love isn't about what you feel, it's about what you do.  It's putting the other person's needs first."  If you look at it like that, it's not too difficult to distinguish infatuation and other dramatic ridiculousness from a real relationship.

In my case, it looks like buying the abomination known as lutefisk at a Norsk festival, because she's been looking forward to it forever, but the kiosk only takes cash and she only has cards, and I can't let her be disappointed and embarrassed in public.  Laying awake for six hours in an awkward position with a crushed shoulder and a dead arm, hurting for nicotine and knowing I have to work tomorrow, because someone's having nightmares and only calms down with my arm around her.  Discouraging rent contribution offers when she stays here, even though she makes more money, because I know she's got a credit balance to pay down, and I'm debt-free.

On the incoming side, it looks like putting herself at risk to save my life on multiple occasions.  Spending time with me even though I'm a smoker (17 years and thoroughly addicted), and the second-hand smoke sometimes makes her physically ill.  Bringing me things I need but wouldn't go out and get for myself, for budget or time concerns or any other restricting reason.

Figure out for yourself whether you love your partner, and whether she loves you.  Decide what you need to do about it, then go and have a talk.  It won't be a good time.  You need to do it anyway.
« Last Edit: April 19, 2013, 11:55:14 am by weenog »
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Listen up: making a thing a ‼thing‼ doesn't make it more awesome or extreme.  It simply indicates the thing is on fire.  Get it right or look like a silly poser.

It's useful to keep a ‼torch‼ handy.

zehive

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Re: delet
« Reply #11 on: April 21, 2013, 07:57:15 am »

Badly
« Last Edit: September 05, 2019, 02:29:22 pm by zehive »
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ScriptWolf

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Re: delet
« Reply #12 on: April 21, 2013, 11:17:18 am »

Zehive I think the only thing you really can do is what makes you and her happy in the long run. And you have to do what would be best for each over.

In my opinion I would say you run and run as far as you can and leave her to get on with her own business she may love you,but she does not love you enough to put you over another guy or put you over her self when you really need it.

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weenog

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« Reply #13 on: April 21, 2013, 11:54:20 am »

So, you love her.  Sounds like she doesn't love you at all.  Are you looking for a kick in the ass for not changing or ending the relationship status, or a way to make her give you the love you feel you've earned?
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Listen up: making a thing a ‼thing‼ doesn't make it more awesome or extreme.  It simply indicates the thing is on fire.  Get it right or look like a silly poser.

It's useful to keep a ‼torch‼ handy.

zehive

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Re: delet
« Reply #14 on: April 21, 2013, 12:20:10 pm »

Yikes
« Last Edit: September 05, 2019, 02:29:34 pm by zehive »
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