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[Kadzar]

But the 67th division never fails!
Check chapter 868 paragraph 20578 verse 489
It should say something about zombie ghosts.

Ah, you're right; it says you can perform a ritual to turn 50 pinecones into 1 ghostbuck , which can be used to hire hobo zombie ghosts.

But the fact remains that you currently have not pinecones in your possession.

[TherosPherae]

Churar: Berate Nicholas Cage for his hunger. Threaten to replace him with Will Smith.

Spoiler: OOC (click to show/hide)

what madness have I started?

[Kadzar]

Churar: Berate Nicholas Cage for his hunger. Threaten to replace him with Will Smith.

(*I can't think of anything else to do with rolling*) Bah, says Cage, Will Smith would demand ferret flesh! Just feed me already!

You continue to refuse Mr. Cage his crow flesh, so eventually he stars spewing an opaque green fluid, which forms a large puddle on the arcade floor. From this puddle arise body parts made of the fluid; arms and hands and tentacles of slime rising and clawing and writhing in your direction.

This is the price traitors pay, says loincloth!Nicholas Cage.

Spoiler: OOC (click to show/hide)

what madness have I started?

Spoiler: OOC (click to show/hide)

You wanted to dream, so we're operating on dream logic here.

[TherosPherae]

Churar: Eat Nicholas Cage.

[freeformschooler]

Albrecht considers sleeping, but he realizes he is a 75-80% Moon Man. Sleep has little to no benefit for him because weird moon biology! He instead waits outside for the sun to rise and his cohort to be ready.

Spoiler: OOC (click to show/hide)

Oh my God, the Nicholas Cage thing.

[Doomblade187]

This insult shall not stand! Chase after the craven fool!

[Kadzar]

Churar: Eat Nicholas Cage.

(*Steamy hot rolling action!*) You eat Nicholas Cage and gain his powers. You now have the ability to turn into a motorcycle-riding flaming skeleton and find long-lost historic relics (you probably will only be able to use them while dreaming.)

You use this second ability to track down one of those giant-blood tokens. Turns out it was stuck in some couch cushions for the previous couple eons.

You stick the token into a nearby machine, and fail to notice how the graphics are much nicer than anything you would find in an arcade these days. Soon enough, your consciousness exists inside the game, and you are faced-off against one of the giants whose metallic blood was originally used to form the mystical tokens.

This insult shall not stand! Chase after the craven fool!

(*Roll to roll*) You flap your sails to chase after Vegeta and your ex-girlfriend. He asks what exactly you're trying to accomplish here and doubles his speed.

Suddenly, a large pelican wearing a vest flies in front of you.

Excuse me, Mr. Douglas, he says, which you recognize as you name. I have a telegram for you. It says your presence is requested immediately on Candy Island, and a direct portal has been provided for you.

He opens his vest and you can see a portal to what you recognize as Candy Island underneath.

[Doomblade187]

Into the portal!

[TherosPherae]

Churar: Critical Accelerate Self, then make with the chipmunk punching.

[Tsuchigumo550]

Wake up, have a moment of FLIP THE FUCK OUT, then realize that I'm not coated in spiders... Leave the inn, meet up with Albrecht, and suppress itchiness.

"Time to farm, right?, Cynri begins, lighting her fiery torches.

[freeformschooler]

Wake up, have a moment of FLIP THE FUCK OUT, then realize that I'm not coated in spiders... Leave the inn, meet up with Albrecht, and suppress itchiness.

"Time to farm, right?, Cynri begins, lighting her fiery torches.

Albrecht nods.

"YES. TIME TO FACEPUNCH CRABFACED BEARBUGS. BUT FIRST, NEED TO CHECK WITH QUESTGIVER ON WHAT KIND OF BUGBEARS."

Go find nearest quest-giver and accept killy-looty quest.

[Kadzar]

Churar: Critical Accelerate Self, then make with the chipmunk punching.

Into the portal!

(*Fruit Roll Ups?*) Jamethon, who is called Mr. Douglas in this universe and also a flying boat, enters the portal on the pelican's stomach into Candy Island, where he witnesses a chipmunk run super-fast, jump with fists foward, and a headshot a giant with its body, causing it to explode in a gory shower of metallic blood.

Wake up, have a moment of FLIP THE FUCK OUT, then realize that I'm not coated in spiders... Leave the inn, meet up with Albrecht, and suppress itchiness.

"Time to farm, right?, Cynri begins, lighting her fiery torches.

(*Roll call! Wait, no, that's not the right spelling*) Cyrni wakes up, has a moment of FLIP THE FUCK OUT, then realizes she's not actually coated in spiders...then realizes, actually, she is coated in spiders, and FLIPS THE FUCK OUT again.

After brushing herself off thoroughly, she goes over to Albrecht and asks if he's ready to go questing while lighting up her torches.

Wake up, have a moment of FLIP THE FUCK OUT, then realize that I'm not coated in spiders... Leave the inn, meet up with Albrecht, and suppress itchiness.

"Time to farm, right?, Cynri begins, lighting her fiery torches.

Albrecht nods.

"YES. TIME TO FACEPUNCH CRABFACED BEARBUGS. BUT FIRST, NEED TO CHECK WITH QUESTGIVER ON WHAT KIND OF BUGBEARS."

Go find nearest quest-giver and accept killy-looty quest.

(*A roll of duct tape? I'm getting pretty desperate here*) Albrecht agrees, and together they head off in search of a quest-giver.

However, it's late at night, so all the legitimate quest-givers are sleeping or something, or at least not out on the street. So they have to get their quest from a back alley quest-giver.

"Heh heh. Bugbears, eh? Sure, I've seen 'em. They went into that there building over there, and took some valuable for me. I can't be specific about what sort of valuables for, eh, reasons, but all the most valuable valuables you can find in there belong to me, so I'll cut you in  on the ta- er, reward you most generously for bringing them back to me."

[Gamerlord]

((Rats, I hope nothing has changed with my situation.))

Use Thousand Joints Attack! Aim for the eyes!

[DrPoo]

Go pinecone hunting in the pinewood forest. Use race specific powers to aid search

[Kadzar]

((Rats, I hope nothing has changed with my situation.))

Use Thousand Joints Attack! Aim for the eyes!

Actually, Albrecht found an elephant in his room that charged out into the night and flattened both the guards who were trying to arrest you.

Go pinecone hunting in the pinewood forest. Use race specific powers to aid search

(*Insert witty roll-based pun here*) You go out into the pinewood and manage to find about 3 pinecones before you are accosted by cyberwolves.