Extuingish my joint in his eye!
((Hey Theros, stay away from her!))
(*Roll*vs*roll*-*hidden variable*) You extinguish your joint in the guard's eye, and he cries out in pain. "Ow, ow, my eye! My frickin eye!" (*Roll*, *roll*, *roll*+8) Another guard hears him and comes around.
"What's all this, then?"
"This rastard just stabbed a joint in my frickin eye!"
"Assaulting an officer with an illegal substance while naked? I'm sorry sir, but I'm going to have to place you under arrest. Please put your hands behind your back." The guard pulls out some handcuffs and approaches Alam to try to cuff him.
Kill that dire mouse! I don't need a familiar!
Edit: Also, go turn in the "quest".
Ignoring the dire mouse's pleas for mercy, you instead decide to slaughter it to settle your drinking debt. (-3 Honor) You haul him and his nine friends up the tavern keeper, and she says, "thank you, these will make some nice stew. Your debt is cleared." (*Roll*/*roll*+*hidden variable*) "If you want another drink, I could use you to clear the purple oozes out of the women's bathroom."
Politely ask a patron for some of their money. If that fails, ask somewhat less politely.
(*Roll*, *roll*/*roll*+4-*roll*
4)You ask a nearby Dust Elf if he could spare you some pinecones. "No, piss off, beggar!" You level your sword at him. "Are you actually trying to rob me in the middle of a crowded inn?"
OH SNAP
Albrecht uses his mastery over the way of facepunching to invert the elephant's face.
Choosing not to ignore the elephant in the room, Albrecht instead decides smack it in the face. (*Roll*+*roll*/*roll*, *roll*3, *roll* x 5±*roll*, *roll*+*hidden variable*/*roll*) The elephant winces in pain, then uses it's face (it's trunk, specifically) to smack Albrecht around
the room, then picks him up, crashes through the outer wall, charging into the night with the flailing Albrecht held up like a trophy. (*Roll*, *roll*, *roll*/3, *roll*vs*hidden variable*/*secret variable* x 9) As the elephant is charging, it runs into and flattens two guards who were in the middle of trying to arrest a naked hippy. As the elephant walks over the guard with a joint in his eye, it trips a little, and, while quickly recovering, this does cause it to loosen it's grip on Albrecht, who manages to break free of it grasp and land next to the naked Alam. The elephant simply continues on it's previous path, and soon disappears into the night.
CONSCRIPT AN ARMY OF ZOMBIE CELERY FROM THE ENSLAVED CELERY KIN
(*Roll*/2/*roll*+1) You successful conscript an army of zombie celery. However, since, they are still vegetables, by their very definition they are unable to move or do anything productive, and, as undead, they are in a state of rot and decay, so that what you have right now is not so much an army as it is a compost heap.
Churar: wat.
I think this lady wants to juggle your acorns.
Author
Topic: IGYNPADCA RPG (Read 30850 times)