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[Urist Mc Dwarf]

I had my Count request slade items. As a result, my legendary weaponsmith and armorsmith are corpses among other vital dwarves. I am thinking that I will drop my count 4-5 z levels onto wooden spears and swords and than use forgotten beast beast poison for nausea and blister. (Tested it). Than I will drown him, loot his corpse,  and drop his body outside to be eaten by cavern creatures. Next I will build him a slab using no good masons and craftdwarves and drop it  somewhere it will be destroyed. After wards I will trade what is left of his body to the elves. Good?

[WealthyRadish]

If you want to collect the insurance money, it does need to look like an accident. I suggest building a minecart roller coaster over the spear pit, or perhaps build some kind of collapsible lounge over it with the fine luxuries a count would expect.

[MattStriker]

Lock him into a 1-tile room. Add as many small animals as you can find...chickens work particularly well for this. Stuck on a single tile, the animals will get mad and attack anything around them...death by a thousand pecks.

[itg]

I like the chicken plan. A couple other ideas:

Create a garbage chute and lock him in at the bottom. Slowly bludgeon him to death with socks and rotting goblin parts.

Give him some minor wounds (the drop onto wooden spears or the garbage chute will probably do), then make sure the doctor uses stagnant water to clean the wounds. Repeat as necessary to make sure he gets lots of infections. He'll probably suffer for a few months before  suddenly dropping dead.

Make an enclosure for him out of glass windows in your dining room. Strip him naked (draft him into a squad set so the uniform replaces clothing, then delete all armor from the uniform). Make him stand in the enclosure until he literally dies of shame.

[thegoatgod_pan]

Build him a wilderness retreat in the third cavern. Equip him well and send him down to explore. Leave him some food and drink. Make sure neither he, nor anything he happens to find can make it back.

[PDF urist master]

designate a burrow for him in an upright spear trap. then dump his body in a pit of magma. no loose ends.

[comham]

In my current fort I waited for there to be an unsolved murder, then convicted the king. I did wonder whether it would work, maybe the king is exempt from punishments or something, but no, he had his skull crushed like many others. Then about a dozen dorfs abandoned their tattered clothing in his mausoleum.

[HmH]

Lock your noble into the room from which your Dwarven Shotgun is loaded.
When goblins come knocking, have him 'ride shotgun'.

[coldmonkey]

The best way to give nobles accidents is immediately upon ascension. Hey, maybe one could make a trap out of that. Like a tall tower with one tile free in the middle, assign the noble there, lock, then begin to fill it with water so he floats up to the top, where there's no roof and he gets a free waterfall ride all the way down again. For extra irony, build the base of the tower in some shitty rock, then two z-levels of flux, two marble, two copper, bronze, etc. etc. in usefulness/worth progression, until you reach the end of what you're willing to sacrifice, then go back to worthless rock - that's his level as a noble, and where he gets off the elevator.

[moki]

I try not to kill nobles, accidentally or not. I used to get rid of them as fast as possible, but now I see them as a challenge.
My favourite method always was a complicated machinery, involving magma, water and possibly kittens. Just burrowing someone under a drawbridge or into a spike pit may work reasonably well, but an special dwarf deserves a special death. An "accidental" drop from the top of the map to the magma sea is also a possibility that comes to mind. At least, he'll have a great view for his last few seconds.

[wierd]

My favorite is to disable all labors on other dwarves, and force the noble to develop the implicated skill instead.

The "failure to satisfy mandate" crime gets pinned on the the highest skilled dwarf of that discipline. If that dwarf just so happens to be the noble that created the mandate?

Justice is served.

[idgarad]

Step 1 Build a kill pit
Step 2 Make a burrow in the kill pit
Step 3 Assign said noble to kill Pit burrow
Step 4 Seal the Kill Pit
Step 5 Dump enemies into said pit.
Step 6 Get the archers to clean up the pit or flood it after the enemies kill the noble.
Step 7 Harvest goblin meat and bury the noble as a Hero who's life was cut too short but a bad run in the pit.

Or my favorite:

1: Get a werewolf in a sealed room.
2: make a 4 level pit to that room.
3: Build a nice altar to the werewolf.
4: Make sacrifices of all dissenters.

[Eric Blank]

For murdering metalsmiths, nobles ought be given a taste of the magma which forges their desired items. By plummeting into it from the highest possible point.

[CognitiveDissonance]

For murdering metalsmiths, nobles ought be given a taste of the magma which forges their desired items. By plummeting into it from the highest possible point.

Ah yes, the Purple-clothed Magmanauts. They are our heroes.

[omg_scout]

He is a true visionary.

Equip him with a pickaxe and send him to circus to bring some slade.