Woot woot! The update is here!
((If Peanut Weasel hostile = CONSUME))
((If not = leave him))
((Meanwhile = HONEYMIND))
((New rule: whenever a 1 or a 6 is rolled, I will be rolling for 'awesomeness'. So if you punch someone in the face and get a 6, but a 1 for awesome they'll get knocked out. But if you get a 4 for awesome their head explodes. A 5 would kill all their close relatives and a 6 would punch them so hard you retroactively eliminate them from the timeline. If you roll a 1 for doing something… let's just say you better hope for a low roll for awesomeness.))
((P.S. I'd like to know where you guys want me to take this; SPACE and aliens? Or maybe eldritch abominations and Body Horror? Also, would you prefer infrequent BIG updates or regular small ones?))
(Father/Son Relationship Roll = 5)
Your poor little boy squelches up to you and nuzzles your paw. Oh how he has suffered! Well, what's done is done. Now is the time for BIOMASS.
(Attacking a horde of apes without provocation = 3+1=4)
You, Peanut and the minimes charge the crowd of gorillas and chimps, taking them relatively by surprise. The poor primates do not mount a meaningful resistance to the onslaught; only managing to fatally injure one minime before succumbing to your hungry attack.
(Consumption = 5 ((Lucky.)))
You manage to extract almost all the biomass from the ape corpses, leaving only bones, teeth and other undigestables behind. You shamble over to the remaining minimes and add them to the pool of biomass. Then you curl up and begin to focus as CHAOSPeanut stands guard.
(HONEYMIND = 1 ((Uh oh.)) Awesomeness = 5 ((Son of a bitch.)))
YOu begin to shape the biomass you gained into a colossal hive mind beast. It… doesn't go so well. You convulse and twist as the forces you unleashed warp and alter your flesh. The horrific process takes three, gruelling, arduous hours. By the end your body is more deformed and unnatural than Peanut's, but luckily you only resemble a honey badger, not a monkey-badger.
about 12 feet tall, multiple limbs, several of which are at angles and are sized so that they are useless. Face has almost completely been warped, with your teeth no longer being directly attached to your mouth per se, but instead being on the end of tentacles formed from your gums and nerves. Your fur has formed into a black and white set of incredibly fine spines, each hollow and equipped with a gland producing carcinogenic and mutagenic chemicals. Your functional limbs are as follows: six legs, each long and segmented like an insect, three arms, similar to your front paws as a honey badger and eight tentacles emerging from where your tail used to be. you now have seven eyes, arrayed in a ring around your deformed maw and your nostrils and ears… are more or less everywhere.
((Would someone be able to draw this for me because I can't.))
As you recover and grow accustomed to the new layout of your eyes and body you see Peanut frolicking around you. Huh. Seems quite happy at the prospect of dear old dad becoming a freakish abomination.
((This is getting a little slow so why don't I speed things up a little…))
(Encounter Roll (high is bad) = 6 ((Hee hee.)) Awesomeness = 4 ((Excellent.)))
As you and Peanut observe your new form, rasping sounds come from outside the doorway.
(Enemy Behaviour (high is bad) = 5)
The mystery of what is causing said rasping noise is quickly solved as a flood of metal and chaos pours into the room. One look at the forms the metal takes and you can only think 'Kill the abominations'. Kinda ironic, huh? In any case, you now need to deal with the horde of cyber-honey-badgers. And since they are metallic and honey badgers (which don't give a fuck naturally), no jellybeans or biomass for you!
((Okay, some details about the new Status thing: biomass is your total mass in organic materials. Mood is nothing more than how I'm going to write and characterise the characters.))
STATUS
Party
Maple Weasel: Horrific HoneyMind Abomination
Health: good
Hunger: a little hungry
Mood: WHAT THE FUCK
Biomass: a metric fuckton
Peanut Weasel: Chaos Spawn Badger-Monkey
Health: good
Hunger: full
Mood: Yay! Daddy's just like me!
Biomass: quite a lot
Enemies
20 Cyberbadgers
Health: ?
Hunger: n/a
Mood: ?
Biomass: none
Poll
4 (100%)
Author
Topic: You Are a Honey Badger: On Hiatus Due to Time Constraints - Back Soon! I hope... (Read 25678 times)