Ask if they accept Grist. Then get my eyes fixed, no matter what they say. Hijack a machine or something if they say no.
"Well, will you accept Grist?"
(6)
The clerk pulls out a pistol and points it directly at you. "Do you know how valuable your Grist is? It could kickstart our nonexistent economy! Hand em over!"
"MY EYES"
(4vs4)
Greyman runs forth with grat haste and grabs the gun despite being blind! But the clerk grabs the gun too! They'll have to grapple for it!
Greyman is grappling with the buxom young clerk! Not in that way, you perverts.Crash 3 different planetoids made of various materials into the molten iron one.
(4)(2)(1)
With the power of the ancients coursing through what passes for veins in it's convoluted body, Irving reaches out and hurls three planetoids into the molten iron mixture! They are a ball of ice, which once it impacts melts and sizzles away to form an atmosphere of steam hanging above the now-solid planet. The second thing appears to be an enormous hair follicle, which doesn't really do anything except bounce off to no real effect. Irving chooses badly on the third one, however; he picks a planetoid enitrely composed of acid! It begins to eat through the husk of the iron sphere, giving it the appearance of a half-eaten apple.
The Molten Iron Sphere has been resolidified! It now has an Atmosphere of Steam. It has a batch of Acid dissolving it (2 turns till gone)."Big me... why do you have to do that? Now I'm gonna have to absorb you too!"
Launch nearby planet to big me to temporarily disperse him. Ram into him while his dispersed to absorb him!
Focusing all his formidable might, SUPERBLAST THE SENTIENT NUCLEAR EXPLOSION attempts to shift a planetoid into his bigger self at such a veloctiy that he may be shattered!
(2)
He farts a little.
(1)
His bigger self, meanwhile, seems to have lost control of himself and is repeatedly punching itself in the face!
FAILTALITY.Hold my ground! Attempt to grow mouth large enough to consume the giant planetoid made out of a certain citrus fruit! Do so!
With a massive stretching of bone, the crazed monkey stetches it's jaws far enough that it can encircle the lime planetoid!
(4)
The bones in its jaw break from the stress of being extended 20,000 miles. Sure the jaw's there, but there's no bones in it.
Borno the Lime Addict Chimpanzee now has Planet-sized Jaws with no Bones!Regrow lungs
Feeling suffocation coming on, and not willing to die so easily, the gallant Sam Blake invokes the dark magic of Umbaanga to regrow his breathing apparati!
(2)
But try as he might, he simply didn't study hard enough in Organ Growing class, instead preferring to make out with Sammy Jarvis in the third row. Damn her and her peanut-butter flavored eyebrows!
Sam Blake has one turn left before deathination.Character Name: Oculus
Character Description:looks identical to that three legged eyestalk critter from small soldiers, but bigger.
First Action: Randonly fire laser beams at stuff
And out of the black, a new creature appears! It is a three legged ... thing, about 6 feet tall. Yep. It has an eyestalk and stuff. Yep.
Angered at the state of it's undefinedness, it fires laser beams at the closes nearby entity in a Randon pattern!
(3)
The laser beams impact a globe of rock penetrated by a tree with branches growing in haphazard directions hovering by a planetoid of iron!
(3)
They singe it a little.
Oculus opens fire on Irving! The bark is mildly singed!Call upon a torrential rain of fire shaped fire.
The grin on the wizard's face grows so wide it extends beyond the boundaries of normal faces. He's about to attempt the best spell EVER. Not earthquakes, not lighning, but fire. And not only fire, but fire ... shaped like fire! DOUBLE FIRE ACTIVATE!
(5)
With a crack and a roar, metafire roars out of the ether and down upon the area around the wizard, scorching the earth immesurably for 50 meters in every direction! The plants seem very wary now.
(1)
However, no plan is without danger, and this one reveals itself as a glob of flame lands directly on top of Derm! Oh no!
(3)
While some of the fire is deflected by his hat and FANTABULOUS EYEBROWS, a lot of it gets on him! At least the plants are dead.
Derm is now !!DERM!! Roll to take fire damage until put out.Call upon a torrential rain of fire shaped fire.
As opposed to what? Square fire? Water-shaped fire?
-----
Imbue the dragonlet with the ability to reproduce asexually. Watch as it does so. Add a renewable source of food if it needs it. Watch as small errors in reproduction, ie mutations, cause evolution!
((There was the possibility for Derm-shaped fire, potato-shaped fire, and backwards-shaped fire.))
The dragon hangs in silence above the world, a titan of immense length and immesurable patience. Once in an eon does this great beast stir itself to affect the planet, and it is doing so now.
(4)
A glowing ball of radiation emerges from the cavernous jaw of the beast and descends into the planet below. It swiftly finds and merges with the now-adult Gravel Wyrm. As it is fused with the ball, the dragon is seized with a temendous hunger, and swiftly begins fattening up on gravel! After it has gained sufficent mass, it cracks in half, each half forming a new dragonlet!
(3)
But as the years pass, the dragons only replicate slowly, and don't evolve, good or bad.
There are now 20 Flimsy Gravel Dragons!eh, fuck it
MAGIC MISSILE OUT OF HERE
An expression that can only be described as 'eh, fuck this' comes across the head, and something begins to happen!
(6)
WITH A SUDDEN BLINDING GLOW, IT TURNS INTO PURE ENERGY! IT TAKES OFF INTO THE ETHER, FOR PARTS UNKNOWN!
(3)
The cancer, meanwhile, grows a finger.
Slowpoke is now MAGIC MISSILE! It can go anywhere it pleases for 1 turn!
The Cancer Thing has a finger."Perfect, now for some paint." Search for some Red and White Paint.
Perfectly content with his metal visage, NotDestro goes looking for some paint!
(6)(3)
He finds a deep red planet seemingly made out of paint in the cosmos. It looks toxic. It has a yellowish white moon orbiting it.
CC has found the Lead Paint Red Planet and the Shabby White Paint Moon!scapheap: Sam Bark, disfigured head with a skeleton attached. Suffocating (1 turn). On Obsidian Planet.
Superblast: Nuclear explosion. By the remains of two planetoids. In a fight with bigger him.
Harry Baldman: Irving the Primal Tree. By the Corroding Iron Planet. Singed a bit.
anailater: Dog head with a paw. Composed of antimatter.
Persus13: Captain Canada. Is not Destro. By Paint Planets. Has a metal face.
GWG: Golden dragon of Great Wyrm status. By Schoolyard Gravel Planet.
dermonster: Is Derm. On Planet of Supernatural, Carnovorous, Pointy and Otherwise Dangerous Plants. On fire (roll for damage) Scorched earth all around.
Greenstarfanatic: Grey guy from Homestuck, probably. By Hospital Planet. Is blind. Grappling with clerk.
LordSlowpoke: MAGIC MISSILE
Furtuka: Whatever that guy in his avatar is. By Pointy Diamond Planet. Horribly impaled on Pointy Diamond Planet. Box is destroyed.
Borno: Lime addicted chimp. Has planet-sized jaws with no bones. By Lime Planet (1 turn till impact)
Unholypariah: Oculus the eyeball thing on three legs. By Irving. FIRING DA LAZORS
Obsidian
Iron (has Steam Atmosphere, being corroded (2 turns))
Schoolyard Gravel
SCPODP
Wax
Volcano
Spiky Diamond
Lime
Medival Hospital In Space
Hospital
Toxic Red Paint
Shabby White Paint
Wet Carpet + Dog Hair = BOOM
Ice+Molten Iron=Steam, Solid Iron
Acid+Iron=Corrosion
Even More Super Nuclear Blast - near Superblast. In Mortal Kombat. Is failing.
Gravel Dragon x20. Near GWG. Rather flimsy.
Cancer Thing. Near Volcano Planet. Has finger.
Buxom Young Clerk. Wrestling with Grey Guy in a sanitary manner.
Hah! Bet you all thought I forgot or gave up, did you? Nope! I'm just lazy. x3
Tell me if I missed anything.