Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: 1 ... 144 145 [146] 147 148 ... 163

Author Topic: Reudh's Hilarious Australasian politics thread!  (Read 226461 times)

Reudh

  • Bay Watcher
  • Perge scelus mihi diem perficias.
    • View Profile
Re: Reudh's Hilarious Australasian politics thread!
« Reply #2175 on: March 16, 2018, 10:15:07 pm »

Oh yeah, because you're in the Batman electorate. I'll run you through the existing candidates.

Yvonne Gentle - Rise Up Australia party: Danny Nalliah's ultraconservative, ultrafundamentalist Christian party that wants to halt all immigration, ban building of religious buildings that aren't Christian, etc. Nalliah is notable because he claims to have raised the dead.

Ged Kearney
- Labor Party: Fairly standard Labor politician. Started working life as a nurse before becoming a union official, has been president of the ACTU since 2010. She replaces the retiring Martin Ferguson.

Alex Bhathal
- Greens Party: Lives in the electorate. Worked in social welfare for the last 25 years or so. She's been big on helping people in the northern suburbs of Melbourne for a long time. She has unsuccessfully contested the Batman seat many times, in 2001, 2004, 2010, 2013, and 2016. Seems like a good person, but she's been unsuccessful as a politician thus far.

Kevin Bailey - Australian Conservatives: Melbourne businessman, philanthropist, former SASR soldier, diplomat, is a Member of the Order of Australia. He's written "Your Money" columns for the Herald Sun for the last ten years. Part of the Australian Conservatives, so that should explain a lot. Presumably former hard-right factional Liberal supporter, but jumped ship around the time Bernardi did.

Tegan Burns - Australian People's Party: The only candidate for this party, who has a very rudimentary website with her face splashed across it several times. Her policies include "Free education, aged care and dental care", "Lower HouseholdGas and Eletricity Bills by 50%", "Scrap All Road Tolls", "Legalise Cannabis, e-Cigarettes and Vaping". This is quoted verbatim. It doesn't seem to explain how she'd go about enacting her policies, not to mention that much of her policies would be a federal issue, rather than a not-even-state byelection.

Debbie Robinson
- Australian Liberty Alliance: The ALA is much like the Rise Up Australia party, in that they're aggressively anti-Islam, and ultraconservative. There isn't much more to tell.

Teresa van Lieshout
- Independent: Resident of Perth. Originally a member of the Palmer United Party, within a fortnight they had disendorsed her. She's one of Australia's most recent perennial candidates; she's run many, many times in many different elections, and almost universally come last.
Quote from: wikipedia perennial candidates
Teresa van Lieshout, a resident of Perth, has unsuccessfully contested seven state and federal elections standing for various constituencies in Western Australia. She has stood for the Parliament of Western Australia as a One Nation candidate at the 2005 election, and as an independent at the 2006 Victoria Park by-election, 2013 state election, and 2014 Vasse by-election. For Federal Parliament, she ran as an independent at the 2004 election and 2014 special senate election, and as a Protectionist candidate at the 2013 election.[1] In August 2015, she announced she would be contesting an eighth election, the 2015 Canning by-election.[2]
She is notoriously crazy, and has had a warrant issued for her arrest following a no-show at the Perth Magistrates Court on charges of breaching bail, theft, and wilful unlawful damage. It's also worth mentioning that Teresa doesn't even live in the state and she's attempting to contest the Batman by-election. This is her "party website". It explains all you need to know about her. Her facebook periodically reposts stuff by the Citizen's Electoral Council, a political movement based on the US activist Lyndon La Rouche. CEC have been described as "fascist", "lunar right". They campaign against "Fascism", though this usually amounts to campaigning against Howard-era policies. They're fucking mental, and managed to barely limp across the line into registration, with 549 members. The CEC have run in almost every election in Australia over the last two decades, and never receive more than 1.5-2% of the vote.

Adrian Whitehead - Unregistered "Save the Planet" party: Doesn't appear to have many policies besides creating the Great Otway National Park to preserve the Otway Ranges rainforest. He's also keen on addressing global warming, but I don't know how he'd manage to do that from a by-election level campaign. His party is unregistered. He's a former Greens convenor.

Mark McDonald - Sustainable Australia party: IT Engineer, lives in Preston. "Passionate about affordable housing, sustainable environment and population, energy security and sensible public asset ownership". On the one hand, this does sound somewhat reasonable, but in my experience, Sustainable Australia party members tend to be less about the affordable housing/environment/energy security and more about the "STOP THE BOATS".

Miranda Joyce Smith - Animal Justice Party: "ten years senior management experience in the healthcare industry". Active in animal rights protests, AJP candidate for Richmond in 2014, and for Melbourne in 2016 Federal election. As far as I understand, besides animal welfare, the AJP doesn't really have many policies. I did note that they want to reduce "home grown natural birth rates" to zero, while "also maintaining a compassionate approach to refugees and migrants." That's an interesting stance to take.


Last election, in 2016, Alex Bhathal came ahead for the Greens before preferencing, with 32,645 votes, or 36.2% of the vote, followed by Labor's David Feeney (the one who recently stepped down) with 31,780 votes (35.3%).

After preferencing, Labor came out ahead with 51% of the vote.

smjjames

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Reudh's Hilarious Australasian politics thread!
« Reply #2176 on: March 16, 2018, 10:36:57 pm »

What's a batman electorate?

"home grown natural birth rates" to zero What exactly is natural birth rate? Kind of implies the existence of an unnatural birth rate. At least that's what I thought.
Logged

Jimmy

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Reudh's Hilarious Australasian politics thread!
« Reply #2177 on: March 16, 2018, 10:56:59 pm »

Electorate of Batman: Named after John Batman 1801–39, the early settler and explorer, known as the 'Founder of Melbourne'. Sadly no known relation to the Dark Knight.
Logged

Yoink

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Reudh's Hilarious Australasian politics thread!
« Reply #2178 on: March 16, 2018, 11:17:31 pm »

I did note that they want to reduce "home grown natural birth rates" to zero, while "also maintaining a compassionate approach to refugees and migrants." That's an interesting stance to take.
I think you may have made that sound just a tad more horrifying than it does on their website, haha...
Quote from: https://animaljusticeparty.org/policieslist/humans/population
The AJP believes that our policies will enable Australia to reduce it’s impact on wildlife and the rest of the natural environment while maintaining a compassionate approach to both migrants and refugees while keeping the home-grown component of our population growth at or below zero.

Key Objectives

To keep the national birth rate at or below replacement levels.
To educate on the negative impacts of exponential population growth, and the positive outcomes of a stable population.
To expand needs based and family re-union immigration in conjunction with the success of our other policies in limiting human impact on the natural world.
To ensure that any population increase happens within existing urban boundaries; urban sprawl must cease.
To invest in research into urban planning that will improve sense of community and quality of life whilst also living harmoniously with wildlife and nature.

I'm glad they clarified on the "needs based/re-union" part, though it's still a bit odd that they would go to all that trouble to limit population growth and then not freeze immigration. Also, that rogue apostrophe up there ("It is impact"? It is impact what!?) is a rather large mark against them, but they are still the most tolerable party by far. Heck, half of the other parties seem to have websites that were kludged together by near-illiterates, to say nothing of the ghastly design choices on display in most of them.   


Regardless, thanks for all the info, Reudh! I think I'll go get this voting BS out of the way, then come home and amuse myself by browsing Mrs Lie-'n'-Shout's official party website now that I know such a thing exists. :))


Electorate of Batman: Named after John Batman 1801–39, the early settler and explorer, known as the 'Founder of Melbourne'. Sadly no known relation to the Dark Knight.
It's definitely a cover. He just chose a more low-key secret identity than the Bruce Wayne of the comics, whilst at the same time going for the "hiding in plain sight" approach by having it right there in his surname, so that no-one would take any allegations of costumed vigilante heroism seriously. I imagine the different pronunciation leading to a Young Frankenstein-esque scene or two.
Logged
Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

smjjames

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Reudh's Hilarious Australasian politics thread!
« Reply #2179 on: March 16, 2018, 11:42:29 pm »

Lieshout sounded like the translation of some dwarves name to me.
Logged

wierd

  • Bay Watcher
  • I like to eat small children.
    • View Profile
Re: Reudh's Hilarious Australasian politics thread!
« Reply #2180 on: March 16, 2018, 11:44:41 pm »

Lieshout sounds like a perfectly apt surname for a politician to me... Then again, I do live in the US, where bold faced lieing often goes hand in hand with red-faced shouting, so there's always that to consider.
Logged

Reudh

  • Bay Watcher
  • Perge scelus mihi diem perficias.
    • View Profile
Re: Reudh's Hilarious Australasian politics thread!
« Reply #2181 on: March 17, 2018, 02:54:29 am »

No worries, man. I was scanning through the AJP policies and the wording of that particular policy seems like it could be incredibly easily twisted by conservative parties against the AJP, who do seem like a relatively reasonable party.

martinuzz

  • Bay Watcher
  • High dwarf
    • View Profile
Re: Reudh's Hilarious Australasian politics thread!
« Reply #2182 on: March 17, 2018, 04:50:02 am »

Lieshout (pronounce: lease-haught, literal translation: 'elisabethwood') is a small town about 15 minutes driving south of my city. It a nice place, situated in the middle of the Lieshoutse Bossen (Lieshout woods). Worth a visit if you like strolling through nature. This lady probably just has dutch roots.
« Last Edit: March 17, 2018, 04:55:04 am by martinuzz »
Logged
Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Reudh

  • Bay Watcher
  • Perge scelus mihi diem perficias.
    • View Profile
Re: Reudh's Hilarious Australasian politics thread!
« Reply #2183 on: March 17, 2018, 07:27:23 am »

Lieshout (pronounce: lease-haught, literal translation: 'elisabethwood') is a small town about 15 minutes driving south of my city. It a nice place, situated in the middle of the Lieshoutse Bossen (Lieshout woods). Worth a visit if you like strolling through nature. This lady probably just has dutch roots.

There are a considerable number of Australians with Dutch ancestry, myself among them.

scriver

  • Bay Watcher
  • City streets ain't got much pity
    • View Profile
Re: Reudh's Hilarious Australasian politics thread!
« Reply #2184 on: March 17, 2018, 09:05:05 am »

Van Lieshout is just a another example of Australian politicians simply having the best names ever.
Logged
Love, scriver~

martinuzz

  • Bay Watcher
  • High dwarf
    • View Profile
Re: Reudh's Hilarious Australasian politics thread!
« Reply #2185 on: March 17, 2018, 09:39:43 am »

Still doesn't beat our two consecutive prime ministers that we had a 2-3 decades ago.
First we had prime minister Lubbers, and then we had prime minister Kok (pronounce: cock)
Logged
Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479

Yoink

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Reudh's Hilarious Australasian politics thread!
« Reply #2186 on: March 22, 2018, 04:16:36 am »

Well, at least the Greens didn't win.
Logged
Booze is Life for Yoink

To deprive him of Drink is to steal divinity from God.
you need to reconsider your life
If there's any cause worth dying for, it's memes.

Reudh

  • Bay Watcher
  • Perge scelus mihi diem perficias.
    • View Profile
Re: Reudh's Hilarious Australasian politics thread!
« Reply #2187 on: March 22, 2018, 06:54:00 am »

Well, at least the Greens didn't win.

Barely, and only because they were preferenced against by nearly every other party.

Jimmy

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Reudh's Hilarious Australasian politics thread!
« Reply #2188 on: March 22, 2018, 07:33:56 pm »

Hooray for Democracy, the idea that the common folk know what they want and should be given it good and hard.
Logged

martinuzz

  • Bay Watcher
  • High dwarf
    • View Profile
Re: Reudh's Hilarious Australasian politics thread!
« Reply #2189 on: May 01, 2018, 01:55:19 am »

The treasurer, most important advisor of the Pope, and third most important cardinal of the Vatican, the Australian cardinal George Pell, has been summoned to court to stand trial for child abuse.
A court in Melbourne confirmed today that there will be a court case.

The 76 year old cardinal has been accused of multiple counts of child abuse, many years ago.
The court in Melbourne heard the charges of four victims, which were subsequently questioned harshly by the cardinal's defense lawyer.
Robert Richter, the cardinal's lawyer, pleaded that the victims aren't credible.
Judge Belinda Wallingtone would have none of that, and saw enough grounds to make a court case.

Pell and his lawyer do not wish to comment, and send journalists to the Bisphory of Sydney, the last employer of Pell in Australia. The Bisphory refuses to comment as well.
A date for the court case has not been set yet.

Inb4 the Pope recalls Pell to the Vatican to dodge the court case.

It's about time we roll up and ban the cathoilic church for being an organized criminal pedophile ring.
« Last Edit: May 01, 2018, 04:26:37 am by martinuzz »
Logged
Friendly and polite reminder for optimists: Hope is a finite resource

We can ­disagree and still love each other, ­unless your disagreement is rooted in my oppression and denial of my humanity and right to exist - James Baldwin

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=73719.msg1830479#msg1830479
Pages: 1 ... 144 145 [146] 147 148 ... 163