Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: 1 ... 95 96 [97] 98 99 ... 163

Author Topic: Reudh's Hilarious Australasian politics thread!  (Read 227972 times)

RedKing

  • Bay Watcher
  • hoo hoo motherfucker
    • View Profile
Re: Reudh's Hilarious Australasian politics thread!
« Reply #1440 on: April 25, 2014, 10:05:57 am »

Semi-sarcastic. There actually have been isolated Pearl Harbor Day sales before.  ???

And actually, a quick Google search tells me somebody already beat me to it. >_<


EDIT: And about the same time as that real ad, the Onion came up with this one. Which is ZOMG so wrong and yet, so darkly amusing.


But anyways, I'll stop invading the Australasia thread with American stuff now.
« Last Edit: April 25, 2014, 10:14:49 am by RedKing »
Logged

Remember, knowledge is power. The power to make other people feel stupid.
Quote from: Neil DeGrasse Tyson
Science is like an inoculation against charlatans who would have you believe whatever it is they tell you.

Jimmy

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Reudh's Hilarious Australasian politics thread!
« Reply #1441 on: May 02, 2014, 08:19:46 pm »

Hmmm, Commission of Audit has come out with the goody-bag of savings measures.

List from Sydney Morning Herald:

Health

If you're rich you don't get to access public health care, you have to pay for private health care as well as funding the public system too. Also nobody gets free access to health care anymore, there's a copay for every service, even emergency room visits if they are judged to be non-urgent. You'll also pay more for drugs, and they'll scrap the laws that say pharmacies have to be owned by a pharmacist so Coles and Woolworths can buy out the small business market there too.

Education

Those greedy students living large on the government benefits should pay 14% more for their University education out of pocket, because investing public funds into this is just a waste of money. Also why set a limit on the cost Universities can charge, since it's obvious rich students can pay more for their education and poor ones shouldn't be trying to get a University degree in the first place. Of course we should scrap paying for vocational education for the poor too. We should also charge more interest on University debts after students graduate, since that's a good system in the USA, and make sure the crushing debt kicks in as soon as they start earning the minimum wage. Oh, and don't forget to scrap funding for schools and make the individual states pay for it themselves. But we will separate the funding into three different pools so those greedy state schools can't spend all the money that should be going to fund private schools instead.

Aged Pension & Aged Care

Old people are costing too much money and living too long. If we can't recycle them into Soylent Green, let's just keep raising the bar on the pension rate and hope they die sooner from working longer. Also it's not fair these old people saved their money and bought property with it, so let's add that into the tax pool too and give them the choice to sell their house and pay rent that the pension can't cover, or live in their own house and not have any pension money to pay for food. Also it's obvious that it only takes one person to look after an old person, so only one person should get carer payments, and none at all if they have money already.

Unemployment and the Minimum Wage

Having a standard national minimum wage is undemocratic! Let each State decide it for themselves. That way, if a State wants to drive poor people out, they can lower theirs below everyone else and get rid of those bludgers. Speaking of making the poor somebody else's problem, if you can't get work you'll be moved somewhere else or cut off the dole. That's gonna work great out in the Northern Territory where large Aboriginal communities have the highest unemployment rates in the state.

Family Payments

The Family Tax Benefit Part B supports the cost of raising children compared to remaining childless, but since children are a drain on public resources let's scrap that and hope people stop having them.

Welfare and Disability

It's annoying that those old people who don't die fast enough end up disabled instead. Since we already moved the bar on the pension, let's do it for disability support too. We can slow down national disability support, make sure they have to sell their homes before they get a dollar of it, and then sell off the whole payment system to a private company so we can deny responsibility when we stop paying them.

Defence

Let's just roll over and admit America owns our military, it's not like we'll need it anyway.

Paid Parental Leave and Childcare

So that big election promise of paid parental leave we made to get into government? Screw that. Too expensive. Plus it's not fair unemployed people should get funding to put kids into childcare, since, you know, all employers love when a single mum applying for a job tells them she can't start work until she can get her kids into daycare, but she can't get them into daycare until she starts work, but she can't start work until she gets them into daycare, but...

Foreign Aid

Screw everyone else.

Public Broadcasting

Screw the ABC too.

Transport and Infrastructure

Charge heavy vehicles more for using the roads. Because it totally won't pass on the cost into increased cost of goods transported, which means increased cost of goods sold, which means increased cost of living, which means increased inflation, which means increased income bracket creep. Also forget to fund infrastructure development because future planning for growth is a dumb idea.

Indigenous Affairs

Did I forget the Aboriginals? It's understandable, we try our best to keep them out of sight. We should take 150 separate programs that work with them and condense them into no more than seven, since everyone knows that all aboriginals are alike.

Government Agencies

Take a bunch of names off doors and put new names on them, spend some money changing the stationary, and end up with pretty much exactly the same people working for the same amount of money.

Privatisations

Sell off any program that a private company might want to buy, which are pretty much anything making an actual net profit for the government instead of being a money pit.

But wait...

Why don't we see any strategies here, AT ALL, that target medium or large business tax deductions? I mean, there was an article just this month about Google Australia suddenly paying an extra $7 million in tax. Surely if the government is looking to reduce the debt burden it would make sense to also include the corporate citizens of Australia in the shared responsibility we have to pay back our debt?
Logged

Sheb

  • Bay Watcher
  • You Are An Avatar
    • View Profile
Re: Reudh's Hilarious Australasian politics thread!
« Reply #1442 on: May 03, 2014, 02:57:38 am »

Some of those changes might make sense (like merging the Aborigene programs: having less of them make it easier for them to get all the benefits they're entitled to for a start).
Logged

Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

sneakey pete

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Reudh's Hilarious Australasian politics thread!
« Reply #1443 on: May 03, 2014, 03:20:27 am »

I noticed in an article yesterday that along with privatizing stuff like Australia post, the snowy hydro scheme, there was talk of doing it to the Mint, centerlink (the organization that manages payments to people on government assistance) and the operations of the tax department.

So um, yeah....
Police and fire departments after that?
« Last Edit: May 03, 2014, 03:23:27 am by sneakey pete »
Logged
Magma is overrated.

alexandertnt

  • Bay Watcher
  • (map 'list (lambda (post) (+ post awesome)) posts)
    • View Profile
Re: Reudh's Hilarious Australasian politics thread!
« Reply #1444 on: May 03, 2014, 06:48:45 am »

Pfft, firefighters. Greedy bastarts, the lot of them.
Logged
This is when I imagine the hilarity which may happen if certain things are glichy. Such as targeting your own body parts to eat.

You eat your own head
YOU HAVE BEEN STRUCK DOWN!

Jimmy

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Reudh's Hilarious Australasian politics thread!
« Reply #1445 on: May 13, 2014, 07:08:41 am »

Budget time!

So with the budget released with most of the information already known, it's handy to sum it all up in a cute little infograph. Personally I like the Choice magazine version.



So yeah, screw over the little people and squeeze them for all they're worth!

Oh, but the good news is that if you're in big business you don't need to worry. Business tax rates are being cut by 1.5% because, you know, they're not expected to help pay off this supposed deficit.
Logged

10ebbor10

  • Bay Watcher
  • DON'T PANIC
    • View Profile
Re: Reudh's Hilarious Australasian politics thread!
« Reply #1446 on: May 15, 2014, 08:39:19 am »

I'm not sure I understand the infographic.

Are the crosses things that didn't get realized, or things that are negative?
Logged

DJ

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Reudh's Hilarious Australasian politics thread!
« Reply #1447 on: May 15, 2014, 09:02:50 am »

Pfft, firefighters. Greedy bastarts, the lot of them.
They're just a drain on the budget, they should be axed completely. It's not like Australia needs firefighters all that often.
Logged
Urist, President has immigrated to your fortress!
Urist, President mandates the Dwarven Bill of Rights.

Cue magma.
Ah, the Magma Carta...

Sheb

  • Bay Watcher
  • You Are An Avatar
    • View Profile
Re: Reudh's Hilarious Australasian politics thread!
« Reply #1448 on: May 15, 2014, 09:58:18 am »

As far as I can tell, crosses are stuff that save the government money, check cost the government money.
Logged

Quote from: Paul-Henry Spaak
Europe consists only of small countries, some of which know it and some of which don’t yet.

Descan

  • Bay Watcher
  • [HEADING INTENSIFIES]
    • View Profile
Re: Reudh's Hilarious Australasian politics thread!
« Reply #1449 on: May 15, 2014, 11:31:47 am »

Or something like "Crosses are the government offloading things onto the public, checks are the government actually funding things"

Depends on your politics :P
Logged
Quote from: SalmonGod
Your innocent viking escapades for canadian social justice and immortality make my flagellum wiggle, too.
Quote from: Myroc
Descan confirmed for antichrist.
Quote from: LeoLeonardoIII
I wonder if any of us don't love Descan.

Pnx

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Reudh's Hilarious Australasian politics thread!
« Reply #1450 on: May 15, 2014, 03:14:53 pm »

I think it's supposed to be stuff that's going to effect you negatively if you're in that demographic, and stuff that's going to effect you positively in that demographic.
Logged

Osmosis Jones

  • Bay Watcher
  • Now with 100% more rotation!
    • View Profile
Re: Reudh's Hilarious Australasian politics thread!
« Reply #1452 on: May 24, 2014, 04:33:07 am »

So just dropping in to remind you all that THIS is our prime minister.
Well, I suppose it could be worse. He could be Silvio Berlusconi mixed with him.

Has anyone ever actually seen them in the same room together?
Logged
The Marx generator will produce Engels-waves which should allow the inherently unstable isotope of Leninium to undergo a rapid Stalinisation in mere trockoseconds.

Reudh

  • Bay Watcher
  • Perge scelus mihi diem perficias.
    • View Profile
Re: Reudh's Hilarious Australasian politics thread!
« Reply #1453 on: May 24, 2014, 04:41:59 am »

Holy fuckballs.

Australian public a 'bunch of whingers' - George Christensen.

An MP urged us all to go live like 'impoverished asians' to see how well we have it. FFS.

Funding from non-secular school chaplains is being removed. Only religious chaplains will remain, even those from anti LGBT groups like ACCESS Ministries and Your Dream Incorporated.

As if LGBT kids aren't already bullied enough, it's looking like school chaplains are gonna tell them off - historically, the chaplains were the last bastion a bullied student could go to.

MetalSlimeHunt

  • Bay Watcher
  • Gerrymander Commander
    • View Profile
Re: Reudh's Hilarious Australasian politics thread!
« Reply #1454 on: May 24, 2014, 04:53:09 am »

You have school chaplains? Oh, y'all are screwed. That's how they get the young.
Logged
Quote from: Thomas Paine
To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason, and whose philosophy consists in holding humanity in contempt, is like administering medicine to the dead, or endeavoring to convert an atheist by scripture.
Quote
No Gods, No Masters.
Pages: 1 ... 95 96 [97] 98 99 ... 163