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Author Topic: Why are dwarves invading with the goblins?  (Read 3075 times)

laxori666

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Why are dwarves invading with the goblins?
« on: March 16, 2013, 01:24:51 pm »

I've had two or three ambushes now where, along with a set of goblins, there's been a Marksdwarf or Hammerdwarf or Pikedwarf with them, seeming to be leading the charge... what gives?!
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Owlbread

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Re: Why are dwarves invading with the goblins?
« Reply #1 on: March 16, 2013, 01:37:41 pm »

They were taken from other fortresses as babies and raised as Goblins. Purge the dishonour and misery of their existence from their souls with earth blood. Magma will purify all.
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Re: Why are dwarves invading with the goblins?
« Reply #2 on: March 16, 2013, 06:42:01 pm »

Or one of the Gobbos is a necro and they are reanimating your dead dwarves.
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rawrcakes

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Re: Why are dwarves invading with the goblins?
« Reply #3 on: March 16, 2013, 07:18:20 pm »

Real dwarves have long since realised that the other races prove no challenge. The REAL test would lie in invading a dwarven fortress. This is why enterprising dwarven mothers "accidentally" have their children kidnapped by goblins - thanks to the everpresent goblins around them, the dwarven children have an unending supply of training dummies to hone their martial skill. As the dwarfling grows, so, too, does his command of his now-subdued goblin civilization. At the ripe age of twelve, the dwarf child leads his goblin thralls in attack of a dwarf fortress, using the semi-elven scum as movable cover while he closes in on the kill.
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Ianflow

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Re: Why are dwarves invading with the goblins?
« Reply #4 on: March 16, 2013, 09:23:41 pm »

Real dwarves have long since realised that the other races prove no challenge. The REAL test would lie in invading a dwarven fortress. This is why enterprising dwarven mothers "accidentally" have their children kidnapped by goblins - thanks to the everpresent goblins around them, the dwarven children have an unending supply of training dummies to hone their martial skill. As the dwarfling grows, so, too, does his command of his now-subdued goblin civilization. At the ripe age of twelve, the dwarf child leads his goblin thralls in attack of a dwarf fortress, using the semi-elven scum as movable cover while he closes in on the kill.

Dwarven Mothers who want to challenge their fort, leave their young in front of goblin settlements that specialize in whip based militia, as while the dwarves still cannot figure out how to make a whip, they know a better challenge is not a dwarf leading goblins, but a dwarf wielding a whip, leading whip armed goblins

Sadistic Dwarven Mothers leave their young at the Elven Settlements. It can either cause chaos, a war where the Elves beg the mother to take back their baby (Urist McHelen, the baby that launched a thousand unicorn riders), or, practice for the new dwarven militia recruits.
Training practice in this instance, is where the militia uses an accurate anatomy'd opponent with laughably weak armor, to train for piercing armor.
It also provides entertainment, as the elf raised dwarf is astonished by how his armor, a tree grown into the shape of his armor, and the tree being the holiest form of life, does not use its divine powers to prevent the weapons from stabbing him.

EDIT: Sorry, I just read that over. I realized I'm killing the joke.
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And thus, "The running of the goblins" became an annual tradition and the first dwarven contraceptive.
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CaptainLambcake

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Re: Why are dwarves invading with the goblins?
« Reply #5 on: March 16, 2013, 09:36:55 pm »

capture them in cage traps.  they may not be of the same mindset, but they are your kin.
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thrush_titan

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Re: Why are dwarves invading with the goblins?
« Reply #6 on: March 16, 2013, 10:48:14 pm »

The neat thing about them is that non-goblins in goblin squads are always historical figures so you can look up their history in legends viewer after you jam their skull etc.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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laxori666

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Re: Why are dwarves invading with the goblins?
« Reply #7 on: March 18, 2013, 08:55:42 am »

capture them in cage traps.  they may not be of the same mindset, but they are your kin.

I'm pretty sure that he either got mutilated by one of the 10 weapons in the First Weapon Trap in my First Corridor of Pain and Misery, or had his body parts bashed in by one of the 9 dwarfs in The Lonely Wheels...
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Loud Whispers

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Re: Why are dwarves invading with the goblins?
« Reply #8 on: March 19, 2013, 09:11:47 am »

capture them in cage traps.  they may not be of the same mindset, but they are your kin.

I'm pretty sure that he either got mutilated by one of the 10 weapons in the First Weapon Trap in my First Corridor of Pain and Misery, or had his body parts bashed in by one of the 9 dwarfs in The Lonely Wheels...

At least they died in a Dwarf Fortress.

Gaybarowner

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Re: Why are dwarves invading with the goblins?
« Reply #9 on: March 19, 2013, 09:37:54 am »

Reminds me is it possible for a kidnapped baby dwarf in your fortress to come back to your fortress as a soldier invading you after a long period of time?.. I need to test this out now
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krenshala

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Re: Why are dwarves invading with the goblins?
« Reply #10 on: March 19, 2013, 08:31:26 pm »

Reminds me is it possible for a kidnapped baby dwarf in your fortress to come back to your fortress as a soldier invading you after a long period of time?.. I need to test this out now
I'm not one hundred percent sure, but I'm pretty certain that you can indeed receive your own snatched dwarves as invaders once enough time has passed. I know you can receive former liaisons as migrants, so I see no reason why you can't receive snatched children back.  As far as I know they will always be hostile, however.
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Zepave Dawnhogs the Butterfly of Vales the Marsh Titan ... was taken out by a single novice axedwarf and his pet war kitten. Long Live Domas Etasastesh Adilloram, slayer of the snow butterfly!
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Lida_Brainbroken

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Re: Why are dwarves invading with the goblins?
« Reply #11 on: March 19, 2013, 08:57:32 pm »

Reminds me is it possible for a kidnapped baby dwarf in your fortress to come back to your fortress as a soldier invading you after a long period of time?.. I need to test this out now
I'm not one hundred percent sure, but I'm pretty certain that you can indeed receive your own snatched dwarves as invaders once enough time has passed. I know you can receive former liaisons as migrants, so I see no reason why you can't receive snatched children back.  As far as I know they will always be hostile, however.

Highly doubtful, as all the being-kidnapped-raised-by-goblin-joined-militia-when-grown happens in world gen, not real time.  Speak to a child in Adventure mode and he'll say "Hi, 7 years old!", play 20 years in Fortress mode, abandon, speak to child in Adventure mode. "I'm 27 years old!"
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chevil

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Re: Why are dwarves invading with the goblins?
« Reply #12 on: March 20, 2013, 06:22:38 am »

Reminds me is it possible for a kidnapped baby dwarf in your fortress to come back to your fortress as a soldier invading you after a long period of time?.. I need to test this out now
Probably in the next version.
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i2amroy

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Re: Why are dwarves invading with the goblins?
« Reply #13 on: March 20, 2013, 06:31:41 pm »

Reminds me is it possible for a kidnapped baby dwarf in your fortress to come back to your fortress as a soldier invading you after a long period of time?.. I need to test this out now
Probably in the next version.
This right here. I'm fairly certain it can't happen now, but the next version should allow it just fine.
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Gaybarowner

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Re: Why are dwarves invading with the goblins?
« Reply #14 on: March 21, 2013, 07:35:20 am »

Reminds me is it possible for a kidnapped baby dwarf in your fortress to come back to your fortress as a soldier invading you after a long period of time?.. I need to test this out now
Probably in the next version.
This right here. I'm fairly certain it can't happen now, but the next version should allow it just fine.
Would be a nice stand off a father battling his son whose mind was corrupted by goblins
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