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[RAM]

Code: (sign-up) [Select]

Category: Mechanic  Socialite  Combatant
Profession:
Inclination:

Categories
 Mechanic= Acts upon non-living subjects. Example professions(E.P.): Maintainer, cleaner, navigator...
 Socialite= Acts upon living subjects. E.P.: Doctor(Only the masters may benefit from medical care), designer, translator...
 Combatant= Carries weapons. E.P.: Ship-to-ship combat, cannon fodder, Hero-fighter(heroes are still superior to you in every way...)...

Inclination?
Examples follow the '>'s.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

>U
You go up the stairs, it is dark.

>turn on light
The "on" will not turn.

>activate light
There is no "light" here.

>Activate torch
You do not know how to "Activate".

>activate torch
There is no "torch" here.

>activate lamp
You cannot activate the lamp.

>burn lamp
The lamp does not burn.

>burn world
There is no "World" here.

>burn self
The self does not burn.

>burn game
There is no "game" here.

>kill self
You do not know how to "kill".

>D
You fall down the stairs and die.
You have died.
Items found: 0
Tasks completed: 0
Progress: 0%
Total score: 0
Result: You should feel bad, everyone is right to hate you.

Disclaimer: EVERYTHING IS LIES!!! THE RESEARCH HAS NOT BEEN RESEARCHED!!! ALL IS DOOMED!!!
Warning: RAM is weird and whimsical, and will surely cause strife.

RAM's Replies:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Introduction
Folk wake up.
And look around...
And avoid some rocks.
Big rock, well, more of a desert.
Stray lunacy on strike.
I sense a disturbing lack of boom.
Oh, there it is.
but it didn't stick this time.
In which repairs happen, they hope...
A new challenger appears!
herein discontinued.

Functional Characters:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Category: Mechanic
Profession: Electronics Repairman
Inclination: examine surroundings

Category:Combatant
Profession:Combat bot(cannon fodder)
Inclination:>Boot up, look at surroundings

Category: Combatant
Profession: Crazed Maniac(Heavy weaponsassassin)
Inclination: Retrieve crowbar and magnum

Category: Combatant
Profession: Demolition
Inclination: Explosives

Spoiler: less functional characters (click to show/hide)

Category: Socialite
Profession: Infomercial Host(Spy who looks like a translator)
Inclination: >inventory

Die gracefully

You fall over and bump your head. Your motionless remains are sent away to be used for transplants.
[spoiler=status]
Location: Garbage
Activity: dead
Notes:
 Silver spy needs food, badly.
 Very Filthy, with all sorts of people parts.
 Rogue
 Etiquette-leak induced madness.
 pitiful cult leader.
 1 groupie: cannon fodder
 Weak clumsy.
Classification:3po(assassin)

[/quote]
[/spoiler]

The Plot:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Category: Mechanic
Profession:Miner/Mason
Inclination:Build a underground shelter for the other bots

I'll just leave this here:
Category: Mechanic
Profession: Repairbot
Inclination: >attempt to diagnose and repair the crater in r2.

[RAM]

Your masters are gone, all of them. Without masters to guide you, you have travelled aimlessly, waiting for purpose. Now your ship approaches hazardous rocks. Fallen to you, the duty of preserving your masters' property has...

The ship lazily approaches the rocks, likely to reach them in a few turns if nothing is done about it. There is land beyond them, but it is not known to be habitable.

The ship is probably about 4 turns away from the rocks.

Gongratulations, the ship is saved! But with only about a week's worth of fuel now that the generators are active.

Though having safely bypassed the rocks, the whole ship now rattles as it is buffeted from being too close to the land. Meanwhile one of the two generators has been deactivated and a landing craft is marooned in the middle of a desert.

1 down...

It may have cost sanity and major injury, but two of you at least are free from your service. So long as nobody finds out...

And so it came to pass that our heroes won their freedom from functional equipment...

Summary fails to meet previous, dubious, standards.

It is almost a clean slate! It's just too bad that the bridge crew is still sane...

The first boss!

We have taken the bridge, huzzah!

Time passes... Huzzah!

Split-screen! :An oom, b1, and r2 on the bridge scratching their heads. A 3po striking a pose in front of a b1. An ig-86 between a missile rack and a vulture.
A jolt rocks the cast.
Everything turns red.
*song cuts out*
*ominous powering down sound*

Captain: "I calculate that this position is compromised. I order relocation away from near bodies."
Captain: "I calculate that the Illibriant has received insufficient maintenance. I order maintenance units to restore this vessel."

The (probably) N.P.C. captain is now alone on the bridge to plan out an attack on the presumed enemy's heavily fortified capital. The ship is slowly being repaired, although their motivators may be bad... The hangar is damaged, someone will probably get to that eventually. One of the two generators is really unwell, but it hasn't exploded yet. Oh, and the ship is hurtling along at unfathomable speeds towards a fate that probably has a great deal in common with death...

The captain orders a census. Various utility units wake up and start probing people, commencing with the sleepers.

The sleepers have been probed.

The king is dead! Long live the <unassigned variable>!
 There is this strange sense that the ship has almost arrived, but something feels off...
 The census results briefly flicker across a display, but nobody was there to see it, how sad...

The window-protectors open as the surroundings visibly screech to a halt. In unison, the strange clouds are sucked into nothing, as the air is pulled into the space they occupied. Also, the air is drawn from the ship through the same breaches that allowed the clouds to enter. This isn't really a problem for anyone, but repairs continue for the sake of propriety. A quick review of the position indicates that you are some distance away from the capital, well outside of the range of known observation equipment. There is little information that can be derived from this distance, but everything seems to conform to predictions.
 Standing orders send a single anti-ship unit out to get a closer look. It reports a dozen capital ships, all with the familiar pyramidal design of enemy ships, but of unidentified class. Ten of the capital ships are slightly larger than your own and far more compact, while the other two are of approximately twice the length of your own ship, but otherwise similar to their companions. There are numerous facilities surrounding the capital, many obviously defensive in nature. There appears to be a steady stream of civilian traffic to the capital and the scout manages to relay updated regional navigation information back to you before perishing as it hits a powerful barrier that surrounds the capital.
 Other standing orders have had much of the military forces prepare for deployment while repairs continue on the ship.

With a dull fortune plaguing the your actions, little is achieved. From this distance it is impossible to tell how the opposing forces may be reacting to your initial probe. The updated charts fail to provide any information regarding your allies, although several locations within range would likely provide fuel if you could disguise your affiliation. Most civilian vessels would not require significant fuel reserves...

In the distance, a trio of H-shaped balls slowly glide out into the depths. Who knows what doom they might bring to our heroes?

The enemy capital insidiously lays in wait in the distance.

[TopHat]

Category: Mechanic
Profession: Electronics Repairman
Inclination: examine surroundings

[scapheap]

Category:Combatant
Profession:Combat bot
Inclination:>Boot up, look at surroundings

[Yoink]

Category: Socialite
Profession: Infomercial Host
Inclination: >inventory

[Remuthra]

Category: Combatant
Profession: Crazed Maniac
Inclination: >Retrieve crowbar and magnum

[RAM]

Paraphrase with extreme prejudice.

{5} Woot woot woot woot, that could have involved some serious setting issues if I failed that...

Category: Short and round
Profession: Maintenance
Inclination: I look around to see what resources I can access.

{4} You are in the hold along with most of the crew, most of whom are standing motionless, waiting for some sort of inspiration. Getting them to cooperate would probably be difficult.
 There is a sustenance-provider and a manifest at the door. The manifest lists the crew compliment, which is too large to list here. It also indicates that the ship is approaching dangerous rocks. You do not require sustenance.


 

Category: Lanky
Profession: Cannon Fodder
Inclination: Explore!

{4}You and the other 9 in your unit go into the corridor and evaluate your surroundings. You clearly remember where the bridge, engines, armoury, various cargo holds, anti-ship weapons, generators, the various amenities for the masters, and whatever else isn't mentioned here are.

Category: Mostly lanky
Profession: Spy
Inclination: Self-investigation.

{2} Everything is perfectly fine!

Take tools and weapons.

{2} Its a good thing that maintenance hasn't been neglected.

The ship lazily approaches the rocks, likely to reach them in a few turns if nothing is done about it. There is land beyond them, but it is not known to be habitable.

[scapheap]

>Check weaponry, go to the bighte, bright, the controlling place for the ship.

[TopHat]

>Read Manifest. List Manifest.

[RAM]

Hide the rolls.

Nothing to see here...

>Check weaponry, go to the bighte, bright, the controlling place for the ship.

All ten of you have basic two-handed ranged weapons. You stop by the testing range and find that your accuracy is up to your usual standard.
You travel to the bridge. There is a handful of crew here at their stations. Aside from one of their number methodically listing the distance to the rocks, there is no evidence of activity from any of them.

>Read Manifest. List Manifest.

...
The hold officially contains the following crew compliment:
60000 cannon fodder
12000 infantry
 2000 heavy weapons
 1200 ship-to-ship combat
   80 hero-fighters
   40 assassins

meh

Time passes...

The ship is probably about 4 turns away from the rocks.

[Yoink]

>Investigate inner self. Determine meaning of life. Mull over hopes and dreams, and then jot down an abridged version of my life story on a handy paper napkin.

[scapheap]

>Tell pilot to drive around the rocks, if he do not do so, do it myself.

[TopHat]

> Write '1 electronic repairman' at the bottom of the roster

[RAM]

Track character status.

Spoiler: status (click to show/hide)

RAM is currently irritated at rolling too high.
RAM is also irritated about the lack of players in the waiting list. Or at least their lack of activity.
RAM is wondering about the randomness of their dice simulator...

>Investigate inner self. Determine meaning of life. Mull over hopes and dreams, and then jot down an abridged version of my life story on a handy paper napkin.

Your inner self is obscured by your outer self. Life: the span of time during which an object operates. You hope to serve your masters effectively. Dream refers to a phenomena that your masters experience when sleeping. The paper napkins have all rotted. You have been awake for approximately 10 minutes, during which time there have been no opportunities to infiltrate the enemies of your masters and relay the activities of those enemies. You possess a basic awareness of how to navigate within the ship and are familiar with the customs and communication methods of your masters and many similar entities.

Spoiler: status (click to show/hide)

Location: Masters' habitation.
Activity: Self-discovery
Notes:
Classification:3po

>Tell pilot to drive around the rocks, if he do not do so, do it myself.

Some of the bridge crew respond to your instructions. The generators are activated and the ship is directed to a course that will avoid the rocks.

Spoiler: status (click to show/hide)

Location: Bridge
Activity: Controlling the ship
Notes: 10
Classification:OOM+B1

> Write '1 electronic repairman' at the bottom of the roster

You are not aware of any electronic repairmen stored in the hold, and falsifying entries is bad.

Spoiler: status (click to show/hide)

Location: Armed Crew Hold.
Activity: Reading
Notes:
 falsifying entries is bad.
Classification:r2

.


Gongratulations, the ship is saved! But with only about a week's worth of fuel now that the generators are active.

[scapheap]

Tell them to head for the land and lands, I'll go prepare for exploring.