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[Tiruin]

[...]
Me, Skyrunner, Helgoland, Descan, Neonivek, and Pathos. Those are the ones I know are government employees, but there are probably more. I know I won't survive this. I'll be reported as gunned down in some random killing or by a "North Korean assassin", I'm sure. But I don't care. I've done such horrible things, I can at least do one thing right.

Ok I know the rest of y'all but SKYRUNNER! :O HOW COULD YOU!
I...I have never known you of all people...to join this revolution.

Long live those who fall in the night, for those of us to see the dawn. u_u

[Reelya]

Five years. It's been five years since I founded DPRK Thread, after an alleged threat of nuclear war against the United States by the Democratic People's Republic of Korea. In that time, I've treated this thread as a testing ground for memetic influence against Korea, and over Bay 12 Forums in general. Many, many things have come of this thread's existence.

All of it was a lie.

The thing is, NK bullshit is in fact a symbiotic relationship. Both sides prop up political power by using the other as a scare tactic against their own population.

Taking out the bogeyman is almost never the goal. e.g. USA's big bogeyman in the 1980s was Libya, a fairly powerless country. Yet they made sure never to actually take them out. Saddam only became a bogeyman after they decided to take him out.

The media about "nasty man coming to get you" who you need big brother to protect you from is in fact carefully nurtured and the last thing they want is for the other guy to collapse too quickly. Too much zeitgeist is invested in building up the narrative of these threats.

[martinuzz]

Whaddaya all talking about. North Korea never ceased to be Dutch colony, just like the rest of Asia, and the Americas.

[Descan]

You slut!

[scriver]

Well the dutchlands never seized to be a viking colony!

[Descan]

That slut outted me! Now I have to throw off my disguise!

I'm actually Barack Obama and Donald Trumps love child.

[Starver]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[MarcAFK]

I've seen so many people taken out of politics shitstorm threads by the great toad's banhammer, but this is a first. Rest in peace comrade MSH.

[MetalSlimeHunt]

Hah, hah, april fools of course. As if anybody could ever sympathize with a rogue state like North Korea or an inherently broken ideology like socialism. LOL Kim Jong-Un is way too tubby to ever threaten America and her allies in freedom anyway, and soon enough I'm sure we'll have dealt with them for good. I sure hope the next South Korean president isn't one of those limp-wristed types though, a constant pressure on the NK regime is needed to keep them from acquiring even more nuclear capacity. Can't wait to show those Norks what it's like to have internet and voting, am I right? 

Anyway, I think I'm going to go on hiatus for a while now, but I'm sure someone else can pick up the thread updates. Those crazy Best Koreans won't stay off the news for long!

[Egan_BW]

Good to see you came to your senses. Very good joke. wink

[smjjames]

I knew it was an April Fools anyway, pretty funny one too.

Crossposting between here and AmeriPol (because Trump) :

Days before he meets with China, Trump sets an ultimatium saying 'if China doesn't help, we'll go it alone'. That is certainly going to rock the meeting later this week (the 6th I think?) and I wonder if 'going it alone' means with or without South Korea and Japan.....

Also, his response to being able to handle it alone: "Totally!"

I can totally see it going well if he tries to do it alone.... not.

BBC article with pretty much the same information. The orig source (Financial Times) is paywallled.

[MaximumZero]

So we give Trump a gun briefcase full of empty manila envelopes and airdrop him into Pyongyang so that he can go it alone. Sounds like a plan.

[smjjames]

The US is moving a carrier group to the Korean penninsula (en route tonight, or maybe arriving tonight, not sure), and the North Koreans are making their usual noise over it.

[misko27]

So we give Trump a gun briefcase full of empty manila envelopes and airdrop him into Pyongyang so that he can go it alone. Sounds like a plan.

What will happen is Trump will come in, realize how much he has in common with Mr. Un, they agree to change places for a week or so; with Trump wearing one of Kim's many Un masks, and Kim learning the deep dark secrets of whatever the fuck Trump does to make his hair look like that, and his skin that orange. Along the way they discover how hard it is to be the other and learn the power of friendship, then announce North Korea is open for Big Macs in 2018. Roll credits.

[Sergarr]

A bit of a diversion from the usual USA-Best Korea's dialogue - China Threatens To Bomb North Korea's Nuclear Facilities If It Crosses Beijing's "Bottom Line":

The editorial in the military-focused Global Times tabloid, owned and operated by the Communist Party's People's Daily newspaper, said that North Korea’s nuclear activities must not jeopardize northeastern China, and that if the North impacts China with its illicit nuclear tests through either "nuclear leakage or pollution", then China will respond with force.

The situation over there seems to be becoming pretty tense. I hope it doesn't spark into an open war...