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[MrWillsauce]

Well, I think wooden spears are going to be fairly useless against guns.

I think guns are going to be fairly useless against the indomitable North Korean spirit!

[Loud Whispers]

Well, I think wooden spears are going to be fairly useless against guns.

Implying gun > UNIKOREAN

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[MaximumZero]

Him being an elf would explain his immortality. I always knew something was fishy about those North Korean dictators, but elves! The situation is more dire than anyone could have anticipated.

Time for the orbital magma cannon.

[Redzephyr01]

Kim Il-Sung shows up leading the North Korean unicorn cavalry

Sigged

[Sheb]

So North Korea notified the South they're going to strike without notice?

[MetalSlimeHunt]

So North Korea notified the South they're going to strike without notice?

Through the force of Glorious Paradox, Benevolent Leader Kim Jong-Un shall retroactively annihilate the southern rebels and their Imperialist Tyrant Masters.

[10ebbor10]

Ooo. I'm surprised they even still use fax machines.. but I guess that's why SK has that 'special communication line' [old terrible communication lines NK can't update] we hear so much about. Probably right next to a rotary phone.

Actually, they do use rotary phones .

[misko27]

It appears the cause for Uncle Jang's execution was rooted in business disputes, and a firefight between North Korean forces and Jang loyalists. Is New York times, so beware paywall

Business Insider article on the same.

Now I'm off to sig a few things.

[tahujdt]

Him being an elf would explain his immortality. I always knew something was fishy about those North Korean dictators, but elves! The situation is more dire than anyone could have anticipated.

"South Korea, you know we love your debauched pursuit for wealth, your black market phones are just wonderful, but you know? We'd like you to join the rest of civilized best Korea in protecting the trees, so how about we let you only murder 3 trees this year? No?
A SEA OF FIRE ON YOU
FUKEN CAPITALIST PIG DISGUSTING"
The North Koreans have brought the full force of their lands against you.
*Kim Il-Sung shows up leading the North Korean unicorn cavalry*

Sound more like the elves from 8-bit Theater.

[Just Some Guy]

Wait, there was a rebellion against Lil Kim? And the rebels did pretty well against him?

Get out the popcorn. IT HAS BEGUN!

[Loud Whispers]

Execution by AA firing squad.

Execution by AA firing squad.

[USEC_OFFICER]

Execution by AA firing squad.

Execution by AA firing squad.

Wait, what? This sounds horribly awesome. What's happening?

[Urist Imiknorris]

Or were they firing AA batteries?

[MetalSlimeHunt]

AA as in anti-armour, or anti-air?

And so it was that Supreme Leader Kim-Jong Un did sacrifice his private jet, the only working plane in all the Motherland, to properly and justly execute the traitor scum.

[Rose]

They used anti-aircraft guns, as far as I know.