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[Vector]

Hey, folks.  Here's the deal.

I'm going through a spell of depression right now that doesn't seem to be caused by anything in particular.  I'm just sad, numb, lack motivation, etc.  I've been depressed enough times to know that this isn't something that therapy will help, and I'm also not so depressed that I can't plan for when I'll be happy again--so I'm making sure I don't do any of the things that usually cause depresion loop-de-loops.  I've been taking care of myself, I hang out with friends, I take my vitamins and generally eat well, I keep clean, and I know I exercise less than I should but I'm really working hard to muster the gumption for that one.

I guess this is my question: what do you guys do when you need to just wait?  What do you tell people so that they don't worry or get upset at you when you don't have the energy to contact them in person?

This can be a general support thread if you want; I just don't want to put it in the sad thread because it seems really stupid to go "bleh, I'm so lacking in motivation that I can barely make myself do stuff like get my purse ready" day after day after day.

[Tellemurius]

well you can tell them you aren't up for leaving the house. You can try inviting people over to hangout than say at school. For me since i know im not ready for most things is just sleep and listen or play music.

[LordBucket]

I guess this is my question: what do you guys do when you need to just wait?

I wait. Time does not always need to be filled with something. It's perfectly ok to do nothing.

Try it sometime. Just sit down, and do nothing. Don't worry about the future. Don't dwell on the present. Don't hide in the past. Just sit there.

What do you tell people so that they don't worry or get upset
at you when you don't have the energy to contact them in person?

I don't. If people want to be in contact, they can contact me. It's not like I'm depriving anyone of me if I don't go out of my way to stay in touch.

[Il Palazzo]

Hey Vector.

I'm just gonna post here to watch.

[Mullet Master]

I guess this is my question: what do you guys do when you need to just wait?  What do you tell people so that they don't worry or get upset at you when you don't have the energy to contact them in person?

Most people are not well equipped to deal with depressed people, so I've always felt like it is better to just not be in contact. If someone calls with genuine concern, the number one easiest to use excuse is blame a lack of contact on a busy time with work or school. If you have neither right now, steer the conversation back to one of those ("I've been exhausted by my current job search")

As far as them getting upset - I wouldn't worry about that. Sometimes it is better they are upset that they haven't got to talk to you rather than them being upset from talking to you.

I've lost a lot of friends over the years by trying to use my friends to help me out of my depression, and I won't anymore. 

[Mondo Gnarly]

Suffering with "depression" myself, the best advice/explanation for depression is that it is a depressing of emotion. The cure for it is expression. I got this from a guy named Elliot Hulse on the youtube. The most important thing I find for myself is to "keep moving". Go for a walk, or talk...even to yourself out loud. Just do SOMETHING. It forces me to live in the present moment rather than the past, where depression comes from.(Anxiousness is concern or fear of the future).
That's my experience anyway.

[alway]

I guess this is my question: what do you guys do when you need to just wait? 

Usually some ambient music and Ghost in the Shell music (particular Living Inside the Shell). Then webcomics. Lots and lots of webcomics. Or some deep contemplation about how to write a simulation for some complex phenomena whose method of simulation I don't have the slightest clue about.

[Vector]

Let me be perfectly clear about this:

I'm not trying to get my friends to help me out of my depression, because I know perfectly well that this is just... I don't see any cause for it.  There's no negative cognitive loop happening, there's no sadness and desperation or living in the past, whatever.  It's just that I'm disinterested in pretty much everything and don't feel any real happiness.  Little things feel absolutely impossible.  I almost didn't go to some volunteer work today because I would have had to print something out and walk for ten minutes, and that felt insurmountable.  But if I hadn't gone I knew I'd feel like a failure and end up just spending the two hours crying, so I went.  Little steps.

So I sent a friend I'd owed a phone call for a week a short email, saying that I just couldn't summon the energy to call her and talk to her right now, I hadn't forgotten about her, and that when I was feeling better I'd give her a call.  That worked well--she thanked me for the effort.

It's that sort of situation.


Thank you for the replies so far.

[Tellemurius]

 i meant instead of having your friends dig you out of your house they can join you in the mellow.

[Vector]

Naw, I understand.  Thank you, that's great advice.

[Truean]

If I had the words to say, I would say them.

[Vector]

Thank you.  It's okay.  My grandfather had this saying: "Who promised you a rose garden?"  I'll get through this.

[Aqizzar]

What I tell 'them' when I need to just wait...

Basically, I tell each group of people that I know (when they ask) that I was / am / will be busy with a different group of people they will never be in contact with.  Thus, everyone thinks I'm doing something active, when I'm really not.

I wouldn't say it's healthy, but it does at least keep me from looking completely shiftless when I don't feel like doing anything but veg out for days on end.

[freeformschooler]

Basically, I tell each group of people that I know (when they ask) that I was / am / will be busy with a different group of people they will never be in contact with.  Thus, everyone thinks I'm doing something active, when I'm really not.

This guy knows what's up. Even for non-depressed people, going through phases where you have to just collapse is totally normal. Introverts in particular are afflicted by this (needing to recharge after long periods of social involvement).

Basically, though, saying you're busy is really all you need to keep most people out of your face.

[Pnx]

Oh man, this stuff is stuff I'm pretty damn familiar with.

Trying to work up motivation and/or energy has been something I've been struggling with for the past few years, it's a situation that's gotten quite a lot better recently, but there's still so much stuff that I really want to do, but struggle hard in finding the motivation to do. I don't know, it's still a struggle to get myself up in the morning, though it is a lot better.

Other people can help a lot, not just because they make me feel obligated to do things, but just because having other people to do stuff for can be a pretty big motivator for me. I'm not really the self-indulgent type most of the time, I only very reluctantly lift a finger to do something for myself, but for people I care about I will often go to very great lengths to do things for.

Finding little things I really want to do is also useful (though often that's easier said than done), unfortunately apart from that a lot of it seems to basically be about putting one foot in front of the other.

Though I suppose if you feel that this is all just transitory it's sort of a different situation, I'm generally an advocate of trying to do something about a bad situation even if it's not necessarily very easy to do anything about it.