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[Urist McScoopbeard]

I don't know what to do, I feel depressed all the time, not suicidal (and I hope it doesn't turn in to that) but just 'my life sucks' depressed, I am not even that sad just very empty inside (sometimes painfully so) and regretful, which contributes most of my sadness. Im 16 and I feel like already I've lived my life all wrong, that I've ruined everything; I feel boring, like I can't have fun, I can hardly talk to girls in a meaningful way, my grades are about B average (probably not awful for alot of you out there, but my parents can sometimes make me feel shitty about it, not that they try to) I dont even FEEL ALIVE, my life is like a dream where I have the occasional moment of lucidity. I guess I feel this way because I believe I hate myself, I'm just not who I wanted to be, even the good stuff in my life: losing weight, playing guitar, singing isn't enough to counterbalance it.

Sorry if that's a bit much, but I just don't know what to do, all I know is I'm tired of feeling this way
If someone could just point me in the right direction I'd be very grateful.

[Vector]

Ah, yes.  I've had that problem.

I recommend trying new things just for the sake of trying new things--things that are slightly uncomfortable or scary to do are best.  I also recommend trying to cultivate your inner fantasy life, and ... well, just pick small things you want to change about yourself, and start working on them.  Keep records.  Give yourself pats on the back when you improve slightly.  So, the goal shouldn't be "lose 500 pounds," but maybe it's something like "get a better haircut" or "keep my room slightly tidier."  Little pieces of progress, the smallest increment that seems feasible.  And focus on that, and keep going.  Seriously, it works.  Just go for it.

And, specifically, for the talking to girls problem: first throw the girlfriend idea out of your head and learn to be friends with girls like you're friends with guys.  You know: "Hey, Roberta, what's up?  What'd you do this weekend?"  Not necessarily "hey bro," but if you need to start that way, then start that way.  Then watch what other guys do, and figure out what you like, what you don't like, how you want to talk to women.  But seriously--friends first.  Forget the friendzone bull, having friends of various genders pays dividends you wouldn't believe.

You sound awesome, bro.  I can't sing or play guitar, and I dearly wish I could.  So just keep going.  You've got what it takes.

[Xantalos]

What the smart person said.

[Naryar]

Do not regret nor fear anything.

[LordBucket]

I'm just not who I wanted to be

Who do you want to be?

This is not a rhetorical question. Imagine for a moment that you can be anyone you want to be. You can have and do anything you want.

What do you want?

[Urist McScoopbeard]

Well one, thanks everyone.

Two, to answer your question Bucket: If I could be anyone and have anything I'd like to be a singer (my voice isn't particularly good) and own a house in a snowy mountain range (internet accessible of course, I could not live without bay12!) I don't want much else.

[Meph]

How about going on a journey? Half a year, a year, travelling, getting to know yourself?

[Zrk2]

I do this too. It might help if you started recording and organizing all your thoughts on the matter. Once you have everything written down it should be easier to deal with. I should probably do that.

[Urist McScoopbeard]

Well thanks, but as for journeying I am in school and my parents would not undetstand, speaking of whom I must escape them at some point here. I'll see what happens though.

@Zrk2, ya maybe I should start writing my thoughts on this stuff down, maybe everyday, I will try this

[LordBucket]

If I could be anyone and have anything

I'd like to be a singer

and own a house in a snowy mountain range

Ok. So...why don't you do those things?

[Urist McScoopbeard]

I... Don't know. Well, I guess I could start taking voice lessons... For the past few days Ive been talking to my musically-inclined friends and have tried to have a generally better attitude, I must say it's turning into the best week i've had in a long time, maybe ever if it stays like this.



Many doubts still linger, I feel like a man on top of a trap-door with a lion underneath it trying to escape, which is terrifying, but It feels better than having your head in the lion's jaws.


... As for why I don't own a house in the mountains, it's because im a 16-yr old middle class, suburban boy whose parents think that anything more northerly Than florida is disgusting.

[Vector]

Yeah, start taking voice lessons, probably a little theater too.  Now is a great time

[Xantalos]

As Saxton Hale would say, punch the lion out, use its skin as a cloak, and go conquer the world!
I mean this metaphorically, of course.

[LordBucket]

I guess I could start taking voice lessons... For the past few days Ive been talking to my musically-inclined friends and have tried to have a generally better attitude, I must say it's turning into the best week i've had in a long time, maybe ever if it stays like this.

Excellent.

Also, voice lessons are very good yes, but I also advise singing regularly. Your voice is much like a muscle. It benefits from regular use. Sing in the shower, or along with the radio, if you have to. But sing daily.

And take singing lessons.

... As for why I don't own a house in the mountains, it's because im a 16-yr old middle class, suburban boy whose parents think that anything more northerly Than florida is disgusting.

Sure. But you won't be living with your parents forever. Eventually you'll have your own place, be it an apartment shared with friends in the suburbs, or a mansion in Orange County, or a castle in the woods. Whatever it is, eventually you will be living somewhere. And if you're going to live somewhere it may as well be somewhere you like, right? Just because you're in Florida now doesn't mean you need to be in Florida tomorrow, or the next day, or next year. People do live in the mountains.

You may as well be one of those people.

[Urist McScoopbeard]

Thanks, I do sing daily, alot actually, and I certainly intend to move away from my current residence (connecticut) when I graduate college (or hopefully before them)

Singing is something I really only discovered very recently, I think it will take some time before i achieve any sort of proficiency, and I plan to start taking lessons this summer (maybe I can arrange something over april break) so ya, life is feeling pretty good today.