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Author Topic: Nimarnish, Legendary Yak Wrestler  (Read 2311 times)

mr_nomad

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Nimarnish, Legendary Yak Wrestler
« on: February 23, 2013, 06:36:38 pm »

Deep my dwarves delved, carving out the vast underground city of Goldenhall. Little mind did they pay to the surface world until one day an announcement echoed through the fortress. Stalkob Whisperedboils the Fierce Shove had arrived, a great female minotaur with a thirst for dwarf blood and shining gold. Both, she had heard, were to be found in great abundance at Goldenhall.

The dwarves of Goldenhall had been focused on their delving and designing and none now were there who could wield axe or crossbow. The dwarves cowered behind their traps fearfully awaiting the monster's coming. And come she did, swiftly making for the entrance. She could smell the fear of the dwarves and to her nose it was as a fine wine. First though, she would have a bit of fun with them. With several swift swipes she slaughtered their guard dogs, then took to chasing the livestock about the open fields until there remained a lone yak cow, Nimarnish. Stalkob gave chase, relishing the thrill of the hunt as the desperate yak fled from it's inevitable demise. Several times she caught the yak, and each time she inflicted a wound to one of its legs before releasing it to limp away in terror. And so her cruel play continued.

Finally though the yak was cornered and the minotaur, growing tired of her sport, moved in for the kill. Yet it was in that moment that something changed. There burned now in Nimarnish's eyes a fire, the red ember of desperation blazed to life and the yak took the fight to the minotaur. First one of Stalkob's arms was broken, then the other. In the end she begged for death as the enraged cow crushed her body in its wrath. Finally there stood only one, a lone yak staring down upon the broken corpse of its attacker.

And that children, is how my dreams for a minotaur labyrinth under my fortress were crushed while at the same time new dreams of a shrine built to my dwarves newfound diety were birthed. Soon all dwarves shall bow to the yak god of might and unbreakable will, those that fail to bend the knee shall be thrown to the lava, an offering to Nimarnish and a warning to all non-believers.

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Mr Space Cat

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Re: Nimarnish, Legendary Yak Wrestler
« Reply #1 on: February 23, 2013, 06:51:48 pm »

Now you know why dwarves fear the hooves.
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Loud Whispers

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Re: Nimarnish, Legendary Yak Wrestler
« Reply #2 on: February 23, 2013, 07:26:56 pm »

All of Dwarf Fortress has been leading up to this moment. The day a Yak became a God, and the mountains rose to strike the earth.

maddwarf

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Re: Nimarnish, Legendary Yak Wrestler
« Reply #3 on: February 23, 2013, 07:44:33 pm »

Verily, thine bovine is a beast of legend! Were it that a great hall of feasting could be forged in honour of the gallant tales of heroism borne by legendary livestock such as these, and should it come to pass that my own (recently departed) battle rooster of war was also to find a place therein - his flames of vengeance having been kindled after witnessing the otherwise unchecked wholesale slaughter of dwarvenkind by a rampaging Marsh Titan, and his beak having justly pecked the fell creature to a perforative demise - then such a day would be greeted by the cheers and hearty toasting of many!
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mr_nomad

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Re: Nimarnish, Legendary Yak Wrestler
« Reply #4 on: February 23, 2013, 07:59:43 pm »

Verily, thine bovine is a beast of legend! Were it that a great hall of feasting could be forged in honour of the gallant tales of heroism borne by legendary livestock such as these, and should it come to pass that my own (recently departed) battle rooster of war was also to find a place therein - his flames of vengeance having been kindled after witnessing the otherwise unchecked wholesale slaughter of dwarvenkind by a rampaging Marsh Titan, and his beak having justly pecked the fell creature to a perforative demise - then such a day would be greeted by the cheers and hearty toasting of many!

Quite so. At this very moment I have walled off a huge pasture for Nimarnish to graze comfortably in while I prepare her shrine. It shall be a glorious place where all dwarves might gaze upon her radiant glory and know they are in the safe hooves of Nimarnish.
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Spy227X

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Re: Nimarnish, Legendary Yak Wrestler
« Reply #5 on: February 23, 2013, 08:13:10 pm »

Rumors are that Nimarnish is the cow that Armok made in the last universe but did not destroy...
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Is this freshwater or saltwater? Because alternatively you could breed a large amount of crocodiles and unleash them into the waters... indirect genocide.

Urist McLaptop

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Re: Nimarnish, Legendary Yak Wrestler
« Reply #6 on: February 23, 2013, 08:20:16 pm »

Armok? NOT DESTROY!?
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Legend tells of a fort besieged by a dragon. When 79 brave recruits fell to its breath, the last dwarf of the fort took up arms. He sprung from his sickbed and claimed an adamant one sword before he bulrushes the dragon. A clean swipe severs the head. But the dragon claws him in the lower body and burns him alive. As he melts into a pile of booze and fat, I rename him Ronnie James Dio and change his profession to dragonslayer. He will forever be immortalized and worshipped as a dragonslayer God.

TheFlame52

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Re: Nimarnish, Legendary Yak Wrestler
« Reply #7 on: February 23, 2013, 08:20:53 pm »

See if you can get a statue of her killing the minotaur.  :)

Hydrall

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Re: Nimarnish, Legendary Yak Wrestler
« Reply #8 on: February 23, 2013, 08:39:23 pm »

So, wait, is the Yak actually a legendary wrestler? That would be terrifying.
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After seven days and seven nights, God said "Screw this!" and abandoned the fortress.

Uristmcfisherdwarf cancels fish: Interrupted by harmless minnow

Loud Whispers

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Re: Nimarnish, Legendary Yak Wrestler
« Reply #9 on: February 23, 2013, 09:59:46 pm »

Armok? NOT DESTROY!?
Unmaking and destroying are two very different things. The difference between burning something down and making it not ever having existed is profound.

weenog

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Re: Nimarnish, Legendary Yak Wrestler
« Reply #10 on: February 24, 2013, 01:56:18 pm »

So is your shrine going to be an awesome indoor statue garden or dining room or the like, with muddied stone and a cave fungus carpet for the deity to be present and graze?
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Listen up: making a thing a ‼thing‼ doesn't make it more awesome or extreme.  It simply indicates the thing is on fire.  Get it right or look like a silly poser.

It's useful to keep a ‼torch‼ handy.

mr_nomad

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Re: Nimarnish, Legendary Yak Wrestler
« Reply #11 on: February 24, 2013, 04:14:24 pm »

So is your shrine going to be an awesome indoor statue garden or dining room or the like, with muddied stone and a cave fungus carpet for the deity to be present and graze?

I was thinking either that or a massive aboveground pillar with a pasture and a sacrificial pit for tossing goblins (and dwarf unbelievers) into.
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Tomcost

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Re: Nimarnish, Legendary Yak Wrestler
« Reply #12 on: February 24, 2013, 04:45:12 pm »

Get a necromancer so when the deity dies of old age (if it EVER happens in DF), you can revive it.

ALL SHALL TREMBLE UPPON THE YAK FALLEN GOD OF WRESTLING!

PD: feed elves to it and it will become even more awesome!

Ediy: grammar

laularukyrumo

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Re: Nimarnish, Legendary Yak Wrestler
« Reply #13 on: February 24, 2013, 04:47:33 pm »

It's too bad veterinary care doesn't exist yet in DF. Those broken legs make me weep.

Also, I suggest combining the ideas. Pillar in the center of the pasture, a la human pre-gen adventure mode fortress, for sacrifice and honor.
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Quote from: Dwarfotaur
Everytime one of my militia has given birth in the Danger Room, it's lead to instant baby smoothies for everyone.

Gotta Catch 'Em All!

Dat Sig Thread

Loud Whispers

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Re: Nimarnish, Legendary Yak Wrestler
« Reply #14 on: February 24, 2013, 04:49:15 pm »

It's too bad veterinary care doesn't exist yet in DF. Those broken legs make me weep.
Yellow denotes bruising. More serious things like fractures would appear in red. The Yak moves.
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