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Author Topic: The Fall of Zocolral: a story of woeful tragedy  (Read 1561 times)

maddwarf

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The Fall of Zocolral: a story of woeful tragedy
« on: February 23, 2013, 11:42:27 am »

My first (proper) fortress has fallen.

A fine garrison it was, which had weathered many a mishap. Marsh Titans were waved aside by the ferocity of stray dogs and the vicious pecking of highly-trained attack chickens. "The Mighty Vanguards", sole defenders of the fort, in their infinite military wisdom had courageously sacrificed many a warrior to the goblin armies, each sallying forth one at a time to gain the maximum share of honour in death.

Rich supplies of dwarven booze lined its storage rooms, with lavish stocks of microcline and siltstone as high as the eye could see. Truly, 'twas the envy of traders the continent over, with its ponderous piles of plump helmets and generously populated coffin chamber.

Yes, and what refuse piles it could boast! What haphazardly perfect pastures, chewed upon by yak and chicken alike! What glorious further treasures would it surely have uncovered, had it lasted for just a while longer, but woe... woe to the fortress of Zocolral!

For there came quite suddenly, and without warning, a vile force of evil! Not one, not ten, not fifty, but over one hundred goblin warriors, baying for dwarven blood and treasure! At once and without thinking, I bellowed out the order to retreat. "Every dwarf and beast inside the fort!"

The diminutive creatures hurried at once, dropping their fishing rods and breaking off the hunt. Faster and faster they ran, as behind them amassed a sea of glistening steel and bloodthirsty eyes... closer and closer yet to the drawbridge they drew, and poised was I to give the command to pull the glorious lever which would seal off the hoard from the outside world, its occupants safe and protected until their oppugners realised their efforts were all in vain!

Almost in the same moment, I did. A cry was heard ringing around the halls of Zocolral; "Pull the lever! Lower the drawbridge!"

I waited.

I waited further, as the goblin horde drew nearer.

I waited with increasingly concerned impatience, as the task appeared to occupy not one of the blithe dwarves' minds.

"Hurry!", I exclaimed, as the first goblins breached the walls! "The enemy is here!", I cried, as their initial forces fell to the meagre array of traps and cages which awaited them! Yes... and suddenly, finally, one of the dwarves came to his senses! He would pull the lever - and posthaste, or so it seemed!

It seemed, that is, until he changed his mind and abandoned the task altogether. Indeed, both he and his many companions.

Defeat was surely inevitable. I could but weep as waves upon waves of craven bandits swarmed the encampment with furious abandon, and though the Mighty Vanguards fought honourably and to the very last man, the cause was surely lost.

The fortress of Zocolral had fallen.

(Thanks to some people on IRC, though, for telling me how to make burrows to deal with the Marsh Titan!)
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Spy227X

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Re: The Fall of Zocolral: a story of woeful tragedy
« Reply #1 on: February 23, 2013, 12:21:32 pm »

I tried to make a dragon fortress
Couldnt mine (no hands)
Everything burned
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Is this freshwater or saltwater? Because alternatively you could breed a large amount of crocodiles and unleash them into the waters... indirect genocide.

Scorch

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Re: The Fall of Zocolral: a story of woeful tragedy
« Reply #2 on: February 23, 2013, 04:35:18 pm »

Here lie deep ruins
Zocolral's green lesson
Pull levers sooner!
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...and have a fortress protected by weaponized killer trousers. No need for an army. When goblins arrive, just deploy the pants.

thegoatgod_pan

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Re: The Fall of Zocolral: a story of woeful tragedy
« Reply #3 on: February 23, 2013, 05:30:50 pm »

... and suddenly, finally, one of the dwarves came to his senses! He would pull the lever - and posthaste, or so it seemed!

It seemed, that is, until he changed his mind and abandoned the task altogether. Indeed, both he and his many companions.

Next time put the lever in the burrow :P
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More ridiculous than reindeer?  Where you think you supercool and is you things the girls where I honestly like I is then why are humans on their as my people or what would you?

maddwarf

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Re: The Fall of Zocolral: a story of woeful tragedy
« Reply #4 on: February 23, 2013, 07:33:11 pm »

Were it that the lever were outside, fellow dwarf-in-chief! Nay, for I must report that its presence inside the burrow did naught to convince its stubborn residents, wholly committed to doom as they were...

On the next embark
The seven dwarves of madness
Neglect no levers!
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Baccar Wozat

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Re: The Fall of Zocolral: a story of woeful tragedy
« Reply #5 on: February 23, 2013, 10:23:23 pm »

Prosaic switch tale
But the attempted haiku
Posts made up for it.
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chaosgear

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Re: The Fall of Zocolral: a story of woeful tragedy
« Reply #6 on: February 23, 2013, 10:54:53 pm »

Perhaps you should try
to invest in a U.R.I.S.T.
What's with the haikus
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I always seem to end up with a magnificent burial complex and nowhere near enough bodies to fill it, or far too many bodies and nowhere to put any of them.

Coalwalker

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Re: The Fall of Zocolral: a story of woeful tragedy
« Reply #7 on: February 24, 2013, 12:13:49 am »

He learned his lesson
Put levers farther inside
Bay12 has its say
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So to recap, one minute everything was going just great, and the next we have caverns collapsing, firebreathing cave beasts, underground brush fires, a screaming swarm of poltergheists back for revenge, zombies in the corridors, drunken brawls in the dining halls, magma pouring into the caverns, rotting miasma everywhere, insanity, madness, and a flying crocodile heading right towards us!

maddwarf

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Re: The Fall of Zocolral: a story of woeful tragedy
« Reply #8 on: February 24, 2013, 04:53:55 pm »

There comes word from the newly-founded dwarven outpost of Avalsazir! Its fitting nickname, perhaps generated in morbid irony, appears to be "Lovelybridges" no less - but the bold adventurers pay no regard to such a figment of chance, boldly venturing forth to stake their claim in the great unexplored lands once more!

Yes, and splendidly goes the journey thus far, for they have struck none other than fertile soil and purest gold! With a lengthened entry hallway and a new-found thirst for pulling levers, never again shall they be conquered and laid to ruin by a mob of unruly goblins!

To Avalsazir,
the band of dwarves did proceed.
We toast their fortune!
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Umune

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Re: The Fall of Zocolral: a story of woeful tragedy
« Reply #9 on: February 24, 2013, 10:54:30 pm »

What a curious
turn of events in this thread.
Quite strange derailing.
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Coalwalker

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Re: The Fall of Zocolral: a story of woeful tragedy
« Reply #10 on: February 25, 2013, 07:37:12 am »

Urdim Duthnur toasts your fortune! May much fun come your way. Feel free to import any of our selection of ≡gneiss coffins≡ !

What a curious
turn of events in this thread.
Quite strange derailing.
By 'strange' derailing
You of course mean awesome
Display of great verse
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So to recap, one minute everything was going just great, and the next we have caverns collapsing, firebreathing cave beasts, underground brush fires, a screaming swarm of poltergheists back for revenge, zombies in the corridors, drunken brawls in the dining halls, magma pouring into the caverns, rotting miasma everywhere, insanity, madness, and a flying crocodile heading right towards us!

maddwarf

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Re: The Fall of Zocolral: a story of woeful tragedy
« Reply #11 on: February 25, 2013, 09:55:59 am »

I thank thee heartily, Coalwalker of Urdim Duthnur! As for exceptional resting-places, indeed, I shall take eighty if you please, and can offer my entire hoard of orthoclase wheelbarrows in return.

Lately my enterprising workers hollowed out a vast and impressive storage system for water, complete with operating floodgate! As I took a moment to admire their handiwork, I could not help but notice the ingenious positioning thereof, its supply tunnel connected squarely to a (now-drained) murky pool. Stagnant water for all!

The fool dwarves of Avalsazir now suitably reassigned to channel the nearest available brook, I nonetheless bestowed a thought upon their committed and faithful use of levers - both of the floodgate and drawbridge varieties. Truly, were there an Olympic event in lever-pulling, they would thus far have almost secured the gold medal for speedy execution!

With this great encouragement taken to heart, the sturdy labourers turn their attention to their next grand project... the harnessing of boiling magma! Surely, with this force of nature, they will rule the very continent!

An engraving:
Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The dwarves store water,
knowing magma leverage
will conquer the world!
« Last Edit: February 25, 2013, 10:08:05 am by maddwarf »
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Coalwalker

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Re: The Fall of Zocolral: a story of woeful tragedy
« Reply #12 on: February 25, 2013, 10:44:16 am »

I thank thee heartily, Coalwalker of Urdim Duthnur! As for exceptional resting-places, indeed, I shall take eighty if you please, and can offer my entire hoard of orthoclase wheelbarrows in return.
Orthoclase wheelbarrows! Surely this must be some breakthrough, as we have only ever known the shaping of wheelbarrows from wood and metal.
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So to recap, one minute everything was going just great, and the next we have caverns collapsing, firebreathing cave beasts, underground brush fires, a screaming swarm of poltergheists back for revenge, zombies in the corridors, drunken brawls in the dining halls, magma pouring into the caverns, rotting miasma everywhere, insanity, madness, and a flying crocodile heading right towards us!

maddwarf

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Re: The Fall of Zocolral: a story of woeful tragedy
« Reply #13 on: February 26, 2013, 02:23:36 pm »

Your blissful (former) ignorance of such is more than forgivable, Walker of the Coal, for indeed you have yet to see the countless further fine examples of craftsmanship soon to be produced by Avalsazir! Crutches of gold, coffins of diamond and wheelbarrows forged from purest magma; oh yes!

Now, if my brave adventurers just dig a little deeper... Ah! I can smell the magma already!
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maddwarf

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Re: The Fall of Zocolral: a story of woeful tragedy
« Reply #14 on: February 27, 2013, 10:51:17 pm »

A terrible disaster has befallen Avalsazir!

Yes, for the entire fort is swimming in Dwarven babies! There are surely over fifty of the scoundrels! Surely, this will be the fortress' undoing...

Not only that, but a foul vampire seems to have breached the walls, hidden amongst a recent band of immigrants... I hurried to enclose him in a room (shortly after which he dined on the blood of the poor dwarf inhabitant) but alas, for I cannot order my meagre military forces to slay him!

Woe, woe to Avalsazir, the mighty slayer of Titans and discoverer of caves, yet now the haunt of vampires and squabbling hordes of infants!
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