Steph Mc. ReasonableCaptain tries to negotiate for the release of the hostage, not expecting Art (the RD Who Doesn't Do Anything) and her sidekick/laser-tag buddy Alden to actually find the clown. When we capture Peps (after much failure on my part, Alden's heroics, and a cloud of NO2 being released), I drag her sleeping body to the bridge and Steph promptly shoots her dead, then shoos me away. So, the dynamic duo go out again, this time with all-access on my card. When we actually find the clown, Steph switches over to KILLMAIMBURN mode and we search the pods. Cue that fustercluck at Dorms. After much stupidity and the clown using up nearly every charge in the area I finally tag her with a taser, shoot her dead, weld le critted/nekkid clown in a locker, and drag Steph just far enough that her corpse accidentally goes shooting out into space when the pod leaves, rather than being safe and sound as my buttrest on the pod. Vlad, ironically enough, came out the healthiest of any of us. I think that Alden was critted, and Steph probably was too even before space, the clown was critted, and I was about a peck on the cheek away from going into crit.
Obviously the best way to resolve hostage situations is for everyone to get into a slapstick brawl while the hostage watches from a safe distance.