And, if you ever have me as AI, you're also wanted for incompetence and screwy hormones.
Yep.
It was a normal shift for Vladmir F. Dimitri. Wake up asleep at his desk and not give a fuck. Then a radiation storm blah blah blah. Short story short, he was now a space wizard with demi-god like powers. It turns out that Nicole Tsuri, one of the scientists onboard, was infected by a parasite that did the same to her... and made her part slime, but hey she didn't complain so he didn't worry.
Vladmir used his powers of conjuring to make a schoolgirl outfit and kitty ears because why not. Nicole offered to put her DNA in Vladmir so he won't be ridiculed for crossdressing and then stuff happens!
He went to go set up the engine and with his luck the Shield generators ran out just as the singularity was generated and he rushed to turn it off. He did and luckily it only was a three by three one and Nicole was there conveniently and short story short, she threw a bag of holding at it and it went away. They went to the locker room and had a conversation on: 'Are you still getting used to using the restroom as a female?' and 'Want to go try on some underwear?'
Because the awkwardness couldn't get any higher, they began talking about building a spaceship and Vladmir brings up the whole 'Space pioneer' thing and there is an awkward silence before they decide to go ahead and go. They go into space and Spacewind takes Nicole to the outpost while Vladmir has to make his way back slowly. They meet up discuss building a fortress in the asteroid and go to building that.
After building a basic area, they then coat some of the walls in diamond because 'Why the fuck not' and while it looks cool, it had a certain effect on the two as they had to forcibly stop themselves from staring. Nicole went SSD and VLadmir took her to a bedroom he carved out for her and then more shit happens!
A Donk co. operative finds their way to his little hideout and after scaring Vladmir half to death, they make their way inside. much to Vladmir's disapproval and after a short conversation ranging from 'I killed thousands of people in a firey explosion' to 'OW YOU SHOT MY NEW BOOB' needless to say it got awkward after that point. After that incident, they take of their helmet and lo and behold, it's Alina Koch. Vladmir isn't shocked and after a short talk, Alina leaves.
A WAFFLE co. operative finds THEIR way to his home and they have a talk, he get's shot again and then he leaves. THEN the syndicate overlord comes and then demonstrates(to himself of course) the proper way of abusing a person by pulling a couple bullets in Vladdy's brain. He leaves his ID on purpose because a death squad is after him and wants VLadmir to take the fall.
Then Oficialus Koch comes by and puts a couple lasers in Vladmir head and chest, and beats Vladmir up a bit because Vladmir said 'I've seen your daughter naked' and threatens to do it again when he says 'Well she is sexy' then leaves because he has to kill his daughter. Alina comes back, Vladmir tells her to get out of her Syndie space suit(As the room had pressurized just as she came in) and then he begins to fiddle with lights. He has a bimbo moment and then remembers he has to put wires and use a screwdriver on the fixtures.
Daddy Koch comes back and after a bit of dragging Vladdy into the non oxygenated part without air and later dragging him outside with air, then shooting him a bunch and healing him with Adminozirine, he was proved to be the real Alina. He then left and then shit hit the fan. The syndie overlord came back, revealed he collected the IDs of those he killed, and after a bit of idle chat, he says. "I'm late by three days. The gamemode can't start without me"
Vladmir questioned what the flying fuck he meant by 'Gamemode' he then said 'Kobold A-Say 'Vladmir knows to much. I repeat VLadmir knows to much' and then VLadmir freaks out more 'Gamode? A-Say? What teh fuck are you talking about?' He then leaves and says 'The admins will take care of you'
Vladmir *sigh and then picks up Nicole's katana and made a combat shotty and a bag of holding and two pockets full of Shotty shells, ready to take on these 'Admins'
A lone syndie outfited person came with a pulse gun. He retreated to the bar, standing by the door, and they had a talk.
"Admins? What the flying fuck"
"Kobold get Ice on the comms, tell him he as to control Vladmir"
"I want an explanation." Pumps shotgun "Now."
"You are a 2d toy in a game about spacemen"
"..."
"Yes"
"What...I..." Pulls out katana and charges soldier, hitting them once before being knocked down.
"You won't remember any of this when the round ends."
"Round?"
"Yes."
"My life... is just a game..."
"Yes. So is mine."
"Th-Then how do you know?"
"Meta"
"Meta?"
"Yes. Now I'm off to ERP, correctly kill crew members and grief"
Vladmir stands up as the man leaves, a strange... giggly feeling in his head. He picks up teh shotgun and slowly walks over to one of the chairs he had made earlier, sat down and pumped the shotgun.
BAM!
Restarting World!
Initiated by Kobold
Obviously some things were added/changed to keep it interesting and because I forgot exactly what happened.
Vladmir's Backstory is really just some things I thought were interesting, found they weren't hated and kept as long as no one absolutely hated it.
Dumbamir: RD and Scientist. Not the brightest. Aliases: Vladmir Dimitri, Notsobrightamir
Painamir: Geneticist, CMO or MD. Sadomasochist. Aliases: Vladmir Dimitri
Engiamir: CE, Station engineer. Eh. Aliases: Vladmir Dimitri
Silentamir: Mime. Silent. Aliases: Vladmir Dimitri
Scienceamir: Scientist. The most frequent Vladmir. Is a Crossdresser and aspires to achieve great (Dastardly) things. Aliases: Vladmir Dimitri
Jorgi: Janitor. Janitor Vladmir. Aliases: Vladmir Dimitri, Janitormir
Pedomir: RD. Creepy one, 'Nuff said. Aliases: Oh god why is he doing that?!