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Author Topic: Space Station 13: Urist McStation  (Read 2145085 times)

Vactor

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Re: Space Station 13: Urist McStation
« Reply #16755 on: May 12, 2014, 07:30:59 am »

server is back up
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Darvi

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Re: Space Station 13: Urist McStation
« Reply #16756 on: May 12, 2014, 08:38:39 am »

I broked it >:
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Hanslanda

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Re: Space Station 13: Urist McStation
« Reply #16757 on: May 12, 2014, 10:11:09 am »

Fun and useless. I don't think I can name a time when a court case went on that resulted in a sentence other than what the security team was going to do already or didn't end in a riot/act of terrorism.

Now I have to tell the story of my Attempted Rape trial. Get ready!

One of my first rounds ever on Yogstation, I was a Chemist-ling. Standing in the Medbay lobby, realizing all the other medbay staff were also lings, the HoS walks right up next to me and lights a cigarette. I start talking to her. Mainly about how I had always wanted to be a Security Officer. She happily tells me she has an opening, and that the HoP would surely change my job. So we go do that.

Then we go to the Brig and I load up, as she stands chatting to me. Finally, she asks, sort of slyly, "You want anything extra out of the Armory?"

Bewildered at my own insanely good fortune, I followed along. I was a terrible ling at the time, so I just grabbed her and she panicked and backed off. Then everyone showed up and arrested me while I refused to make comment.

And then a beautiful thing happened.

I was put on trial for Attempted Rape. My lawyer was actually competent, and the HoS made some cunning points during the trial, but my defense was pretty deviously clever. I told the court that I had thought she was coming on to me, and I had tried to make a move, but come on too strong. I was acquitted of all charges after she decided it was a huge misunderstanding.

Then, I went to the Arrivals wing to check out a call-in, but I started dying mysteriously for no reason halfway, and I passed out and died in the locker rooms (Box station layout.) I used the regenerative stasis, and woke up before anyone walked by. I went to the Security Checkpoint, and you know what I see as soon as I turn the corner? A fellow Security Officer. And a small message at the bottom of the chat, announcing my regeneration.

For fuck's sake. This is Yogstation, so he starts shouting about me being a Ling into the Security channel. I drop my tazer and baton on the ground, and stand outside the door. He draws his baton and rushes me. I said, "I like you well enough, mate. Nothing personal, eh?" As he harmbaton'd me to death. Then, lying there regenerating again (Because what other options do I have?) they start dragging me to the incinerator. Right as we get there and I get shoved in, the HoS arrives.

She pulls me out of the incinerator as I suddenly regenerate. In the middle of a small room full of the security team. Then she berates them for not interrogating me first, and drags me to the Permabrig. On the way there, she asks if I had checked my messages on my PDA. I hadn't, and the question sort of mystified me.

Once at the Permabrig, the Captain arrives and orders for me to be executed and incinerated immediately. A security borg echoes this statement, but the HoS argues them both down and keeps me in the Permabrig under her own supervision. Elsewhere on the station, havoc is going down because Changelings are hunting people and being hunted. As the Captain and borg leave to bring order, the HoS tells me that she had PDA'd me during the trial. Asking to go out for a drink after it was down.

After this, she basically helps me escape from Permabrig when the shuttle is called, and we get into the Security Pod, but the window is broken out so we had to bring internals and wait until the last few seconds. She got buckled in.

I did not. Sucked into space for the loss.

Funny thing was, she wasn't even a changeling. I just somehow had the best dumb luck to have ever existed. And this is the story of the time Hans was the worst Ling ever.
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Well, we could put two and two together and write a book: "The Shit that Hans and Max Did: You Won't Believe This Shit."
He's fucking with us.

Darvi

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Re: Space Station 13: Urist McStation
« Reply #16758 on: May 12, 2014, 10:22:19 am »


Now I have to tell the story of my Attempted Rape trial.
This sentence has the highest concentration of things I don't like in the entire thread. Touching, courtroom RP, Hans, and somebody failing at not being caught committing a crime.
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Aseaheru

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Re: Space Station 13: Urist McStation
« Reply #16759 on: May 12, 2014, 03:00:27 pm »

Hans, that is beautiful.
And shockingly awesome.

THIS IS WHY I LIKE RP PEOPLE. BECAUSE I WANT TO WITNESS THIS BEAUTIFUL SHIT INSTEAD OF JUST HEARING ABOUT IT.
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Warning, nearly incapable of expressing tone in text

Vactor

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Re: Space Station 13: Urist McStation
« Reply #16760 on: May 12, 2014, 03:22:43 pm »

I just somehow had the best dumb luck to have ever existed.

Sounded more like a seasoned player taking you under their wing, and keeping the round interesting.
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Slayerhero90

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Re: Space Station 13: Urist McStation
« Reply #16761 on: May 12, 2014, 04:34:03 pm »

NU SERBER?
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werty892

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Re: Space Station 13: Urist McStation
« Reply #16762 on: May 12, 2014, 06:11:16 pm »

GET ON YOU SPACE CUNTS!

Glloyd

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Re: Space Station 13: Urist McStation
« Reply #16763 on: May 12, 2014, 07:32:08 pm »

Tourettes needs a cure.

I think it's caused by either brain or clone damage, or less likely a mutation. All of which are curable (oh right, and you don't need meds to fix brain damage, BTW, you can do a surgery to fix it).

Also, I completely forgot to mention it, but Glloyd: in the new Genetics, the monkey/human block is the last block, 50, but it's the old last block, 27, that starts with threshold value at DAC. So as-is, if you take a full genome injector from monkey DNA, you'd have a humanizer injection plus whatever mutation is housed at block 27, if any are.

I'll take a look at it, thanks for letting me know.

Glloyd you DID get NTstation's fix for cake cake cake cake cake cakecake cake cake cake cake cakecake cake cake cake cake cakecake cake cake cake cake cake, right.

Yup, we got it.

I think I killed it by waiting for admins to watch me show two bugs.

The first bug is that when something finishes, what is held is dropped.
The second is duping foods.

Can you PM me how to reproduce them?

Ozarck

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Re: Space Station 13: Urist McStation
« Reply #16764 on: May 12, 2014, 08:35:45 pm »

Fun and useless. I don't think I can name a time when a court case went on that resulted in a sentence other than what the security team was going to do already or didn't end in a riot/act of terrorism.

I actually ran a trial once that ended with someone being cleared of all charges. I think there was an opposing argument from a security type, but that could have been the peanut gallery. I vote fun and basically useless, excepting in cases where we have a very interesting set of players and are able to sufficiently manage them (so ... never).

Ozarck

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Re: Space Station 13: Urist McStation
« Reply #16765 on: May 12, 2014, 08:41:17 pm »

And this is the story of the time Hans was the worst Ling ever.

This is amazing. I cannot fathom this. I was pretty sure I was always the worst ling / cult / moderator / ninja.

Azated

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Re: Space Station 13: Urist McStation
« Reply #16766 on: May 13, 2014, 02:33:53 am »

Someone teleported right on top of me. I was wondering how that happened until I remembered I had a tracking beacon in my pocket. If only I had been out on the asteroid and not inside....

Yeah that was me. Oopsies.

I was playing a private server with three or so other people some time ago and had this happen to me. The difference is that this person was a ninja, and when ninjas teleported on top of someone they gibbed them.

The first time it happened, we omg'd in OOC and the owner revived me to keep RP going. Then it happened again. And, to really top it off, it happened a third time.

Ninjas teleport randomly. This guy randomly teleported directly onto my tile and gibbed me three times. Incidentally, he also gibbed Ian at some point, which was blsaphemy in itself.
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Then it happened. Then I cringed. Then I picked it up and beat him to death with it, and then his buddies, too.
You beat a man to death with his dick?

"I don't feel like myself. Maybe I should have Doc take a look at me" ~ Dreamy
 "You're gonna trust a dwarf that got his medical degree from a pickaxe?" ~ Bossy

Darvi

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Re: Space Station 13: Urist McStation
« Reply #16767 on: May 13, 2014, 03:06:22 am »

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MrWillsauce

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Re: Space Station 13: Urist McStation
« Reply #16768 on: May 13, 2014, 07:17:56 am »

I just realized that Trey Lloyd is the Space Station 13 equivalent of Dr. Zoidberg.
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Iceblaster

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Re: Space Station 13: Urist McStation
« Reply #16769 on: May 13, 2014, 07:29:24 am »

We need a round where traitor Trey has to infect people with Cortical borers.

Do et.
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