I now recount from the history books recovered from the fashionable ruins of the old new New York Public Library of great ruler King emperor Mario the Fourteenth -
"Dwarf Fortress, the catalyst of the downfall of humanity, was conceived in the early 1980's, before the reign of our Great Ruler and empeeror among all, Mario the Fourteenth. Released for public view in 1987, the game remained in relative obscurity until being picked up for a reality television show, titled, 'All my beards'. The show featured a cast of over sixty-four thousand sentient beards living together in a volcano, with one beard being voting off to the barbers shop each week. The television program garnered wide-spread, almost cult-like affection around the world. Shortly after the untimely demise of Beardo, one of the remaining eight beards, the show faded into the background, barely managing to stay on the air with a measly seven beards.
Amphibian the Conquerer, known in the year of 1993 simply as Toadicus Oneicus (An archaic script of ancient Marioese), or Frog Two (rough translation. Writing from that era is a rare and expensive delicacy) suffered from Massive Success syndrome. His production team consisted of between forty-one and forty-three million coders, programmers, graphics designers, public relations officers, and managers of their Digital Distribution software, humorously named, 'Original' (While incredibly successful, critics dubbed the software a steaming pile of giant rat fecal matter. However, after the rise of Amphibian the Conquerer, these critics quickly renounced their statements before deciding to live in isolation, often disappearing from existence completely).
Many did not feel that Amphibians success was well deserved. Mario the Wise (Who would later become Mario the first) lead a revolt against Amphibian, destroying his Moon-base and claiming dominance over all his territory. The battle, however, quickly decimated the population of the United Solar Confederation, obliterating Mars and Pluto, and rendering all other celestial bodies uninhabitable (Including the gas giants. Such a thing was not believed possible).
Mario and his chief advisor, Princess Mango, managed to reverse the polarity on one of Amphibians chemicalbiosuperdeathnukes and detonate it during a journey to the centre of earth, creating a barely liveable atmosphere on the planet above. Mario died shortly after returning to the surface, but his genetically engineered pseudo-son ruled in his place, with each successive son increasing in numerals for a successive seven years of long and happy dominion."
~ Unkown author, dated February 31st, year 2000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 (Repeating 18475782873678578623786 times. Author found dead at his computer, an ascii Dwarf seared into his back, finger still on the 0 key. Exact year unkown)