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[Vector]

Actual Sunlight.

[Scoops Novel]

I played it twice, and got the good ending, i think. I was good. I have similar experiences, but it's not so much that i question y self worth as i question everyone and everything else's, or in other words, get very angry at not having my apparently impossibly high standards met.

[Lectorog]

It's never too late to pretend.
Your imagination is the only limit.

[Graknorke]

I got the ending where everything goes to shit by being honest.

Now time to powergame it I guess.

[Lectorog]

I got the ending where nothing ever changes. I haven't seen the others but I know this one's my favorite.

[Euld]

My boyfriend played this game, we're going to play it together sometime.  I know.  Sounds weird.  We both feel a lot of feels about this game.

[DJ]

It's not very realistic IMO. I made choices I would've IRL, and wound up too depressed to get out of bad. Meanwhile I'm only mildly depressed IRL. Also, when the hell did talking openly to family help anyone? They're just there to dispense scorn.

[Lectorog]

It's not very realistic IMO. I made choices I would've IRL, and wound up too depressed to get out of bad. Meanwhile I'm only mildly depressed IRL.

I think the character is just supposed to have worse depression than you, then. And/or due to their personality they did uncontrollable things differently than you would.

Also, when the hell did talking openly to family help anyone? They're just there to dispense scorn.

Helped me IRL by providing a therapist. Though I was 16 and fully dependent on them, so.

[Pnx]

So finally after seeing this thread around for ages but mostly ignoring it I bit the bullet and decided to try it, I only got a few pages in before I stopped. I honestly found it rather painful to play, not in the sense that it was tugging at my heartstrings but in the sense that it was like watching a train wreck happen in slow motion. It also seemed nothing like my experiences with suicidality and depression, which is not to say it's not like how someone might go through it... but yeah.

Maybe I'll give the thing Vector linked a try... seems a bit more interesting.

[Ancre]

I tried it. The character have a depression that is similar to mine, so I picked all the answers I felt helped most. I got a good ending !

Spoiler: good ending (click to show/hide)

You've never really thought of yourself as a "fighter," and even to say it now it sounds hokey, but looking back on the past few months to where you are now it really does feel like you've endured an immense struggle, and you look at where you are now with a sense of something that isn't quite pride.

You still hate your job and find it unpleasant, but you're surprised to find that going into work every day is no longer a monumental challenge; you've started adopting some clever techniques, like taking short 2-minutes breaks every hour to break up the monotony, and you now view your job as just 8 short hours of your day, a compartmentalization technique Dr. Melville told you about that you've found actually works quite well. You know this job isn't what you want to do for the rest of your life, and you've started actively looking for other positions, even attending a couple of preliminary interviews.

You've started making effort to go out with your friends more. While the social scene still makes you very uncomfortable sometimes, you're more and more able to let yourself just enjoy the company of your friends. In fact, your relationship with many of them has increased over the past little while. You still definitely have days where you flake out or don't feel up to hanging out, but for the most part your friends are understanding and appreciate your communication.

By far the biggest change you've noticed in your life has been in your relationship with Alex. You were terrified of talking to her about everything at first, but looking back you feel like it's only strengthened your relationship.She was always supportive of you emotionally, but lately the two of you have been even more in sync, and it's really starting to feel like you're building a life together. It even seems like the two of you have been making a more concerted effort to sync up your schedules, and have been spending more and more of your down time with each other; pretty soon you think moving in together may be a very real possibility.

Dr. Melville has commented on how well you seem to be doing, and whether a result of the therapy, the medication, or both, you can't help but agree.

With all that seems to have improved recently, it's sometimes difficult for you to think about the fact that you still have bad days - sometimes even really bad days. They serve as a stark reminder of the fact that this will be something you likely have to deal with for the rest of your life. Depression is a battle, and though you're certainly ahead in the fight, you know the battle isn't ever going to be over. Sometimes even Alex can tell when things are going rough, despite your best efforts to the contrary.

While you know that your depression can never be "cured," you have a very strong support network in your friends and even Malcolm, and armed with a newfound confidence in your friends and family, you accept that though the road may be rocky, it is at very least not solitary.

You meet your mom's gaze from across the table and muster up a smile.

"I'm good, mom, you tell her.

She says nothing, but you can feel her smile from across the room.

It made me happy. Some of the answers were informative, too, options I've never considered.

[Vector]

Eh, it's not a thing Vector's played, just a thing she saw linked elsewhere in a similar context (and lauded highly).

[Pnx]

Eh, it's not a thing Vector's played, just a thing she saw linked elsewhere in a similar context (and lauded highly).

Is Vector referring to Vector only in the third person now?

[Vector]

Nope.  Just foolin' around.

[Pnx]

Ah, and here I thought it was evidence that Vector was more of a concept than a person.

[Mr Space Cat]

So I'm playing Depression Quest for the first time at the moment.

I can relate with a bunch of it. The "moods," the peaks of fatigue and self-doubt, the lack of motivation at times, the discomfort in social situations, and blah blah blah holy crap this game. This game man. I need to go deeper and see what happens.

EDIT: Beat it. I'm not sure what ending I got specifically. It sounds like a "never-ending cliffhanger" ending. Now I'm gonna play it again.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

When you think about the past few months and what you've been through in trying to deal with them, what you feel most is an overwhelming sense of exhaustion.

The soul crushing mundanity of your day job has started to catch up with you, and you find yourself less and less willing or able to deal with spending 8 hours a day at a job you find unrewarding. While some people you've talked to have encouraged you to seek out new, more meaningful employment, the stress of your job causes you to shut down more often than not, to the point where you've started missing normal work days even more than before. Lately you've even lacked the energy to take part in anything enjoyable outside of work hours, and your life is quickly becoming a vastly unfulfilling cycle of work/sleep/work. You've started existing merely on a day-to-day basis.

Your relationship with your friends has started to deteriorate as well. Though you've known some of them since high school, you've never been comfortable letting them into this facet of your life, and that's true now more than ever. Your frequent bouts of both ambivalence and panic have caused you to flake out on more and more engagements, and your shame at your own situation keeps you from ever talking to your friends about it for fear that the "real you" would be repulsive to them. In spite of your best efforts, your friends have noticed that something is up, and you get the sense that your unwillingness to open up on more than a surface level has offended them. You worry about driving your friends away, and yet find yourself paralyzed and unwilling to let them in.

After several long conversations with Alex, things finally reached their breaking point. She told you that you seem to "love being miserable more than you love her," and that you cling to that comfortable misery as a way to keep from effecting any positive change, and after several weeks of having the same fight she decided it was too much to bear. While she told you that she still loves you, she can't let herself or her plans be held back by a partner who doesn't share an equal interest in moving forward.

You have communicated many of these events to Dr. Melville in your sessions, and have told her that you feel like you're losing more and more control over your life. She seems very concerned, and has suggested that you keep coming to your sessions for the time being.

Pouring over the events of the past few months it is difficult to not feel a profound sense of loss. What's worse, part of your brain is still acutely aware of how badly you've managed to mess things up, and that just makes you feel worse. Most days you feel detached, like you're simply watching your body go through its motions. You desperately wish you could regain control, but you seem unable to force yourself to take any of the necessary steps.

"Things are fine, I guess you tell your mother across the table. Your voice sounds so weak you doubt anyone present believes you, least of all yourself.