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Author Topic: (LP)Soulsilver xtreme Ranlocke--The darkness menaces with spikes of fish  (Read 17387 times)

Man of Paper

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I say Charmander. A Steel-type Charizard seems...awesome. If you last that long.
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Urist Imiknorris

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Dragons are totally metal, so obviously you'll be wanting Charmander.
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Quote from: LordSlowpoke
I don't know how it works. It does.
Quote from: Jim Groovester
YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
Quote from: Cheeetar
If Tiruin redirected the lynch, then this means that, and... the Illuminati! Of course!

Mr Space Cat

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Re: (LP)Soulsilver xtreme Ranlocke--Heavy Metal Charmander Jesus eats yo face!
« Reply #17 on: February 16, 2013, 02:10:15 pm »

Chapter 1 continued...part 3
I carefully survey each of the three pokemon.

One is this sort of ball with arms and legs. For some reason it's carrying an egg around, and it's insubstantial to the touch.

Similarly, there's this one little mouse thing, colored bright yellow and black.It too is also insubstantial to the touch. How odd.

The third is this lizard-like creature, bright orange and with a flame burning constantly atop its tail. Despite this bright firey color scheme, it's quite cool to the touch, and has the smooth texture of finely hammered steel.

...Dude, that lizard is seriously metal right there.I can't say no to such an awesome thing as that.

I know just what to name him too.
With Jesus in tow, Elm gives me the directions to Mr Pokemon's house: just past Cherrygrove City, the next town over. Follow the path and
I should get there without too much trouble...if you discount the fact there's the unknown wilds lurking between me and Cherrygrove.

Still, I think I have faith in my metal-lizard friend here. He doesn't seem too viscous or face-eating--

Oh arceus, I can see the look of hunger in its eyes.

Please don't eat my face, Jesus.


OH ARCEUS, IT'S CHECKING IF I SMELL GOOD. GET THOSE SAVAGE TEETH AWAY FROM ME OH MAN----


Oh...I guess it just likes me? Or it likes what it sees. If I see that thing licking its chops at me while we're out, I'm chucking a rock at the beast and legging it, knighthood be damned.

I prepare to leave the lab and Jesus seems eager to follow me (doesn't want it's meal to wander off, maybe?). Before I can blow this joint Elm's weedy-looking aide stops me. He offers some medications in case things go bad out there. I thank him for his kindness, mentally biting back a snarky comment on his short-shorts and ckicken-legs, and head out into the world with Heavy Metal Jesus at my side.
Spoiler: Potions get! (click to show/hide)



--Only to get this chick all up in my face. Peasant please, I'm a Knight of the Agency, bugger off.
She babbles on for a bit about something or other, oblivious to my noble superiority, then she runs off with her little blue ball thingy following behind her. Those two are gonna get eaten alive out there in the wilds, take my word for it.

I head back to mum's house to get my pokegear. Always make sure your children have an expensive phone on them, I say. It's a crucial part of safety. You never know when a game of Angry Spearows might be detrimental to your child's safety.

Oh, and I guess you can call people on it too. But seriously, who uses phones for that anymore?

Finally, I start my trek into the woods...only to get interrupted by Elm. He wanted to give me his number. I have no comments about that.

Right, into the woods we go! No more disruptions! Savage teddy bear picnic, here I come! Get ready for GTFO and Heavy Metal Jesus, professional picnic crashers!CHAAAAAAARGE!

Not too far into the depths of the woods, we find the path overgrown with tall grass. I've done my research; all my PokePaladin comics have taught me the xeno-beast pokemon lurk in the grass for the unsuspecting weak! I'm not weak!...nah man, totally not weak.

Just to be safe, I throw tactically send heavy metal jesus into the grass first, y'know, to scout.

OH ARCEUS WHAT IN MY ANAGRAMMED NAME IS THAT. JESUS TAKE THE LEAAAAD!

Jesus knows what to do! He tackles the elephantine thing, despite it being larger and fatter than me, and nimbly crawls up to its face to bite its nose off! One gnashing of teeth and the ugly heretic's trunk is severed! The beast flops over in pain and passes out, as Jesus proceeds to gnaw at the still living body. I hastily flee the scene in panic, going deeper into the forest.

Oh man, that was messy. I didn't realize that stuff like this was included in the job description! I never read the fine print!

I huddle down by a ledge for a bit and try to think about fluffy pink unicorns...manly unicorns of metal, I mean, and try to ignore the chewing sounds in the bushes. Jesus rejoins me a short while later. He at least had the decency to wipe his face clean...I try not to think about his natural skill at eating faces and we press on deeper into the woods, my confidence visibly shaken, but not completely stirred.

Another of the elephant-things ambushes us. It actually survives one of Jesus' trademark face-crunches. It summons swarms of bees from the trees to attack Jesus, but his metal flesh forged in the Flaming Depths of Heavy Metal let him shrug of the swarming insects' stinging! The elephant-thing swings a grassy-whip at Jesus, but his metal-flesh is even more unfazed! Jesus lunges once again for the elephant-thing's trunk! Once more, the monster falls to Jesus' face-crunching prowess! The swarms of bees flee the scene as Jesus digs into the corpse. I don't wait around to watch, and when Jesus rejoins me he looks a bit stronger.

Further along the path, a large bird suddenly swoops down on Jesus! He looks intimidated, but he quickly launches a shot of pure shining metal light from is mouth, blinding the bird and knocking it from the sky! The viscous bird-of-prey shoots one of it's own eggs(don't ask how) at Jesus in a last attempt at self-defense, but the blind shot misses terribly and a face-crunch finishes the failed-predator off. The battle was so quick I couldn't catch a clear glimpse of the bird-beast. Jesus claims his kill once more in grisly fashion, and looks bigger and tougher from the feeding. He seems to grow quickly.

Surprisingly, tears spring to my little partner's eyes! Is the violence too much even for one of these blood-thirsty creatures??

Oh, nah. Jesus notes my look of concern and visibly laughs at me, wiping the crocodile tears from his eyes and running ahead. The sneaky little git is learning quick.

We are nearing the town now. I can see it's borders!

Ack! Another bird! Jesus! Eat it!

Yep. He ate it alright. I seem to be getting used to tragedy and gore, and surprisingly quickly. As a side note, these bird things seem quite filling; Jesus grows with each meal, yet he never seems satiated.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, we've made it at last; Cherrygrove city. Rows of pretty flowers and stereotypical white picket fences greet us. I need a nap, and a poke-root-beer or three. This job's harsh, man.
Spoiler: Score Tracker (click to show/hide)

Spoiler: OOC (click to show/hide)
« Last Edit: February 16, 2013, 06:44:13 pm by Mr Space Cat »
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Thexor

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Re: (LP)Soulsilver xtreme Ranlocke--Heavy Metal Charmander Jesus eats yo face!
« Reply #18 on: February 16, 2013, 03:01:04 pm »

Oooh. High Atk/SpAtk. Plus, Mirror Shot's powerful, and Fake Tears make it 2x stronger. I think you've got a winner here! Ignoring the 4x weakness to Fighting.  ;)

...although, I wonder how evolution will work. Is the randomizer smart enough to keep types consistent? Or will Charmeleon end up with completely different types and base stats? It'd suck if heavy metal Jesus turned into a Flying/Water type.
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Heron TSG

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Re: (LP)Soulsilver xtreme Ranlocke--Heavy Metal Charmander Jesus eats yo face!
« Reply #19 on: February 16, 2013, 03:07:27 pm »

It will keep at least one type upon evolution, and is weighted strongly towards keeping both if you start with two.
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Thexor

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Re: (LP)Soulsilver xtreme Ranlocke--Heavy Metal Charmander Jesus eats yo face!
« Reply #20 on: February 16, 2013, 05:54:10 pm »

Cool. I guess the randomizer's smarter than I thought!
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Urist Imiknorris

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Re: (LP)Soulsilver xtreme Ranlocke--Heavy Metal Charmander Jesus eats yo face!
« Reply #21 on: February 16, 2013, 06:27:11 pm »

Yeah, Jesus is officially the most metal Pokemon ever.
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Quote from: LordSlowpoke
I don't know how it works. It does.
Quote from: Jim Groovester
YOU CANT NOT HAVE SUSPECTS IN A GAME OF MAFIA

ITS THE WHOLE POINT OF THE GAME
Quote from: Cheeetar
If Tiruin redirected the lynch, then this means that, and... the Illuminati! Of course!

Darkening Kaos

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Re: (LP)Soulsilver xtreme Ranlocke--Heavy Metal Charmander Jesus eats yo face!
« Reply #22 on: February 16, 2013, 06:43:54 pm »

  Heavy metal Jesus ftw.
  And he's a tough little bugger, but you had better keep supplying him with food or you might be next on the menu..........
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So! Failed to make peace, war looms, kill the infidels... what are our plans for the weekend?
The Giant Moles in the caverns of my current fort breed like crazy, even while regularly being decimated by other beasts entering them...

TomatoWalrus

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Re: (LP)Soulsilver xtreme Ranlocke--Heavy Metal Charmander Jesus eats yo face!
« Reply #23 on: February 16, 2013, 08:15:08 pm »

And lo, on the first day the anointed Jesus of Littleroot, Savior of the Heavy Metal, did run into befouled beasts, warped by the works of Giratina, The Opposer. But Jesus did not fear, for he knew the Heavy Metal would keep him safe. And with the blessing of the Heavy Metal upon him did he rend the faces of the beasts with his own teeth. The Heavy Metal looked upon this and was pleased. Seeing these works done in his name, Jesus of Littleroot was blessed with even greater power, so that he may bring more glory unto the Heavy Metal.
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Xantalos

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Re: (LP)Soulsilver xtreme Ranlocke--Heavy Metal Charmander Jesus eats yo face!
« Reply #24 on: February 16, 2013, 10:17:55 pm »

PTW for great justice.
By the way, I just realized that Giratina is the closest Pokemon has to me. Therefore when I replay Platinum, I will hire only the best and most evil Pokemon (and my starter) to free Giratina from his prison, then sacrifice a member of my party (switch out with Giratina) in order to let my dark lord do as he commands me (run around killing everything with Giratina)!
Yes, I'm going to play Pokemon as a cultist to a dark god. Just have to figure out how to take screenshots, get access to a computer with internet, and I've got myself an LP!

 
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TomatoWalrus

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Re: (LP)Soulsilver xtreme Ranlocke--Heavy Metal Charmander Jesus eats yo face!
« Reply #25 on: February 16, 2013, 10:52:37 pm »

PTW for great justice.
By the way, I just realized that Giratina is the closest Pokemon has to me. Therefore when I replay Platinum, I will hire only the best and most evil Pokemon (and my starter) to free Giratina from his prison, then sacrifice a member of my party (switch out with Giratina) in order to let my dark lord do as he commands me (run around killing everything with Giratina)!
Yes, I'm going to play Pokemon as a cultist to a dark god. Just have to figure out how to take screenshots, get access to a computer with internet, and I've got myself an LP!

 

He goes against the teachings of Heavy Metal Jesus! He shall be branded a heretic and hung from a noose woven from the skin of those slain by Jesus of Littleroot. Let it henceforth be known that Heresy is a crime not tolerated by the Heavy Metal, for it is written in the book of Jables and Kage:

"New Wave tried to destroy the Metal
But the Metal had its way
Grunge then tried to dethrone the metal
But Metal was in the way
Punk Rock tried to destroy the Metal
But Metal was much too strong
Techno tried to defile the Metal
But Techno was proven wrong"


Not gonna lie, been waiting to use that Tenacious D reference since Charmander started being called Heavy Metal Jesus.
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Xantalos

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Re: (LP)Soulsilver xtreme Ranlocke--Heavy Metal Charmander Jesus eats yo face!
« Reply #26 on: February 16, 2013, 11:05:11 pm »

I'll be using Piplup as my starter, which will eventually transform into Badass Steel and Water Empoleon. I'm tempted to name it Napolethulhu.
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XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
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Darkening Kaos

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Re: (LP)Soulsilver xtreme Ranlocke--Heavy Metal Charmander Jesus eats yo face!
« Reply #27 on: February 16, 2013, 11:09:09 pm »

Unfortunately, too long a name.
Steel and Water?  Why not use Rust? Or Oxide? Summat along those lines.
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So! Failed to make peace, war looms, kill the infidels... what are our plans for the weekend?
The Giant Moles in the caverns of my current fort breed like crazy, even while regularly being decimated by other beasts entering them...

Reudh

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Re: (LP)Soulsilver xtreme Ranlocke--Heavy Metal Charmander Jesus eats yo face!
« Reply #28 on: February 16, 2013, 11:12:28 pm »

Posting to follow.

Xantalos

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Re: (LP)Soulsilver xtreme Ranlocke--Heavy Metal Charmander Jesus eats yo face!
« Reply #29 on: February 16, 2013, 11:12:36 pm »

Because I derailed the thread accidentally. Just know that somewhere, a cultist of Heavy Metal and his human slave will free Giratina.
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Sig! Onol
Quote from: BFEL
XANTALOS, THE KARATEBOMINATION
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((The Xantalos Die: [1, 1, 1, 6, 6, 6]))
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